


Not Your Average Vampire Story

by Ailarii, Miss_Fandoms_Shakespeare



Category: Naruto
Genre: F/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-22
Updated: 2017-07-22
Packaged: 2018-04-10 18:07:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 96,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4401998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ailarii/pseuds/Ailarii, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miss_Fandoms_Shakespeare/pseuds/Miss_Fandoms_Shakespeare
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sakura Haruno is finally able to return to familiar territory and continue her magical studies. This would be oh so exciting news if it weren't for one little detail. Being a late arrival her pick of housing is limited. Getting shacked up with a group of "radical" vampires could be worse. At least she'll have some eye candy during her studies. AkaSaku</p><p>(Has switched authors. Semi-hiatus, updates are (very unfortunately) very sporadic and kinda short)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is Miss_Fandoms_Shakespeare writing. I'll be taking over for a little so chapter 15 on until otherwise noted is my work. I have set the chapter count as 25 total, however, that's based on a loose outline and is subject to change.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoy this AkaSaku College AU. This is something I've had in my mind for a while now. Finally decided to put it to text! I'm excited to use AO3 for the first time as well.

Sakura Haruno stared down at her school information with twinge of dread. She'd finally – _finally –_ finished the college credits she'd needed prior to attending Konoha Gifted College. Finally she could begin her education in a world she was used to. Sure the human world was interesting but she detested hiding a whole side of herself from everyone she talked to.

Sakura was a witch and a gifted one at that. She was going to school to become a doctor in her own world. However she needed a certain number of credits from a normal human college before she could begin her studies on magical healing. It wasn't that she hated humans. They were nice for the most part. Everyone has bad apples and one species shouldn't be labeled as terrible just because one or two of them are genocidal maniacs. Whatever. But she missed being able to use her magical abilities in her every day life. Since she'd shared a dorm with a human she couldn't even do it at home. She was so, oh so, excited to be back in the magical world. To be with people like her would be fantastic if it weren't for one little detail.

“Sakura, what's wrong?” A boy who was previously leaning against the wall of the building came running over. “Did you not get in?”

Sakura shook her head, “No that's not it,” She held up the piece of paper in her hand and showed it to her friend.

“What, did you not get the right cl – Wait,” The boy read through the paper and paused when he got about halfway down.

“Naruto I've been put in Akatsuki House,” Sakura said in a defeated tone.

Naruto looked up at Sakura with a mix of fear confusion, “Why would they put you in there?”

“The lady said since I'm coming into the school so late they didn't have anywhere else to put me,” Sakura sighed and put the paper into a folder, “Damn this school for not having more dorms readily available.”

“They're building more, though,” Naruto said hopefully, “I pass by it almost every day.”

“Yeah, no,” Sakura shook her head, “I asked the woman in there and she said that's not going to be done until at least late March or early April.”

“Shit,” Naruto rubbed the back of his blond head, “That's so shitty...”

“What's shitty?” A voice came from to their right.

“Sakura's going to be rooming with your brother and his crazy friends, Sasuke,” Naruto said.

Sasuke raised an eyebrow, “Why?”

“It was all that was left,” Sakura sighed. “I have nothing against you, Sasuke, but your brother and his friends are...”

“Scary,” Naruto finished for her.

“Hn,” Sasuke grunted in agreement, “They can be.”

“I mean don't get me wrong vampires are cool people,” Sakura waved her hands in front of her face, “I mean you already know that but… The _Akatsuki_??” She started walking to the parking lot.

“I literally just parked the car,” Sasuke grumbled as he followed her.

Sakura pulled her coat tighter around her. New year's was tomorrow and the chill in the air went right to the bones. She shoved her hands into her pockets only to immediately bring them back out when a gust of wind blew her hair in front of her face and for a second all she could see was pink. She spat and blinked trying to get her hair out of her orifices and into a ponytail. “Sasuke does your brother ever talk about the Akatsuki?”

“Not really,” He replied while unlocking the car, “He only mentions them when he's letting us know they're coming over for dinner or whatever.”

Sakura thought back to all those times she saw her friend's brother and his, well, gang around Sasuke's house. She always had the same two thoughts about them. One: They were very mean and very tough looking people who looked even more mean and tough when put together. And two: They were… Hot. She wasn't going to lie to herself. These were attractive men. Attractive, dangerous, and terrifying. The rumors were actually very clear on what exactly they did. The Akatsuki was a group of younger vampires that did not agree with the elder's ideas that vampires were the one superior species and in fact believed no species was superior in any way shape or form. They strive for peace, equality, and cooperation. That doesn't sound scary on paper but they aren't the kind of people that go around with picket signs telling everyone how equality is hip. No, they're labeled as radicals that will go the extremes of killing people that push for the continued segregation between witches, vampires, and werewolves. However, while they are known to kill, Sakura has heard they save that punishment for the worst of the worst. Whether the victim is vampire, witch, or werewolf if the culprit is committing inhumane acts on any species, even human, the Akatsuki step in.

She wouldn't say it out loud but she sort of agreed with their vigilante regime. Those who would harm someone else, physically or mentally, deserve what's coming to them. But talking like that is not smart. Even her being assigned to this house is near taboo. Sure it's pretty much a house of men but that's not really a big concern. The fact that she, a witch, is going to be staying with nothing but vampires? There's going to be a lot of people that will be very unhappy about this. 

“This is going to be one _hell_ of a year,” Sakura muttered to herself from the back seat of Sasuke's car.

“Sakura,” Naruto turned to look back at her, “I'm serious if you ever need either of us call or text immediately, okay?”

“She'll be fine, dobe,” Sasuke said nonchalantly. “Itachi knows Sakura and how her best friends are a vampire and werewolf. I'm going to say that's pretty not-racist.”

“Still,” Naruto turned to face forward again, “Aren't some of them said to be insane?”

“They're sane enough to go to college,” Sasuke said.

“What the hell are they even studying?” Sakura asked.

“I think mostly business and law degrees,” Sasuke replied. “Probably so they can get their organization off the ground.”

“Smart,” Sakura mumbled to herself. “So you two are going to help me move in, right?”

“Of course!” Naruto said giving a thumbs up.

“Hn,” Sasuke grunted again.

“Awesome,” Sakura smiled looking at her two friends in the mirror. “Maybe that will help break the ice a bit. Ya know, being all, 'Hey I'm your partner's brother's best friend so like I'm cool, please don't hurt me'.” 

“I'm telling you as far as the vampire part goes, you're fine,” Sasuke said again.

“The way you're talking sounds like there's ways I might _not_ be fine,” Sakura squinted at the mirror. Sasuke stayed quiet and she kicked his seat, “Sasuke?”

“Look I'm not actually worried because you've literally been taking fighting classes since elementary school and are a black belt, but,” Sasuke paused for the right words, “You will be in a house of nothing but straight guys. Guys that probably haven't had any sort of physical contact in literal centuries,” Sasuke said.

“What you think I can't handle a few horny guys?” Sakura asked raising an eyebrow.

“I'm just saying watch out for it, okay? Most of them are alright, but I know at least one or two don't really know how to control themselves,” Sasuke said.

“Just point them out when we get there.”

~”Sasuke, where's the bubble wrap?” “Naruto took it.” “He what?” -Pop- -Pop- -Pop-~

It was a week before classes started and Sakura was spending the whole day loading her shit into a Uhaul van and lugging it from one college housing site to another. On the drive over there she was squished in between the two boys and couldn't be happier to stretch her legs. She didn't have much but what she did have would not have fit in Sasuke's sedan or Naruto's coop. Sakura didn't have a car so the boys were generous enough to offer to drive the van for her and help her unload everything. In the end she was pretty sure they came along to get an idea of her roommates. She wouldn't lie, she was actually a little excited. She told the boys to start unloading some stuff while she tried the key in the door. She was just about to turn it when the key slipped out of her hand as the door opened up. She looked up to see Sasuke's older brother Itachi standing in the doorway.

“Hello,” She said simply and stood up straight to give him a smile, “I'm Sakura Haruno. I believe you should have gotten a notice I'd be moving in today?” 

“Hn,” Itachi grunted. He looked just as she remembered. Both he and Sasuke shared their pale skin, stark black hair, and red eyes that Sakura always thought were captivating. Even after getting over her crush on Sasuke she'd fine herself lost in those ruby irises. However that's where the similarities between them ended. Itachi was tall and lean with sharp features. He was handsome in a subtle way. Everything about Itachi was subtle. He had always been a quiet guy but then again most Uchihas were quiet. Most.

Sakura smiled up at Itachi, “Well I'm glad you all had adequet notice. Would you mind showing me to my room? It'd be nice to get unpacked,” Sakura said and gestured to the van and her two helpers coming up the lawn.

“Of course,” He stepped back to let her in. She grabbed her key out of the door as she passed by and looked around. The front door was settled in a nice little porch. When she walked in she saw a nicely sized living space directly in front of her with quite a few couches. To the left was the kitchen with bar stools in front of the counters and to the right was dining table. On both sides were three doors each. One facing her straight on and two that were perpendicular to that one. Itachi directed her over to the right. He opened the perpendicular door that was to the right, “This will be your room.”

She walked in and saw it was reasonable size. Though she supposed with the amount of occupants in this house it was supposed to house about two people. It had a full sized bed across from her that was underneath the window in the center of the wall. She could see the van parked outside from where she stood. To the left of the bed was a closet and next to that a desk. She sat down on the bed facing the doorway and saw another door to the right of the entryway, “What's that?”

“Your bathroom,” Itachi said, “Or rather, this side's shared bathroom. It's a Jack-and-Jill bathroom so it has an entrance from both your room and the other one,” He gestured behind him to the other door. “It also has a third door here,” He pointed to his right, “For access outside the bedrooms.”

“Make sure all the doors are locked while peeing, got it,” Sakura said and got up. She could have sworn she saw a smile come and go but she wasn't sure. She knew how Sasuke worked but the same definitely couldn't be said for his brother. “It was nice seeing you again, Itachi,” She walked to the door and he stepped aside to let her pass.

“You as well, Sakura.”

“Is anyone else here right now?” She asked while walking to the front door.

“Someone's right here,” A hand shot up from the couch facing away from the front door.

“That's Deidara,” Itachi said. “He and Sasori live in that room,” He pointed to the other side of the home and to the right. “Kisame and I are in there,” He pointed to the left, “And across from you is Tobi and Hidan.” He pointed to the room she'd be sharing a bathroom with.

“I still don't think it was a good idea rooming them together,” Deidara jumped up from the couch and walked over to Sakura grinning, “So you're Sakura? You look different from when you used to run around the Uchiha place.”

“Yeah, I'm not immortal so I do this pretty shitty thing called aging,” Sakura said jokingly, “Seriously man don't ever try it. I hear in a few years decades it's gonna start to be a real bitch. It might even kill me.”

“You should sue,” Deidara crossed his arms still grinning.

“Be my lawyer?” Sakura said.

Deidara grinned, “Sure but of course for a fee.”

“Shit man I'm in college don't you know I'm broke?” Sakura said throwing her arms up in the air.

“I can think of other ways you can pay me back,” Deidara said.

“That one,” Sasuke's voice came from the front door.

Sakura whipped around and raised an eyebrow, “He's one?”

Sasuke nodded and motioned to the lamp he was carrying. Sakura pointed to the bedroom, “Just put it on the desk in there. I'll go get the rest of the stuff,” She moved out of his way and jogged out to the van. When she passed Naruto she yelled to just go to the room Sasuke will probably come out of. She was rifling through the van to start getting suitcases out when she heard footsteps coming towards her, “Hey Sasuke can you give me a hand here? This suitcase is going to cause all this shit to come down if I move it.”

“Yeah I can get that,” Deidara's voice came from beside her. 

She looked over and shrugged. Help was help. “Thanks man. Just hold that there while I pull this out,” She waited until he had a good grip and yanked on the suitcase. She nearly fell on her butt when the suitcase finally gave but instead landed against a large mass of what she thought was either rocks or a sudden brick wall. When two hands came up to her shoulders to help her stand back up straight she looked behind her to see a large man grinning down at her.

“Watch it there, we don't need a bloodstain outside our house,” The man said.

Sakura had to block the sun from her vision but he finally came into focus and the first thing she noticed was the light blue hue to his skin and immediately recognized this man, “Kisame, right?”

“Aw you remembered little old me?” He said and put a hand on his chest.

“How could she not?” Deidara rolled his eyes and pulled out his own suitcase to carry in. “You're blue.”

Kisame glared at Deidara, “Fuck you.”

Deidara walked to the house with his luggage and waved, “Not even if you payed me.”

Sakura picked up hers and looked back at Kisame, “Blue's an awesome color, don't listen to him.” She walked in and realized the reason Naruto and Sasuke weren't coming back out was because Sasuke and Itachi's cousin Tobi was hugging Naruto to near suffocation and Sasuke was trying to pry him off. Sakura took a moment to laugh while she ran over to try and help Sasuke out. When Tobi looked over and saw Sakura was running towards him he immediately dropped Naruto and captured Sakura in his huge hug.

“Sakura! Sakura's here!” Tobi sang over and over. 

Sakura squirmed and tried to suck in deep breaths, “Y-Yes Tobi. I'm h-here but I w-won't be much longer I-if you keep s-squeezing me like that.”

Tobi let go of her and smiled, “Sorry, Tobi's just really excited to have Sakura living with us.”

“And I'm excited to be here,” Sakura said smiling. She always did like Tobi. He was the only one that didn't look scary. And he was the only one that should look scary. He has a huge set of scars around his left eye and the eye itself was clouded and milky. But no matter what Tobi was always smiling and always trying to get others to smile. The only other member that could be considered scary would be Kisame but that's probably just because of the blue skin, height, and the oddness about his teeth. Back in his day vampires sharpened their teeth so as to get better access to the neck. It was freaky looking but he was a funny guy. It was the other members that were usually hiding violent personalities behind pretty faces.

“Oi, where do you want this?” Deidara gestured to the suitcase.

“Just put it on the bed,” Sakura said while she put her own suitcase down. She looked up at Deidara and smiled, “Thanks for the help.”

Deidara smirked, “Like I said, you can pay me back later.”

Sakura's smile faltered for a second. Deidara had a very pretty face. Blue eyes, clear tanned skin, and long blond hair that was always half up in a ponytail and with bangs covering the left side of his face. He was in all sense a handsome and very good looking man. However Sakura had learned the hard way that he was, in not so many words, nuts. One night she went to use the bathroom at Sasuke's and just as she finished a hole literally blew through the bathroom wall into the guest bedroom with Deidara standing there smiling like a complete idiot covered in soot. Sakura had to run over and put out a flame in his hair because he obviously hadn't noticed it. When she asked him if he was okay and if she needed to get someone all she got in return over and over again was, “Art is a bang, yeah.” Thankfully this flirting thing hadn't been a thing back when she was 14 or 15. Of course now that she was 19 going on 20 in just about two months he had to start it up.

_Not that I really mind_ .

Wait.

_No, I do mind. He's crazy. Focus on unpacking_ .

She left the room to see Kisame lugging in nearly half the van without breaking a sweat. She wished she could say she was surprised but really she wasn't. When she was about 17 her, Sasuke, and Naruto went to Sasuke's backyard to walk about and talk about the happenings of school and happened across Kisame wielding a sword with a blade literally as tall as her like it was a baton. Sakura lingered a bit longer than necessary after Sasuke and Naruto had already started walking off. She liked to say it was nothing more than a curiosity and appreciation for such swordsmanship but in reality it was also a touch of the fact that Kisame seemed to enjoy doing his workouts shirtless and by the  _Gods_ was he built.

“Sakura?” Naruto's voice came to her. 

“What?” She snapped out of her memory and looked around. Kisame was setting things down in her room and Deidara was heading back inside next to Sasuke with more things. 

“Help me grab some more stuff,” Naruto grabbed her hand and dragged her outside. They picked up some more stuff with the help of Tobi and walked back inside. Before they were even half way down the lawn they heard yelling coming from inside.

“That bitch is here _already??!_ I thought I had at least another week in _my_ room!” The voice yelled. Sakura thought she recognized the voice but was really, really hoping she was wrong. There was no way she'd live if she was taking _his_ room.

“Yes, Hidan, Sakura is here. That's why we had you move your shit this morning,” Kisame said while walking back out to probably get the rest of the stuff in the van.

“Fuck you, Kisame!” Hidan appeared in the door way flipping Kisame off.

“No one told me I'd be taking his room,” Sakura said meekly. She could handle Deidara. She could handle Tobi. She could handle almost all of them. Hidan was another breed. Her one and only memory of him was accidentally walking into the wrong room at the mansion and seeing him literally praying at an altar covered in what she _hoped_ was goat's blood that was on top of some black body paint that covered his whole body in a way that left a white skeleton on his body and a skull on his face. Honestly seeing him like this in the sunlight he was much less scary looking. He had very light skin and nearly silver hair that was slicked back and ended just below the crown of his head. At the moment he was clad in nothing but a pair of shorts and his religious necklace that had the symbol of a circle with and upside down triangle in the middle. However to Sakura the most striking and memorable part of Hidan were his almost violently violet eyes. They were the most vivid part of her memory. Those piercing eyes that contrasted the black body paint so strikingly. They just didn't seem to fit this man. Such a calm cool color on such a hotheaded and intense man. Sakura didn't understand how such beautiful eyes could hold such insane stares. One of which was directed straight at her now that she passed Kisame. “Shit.”

“It's okay, Sakura,” Tobi said reassuringly, “Hidan won't hurt you.”

“Thanks,” She said softly. She believed Tobi believed that but she did not trust that she would be totally safe from harm.

“So you're the bitch taking my room?” Hidan said as he passed him.

“Excuse me?” Sakura turned back to Hidan raising her eyebrows. “Just what did you call me?”

“I called you a bitch, bitch,” Hidan smirked when he saw he already pissed the girl off.

“Look Jessie I'm not in the mood so if you'd please shut up before I have to call Walter that would be great,” She said and rolled her eyes. She wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of pissing her off. People like him just loved to get a rise and if she ignored him he should stop.

“Bitch I know you know my name's not Jessie,” Hidan followed after her into the bedroom.

“Holy shit do you not watch Breaking Bad?” Sakura said while putting her things down.

“Yeah obviously not,” Hidan scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Sounds stupid.”

“Actually I'd think a sadist like you would absolutely love it,” Sakura said while she began to unpack the things in her room. “I mean the like, what, second or third episode literally has them dissolve a guy in acid.”

Hidan raised and eyebrow, “Why?”

Sakura shrugged, “They had to dispose of a body somehow.”

Hidan smirked, “Alright then.” He watched her unpack and went back to scowling, “Tch you just wait I'm going to get my room back.”

Sakura sighed, “Look I've just been on a three hour drive with a gassy dork and a nerd who likes books on tape instead of music so please I am not in the mood for this. You guys don't even sleep!!”

“I use my room for things other than sleeping,” Hidan said.

“Yeah like what?” Sakura asked.

“Fondling himself probably,” Deidara said while he and Kisame brought in the last of the stuff.

“Thank you guys so much,” Sakura said smiling, “I can take it all from here.”

“Sakura, do you need any help unpacking?” Naruto asked appearing in the doorway with Sasuke.

“I mean if you all need to go that's fine,” Sakura said.

Sasuke walked past Naruto and nodded to Hidan, “That's the other one.”

Sakura looked at Hidan nodded, “I figured.” She looked at the others, “Seriously thank you so much but I can unpack from here.”

Kisame and Deidara nodded and left with a final, “Welcome home Sakura.”

Hidan continued to stand stubbornly in the middle of the room. Sakura rolled her eyes and turned on some Taylor Swift. Just as she planned Hidan was out before the second verse saying there was no way he was going to stand there and listen to that bullshit and Sakura wins the stupid room for now.

Sakura, Sasuke, and Naruto unpacked all of her stuff and got her settled in within a few hours. 

During this time they lectured her profusely on locking both her doors and probably her windows every single night and you know maybe they should get get her like fingers scanners or something for every single entrance into the room.

“I'm sure I can find one for the air vent,” Naruto had said after some thought.

“Guys, seriously, they don't seem too bad. At least I have Tobi here, right?” Sakura said as she started to unpack her bras.

“We're not worried about Tobi,” Sasuke said. “I honestly don't think Tobi could hurt anyone unless he's hunting.”

“You're worried about Hidan and Deidara,” Sakura said simply. “Look I can handle a few sex jokes from Deidara and as for Hidan you said it yourself Sasuke. I'm a black belt.”

“Yeah but these are vampires after all,” Sasuke finished unpacking her books into the bookshelf.

“Honestly I'm like 110% positive if I scream Tobi will come help me,” Sakura closed the top drawer and started on her pants. She remembered very clearly on both the day that Deidara nearly blew her up and Hidan nearly sacrificed her that Tobi had intervened almost immediately. In the case of Hidan Tobi had been able to swipe her out of there right before Hidan had even realized he'd been interrupted. As for Deidara Tobi had told her to just leave him be and that she should probably get out of there before another explosion went off. To Sakura's complete surprise they hadn't been gone more than a minute before another went off. She credits Tobi with having saved her life at least twice to her knowledge.

“If he's not here, call us,” Sasuke said seriously.

Sakura put down her clothes and smiled at them, “I will okay? But you can't be my keepers forever.”

Naruto walked over and hugged her, “We worry.”

She hugged him back, “I know. And I thank you. But really I'll be okay.”

It wasn't too much longer before they had her completely unpacked. She told them her goodbyes and they were off to return the truck. Luckily for her both of them lived only a ten minute walk or so from her. Another great reason for coming back here. She could finally see her best friends again. She heard her other old friends Ino and Hinata also went here but she supposed she'd see them around if that were the case. She sighed and decided to go get some water from the kitchen. While she was filling her cup she didn't hear the footsteps coming up next to her.

“I hope you're Sakura or this is going to be really awkward,” A voice said from beside her.

Sakura nearly jumped out of her skin but did in fact end up spilling her water all over her shirt, “Hi Sasori.”

Sasori smirked, “Nice to see you.”

“Yeah,” She grabbed a towel, “You too.”

“I just wanted to say, welcome to Akatsuki House,” He gestured his hand to the general living area, “We do hope you feel comfortable here.”

“Thanks,” She put the towel down and decided to just change her shirt. She looked up at Sasori and smiled. “Happy to be here.” She'd forgotten just how… Beautiful Sasori was. He was around her height maybe a bit taller and he had short thick red hair that just barely reached his light brown eyes. Sakura always thought his face looked like it was literally carved out of stone. She swears someone had to have made him. Again she only had one memory of Sasori. She'd seen him in an art room of the mansion molding intricate designs and figures out of clay. He was the first member she'd seen, aside from Itachi, as she'd only been about 12 at the time, and Sasori still looked exactly how she remembered. Though that goes without saying for vampires. She'd wandered into the art room and he'd actually showed her how to use the spinning table to make a simple bowl. It had been a nice afternoon and for a while after that she'd returned to the art room hoping she'd find him again but she hasn't seen him since that day and she had to admit she was sort of happy. Besides Tobi he was the only member that had an all around good first impression.

“You should probably go change,” Sasori said gesturing to her shirt. “You don't to go around wearing a wet shirt here.”

Sakura nodded, “Thanks. Again it was nice to see you.” She ran off to her room and sat down on the bed releasing a long sigh. This was definitely going to be an interesting few months. Though as she went over to her laptop she couldn't help the inkling in the back of her mind that thought maybe she could stand to stay here the whole semester. Maybe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't even believe I've started writing another story. I remember writing this up with my friend, like, five years ago. It's getting a major overhaul though and I'm finally satisfied with how I have this laid out. And I promise the chapters start to get much better later on. Lots of romance and such. Yes yes. I have about a dozen or so chapters already thought up. They're not actually written but they're laid out with how I want this story to go. So yeah. The only thing in the way is me writing the stupid thing.  
> Please leave a review with what you think! And also if you want you can follow me or visit me on my tumblr (ailarii(dot)tumblr(dot)com) where I'll probably update on the status of the chapters and maybe give sneak previews or what have you.


	2. Chapter 2

Over the next week Sakura tried to get used to living with so many people at once. With her previous roommate she always had to remind her to do the dishes, take out the trash, or  _ pick up your week old plate of mashed potatoes you fucking animal _ .

Sakura was happy she didn't encounter these issues here since the boys rarely ate unless they were really craving something. And with so many people the chores got done pretty fast. She never saw the trash overflowing or the sink filled with dishes that she swore were growing hair.

Yet there were still quirks she would need to get used to. For the first few nights the boys didn't remember that they now had someone who actually slept at night. More than once she had to open the door at 2 AM and yell at them to, “Please be quiet, oh my god, I don't care who ate the last  Ding Dong but Walmart is literally open right now just  _ go get more _ .” After awhile she could have sworn that some of them were doing this on purpose. Most of the time it was Hidan and Deidara, the little ass-hats. She would be right on the brink of sleep only to be jolted awake by a sudden scream or other loud noise. Sakura would then open the door to see both of them shamelessly standing there looking like innocent puppies.

“I hate both of you,” She'd grumble and try to go back to sleep. One night instead of opening the door and telling them to shut up she grabbed her two biggest books – a dictionary and a spell book – and chucked them at both of their heads. Thankfully she didn't injure them since they have pretty neat-o regenerative abilities. Not expecting her to retaliate the boys were caught off guard and smacked straight in the face with knowledge. Suffice to say they didn't bug her after that.

Sadly for Sakura this wasn't the only thing she had to deal with during the week before school. On about her second day there she went to take a shower, but didn't realize she hadn't actually locked the door leading to the other bedroom. Once she'd gotten out of the shower and started applying some sweet smelling lotion she heard the door handle jiggle. Sakura paid it no mind because she was sure she locked it correctly.

Unfortunately that door was tricky. She immediately went from relaxed and happy to having her heart nearly jump from her chest as she saw Tobi start to walk into the bathroom.

“Oh shit!” Sakura jumped up and tried to hide behind the shower curtain.

“Sakura!” Tobi screamed and immediately ran the other direction screaming in unison with Sakura. He slammed the door shut and Sakura immediately went to her room and got dressed. When she came out Tobi was on his knees crying in front of her door.

“Tobi's so sorry! We should have told you that door locks weird! Tobi didn't see anything he swears!!” Tobi was almost yelling while waving his hands all over the place.

Sakura sighed and knelt down to give him a hug. He was the only one here that she'd believe had made an actual mistake, “It's fine. I'll be sure to lock the door right. Show me how?”

Tobi jumped up and showed her that to lock it right you have to turn the handle and push down on the locking mechanism at the same time. Sakura committed it to memory. She was just happy it wasn't Hidan that had walked in on her. Later that day when Kisame told him about Tobi's little adventure Hidan almost wrung his neck for telling her how to properly lock the door. Sakura let them do as they pleased. It's not like she was going to get between Hidan and his “prey.” Tobi was a tough kid after all.

Otherwise everything was going pretty well. Sakura had to admit she was excited to start classes. She hated being cooped up like this. On Monday morning she gladly got up and headed off to her first class. Most of them involved learning specifics about witch, vampire, and werewolf anatomy. She had one class all about vampires and another all about werewolves. 

On her way back from her first class someone collided with her from behind.

“Sakura! Holy shit I knew that was you!” The familiar voice came from behind her.

“Ino?” Sakura turned to see her old friend smiling at her. “Holy shit!” She turned around to hug her. “I heard you were going here but I wasn't sure! It's so good to see you!”

“You too!” Ino hugged her back twice as hard. “It's been so long, how have you been?? _Where_ have you been??”

“I had to go to a human college for three semesters,” Sakura said. “But I finally finished so I get to go here now.”

Ino let out a high pitched squeal, “Oh my god this is amazing!! I missed you so much!”

“I missed you too,” Sakura said sincerely. Ino had been her best female friend for most of her life. After high school they'd gotten separated since they went to two completely different schools. Sakura had tried to stay in touch but neither of them were good at long distance friendships.

“Where are you headed to now?” Ino asked.

Sakura looked down at her schedule, “I have about an hour until my next class starts.”

“Perfect!” Ino said and hooked her arm through Sakura's, “We have some serious catching up to do.” Ino hooked her arm through Sakura's and led her to the cafeteria. They got some coffee before sitting down to talk. “So, what was it like living in the human world? Was it weird?”

“It was...” Sakura tried to search for the right words, “Interesting to say the least. Most people there were nice enough but their culture is so much different from ours.”

“Really? How?” Ino asked.

Sakura had forgotten that Ino was actually quite interested in the lives of humans and how they worked. She could swear Ino said something once about going to college to study in a human-related field but she couldn't be sure. “Well for starters you know how here our parents and stuff are only concerned with if you're a witch, vampire, or whatever?” Ino nodded. “Well in the human world it's like that but to the  _ extreme _ .”

“Do they like… Enslave people?” Ino's eyes widened in shock.

“They used to,” Sakura said low, “But I'm serious you can be discriminated for almost anything there. When I went to a local dojo they actually said I'd be weak because I was a girl.”

Ino furrowed her eyebrows together, “Wha…?”

Sakura nodded, “Yeah exactly. They see women as, like, lesser than guys. Like unless you're a specific type of European, a male, and straight you're demonized for some reason.”

Ino just kept the same weird expression on her face, “That's… What?”

Sakura shrugged, “I don't know man. Their society is weird as hell. There's these old people that go around picketing and protesting because they don't want homosexuals to get married.”

Ino shook her head, “They're trying to get it outlawed?”

“No, Ino.” Sakura grabbed her face and looked straight into her eyes, “It's already outlawed. They're protesting to keep it that way.”

Ino slumped in her seat, “And I thought  _ we _ lived in the middle ages.”

“You're telling me,” Sakura let go of Ino's face and sighed. “It was so weird. People were literally thought less of because of their _skin color_.”

“Okay, no, you've got to be kidding around,” Ino shook her head.

“No, like, they even have this society in the USA that's devoted to, like, killing black people.” Sakura flailed around and remembered their "uniform". She started giggling to herself. “They wear these stupid fucking outfits that look like they just pulled blankets off their beds and put them over their heads.” Sakura pulled out her phone, “Here I have to s how you.”

Ino looked over and wrinkled her nose, “Sakura you spelled 'clan' wrong.”

“No,” Sakura looked her in the eyes again. “That's how they spell it for this organization.”

Ino sat down again, “Maybe I should re-think my major.”

Sakura showed her the picture and Ino started laughing too. Sakura put her phone away and shook her head, “Don't re-think it. They're not all bad. There's a lot of really, really nice people too. I actually heard that around when I left people were allowed to marry the same sex. Though, remember, this is all from one country. I have no clue what all the others are like.”

Ino nodded, “Well it'll definitely be an interesting major.”

“You can do it. Just try to look past Hitler and you're good,” Sakura said.

“Who?”

Sakura pursed her lips looking for the right words and eventually shook her head. “Look him up yourself. Talking about him makes me want to cry.”

Ino nodded, “Alright then. Well I've been pretty bored here lately. Nothing's really been going on... Oh yeah!” Ino perked up and smiled, “I have a boyfriend now!”

Sakura smiled, “What? Really? Who?? Is it Kiba? Shikamaru? ...Sai?”

“One of those,” Ino took a sip of her coffee.

Sakura put a finger to her chin and thought about it, “I'm going to go with Sai.”

Ino smiled and nodded, “Yeah he asked me out about a month ago.”

“That's terrific Ino, but I never would have thought you two would be together.”

Ino tilted her head to the side, “Why?”

“He just seems...emotionally constipated,” Sakura said in a blunt tone.

Ino almost spat her sip of coffee while giggling. “He's actually very sweet when we're alone.”

Sakura smiled and put her hand on Ino's, “Good you deserve to be treated well.”

“Thanks,” Ino turned her hand over to squeeze Sakura's. “What about you?” She wiggled her eyebrows, “Any suitors?”

Sakura shook her head. “Ino you know no one's ever asked me out.”

Ino groaned and leaned back in her seat, “No one that you've realized, dummy.” Sakura gave her a confused look and Ino just shook her head. “Sakura whether you admit it or not, you're hot. Okay? Do you even like anyone right now?”

Sakura shook her head, “No not really. I did just get back though.”

Ino nodded, “Yeah I guess that's fair… Let me know if you find anyone though, okay? We need to get you laid ASAP.”

Sakura rolled her eyes, “Ino school is a bit more important than sex.”

Ino put a hand to her chest and gave Sakura an over the top surprised expression. “Sakura Evelyn Haruno!”

“That's not my middle name.”

“Why, I will not sit here and listen to you speak such blasphemy!” Ino sat up straight, picked up her coffee with both hands, and leaned forward. “Anyways I know you don't think that.”

Sakura rolled her eyes, “There just hasn't been anyone that was...” She tried to search for the right words but Ino finished for her.

“That was like Sasuke?” Ino asked.

Sakura couldn't help the hint of a blush that graced her cheeks. “No, anyone that I felt was worth my time.”

Ino smirked, “So basically no one hot enough?”

Sakura smirked herself and tried to hide it by sipping her drink. “Look it's getting late and I should start heading to class.” She stood up and Ino did the same.

“Okay. Hey are you living on campus?”

“Yeah, you?”

“Yeah! I'm in the B dorms on the second floor. Room 12. Where are you?”

Sakura hesitated for a moment and picked up her coffee. “Akatsuki House,” she took a sip of her coffee.

Ino stared at her wide-eyed and Sakura worried Ino was about to drop her books. “You're sitting here saying there's no one hot enough for you to bang when you're literally in a house full of  _ the _ sexiest  _ vampires _ at this school?”

“Ino I'm not going to show up to their house and immediately jump them,” Sakura defended herself.

“But you will eventually??” Ino asked as Sakura started walking away.

“Bye, Ino.”

“Sakura! You will fuck them right??” Ino yelled after her. Sakura gave her a lazy wave in return. “You will fuck every last one of them young lady or so help me!!!” Ino yelled louder after her.

Once she rounded a corner Sakura finally let her cool demeanor go. She started laughing to herself and almost  spilled coffee on her shirt. She had to admit, Ino was right. It was about time for her to get back into the game. Sakura had pined for Sasuke for most of their high school and middle school years. It wasn't until her last year that Sakura finally confessed her feelings for him. He had immediately shot her down. Suffice to say Sakura was more or less done with romance and love for a while. When she was at the human college she told herself to focus only on schoolwork. So that's what she did. It was easy for her since human males just don't compare to that of supernatural ones. The females either. Sakura considered herself mostly straight but she had to admit that even the magical girls here were drop dead gorgeous. Especially the vampires. If vampires were superior in any way it was in the looks department. They could be the biggest douche bags , the most annoying  people ever, or even homicidal. But they all had an aura around them that just screamed, “Sex.”

Sakura supposed that's why she'd been so transfixed on Sasuke throughout her younger years. But what was that Ino had said? No one had asked her out that she  had realized? What was that supposed to mean? She looked down at herself and pursed her lips. She sure as hell was not ashamed of her body in any way. But when you have some of these other women walking around you figure guys don't notice you. Sure because of her physical training she had an attractive body, but when she looked around at her fellow students she couldn't help feeling dwarfed.

These girls came in all shapes and sizes and from all around the world. And they were all drop dead gorgeous. Sakura actually had to force herself not to stare. One girl she nearly ran into almost took her breath away.

“Sorry!” Sakura said side stepping the woman.

She just smiled, “No, I'm sorry. I wasn't watching where I was going.”

They parted ways but Sakura stared after her. She was just a head taller than her and had skin so dark she looked like she was sculpted out of black marble. She had wide hips and an ample chest. Her hair was so full and wild  that Sakura imagined she could get lost in it. When she turned around she was greeted with another woman. This one was about her height with pale skin that was a perfect contrast with her red hot hair. The freckles on her face were just the right accent, and her light blue eyes seemed to pierce right through you.

Sakura sat down in her next class and sighed. She thought back to how she spent so many of her formative years pining after one person who never returned her feelings. She was happy they were good friends now though. But when Sakura thought about it she could see some signs of other guys liking her. She was too blinded by Sasuke to ever notice them. She kicked the leg of her desk and rested her head on her hand. She was 19 years old and had never gone further than kissing with a guy. It wasn't for lack of wanting, though. None of them had been interesting enough for her. For so long Sakura  had  only had eyes for Sasuke. She didn't know if she could be interested in anyone else. 

Then again...

_ Ino is kinda right about the Akatsuki,  _ Sakura thought to herself. Being around them for a week had definitely been doing funny things to her head. They were definitely attractive and, dare she say, sexy. Maybe this was the universe giving her a second shot. Maybe some benevolent God was smiling down and granting her some kind of do over.

Or maybe she just got hella lucky with her dorm arrangements. Either way Sakura thought perhaps she shouldn't squander this opportunity. She was in college after all. Maybe it was time to have some fun.

“Fuck it,” Sakura muttered to herself. Education was important but she knew this was a rare opportunity.

“Let's see how this semester goes.”

~”Wait we're going to spend a whole week learning about a vampire's  _ what?? _ ”~

On Tuesday morning when Sakura was about to head out to her morning class Kisame stopped her.

“Hey, you heading to class?”

Sakura nodded. “Yeah,” She yawned and grabbed one of the granola bars in the pantry. “You?”

“Yeah,” He said, “Must suck to have to sleep.”

“It would suck less if you all would be quiet,” Sakura glared at him jokingly.

Kisame shrugged, “Nighttime is fun.”

“Sleep is fun.”

“When do you have this class again?” Kisame asked as they walked out of the house.

“Um,” Sakura looked at her schedule. “I have this on Tuesdays and Thursdays same time.”

“Sweet,” Kisame smiled, “So I get you all to myself two days a week.”

“Not the whole day,” Sakura said. She squinted trying to look up at him. The sun had just risen but was already blinding her. “Say I know you all can go out in the sun and all, but how exactly does that work?”

“Oh,” Kisame thought for a moment. “You know I'm not sure of all the science behind it but it doesn't end up with us melting or whatever. It used to be we were just weakened by it.”

“But now?”

Kisame shrugged, “I dunno I guess you just get used to it.”

“Hm,” Sakura hummed. “You know there's this super popular book series in the human world all about a vampire love story.”

Kisame raised and eyebrow, “Okay?”

“The vampires in that do something quite interesting when the sun hits them.”

“What? Burst into flames?”

Sakura shook her head, “No, they sparkle. Like a disco ball.”

Kisame stared at her for a moment and started laughing. “That is the stupidest shit I've ever heard. What the hell?”

Sakura shrugged. “I actually read the first book and… The main characters were sort of blah but the side vampires were pretty neat. They had all these special powers. One could read minds, another could see the future, one could control a person's mood...”

Kisame scoffed, “Tch, humans are never satisfied with the basic package.”

“Yeah there's a series about witches and wizards, too. It's actually not so bad,” Sakura recalled.

“Really?”

“The human world loves supernatural concepts to death. I can list at least three TV shows centered around the idea,” Sakura said.

“And yet they still kill us if they find out what we are,” Kisame said.

Sakura nodded, “Yeah...” She remembered her grandmother telling her about the Salem witch trials. The humans were so scared of her kind that they ended up burning their own friends and family alive because they thought they were witches. “Humans are definitely interesting.”

“If you say so,” Kisame said. “You seriously spent a whole year there?”

“A year and a half,” Sakura said.

Kisame paused and looked forward, “Weren't you scared?”

Sakura looked up at him and then forward as well, “Every day.”

**~~**

Sakura's classes over the course of the week seemed like they'd be relatively easy. Two of her classes involved werewolf and vampire anatomy. The two others dealt with working on the fundamentals of healing magic and magical diseases. Sakura was so happy to be back in a magical school. The human classes were all so boring  that  she just wanted to stand up in class and scream, “How do any of you not go insane in this mundane and monotonous society?!” But instead she'd sit there taking her notes and playing with a light crystal in her purse.

By Friday she wasn't exhausted and was still looking forward to the weekend. After she got home she looked around the kitchen for something to eat. She wasn't feeling ramen and decided to whip up something in the oven. She'd been smart enough to buy her own groceries last week when she realized she wasn't getting real food any other way. Their food was the piles and piles of blood bags in the fridge. Sakura wasn't too keen on keeping her chicken next to human blood but decided she couldn't be too picky. At least everything was well sealed. 

She started putting everything into a glass dish to make herself a nice big casserole that would feed her for the next few days. She popped in her headphones and sang along quietly to the music while she got everything ready. When she went to get some spices she realized she was  _ just _ too short to reach the one she wanted. So she tried to jump up to grab it.

Jump.

Miss.

Jump.

Miss.

Jump.

Miss.

Jump.

“What the fuck,?” Sakura was suddenly lifted off the floor and was face to face with her needed spice. She grabbed it and looked down to see Deidara smiling up at her. “Thanks.”

“Not a problem.” He set her down but she noticed his hands lingered a bit longer than necessary on her hips. She shrugged it off. “What are you making?”

“A casserole for myself,” She said while sprinkling the spice over the casserole. “I figure I shouldn't live completely off of ramen or else I'll never leave my bed.”

“Doesn't sound like a bad thing,” Deidara leaned against the counter smirking.

“If I didn't have classes, then yeah, sure I'd love to laze about all day, but this,” she gestured to her torso, “Doesn't happen by lying in bed all day.”

“Well it depends on what you're doing in the bed,” Deidara smirked.

Sakura pointed to the kitchen exit. “ Oh no , I'm not having double entendres while I'm cooking. Either shush or get out.”

Deidara thought about it for a moment and then heaved himself up on the counter, “Fine, fine.”

Sakura smiled, “Thank you very much.” She continued to get everything ready to put into the oven. The silence in the kitchen was starting to make her uncomfortable so she decided to start up a conversation. “So what exactly are you all majoring in?”

“Sasori and I are going for art majors,” Deidara said while idly kicking his legs. “Hidan's doing some kind of religious studies this time and the other three are doing business degrees.”

“This time?” Sakura asked.

“Yeah, we live a hell of a long time. We can get multiple degrees if we so choose,” Deidara said.

Sakura turned to him and raised her eyebrows, “That actually sounds amazing.”

Deidara nodded, “Yeah it is. Especially when you have the money for it.”

“Oh yeah,” Sakura mumbled. The Akatsuki was funded by the richer member's families so it should go without saying that all their tuitions are fully paid. “Lucky assholes.” She put the casserole in the oven and heaved herself up onto the counter opposite of Deidara. “So what sort of art are the two of you into?”

Deidara grinned, “Well Sasori's is sorta boring. My shit's way better.”

“Oh no,” Sakura shook her head and giggled, “Is it blowing things up?”

“Hell yeah,” Deidara leaned forward. “If something's here forever then you can't fully appreciate its beauty. But if it's there for just a second then you have to completely respect and appreciate it. Because the next second it's gone, never coming back.”

“That's a funny opinion coming from someone who's lived a few centuries by now,” Sakura said.

Deidara shrugged. “Yeah well after a few hundred years of the same boring shit I found that things are more interesting if they're fleeting.”

Sakura nodded, “That makes sense. But what does Sasori do?”

“Tch,” Deidara rolled his eyes and sat back against the cabinets, “He sculpts. Creates statues and other things out of material that doesn't wear away. He thinks if something can 'stand the test of time' it's like breathtaking or some shit.”

Sakura laughed, “Well to each their own. I think both are interesting takes on art.”

“Yeah?” Deidara raised his visible eyebrow. “Cool.”

“Ew are you nerds really having a discussion about _art?_ ” Kisame showed up at the window in the kitchen wall and leaned on the counter.

“Shut up, Kisame,” Deidara said halfheartedly. 

“Something smells good,” Kisame ignored Deidara and looked at the oven.

“I'm cooking. If you want to try some you're welcome to it,” Sakura said smiling. 

“Thanks,” Kisame smiled back. “But what exactly is it?”

“Chicken, noodles, some gravy, breaded topping... Just trust me, it's good,” Sakura nodded.

“Alright, I trust you this time,” Kisame said. 

“Well,” Sakura jumped off the counter, “this counter is making my butt numb so I'm gonna sit literally anywhere else.” When she walked out of the kitchen she was immediately greeted with a slap to her rear. She spun around to see Hidan standing there smirking.

“I guess it's not actually that numb,” He said.

Sakura glared, “I'll get you back for that.”

His smirk turned into an  enormous grin, “Please do.”

“Ugh,” She went over to the couch and browsed on her phone while trying to not think how exactly Hidan would like for her to get him back. She scrolled down the screen and let out little giggles every here and there, a few belly laughs, and a simple one syllable “Ha!” once or twice. “Hey, Kisame, what's your zodiac sign?” Sakura turned and looked at Kisame.

“Uh, Pisces, why?” He asked.

Sakura looked at her phone and started laughing so hard she almost threw up, “Oh my god.”

“What?” Kisame gave her a weird look.

Sakura took a deep breath. “I'm reading this stupid thing where it lists the zodiac signs as whatever and this one's, 'The Signs As Shiny Things' and Pisces is fucking Edward Cullen's skin.”

“What the fuck?!” Kisame stood up and threw his hands out, “That's that stupid character from that stupid book you told me about!”

Sakura started laughing all over again and nodded, “I know!”

“And what are you?” Kisame crossed his arms.

Sakura looked down, “Bright lights used for filming.”

“That's boring,” Kisame said.

“Lemme find some others,” She said and scrolled through her phone. “I have some good ones saved on here. Okay here we go, here's a funny one. Deidara what are you?”

“Uh,” He thought for a second, “Taurus?”

“Okay, well you're the wine mom and Kisame and I are the vodka aunts,” Sakura said.

“I can get behind that,” Kisame said.

“Nah man that's bullshit,” Deidara stood up and shook his head. “Lemme see that,” He held out his hand and looked through the phone. “This is bullshit.”

“What is?” Sasori asked when he came out of the bedroom.

“Deidara is a wine mom and he's sad,” Sakura said. “What's Sasori?”

“You're a Scorpio, right?” Deidara asked him.

Sasori nodded, “Yeah, why?”

“We're looking at zodiac things,” Sakura said and grabbed her phone. “Yup, he's a vodka aunt too.”

“Whatever,” Sasori continued on to the kitchen. “Hey there's like five minutes left on this timer,” he called from the window.

“Thanks!” Sakura got up and ran to the kitchen passing Sasori as he came back out with a blood bag. She opened the oven and hummed happily, “Mmm, yeah that smells and looks amazing.” She turned to look out the window, “If any of you want some just let me know.” Five minutes later she was taking the casserole out and putting it on plates. Kisame mentioned he wanted a plate so she scooped out a piece for him. Deidara said he'd take a small one too so she balanced three plates on her arms and set it all down at the dining table.

Kisame dove right the fuck in and said around a huge mouthful, “Damf thish ish prefty goof.”

“Thank you very much,” Sakura said taking bites almost as big as Kisame.

Hidan walked out of his bedroom and looked at the plates, “What the hell is that?”

“Food,” Sakura said.

“Are you _sure_ you didn't just take a shit?” Hidan asked.

Sakura glared at him but did her best to remain calm, “No Hidan, now go away if you don't like how it smells.”

“But I can smell it from the bedroom. It smells like complete ass, Sakura, seriously,” He whined. “I mean how can you possibly pass this off as food? I don't even eat food on a regular basis and...”

Sakura tried tuning him out. She knew he just wanted a rise out of her and would be damned if he got it. She continued to eat, pretending Hidan wasn't there.

“I mean come _on…_ Hey are you listening to me?” Hidan looked down at Sakura and realized she was not in fact hearing anything coming out of his mouth. Well that was her mistake. He promptly walked behind her, bent down so he was next to her face and said, quite loudly, “YOUR FOOD SMELLS LIKE ASS.”

Sakura hadn't noticed Hidan walk over and almost choked when she swallowed. In a moment of rage she picked up her casserole serving and promptly smashed it into his face. “And now your face smells like ass.” 

As the food slid down his face Hidan was able to glare at Sakura. She was greeted once again with maniacal violet eyes that just screamed, “Don't even try to run. I'd like it.”

“You just made a really fucking big mistake,” Hidan grinned and walked over to the kitchen.

“Run,” Deidara mumbled to Sakura. She looked over at him and he was looking at her like a wife waving her husband off to war. “I'm serious.”

Sakura looked at the kitchen and saw Hidan sauntering back over to her twirling the chocolate sauce bottle around his finger by the handle. “I'll give you a head start.”

Her eyes widened and she immediately bolted from the chair and made a b-line for the bathroom – if she was going to get dirty at least let it be in a place that's easy to wash. She jiggled the handle and heard a faint, “Occupied!” from Tobi on the other side. She looked back to see Hidan coming over to her with the cap off the bottle and a – sexy – smirk adorning his face. Sakura was so, so dead. Or at least her clothes were. She looked down and realized, yes, she HAD in fact worn a white shirt today and why the fuck did it have to be the one Naruto had gotten her for her 16th birthday??

Sakura was not about to let Hidan ruin such a precious item. She ran straight ahead making him falter just long enough to let her run past him and burst into the other bathroom. She immediately locked the door behind her and ran to lock Deidara and Sasori's door. But she was too slow getting to Itachi and Kisame's. Right as she left the previous door Hidan burst in. Sakura honestly contemplated taking her shirt off at this point. She moved out of the way of a sudden chocolate squirt and jumped behind the shower curtain.

“Sakura,” Hidan said slowly from the other side of the curtain, “You know that's not going to stop me.”

Sakura took the shower head out of its holder and knelt down so she was next to the nozzle with the shower head pointed up. Right when Hidan pulled back the shower curtain she smirked, “No but this might.”

“Are you serious? A one liner?” Hidan drooped his shoulders, “I thought you were way fucking cooler than that.”

Sakura glared at him and immediately turned the shower head, spraying him in the face, “I'm cooler than you, ass face!”

“Oh that's it.” Hidan put a hand in front of his face while he pointed the chocolate straight at Sakura and squeezed as hard as he could. “Fucking shit.”

Sakura screamed when the chocolate collided with her precious shirt and turned the water to freezing. “This was a present, you ass!”

Hidan shoved the shower head out of the way and squeezed more of the sauce on top of her head, “Yeah and that water is fucking cold!”

“You shouldn't have called my food ass! Or slapped mine!” Sakura pushed away so she was at the other end of the tub laying on her back and Hidan took the chance to get on top of her and trap her.

“You shouldn't have cooked assy food, or have such a fine ass!” He pinned her free hand down with his own and continued his chocolate onslaught. Sakura continued to fire cold water up at Hidan which unfortunately ended up coming right back down on her. 

“Fucking tits that is so _cold_!!!” She said and dropped the shower head. She snatched the chocolate from Hidan's grasp, pointed at his face, and squeezed. “Take that you fucker!”

“Ah, shit!” Hidan fell back and Sakura took her own opportunity to get on top and trap him while she showered him with sticky chocolate. Naturally she didn't get to dirty any of his shirts because he wasn't wearing one. Sakura was convinced he didn't even have any but she definitely made sure to get it in his hair. She only got about half way through before the bottle farted and ceased to release chocolate.

She stared at the bottle with an expression of annoyance. “You've got to be fucking kidding me.” She sighed and put the bottle down and realized the shower head was still going. She reached over Hidan to turn it off, “Well I guess that's a draw.”

“Nah I'm pretty sure I won,” Hidan said.

“How do you figure?” Sakura asked leaning back.

Hidan smirked and Sakura saw his hands come up to rest on her thighs. “Well this position for one, and two,” he nodded up to her shirt.

Sakura looked down and realized her white shirt – now stained with chocolate – still had enough white space to allow Hidan a nice view of her chest. She was just happy she was wearing a bra. She took his hands in hers and moved them while she got up. “Hope you enjoyed the show, now that's gonna be fifty bucks.”

“Fuck that,” Hidan got up as well and smirked at his handiwork. She was covered in chocolate. It was not only on her shirt but in her hair, on her face, literally covering her whole upper body. “You look stupid.”

“Speak for yourself.” Sakura pointed at the mirror and Hidan realized that not only had she gotten the sauce all through his hair but she'd also spiked it up in the most ridiculous of ways.

“Shit,” Hidan said looking at the mirror.

“We should get washed off,” Sakura said walking towards their bathroom. She immediately realized the dilemma here. “Uh, did you wanna take this one or…?”

“We could always share,” He said smugly.

“Okay so I'll take ours and you take that one, perfect.” Sakura said as she raced towards their bathroom. Unfortunately she was racing a vampire and should have known she wouldn't get far. With a slammed door in her face she sat on the floor against the wall while Hidan took the longest shower in the history of showers.

“Sakura?” Kisame asked from the dining table.

She looked up at him, “Yeah?”

“The casserole was good at least,” He grinned.

Sakura couldn't help but smile, “Thanks.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter was pretty much in the works when I posted the first one. Hence the oh so speedy update. There's not much romance and such in this chapter but that's kinda to be expected. We'll get there, don't worry.  
> Definitely let me know what you guys thought of this one. I personally was laughing like a nerd during most of it.  
> For the time being chapters may be updated quickly, but I warn you, that may not be the case through this entire story. However seeing that people enjoy this gives me a lot of motivation.  
> Next chapter is already in the works so that might come out soon too. I'm still working on getting some things perfect.  
> See you all next time!


	3. Chapter 3

“He did _what_ to your shirt??” Naruto asked while smushing his face up to his web cam.

“He sprayed chocolate over the entire thing,” Sakura grabbed the shirt from her laundry bin and held it up to the computer screen. “I've washed it three times now. Most of the stains faded but I can't seem to get it clean.”

Naruto threw his hands up in the air and got out of his chair to start pacing around his room, “I'm going to kill him!”

Sakura found his concern adorable but ultimately unnecessary. The shirt itself had been so big on her that it was primarily used for Pjs and lounge wear. Still, she was sad that she failed to save the garment.

“Naruto,” Sasuke groaned from the other video window, “Would you shut up? I'm wearing headphones.”

“Screw that,” Naruto sat back down at his desk. “Sakura you _need_ to get him back for this.”

“I'd love to but I doubt he has any shirts,” Sakura rolled her eyes.

Naruto shook his head, “No, no. You don't have to do exactly what he did. There are other ways,” He sat back in his chair and put a hand to his chin. 

“Other than that, how is everything?” Sasuke asked.

“Not bad. Everyone's been really nice so far. Oh, did I tell you all I saw Ino the other day?”

Sasuke shook his head, “No. I forgot she went here.”

“Yeah, her and Hinata both do,” Naruto said.

“And apparently Sai, too,” Sakura said more so to herself.

“Sai?” Sasuke asked. “Who?”

Sakura gave Sasuke a confused look, “Sai? The guy that transferred to our school around the end of 11th grade?”

“The really pale one?” Sasuke asked.

Sakura nodded, “Yeah, him. Ino said she's dating him.”

Naruto laughed, “That's kind of weird, but whatever I guess.”

“Yeah, she says he's good to her so whatever I suppose,” Sakura shrugged.

Naruto suddenly yelled out, “I have an amazing idea!” He stood up and ran to his kitchen and was gone for no more than a minute. When he came back he was holding a large bottle of maple syrup.

“What's that for?” Sakura asked.

Naruto grinned, “You're going to get Hidan back. When's his next class?”

“Um,” Sakura paused to think. “I have no idea. Let me go ask someone.”

“Wait! Make sure they know not to tell Hidan you asked,” Naruto called after.

“Got it!” Sakura called as she opened her door. “I'll be right back!” She looked at who was in the living room. Hidan, Sasori, and Tobi. She walked over to them, “Hey is Deidara here?”

“No,” Sasori said without looking up.

“Kisame?”

“Yeah.”

“Thanks.” Sakura walked over to Kisame and Itachi's door and knocked.

“Come in,” Kisame called from inside.

Sakura walked in and closed the door behind her. “Kisame, I need to ask you a question.”

He turned from his desk, “What would that be?”

“Do you know when Hidan's next class is?”

He raised an eyebrow, “Depends.”

Sakura sighed and crossed her arms. “If I tell you then I'd have to kill you.”

Kisame grinned, “Technically I'm already dead.”

“Come on, please?” Sakura pouted.

“Nope, not until you tell me why you need to know.”

She stomped her foot. “Ugh, fine. I'm in cahoots with Naruto to get Hidan back for ruining my shirt.”

“Oh, cool. Yeah his next class is tomorrow at, like, nine in the morning.”

Sakura smiled, “Thank you so much! Remember please don't tell him I asked.”

“No problem,” Kisame turned back to his homework and Sakura returned to her computer very pleased at how easy that was.

“Okay so tomorrow at nine in the morning,” she told the boys.

“Perfect.” Naruto got up and grabbed his car keys. “Sakura I'm coming by to get you. Teme, do you want to join us?”

Sasuke thought for a moment but shook his head, “No I need to finish some work.”

“Okay, we'll tell you how it goes. Sakura get ready, I'll be there in five.” Naruto ended his side of the call.

“You better be prepared for the war you're starting.” Sasuke told Sakura.

“Pft,” Sakura shrugged, “It's a harmless prank. It'll be fine.”

Sakura didn't realize that this was Hidan she was messing with. Not only did Hidan hate losing but he could never turn down a challenge. But she'd find this out the hard way. That evening Naruto and Sakura visited four different stores before they finally found a balloon big enough for Naruto's plan. They had to visit another three to get the rest of the materials. Sakura had to put her foot down when he explained in detail what would be happening.

“There is no way in hell I'm letting you drop a balloon full of maple syrup and water on my roommate without having a tarp underneath the drop zone.” She'd said very adamantly.

“But he'll totally know something's up when he sees the tarp!” Naruto had retaliated.

“He won't even see the tarp until it's too late,” Sakura argued. “By the time he sees the tarp and wonders why it's there he'll already have a huge face full of sticky.”

“That's hot,” Naruto laughed.

Sakura whacked his arm lightly, “Seriously. Tarp or no prank.”

“Ugh,” Naruto let out a loud groan, “Fine! But if that's the case we're getting the biggest balloon we can find.”

“Deal.” Sakura nodded.

They'd decided to store everything at Naruto's place overnight so they wouldn't arouse any suspicion. That night Sakura could almost stand the noise coming from outside her door. She was so excited to get Hidan back.

The night of her shirt's death she'd thought he was being a huge ass by taking so long in the shower. She soon realized it was in fact an acceptable amount of time to wash chocolate sauce out of your hair. Sakura had taken just as long as Hidan to fully scrub and rinse the sticky liquid from her head. At one point she considered lopping off all her hair just so she wouldn't have to bother with the effort. Thankfully that's when she started seeing less and less brown going down the drain. Even so, Sakura could still swear her hair smells like chocolate.

Sakura woke up the next day when her alarm went off on her phone. She shut it off quickly to make sure no one else heard. It was 8:30 and Hidan should be leaving soon. Sakura quietly watched out her front window. When she saw Hidan walk outside she kept an eye on him until he was out of sight. She then called Naruto and told him the coast was clear. Five minutes later his car was driving up to the house. She let him in and they went straight for Hidan and Tobi's room.

“What are you two doing?” Itachi asked behind them.

They stopped just before entering the bedroom. Sakura turned around and gave Itachi her biggest, saddest puppy dog eyes. “Hidan completely ruined a very precious item of mine and we want to get him back. We promise we won't make a permanent mess!”

Naruto shook around the tarp he was holding, “That's what this is for.”

Itachi looked down at their supplies, “Make sure you let Tobi know.”

“Of course we will. Tobi doesn't deserve a face full of sticky.” Sakura said and knocked on the door. When she explained to Tobi what they'd be doing he gladly offered his help. For the next hour the three of them set up the semi-elaborate prank. When Hidan walked through the main door it would cause the shelf underneath the balloon to drop out and allow a perfect strike. They tested with spare balloons and water to make sure everything was set. Once they got it perfect Tobi said Hidan should be home any minute now and they should get going.

“Yeah, I have a class that starts in...” Sakura looked up and cursed. “Shit!! It starts in literally ten minutes!” She ran into her room and gathered her supplies. “I'm never going to get there in time!”

“Tobi can help!” Tobi said running into her room.

“How?” Sakura put her backpack on and ran over to Tobi.

He turned around and squatted down, “Get on!”

“Tobi that's perfect!” Sakura said and jumped up on Tobi's back. “Naruto, I'm sorry but I really need to be there on time. I'll see you later okay?”

Naruto smiled, “It's fine, Sakura. I'll text you later!”

“Onward!” Sakura pointed forward and Tobi was out of there like a bullet. Sakura wondered why she'd never thought of getting to class by Tobi before now. It would get her another half hour of sleep every morning that's for sure. She arrived a whole five minutes early and hugged Tobi as tight as she could. “Thank you so much!!”

“Not a problem,” Tobi smiled and hugged her back just as tight. “But you should probably not come home right after class.”

“Yeah, you're right. Let me know how it goes though.”

“Of course! I'll text you once it happens.” Tobi smiled and started jogging back home. “See you later.”

Sakura waved after him. She spent her whole class thinking about how Hidan would react. Halfway through the hour she got a text from Tobi.

“ _Hidan is maaaaaaad!!! It exploded EVERYWHERE Sakura! I waited in the room and got a video too. Hidan doesn't know that though. I'll show you later! He's showering right now but shouldn't be coming out anytime soon._

“ _You might want to stay out until all your classes are done. Also be careful when you come home. Hidan was already talking about getting you back._

“ _Have a good rest of your day!!! Huggss!!”_

“Oh sweet lord,” Sakura muttered to herself. Tobi had gotten a video? She needed to see this ASAP. But he was right. She shouldn't come home just yet. If she waited until after all her classes were done then Hidan would have calmed down enough to not kill her. At least if he was planning on fucking her over at home she was safe walking to and from her classes today.

Right?

Once her class let out Sakura couldn't help feeling a bit paranoid that Hidan would come pelt her with balloons full of mustard in addition to whatever he had planned for her at home. She sighed and decided to go the library to kill time. She had an hour until her next class and she might as well work on the homework she just got. Right after she sat down she saw the chair being pulled out on her right.

“Oh god don't kill me, I won't be able to get an extension on this!!” She waved her hands in front of her face and looked over to see Itachi staring down at her with a worried look.

“Sakura, I'm not going to kill you.” He said quietly and sat down next to her. “I'm guessing your prank was a success?”

Sakura rubbed the back of her head embarrassed. “Yeah, sorry about that. I thought Hidan would try something here.”

Itachi shook his head. “Be careful with all this. Hidan plays dirty.”

“He started it all,” Sakura mumbled. “But, come on. Tobi got a video of what happened. You can't say you're not interested in seeing Hidan flip the fuck out?”

Itachi smiled just a little bit. “When are you going back home?”

“Around three.”

“Ah, I'll still be in class then.”

“Psh,” Sakura rolled her eyes. “I'll be fine. Unless he's rigged something above my bed to decapitate me.”

“Well...” Itachi trailed off and smirked lightly when he saw Sakura's face go pale. “I'm joking. Hidan is violent but he knows when to hold back.”

Sakura put a hand over her heart. “Jesus, man, you're gonna kill me.”

“Later,” he said, still smirking.

“What's this?” Sakura mock gasped, “Itachi Uchiha has a sense of humor?”

“Shocking, I know. But I assure you, you'll get used to it.”

“Can't wait,” she smiled. The two spent the next hour talking and Sakura kept asking him questions about her vampire anatomy class. She figured why open up a text book and search if she could just ask. Itachi was intelligent and was able to help her out with the easier questions on the worksheet. Soon she had to pack up and head off to her next class. She felt a lot less paranoid walking around school but couldn't help the growing panic about finally heading home.

Itachi said Hidan played dirty. What the hell would he have planned? What if he put caterpillars in her bed? Or glitter in her hair dryer? That may end up being a fire hazard. By the end of her last class she had concocted half a dozen scenarios and each was worse than the last. When she finally started walking up the steps she took a deep breath.

“Come on, Sakura,” she said to herself. “You got yourself into this. Take it like a woman.” She nodded to herself and flung open the front door. She walked in to see Hidan sitting on the couch. He looked up when he heard the door open. Seeing it was Sakura a wicked smile formed on his lips and Sakura could feel her soul leave her body. “Oh shit,” she breathed out the courage she'd built up.

Now, Sakura was a prideful woman. Even if she was literally shitting her pants right now there was no way she'd let him know. Taking in another deep breath she squared her shoulders, kicked the door shut behind her, and walked further into the living space. Hidan stood up from his seat and sauntered over to her. The fact that she had absolutely no idea what he was thinking behind that smirk made her nervous.

Sakura was only half a foot shorter than Hidan but he was still an intimidating person. Especially when he gave her that look. It did funny things to her stomach that she didn't think were all attributed to fear. It didn't help matters that he had once again forgone a shirt. She noticed little beads of water on the tips of his hair and scattered over his chest. If he'd  _ just _ gotten out of the shower then he really must be pissed. Sakura tried to swallow but was finding it rather difficult. On instinct her legs began to move her back towards the front door and away from the man grinning like a maniac in front of her. When he stepped forward she'd step back. She did her best to avoid looking him straight in the eye because the moment she did she'd lose all her composure and end up groveling and he would not get that satisfaction.

Her back finally hit the door. She had no where to go and Hidan continued advancing into her comfort zone. Soon his face took up the majority of her field of view and she was forced to look him straight in the eye. He placed one of his hands on the wall next to her head and Sakura knew she was trapped. 

“You fucked up, you know that?” He asked her in a smug tone.

Sakura took a deep breath before speaking. “In my defense you did destroy one of my favorite shirts.”

Hidan could see how agitated Sakura was even with the slightest hint of a blush on her face and smirked, “Well, now that you've retaliated I only have one thing to say.”

“And what's that?”

“Game on, bitch. You're gonna regret getting into a war with me.”

Sakura raised her eyebrows for a split second before returning Hidan's smirk. If it was war Hidan wanted, then he was going to get it. She stood up on her tip toes and looked him straight in the eye. She was so close their noses almost brushed.

“Bring it bitch.”

~”A prank war? With Hidan?” “Yeah? What of it?” “It was nice knowing you Sakura. We'll give you a proper funeral”~

One day into their war Sakura realized why everyone was calling her a complete idiot. Because she was. Two days into this war and she's ready to surrender. Lucky for her Deidara was Hidan's last prank war victim and wanted some revenge. Sakura was oh so grateful for the help but felt like she was soon going to be losing. Every time she pulled a prank Hidan had to go and one up her.

After her encounter with Hidan two days ago she had gone to her room. Right as she walked in she felt a tarp underneath her feet and tried to jump back but it was too late. A huge balloon fell on her head covering her from head to toe in maple syrup and other various condiments as well.

“Is that fucking chocolate syrup too?!” She turned and yelled at Hidan. He just smirked and motioned for her to look up. When she did she saw a huge bag of something white falling forward. She covered her face expecting milk or flour but was greeted with tickling sensations all over her. The bag was full of feathers. “HIDAN!” She yelled. Once she'd looked up at him she saw a flash go off.

“Perfect,” he said looking at his phone. “That's definitely my new wallpaper.”

“Agh!” She screamed and slammed the door shut. She stood there in a rage and realized she'd have to clean all of this up, but when she looked down saw that only a few stray feathers had made it off of the tarp. She sighed and yelled at the door, “Thanks for the tarp fuckface.”

The next day she'd cast a spell his door so when he'd open it an air horn sound would blare. But true to his nature Hidan one uped her by rigging not only her bedroom but also the bathroom to blare air horn noises.

Sakura would hit her snooze button. Air horn.

She'd open the bathroom door. Air horn.

Open the medicine cabinet. Air horn.

Open the shower curtain. Air horn.

Sit down to take a shit. Air horn.

Open her dresser. Air horn.

Open her laptop. Air horn.

Open her closet. Air horn.

She'd go to the damn kitchen and find that anything she'd directly use was rigged. Deidara had helped her remove most of the horns but there were still some they hadn't found – or Hidan kept replacing – and they kept going off whenever she did specific activities.

She knew she had to step up her game. She was a witch for fuck's sake and a damn good one. That night after Deidara had helped her get rid of, hopefully, all the air horns, she schemed. This all started because he said her food smelled like ass. There had to be a way to get him back for that. She went over to her bookshelf and pulled out her spell book and was greeted with yet another air horn. She sighed and opened it up to the charms section.

Charms for plants. Charms for chores. Charms for clothing. Charms for personal appearance. Ah ha! Charms for food. She scanned through them for only a minute before she found the perfect one. She could make specific items – most often food – taste like anything. This was usually used to spice up dinner but Sakura had much better plans. The next day when Hidan left for his class she went to the fridge and took out some of his specific bags of blood and put them on the counter. Drinking out of the enchanted bags would alter the user's taste buds for 24 hours and everything they ate would literally taste like ass. All except things either cooked by Sakura or given a counter enchantment. Sakura started to cackle as she began to charm the bags.

“What are you doing?”

“Oh shit!” Sakura jumped back and looked up to see Sasori staring at her like she'd grown a third eye. She put a hand on her chest. “Sasori, bro, I nearly died. Y'all gotta stop trying to kill me.”

“My bad,” he looked down at the bags of blood on the counter. “Why are you laughing like a crazy old witch over the B bags?”

“Because Hidan's preferred flavor is B?” Sakura offered up. “And I was not laughing like a crazy old witch.”

“Yeah you were,” Sasori smirked and leaned against the counter. “Just how they do in those stupid plays. But seriously what are you doing to Hidan's blood?”

“Enchanting it,” she said and walked forward to continue.

“To do what?”

She looked up at him smirking oh so smugly, “He shouldn't say my food smells like ass.”

Sasori couldn't help but let out a quick chuckle. “Be careful. He might actually put shit in your butter.”

Sakura looked up at Sasori with wide eyes. “Wait really?”

Sasori shrugged, “Maybe.”

She looked back at the blood bags and nodded, “Worth it.”

“Don't come crying to me when you find shit at the bottom of your cereal,” he walked around the counter to the fridge. “Just don't fuck with the AB, okay? Or you're going to have a lot of angry vampires after you.”

“Not if you all like my cooking.”

Sasori grabbed an AB bag and popped it open. “What do you mean?”

“Well, everything will taste like ass to him except my food or whatever blood he asks me nicely to counter charm.”

Sasori paused in his sip and lowered the bag. “You're quite clever.”

Sakura smiled, “Thank you.” She spent another few minutes reciting the spell and then put the bags back into the fridge. “He's the only one that drinks B, right?”

Sasori nodded, “Yeah I believe so.”

“Good. I don't want to fuck over anyone else.” Sakura was glad that it was about time to head out. She did not want to be here when Hidan finally got home. She knew he'd be irate to say the least.

Lo and behold when Sakura got home from her classes for that day she was immediately tackled by a profoundly pissed off Hidan. She hadn't expected him to be this pissed off and had to try to not laugh.

“What. Did. You. Do.” He ground out pinning her arms to her side and holding her legs down by straddling her thighs.

Sakura tried to squirm but found it was no use. She sighed and looked up at him. “I charmed your blood.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Hidan said pushing his face right up to hers. “All I can taste is shit.”

Sakura bit the inside of her cheek to keep from giggling. “First off, I find it funny that you were able to identify the precise flavor. Second,” she pushed her own face forward far enough to press her forehead to his, “Don't say my cooking smells like ass.”

“How long?” He said in a strained voice. “How long am I going to taste ass?”

Sakura shrugged and laid her head back down on the ground. “Who knows? An hour? A day? A year? Whenever I feel like releasing you from your own personal hell? Could be whenever.” She should have told him the truth but damn if she wasn't enjoying this.

“I fucking swear you _will_ be the next sacrifice,” Hidan said.

“Well if you're going to be a dick then maybe I won't help you out.” She turned her head to the side and sighed.

“What's that supposed to fucking mean?” Hidan asked and raised his head.

She looked back up at him and was pleased to see he'd backed off a bit. “Well, all that's going on is that I confused your taste buds with a charm. If you want to eat without tasting shit then all you need is a counter charm. Which I could easily whip up in either my cooking or I could counter charm a blood bag of your choosing if you ask nicely.”

Hidan sat up while still pinning her legs and arms. He shook his head and laughed, “You're a sneaky bitch.”

Sakura sat up and smiled. “I know. Now say my food isn't ass and maybe I'll give you some blood.”

At this Hidan's mouth twisted into a devilish smirk. He lowered his head so his lips hovered next to her ear and whispered, “Now, Sakura, you should know not to tempt me.”

Sakura couldn't help the shiver that ran down her spine when she felt his lips brush her ear and his breath fan her neck. She rolled her eyes. “Hidan, you know that's not what I meant.”

“You didn't specify where the blood was coming from,” he leaned closer and she could feel something sharp graze over the area her carotid artery was now quickly pulsing.

“You know I meant the stupid bags in the stupid fridge,” she squirmed underneath him but Hidan was persistent. She knew he was trying to get back at her by fucking with her head.

“Yeah but this is way more fun.” He knew he had to try harder if he was going to crack her, though he surely didn't mind continuing his teasing. No matter who he was picking on it was always interesting to see how long it took before they lost it. He knew she was getting close to that point and got a devious idea.

Sakura jumped and almost screamed when she felt his tongue replace the fangs that had previously been poking at her. “Hidan! What the hell?!”

He laughed and lifted his head to whisper in her ear again, “I'm going to enjoy tasting you.”

At that Sakura was most certainly done. She felt the heat nearly explode in her face. Adrenaline ran through her veins and she ripped her hands from his grip. She pushed against his chest and kicked her legs so she slid backwards and out from under him. “You – I don't even – what the  _ fuck _ Hidan??”

“You liked it.”

“Tch,” Sakura stood up and walked over to the fridge. “That's it, I'm re-enchanting these.”

“What do you mean?” Hidan followed her into the kitchen.

“After that little stunt, yeah, no, you're screwed. At first I only had a few of these rigged so you'd experience this for a day but fuck it. You're gonna get to play Russian Roulette with your food. One of your B bags are going to be rigged so that if you drink from it you will taste ass all day every day until you get on your knees and beg me to fix it.”

“What the fuck??” Hidan grabbed Sakura by her waist and threw her over his shoulders. “Nope, no way in fucking hell am I letting you do that.”

“Where are you taking me??” Sakura said kicking her legs against his chest. “I swear to god if you don't put me down I _will_ fart in your face.”

Hidan took her to her bedroom where he plopped her down on her bed. “If you change one of those bitches like you said then I swear to god I will find the wettest, nastiest werewolf shit and hide it not only somewhere in your room but somewhere in one of your stupid spices or something.”

Sakura crossed her arms and pouted. “Fine, but you still have to ask me nicely to get a decent meal for the next twenty four hours.”

Hidan groaned and put his hands on his face. He pulled them down slowly and sighed, “Fine. Your food didn't smell like ass. I was fucking with you. Happy?”

“There's not going to be any phrasing of the words, 'I'm sorry,' in that apology, is there?” Sakura asked.

“Fuck no,” Hidan crossed his arms.

“Fine,” Sakura stood on her bed and bent down. “Open your mouth.” Hidan opened up and she put a counter charm on his tongue to cancel out the previous one. “There. Happy?”

“Very.” With that he walked out of the room. Sakura sat down on her bed and groaned. She rubbed her fists into her eyes trying to clear her mind of any ways Hidan would be able to taste her.

It wasn't working.

* * *

Later that night Sakura was in her room laying on her bed with Deidara sitting next to her. They were trying to figure what to do to prank Hidan next but got sidetracked and Sakura was telling Deidara about how Hidan reacted to the last prank.

“Yeah, he does that,” Deidara said when she told him about how he'd gotten all up in her space. “Most of the time the people he does it to crack like you did.”

Sakura laughed, “Most of the time? What about some of the time?”

Deidara smirked, “I think you can guess.”

Sakura rolled her eyes, “Whatever works I guess.”

“Sounds like it almost worked on you,” Deidara continued smirking. Sakura hit him in the head with a pillow. “Ow.”

“Yeah, I was oh so close to banging him in front of the door. Totally,” Sakura said.

“Sounds like fun.”

“Can we get back on topic? And can you please give me back my pillow?” She reached forward to try and snag the pillow back but Deidara held it just out of her reach. “Deeiiidaarrrraaaaa.” She whined.

“Come get it,” Deidara moved to the foot of her bed and held it over the edge.

“Don't drop him!” She scrambled forward but when she lunged for the pillow Deidara pulled it back and pushed himself up towards the head of the bed. He put the pillow on the mattress and sat on top of it. 

“Do not fart or I will kill you!” Sakura called out. Since he was up against her headboard she couldn't get behind him and thus began pulling on his hands. “I swear to god you are all too strong for your own goods!”

“Come on Sakura I'm not even breaking a sweat here,” Deidara mocked.

Ultimately she gave up and scooted up so she was sitting next to him. “Move your big butt.” She laid down next to him and stared at the ceiling. “Now how can we really fuck with Hidan? I was hoping to make him suffer for about a day with the shit thing but that didn't work out...”

“You need something he can't seduce you into fixing.”

Sakura went to whack his arm but he caught her wrist. “He didn't seduce me. He threatened to put poop in my room and food.”

“Either way it needs to be something he can't fix in any way but letting it fade.” The two sat in silence thinking of what the hell they could do to really get under Hidan's skin. 

After a minute Sakura felt something tickling her wrist and looked down to see Deidara still had it in his grasp. He was rubbing small circles on her inner wrist with this thumb while he thought. Sakura shrugged inwardly. “What does Hidan love more than anything?”

“His necklace?”

Sakura shook his head, “Nah, that's an obsessive kind of love. That's definitely off limits.”

Deidara let out a laugh through his nose, “His hair.”

“Really?” Sakura looked up at him.

He nodded, “Yeah, totally. We could fuck with that.”

“Oh I know!” Sakura sat up. “Earlier when I was looking for the poop charm I saw something about hair color. What if we dyed it an insane color? Temporarily of course.”

“Like pink?” Deidara asked.

“No,” Sakura stuck her tongue out at him. “Like… Green?”

Deidara nodded, “Yeah, but how would we do it?”

“That's easy.” Sakura pulled her hand from Deidara's grasp and took out her spell book. “I can just enchant his shampoo to turn his hair green. I mean sure we could use hair dye but that might make the rest of him green too if he's in the shower without any kind of skin protection.”

Deidara chuckled to himself, “Green dick.”

“Hidan is not the hulk,” Sakura said flipping through her book. “Ah! There we go. This one will allow you to turn your hair the color of your choice for whatever length of time you'd like, up to six months.”

“I doubt we'll need that long. What about four days? Just until the weekend.”

Sakura nodded. “Yeah that sounds good. Let me see here...” She read over the charm and put her book back. She got up and went to the bathroom. “I'll be right back. This shouldn't take more than a second.” When she opened the door she found Tobi desperately brushing his teeth. “Oh! Sorry Tobi! I didn't realize you were here.”

Tobi turned to Sakura and looked near tears. “Make it stop Sakura. Tobi's brushed 4 times now and everything still tastes like butts.”

Sakura choked on a laugh, “Oh my god! Tobi did you drink one of the B bags??” He nodded frantically. “Oh my god, I'm so sorry.” She ran over to him. “Please, open your mouth. I'm so sorry that was a prank meant for Hidan. I didn't think anyone else drank B blood. Sasori said no one else did.”

“Tobi sometimes gets in the mood for it,” Tobi said and opened up his mouth for Sakura.

She cast the same charm she did earlier on Hidan and hugged Tobi, “I am so sorry. I didn't mean to make you suffer through that.” She pulled back. “Forgive me?”

Tobi nodded happily, “Of course!”

“Okay,” She turned to the shower and picked up Hidan's shampoo. “And, Tobi?”

“Yes?”

“Don't use this shampoo under any circumstances, okay?”

Tobi nodded, “Okay!” Sakura put the charm on the shampoo and when she was done Tobi was holding up his phone. “Did you want to see the video?”

“Oh, shit, right,” Sakura slapped a hand to her forehead. “I totally forgot you recorded something! Yeah, come in here.” She walked back into the bedroom. “Tobi's going to show us the video he got of Hidan when he got the syrup all over him.”

“Sweet,” Deidara scooted so that he was sitting with his legs hanging off the bed. Tobi sat between him and Sakura and hit play.

There were a few seconds of nothing. When the door handle turned they all held their breath. Hidan walked in and had about the same reaction Sakura did.

“What the fuck is this tarp doing here?” He asked Tobi. Not two seconds later did the balloon fall and cover him in a gloriously shiny coat. “What the _FUCK_?!” He shook his hands to get the syrup off of them. “Sakura I fucking swear to Jashin – shut the fuck up Tobi. Fuck!” Tobi was laughing and the background while Hidan pushed the syrup down his arms and onto the tarp. “What the literal fuck?? It's everywhere oh my fucking Jashin.” He tried to scoop it off of his chest and plop it on the tarp but was failing. “Oh she's dead. She's fucking _dead_.” He groaned and walked to the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. Sakura could hear Tobi giggling like a dork and Hidan still yelling from the bathroom.

“He mad.” Sakura said.

“That was amazing. Tobi, send this to me.” Deidara said.

“Okay,” Tobi said and sent both him and Sakura the video.

“We need to get a picture of him with the green hair.” Sakura said. “I need as much shit on him as I can get.” She laid down on her bed with her legs still hanging off. “I need to make sure he doesn't send that picture to anyone.”

“What picture?” Deidara asked.

Sakura shot up and looked around innocently. “Picture? Did I say picture? No, I said… Um… Fic...ture…?”

Deidara grinned and stood up. “Sorry Sakura, I need to see this.”

“No, wait,” she tried to stop him but he was too fast for her. “I'm turning his hair green next.”

Tobi patted Sakura's arm, “Don't worry. You look more scary than funny in the picture.”

Sakura groaned. “As long as he doesn't send that to anyone outside of this house I'm good.” She yawned and looked at the clock. It was getting late. “You guys are so lucky you don't have to sleep.”

“Yeah,” Tobi smiled and kicked his legs over the edge of the bed. “It's nice. Homework gets done really fast.”

“Then go do some,” Sakura whacked him with a pillow. “I need to sleep.”

Tobi got up, giggling. “Okay! Good night Sakura!” He skipped out of her room and closed the door.

Sakura went over to both of her doors and locked them. If Hidan was still planning on putting poop in her room she could at least try to keep him from coming in. 

Despite her efforts no locked doors would stop Hidan the next morning when he got out of the shower. The first thing he noticed when he looked at his reflection was that his normally silver hair was now a bright neon green.

“Are you fucking _kidding me?!_ ” Hidan yelled and went straight for Sakura's door.

How he managed to get in was anyone's guess. Sakura knew she locked both doors but was still awoken by a pissed and crazed Hidan hovering over her, dripping water.

“What the fuck?!” Sakura screamed and kicked Hidan clear off of her bed. This time she knew he'd just come out of the shower because he was so pissed he didn't even bother with pants and just decided to torment her in a towel. “Hidan why are you in my room?! And why are you naked?!”

“Because you turned my fucking hair green bitch!!! _Green!_ ” He pointed up at his head. “What the fuck?!”

Sakura couldn't help her laugh this time, “It'll be gone in a few days, don't worry.”

“You fucking… You're going to get it, I hope you know that.”

Sakura put up her hands waving them towards her in a 'come get some' gesture and said, “Again, bring it, bitch.”

“Gladly.” He grinned and left through her main doorway.

“Hidan, what the fuck?” Sakura heard Sasori's voice from the living room. “How many times have I told you to wear pants outside of your room?” Sakura heard Sasori say.

Hidan fipped him off. “I have a fucking towel on. Anyways it's not my fault.”

“How the hell is it not your fault?”

Hidan pointed into Sakura's room, “Ask her.” He walked into his room and shut the door.

Sasori appeared in her doorway and leaned against the frame. “Sakura? Why was Hidan leaving your room mostly naked?”

She rubbed her eyes and looked at the clock. “Ugh. He made me reverse the stupid poop tongue so I wanted to make him experience something that I couldn't just switch back for him So he wakes me up at 7am to yell at me because I turned his hair green. I even locked my doors!”

“Hidan can pick locks,” Sasori said.

“Great.” Sakura got up and stretched. “Whatever. I'm up now.”

“In that case, good morning,” Sasori said and then went back to what he was already doing.

Sakura started to get ready and decided to go for a run since she was already up. It was the perfect time of day for it. She spent the next hour running until her legs ached and then walked around enjoying the silence of the morning. When she got home it was almost 8. She knew she needed a shower badly and hoped right in, closing her eyes and enjoying the warmth on her tired muscles.

She let her mind wander but it kept coming back to, “Keep your guard up for the next few days. Who knows what Hidan has planned now.” She sighed and tried to push it from her mind so she could just enjoy a few minutes of relaxation. She shampooed and conditioned her hair in peace but when she started rinsing the body soap off she looked down and screamed. The soap was leaving a rich green hint to her skin when it was rinsed off. She tried scrubbing her skin as hard as possible but the green remained on her skin.

“HIDAN!!” She yelled and turned off the shower. 

“Is something wrong?” She heard him call from in his room.

“You mother _fucker!_ ” She yelled and went to her room to dry off. She slammed her door and leaned her back against it. “He is so fucking dead.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter did take a bit longer than expected, but I reward patience with a long-as-fuck chapter. I just couldn't get anything right and ended up adding way more than necessary. Think of this as two chapters in one. I can't guarantee all chapters will be this long but I'll most certainly try. 
> 
> Thank you for reading :D


	4. Chapter 4

“I will kill him,” Sakura repeated over and over while looking at her reflection in the mirror. “I will kill him. He is dead.” Not only was her body covered in the rich green color but so was her face. From head to toe she looked like a cucumber. “I look like fucking Shrek,” she said while trying to rub the green off of her neck. “Why didn't I dye his hair something like blue? Then I could at least say I was doing something stupid with Kisame. Nope. Green. On a witch.”

She sighed and turned away from the mirror to head for her closet. How much of pop culture did this school keep up with? When Sakura had made a joke about the Hulk yesterday Deidara didn't seem like he either got the joke or heard her. She threw open her closet and looked for anything with long sleeves and even a turtleneck. There was no way anyone would see this. She could already hear all the jokes.

Her arms were in the sleeves of a black sweater and she was about to pull it over her head when she paused. “Actually...” She took the sweater off and sat on her bed. This wasn't high school and she didn't need to hide herself from the world when someone turned her skin green for a few days. Everyone here was an adult and she knew if she walked out there and acted like everything was normal people would get their quick chuckle and then leave her be. She got up and threw on a pretty white blouse and jeans. 

She swung her bedroom door open and saw Hidan leaning against his own door waiting for her to come out. He lost it when he saw her.

“Oh my fucking god, it's so much better than I thought it would be!” He almost wailed with laughter while he clutched his stomach.

Sakura rolled her eyes and went to the kitchen to get food. Sasori and Kisame were in there talking and sipping on some blood bags. When they saw her Sasori started choking on his bag while Kisame sprayed his mouthful all over the sink.

“Hey! Careful!” Sakura pointed to her shirt, “White and blood doesn't really mix, you know.”

“Why the hell are you green?!” Kisame bellowed while holding the counter for support.

Sasori coughed and tried to take deep breaths. “Is that why you screamed at Hidan earlier?”

Sakura crossed her arms. “I turned Hidan's hair green so he decided to get me back by turning my everything green.”

“Everything you say?” Kisame asked.

“Yes.” Sakura stared up at him with a straight face. “Literally everything. It's weird.”

“You fucking deserve it,” Hidan said from behind her.

She turned around and glared at him. “At least you could just put on some makeup and then, boom, you're the Joker. Everyone likes the Joker.”

“And all you need to do is put on a witch hat.” Hidan's smile was so wide it almost reached his ears. “I gotta say, green was the perfect fucking color, seriously.”

“You look like a pastel Fiona,” Sasori mused.

“At least that makes me a pretty ogre,” Sakura said. She went to the pantry for cereal and the fridge for milk. She had to squeeze between Kisame and Sasori to get to the fridge and groaned. “Okay this kitchen is literally tiny as fuck. If you're not making food, would you kindly leave?” She stared at the two for a few moments and sighed. “Fine. Don't move. Get green on you, whatever.”

With the three guys and Sakura in the kitchen there was not a lot of space to move around. There were counters up against both sides of the kitchen. One set had the kitchen window over them looking at the living space while the other side was right up against the wall. The only entryway to the kitchen was opposite of where the pantry and fridge were located.

Sakura got a bowl out of the cupboard and poured her cereal. She had to shimmy between Sasori and Kisame again to get out to eat. She scowled and went around to sit at the counter while she ate.

“So,” she asked between bites, “How long?”

“Same as me.” Hidan said.

“Lovely.”

“At least you and Kisame have something in common now.” Sasori said.

Kisame shoved him with his elbow. “Screw you.”

Sasori put his hands up and laughed. “It's true though.”

“You just wait,” Sakura pointed her spoon at Hidan. “I'm gonna get you back for this.”

“Sakura??” Deidara said from somewhere behind her. “Holy fucking shit.”

She groaned and turned around. “Yeah. Hi.”

Deidara couldn't hold back his laughter when he saw her green face. “Oh my god.” He put a hand on the wall to steady himself and tried to cover his mouth with the other. “Shit, even after we made sure not to turn  _ him _ green.”

“We?” Hidan walked to the counter and eyed Deidara through the kitchen window. “What the fuck do you mean by 'we'?”

Something about Hidan's sudden change of tone only made Deidara laugh harder. He couldn't form a coherent reply so Sakura answered for him, “Deidara's been helping me figure out what to do to get you back.”

“What the fuck??” Hidan threw his hands out and gestured towards Deidara. “So, what, you get to tag team and I'm left flying solo? Seriously?”

“I'm pretty sure you're still winning.” Sakura said. “Your hair is green. My _ass_ is green. My face is green. Bitch my fucking _boobs_ are green. Do you have any idea how fucking weird green nipples are??” She leaned forward to put her bowl in the sink that was between her and Hidan.

“Well, I mean, if you'd like to share with the class.” Kisame said.

“I'm pretty sure you can just Google green nipples.” Sakura got up from her seat and headed to her room. Just as the door was shutting she knew she heard Hidan say the words, “Green,” and, “Pussy”. Groaning she grabbed her bag and decided to head out to class early. At least in public people wouldn't be quite so blunt. When she walked back out all four boys were arguing over which color would be the worst for skin. So far purple seemed to be winning. She rolled her eyes and headed out down the road.

“Sakura, wait up,” Sasori called from behind her.

She turned around and waited. “Hey, do you have class today or something?”

“Sorta,” he said. “My project group are meeting in the library.”

“Oh, okay,” she said.

“Did you tell Tobi not to use the shower?” Sasori asked.

“Shit,” Sakura smacked her forehead. “I don't even know what exactly Hidan used to do this. It was either the shower head or my soap or something.” She flipped her phone opened and texted Tobi. “I'll just tell him not to shower until I get home to test just what made this happen.”

“What are you going to do to get him back?” Sasori asked.

“I have no idea,” she said. “I'll have to come up with something soon.”

“Let me know if you need any help,” Sasori said.

“Yeah?” She looked over at him. “Thanks. Keeping up with Hidan's creativity is definitely not a one-person kind of job. So what's your group project on?”

“It's kind of boring.”

“Oh come on,” Sakura begged. “Tell me.”

“Well, as a group we're supposed to make an abstract 3D piece based on a randomly picked emotion. There's other things we're supposed to be doing, but that's the gist of it.”

“Cool,” Sakura said. “Remember when I found you in that art room at the Uchiha mansion?”

Sasori nodded, “Yeah. You were a lot smaller.”

“Growing up is a bitch,” Sakura said. “But it was interesting, seeing you I mean. I was sad when you didn't come back.”

“Really?” He raised an eyebrow slightly.

“Yeah,” Sakura nodded, “It was fun. Making the bowls and vases. I tried doing it myself but it kept collapsing in on itself and it was never even. The whole thing was a fiasco.” They were entering the main campus now and Sakura could hear people whispering around her. She did her best to ignore them while talking to Sasori.

“I could show you how to do it again, if you'd like.”

Sakura gasped and looked at Sasori wide-eyed. “Really?”

“Sure. We have a wheel at home and the art department isn't going to miss a bit of clay.”

Sakura smiled. “Thank you, yes. That would be fantastic!” She gave him a quick hug to emphasize her thanks.

Sasori let himself smile while he hugged her back. When they pulled apart his smile continued, but was smaller. “We can start whenever you'd like.”

“How about this weekend?”

He nodded. “That sounds good.”

“Oh,” Sakura looked up at the building behind Sasori. “We almost passed the library.”

Sasori looked behind him and shrugged. “Your building is only a little bit further. I can double back.”

Sakura eyed him and pursed her lips. “Sasori. Are you walking me to my class because I'm green?”

Sasori laughed. “What, you think I'm here to protect you from bullies?” 

Sakura's lips stayed pursed and she nodded. People were now outright pointing and talking loudly about her new skin color. She heard the already-used Shrek and witch jokes but was pleased to hear some people being a bit more creative.

“Should she be going to class? I mean, look at her, she's so sick she turned green!”

“God, I hate when people dress like that. You like weed, we get it. Shut up already.”

“I didn't know Poison Ivy went here.”

“No, that's totally She-Hulk, are you blind?”

“Beast Girl?”

“Bro, look at that chick, she looks like fucking spinach.”

Sasori shook his head. “No, I'm not walking you to class because I'm worried about people teasing you. You aren't the type of person who needs protection from something like that.”

“Then why?” Sakura asked.

He shrugged. “I like talking to you.”

“Oh,” Sakura said, feeling sort of stupid. “Okay then.”

“Saa-kuu-raa!” Sakura heard someone yell from ahead. She looked up to see Ino sprinting towards her. “What the literal _fuck_ happened to your skin?!”

Sakura waved her hand dismissively. “It's a long story.”

“Hidan's an ass,” Sasori said.

Sakura pointed at Sasori nodding. “Okay, yeah, that.”

Ino looked at Sasori. “So you're one of Sakura's roommates? Sasori is it?”

He nodded. “Yes.”

“Well, I'm Ino, Sakura's best friend for eternity,” Ino said and then glanced over to Sakura. She put a hand in front of her mouth so that only Sakura could see her mouth, “Fuckable.”

“Okay,” Sakura pushed Ino forward. “Time to go.” She grabbed Ino's hand and waved back at Sasori. “Sorry, but Ino's having some tampon issues. I'll talk to you later!”

Sasori raised both his eyebrows but laughed as he watched them walk away. Even with the green skin he could tell something Ino was saying was causing Sakura to blush. He turned around and headed straight home.

“Ino, what the literal fuck?”

“Honey I swear to god if they're all half as hot as Sasori then I don't know how you do it.” Ino shook her head. “I mean seriously you've gotta have like a fourteen inch friend in your nightstand if you can control yourself around them.”

“Or self control.” Sakura said.

“A fuckton. Now,” Ino poked Sakura's cheek. “What the hell is going on here? Are you trying to be funny or what?”

“Hidan and I got into this huge prank war and I turned his hair green. He retaliated with this.”

“Wow.” Ino looked her up and down while laughing softly. “Is like...everything green?”

“Yeah,” Sakura said. “While green nipples are really weird, green vaginas are a trip. It got in every nook and cranny.”

“That's hot.” Ino said.

“I swear Hidan is going to get it.”

“Your hulk-gina?”

Sakura snorted. “Can you imagine having that? Ride that dick so hard it falls off. Literally.”

Ino sputtered and tried to take deep breaths. “Yeah like when you finally cum your vagina does that thing where it like clamps down but it literally crushes their dick.”

“Sex of a lifetime. Seriously though Hidan's dead. I don't know exactly what I'm going to do, but it's going to be good.”

“Use that taste spell. Make him taste nothing but, like, pennies for a week.”

Sakura shook her head. “I already did that. I made him taste shit but he...” she cleared her throat. “He persuaded me to change his tongue back.”

“How did he persuade you?” Ino leaned in close smirking.

Sakura rolled her eyes. “In the end he threatened to put werewolf shit in my room somewhere. That's a pretty good reason to reverse a charm.” She decided Ino did not need to know what he'd tried first. To Sakura's credit the werewolf poop was the deciding factor. Fear was a lot more persuasive.

“That would be funny,” Ino said. She put her hands up defensively when Sakura glared at her. “I mean if it happened to someone else. You know if it happened to you we'd destroy him.”

“Thanks Ino,” Sakura smiled. The two of them walked to Ino's building and Ino told her about a new spellbook she bought that was great for anyone living on their own. It had everything from recipes to spells to fix basics on a car. When they got to Ino's building they sat outside talking for a bit longer about their classes and how school was going in general.

“My roommate is so annoying,” Ino was leaning against a wall with her arms crossed. “She stays up until midnight or later blasting music out of her headphones. I can hear every single lyric and when I tell her to turn it down she just gives me a pissed off look. She doesn't even reply.”

“What a bitch,” Sakura said. “Maybe when the new dorms are built you can try to get a transfer?”

“I was thinking of doing that. Might even get lucky and have a room all to myself.”

“One can dream.”

Ino looked down at her watch and jumped forward. “Shit! My class is about to start! Sorry, Sakura, I gotta get going.” She ran off before Sakura could say anything.

Sakura looked down at her own watch to see that she only had five minutes until her own class started. “Shit!” She threw her head back and started to sprint. When she got to her building the elevator doors had just closed so she hauled ass up the stairs and started running down the hallways.

Just as she turned a corner she heard the elevator door beep but didn't have time to stop herself before she ran headfirst into someone. The both of them crashed to the ground and her shoulder hit the tile straight on. She couldn't help the pained, “Fuck!” that she let out. She rolled off of whoever she'd ran into and rubbed her shoulder. “Shit, I'm so sorry, man.”

“Miss Haruno. Pleasure to see you.” Sakura heard a woman's voice from above her. She looked up to see Tsunade, one of the Headmasters, staring down at her with mild amusement. 

“Yes,” the voice beside her said in a sarcastic tone. “Always a joy.”

Sakura looked down to see she'd run headlong into the second Headmaster, Orochimaru. “Fuck.” She said again and immediately covered her mouth. “Shit, no wait, dangit, I'm sorry!” She got up and leaned over to help Orochimaru but he swatted her hand away.

“What's wrong with your skin, girl?” Orochimaru asked.

“A-Ah, well...” Sakura tried to speak but found her throat constricting with each syllable. Orochimaru was one of the only vampires that had ever scared her. He's supposed to have been around long enough to see the plague, the Roman empire, Greek empire, and was even rumored to be around when the pyramids were built. That last one hasn't been confirmed, but because of his age Orochimaru was powerful and wise. For all that his age also meant he was around when his people had damned hers amongst others almost a millennium ago.

“Leave the poor girl alone,” Tsunade said. “She's in college for shit's sake.”

Sakura had to bite her cheek to keep from laughing at the expression on Orochimaru's face.

“They shouldn't be running in the halls,” he said looking from Tsunade to Sakura. “No self control,” he muttered to himself.

Tsunade rolled her eyes. “Yes, yes, young ones are lacking manners and witches are lose cannons. Please, we need to get to this meeting. I don't have time for this. Jiraiya said there's an issue with the holding cells.” She looked to Sakura. “I assume you have a class to get to?”

“Ah!” Sakura nodded quickly. “Yes. Please have a good day, Headmasters.” She didn't wait for them to reply before running off. Tsunade was an intimidating witch, but fair to all. She was a few centuries younger than Orochimaru but just as powerful. Sakura admired her and had been ecstatic to attend this college when she found out Tsunade was the wizard representative. 

Sakura was panting when she finally arrived at her classroom. When she walked in she looked around to see that the teacher was no where in sight. Confused, Sakura looked down at her phone and then up to the clock on the wall. “Right time… Oh.” Sakura smacked herself in the face, groaning.

“Forgot you had Kakashi today?” A fellow student asked from behind her.

Sakura turned around to see a girl also panting. “Yeah,” she nodded. “You?”

The girl nodded. “Yeah.” Sakura didn't feel so bad since she wasn't the only one who forgot their teacher had a nasty habit of constantly being late to class. The girl stood up and looked over Sakura. “You had a rough morning.”

Sakura shrugged and walked to her seat. “It's not easy being green.”

* * *

By the end of the day Sakura was sick of the color green. She was sick of jokes about the color green. She was sick of the repeated Shrek and Hulk and Kermit jokes. That night she was going to burn every single green thing she owned. Maybe she'll even ask Itachi to help her gouge out her eyeballs. That sounds like a perfectly sane way to never deal with this heinous color. God willing she will go through the rest of her life free from the anguish this color has wrought her.

She wanted revenge and Ino was happy to help out. Together they plotted and decided as a sort of placeholder prank they'd offer him a “peace” cake that would end up exploding in his face when Sakura triggered it. The two of them spent the afternoon at the grocery store finding the perfect one to make for Hidan and then another for the two of them to enjoy later. They ended up with a your basic yellow cake and chocolate frosting for Hidan. For them they got a pink funfetti cake with purple frosting. Sakura was excited for both of them.

Luckily for them the kitchen and living room were bare when they got there. Ino was vocally upset at the fact that there weren't any rebellious flags or symbolism in the Akatsuki's home. Sakura told her that these guys weren't some hardened gang bent on sticking it to the man and crippling the establishment.

An hour after they got home two cakes stood on the counter looking delectable. The purple was set aside in the fridge while the chocolate one was brought into Sakura's room to cast the spell. When Sakura willed it, the cake would explode straight up into Hidan's face so as to create maximum mess on Hidan and minimum mess everywhere else.

Once done they took it back to the kitchen and waited for him to either come out of his room or come home. They had only waited half an hour before he walked through the front door.

“Hidan!” Sakura jumped up from the couch and walked over to him. “Hey, we made you a cake.” She pointed to the counter smiling.

Hidan just looked at her like she was an idiot. “You really expect me to eat anything you made after what you did to my damn tongue?”

“Oh come on,” she pouted. “I swear this isn't going to screw with your taste buds or your bowels or anything.”

He raised his eyebrow and looked back at Ino who smiled along with Sakura. Crossing his arms he nodded his head over to the cake, “You try it first.”

“Fine,” Sakura cut herself a piece and took a nice big bite. “Happy?”

“Yeah that works,” he said and went to cut his own piece. Once he got close enough Sakura waved her hand and the cake exploded with a loud _pop!_ Hidan looked over at Sakura with a blank expression and said, “Is that seriously all you've got?” And then went to the bathroom to wash his face.

Sakura's shoulders slumped. Ino came over and patted her back. “Don't worry. We'll get him. Even if hulk-ginas are necessary.”

Sakura couldn't help the laugh that escaped through her nose.

* * *

Sakura had never been so happy to be walking home on a Friday. The green color was considerably lighter but still noticeable. Once home she plopped herself at her desk and stayed glued to her laptop screen for the better part of the afternoon and evening. At this point people were exhausting to deal with and having some alone time was definitely necessary. She only left her room to pee or get some food which consisted primarily of egg-less cookie dough and Cheetos. Not at the same time, of course. Sakura did consider it but decided that she was far too sober for that experiment. Eventually she checked the time at the bottom of her computer screen. It was midnight already and Sakura rubbed her eyes.

“I guess I should head to bed,” she said to herself. She shut down her laptop and got into bed. After half an hour of tossing and turning she was about ready to say screw it and just stay up until she dropped. Knowing this wasn't the best idea she forced herself to remain in bed for another half hour but still she couldn't settle. She sat up straight and groaned. “Fuck it, this isn't happening.” She threw the blankets off of her. Okay, she can't sleep, but the computer didn't seem too enticing right now. Maybe something good would be on TV?

She got up and walked out to the living room and was surprised when no one else was out there. All the lights were off in the living room and kitchen but Sakura did see some light coming from under bedroom doors. The guys must have all been in their rooms. She shrugged and went to find the remote and then sit on the couch. 

The couch itself was so comfortable Sakura thought she may just fall asleep on here. Leaning back she turned on the TV and scrolled through the guide to find something to watch. Against her better judgment she decided that a scary movie would be a terrific choice tonight. It had such good reviews, why not give it a try?

Half an hour into the movie Sakura was partially hiding behind a couch pillow. She cursed herself for not turning on the living room light before she started watching this but it was too late now. Something about scary movies made her not want to get up or move at all. It didn't help that the movie revolved around some demonic child that killed children.

After another half hour the movie was starting to reach it's climax. Sakura had taken a blanket and all the pillows and made a fort to hide in. The human child had been running around the large home for ten minutes now hearing the demon calling to it. The human was screaming and crying while running faster and faster through the halls. The music kept getting louder and more sporadic as the child became less and less sane. At times the music made her think something was moving next to her or a door was being opened. Because of this she was starting to get paranoid and jumpy. For every corner the child turned the movie made you think the demon would finally be waiting but alas every time the child was met with nothing but darkness.

The child screamed one last time for it's mother and the demon suddenly appeared in front of him and its face took up the whole screen. At the same time Sakura heard the front door slam open and crash against the wall. She screamed and jumped out of her fort turning around to a horrifying sight. 

With the light of the TV shining on them Sakura saw her roommates walking in with their mouths, chins, and chests covered in bright red. Even in the dim light Sakura could tell their canines had extended, especially in Kisame's case. His mouth looked like nothing but teeth. Hidan and him looked almost soaked in blood. The rest of them were covered in varying amounts of it.

Her instincts were screaming at her to run in any direction she could. She managed to control herself by just walking backwards at a slow pace away from them. The scream she'd let out caused all of them to direct their attention at her. Some seemed, for just a moment, to look at her like she was their newest mark. Having six terrifying vampires staring at you after having just fed was an unnerving feeling. One that Sakura did not want to continue. 

“I'm sorry!” Was all she could manage to get out as she began running towards her room. In the dark she didn't notice how close the end table was and caught her foot on it. Right as her face was about to slam into the floor she felt a pair of arms around her. When she turned around to look up at Itachi's red eyes staring down at her all she could said was, “You're...warm.”

She had touched vampires before. Whether it be giving Sasuke a friendly hug or wrestling with an Akatsuki member for a pillow or the chocolate sauce bottle. Each time she did they were cool to the touch. It wasn't ice cold but more so as if they'd just gotten out of a cold shower.

“That tends to happen after replenishing,” Itachi said. He stood her up straight and backed away. “Are you alright?”

Sakura forced herself to smile and wave her hands in front of her face. “I'm fine! Really! You all just startled me.” It wasn't a total lie. “I-I mean… Just… I didn't realize you all still… Uh...”

“Fed on humans?” Sasori asked for her.

She nodded. “Well, yeah… I mean you all have a bunch of blood in the fridge so why not keep using that?”

“It's boring,” Hidan said.

“What Hidan means,” Kisame pushed him aside and shot him a warning look. “Is cold blood is just as good as fresh blood in the end. It doesn't matter how long we stored it, if it separated, or whatever. We get what we need from it, but we are still vampires at the end of the day.”

“Hunting is something we as a, well, a 'culture' I guess you could say, need to do,” Sasori said.

“In the end it keeps us from going insane,” Deidara said. “It's really the only shitty part of the whole vampire deal. We get in these weird moods where we just need to hunt a live human.”

“So,” Sakura squinted and couldn't help a shiver that ran up her back. “Every now and then you just need to kill someone?”

“Never!” Tobi said in an offended tone. He waved his hands around wildly. “We never kill! No, instead of going to one or two people and killing them we just go to lots of people and only take a little bit. Me and Itachi also change their short term memory so they don't remember us.”

“Then what's up with all...” Sakura motioned to Tobi's blood-covered body.

“Blood is messy,” Itachi said and shrugged.

“If it's bad enough we haul them off to a hospital,” Deidara said.

“Don't you know how much human hospitals charge?” Sakura crossed her arms.

“Oh my Jashin she'll never be satisfied,” Hidan groaned. “I'm gonna go wash this shit off, you all have fun.” He walked off to the bathroom.

“We pay for it,” Itachi said.

“Oh,” Sakura said. She chewed and licked her lips awkwardly and shrugged. “Okay, no more questions.” She turned and headed towards her room. “Well, goodnight all!” Before any of them could say anything she closed herself in her room. She sat down on her bed and had to grab the sheets with a near white-knuckle grip to stop her hands from shaking.

Witches have always been a species that could be gruesome and threatening if they wanted but that didn't happen a lot. Most witches used their powers for, well, pretty things. To create and bring out the beauty in people and nature. The worst thing Sakura could ever remember a witch she knew doing was when her mother made a bug explode in their house because she didn't want to kill it with a shoe. Witches could be awful and deadly and paralyzingly terrifying, but they had the opportunity to be the opposite.

Sakura never seemed to remember that vampires and werewolves didn't have this privilege. Their species by nature were horrendous, but that didn't mean the person had to act as such all the time. Naruto was a perfect example of this. He was one of the sweetest and most loving people Sakura had ever met. He would do anything for his friends and always make sure everyone was smiling. But every month during that full moon he turned into a ravenous creature that would easily break her if he was given the chance.

Except the Akatsuki weren't werewolves. Vampires didn't have one night out of the month that they could lose control and kill you. They were at peak power all day every day. It was true that like witches they could choose to be kind and loving to everyone, but at the end of the day they were all still the creature of the night. The perfect predator.

Sakura didn't believe that was a reason to avoid them, though. She'd been here almost three weeks now and this was the only time any of them had frightened her.

Yes, she had to admit she was scared of them right now. There was something about the look they had in their eyes before they fully noticed her presence. A few of them had even taken a second to remember she wasn't next on their list. Hidan in particular had given her a predatory look that made her stomach drop out to the floor.

“Ugh,” she rubbed her eyes and laid back on the bed. She had to remind herself that they would never hurt her. They hadn't even hurt the humans they fed on. Well, not permanently. They might be vampires, and they may have strong instincts, but they still had some shred of sense. At least it was enough to let her sleep at night.

She couldn't help but see why the elders still wanted segregation between the three species. It was like rock, paper, scissors with them. Just because you could take on one kind doesn't mean you can take on the others. Hell, some witches could take on both vampires and werewolves but were done in by their own kind. The same was true for the other two species.

“If we can all kill each other equally, why can't we just live equally?” Sakura asked out loud. The main reason the Akatsuki were intimidating was because there were so many of them. Sakura was confident that with more training she could go one-on-one with a vampire and come out alive.

She rolled over on her stomach shoved her face into the pillow. “This is too much deep thought for two in the morning.” She turned her head to the side and saw that it was actually closer to three now. Just how long had she been sitting in her room thinking? Before she could try to sleep again there was a quiet knock at her door. She got up to open it and saw Deidara standing in her doorway. “Hey.”

“Hey,” he gave her a smile. “Mind if I come in for a second?”

“Uh, sure,” she opened the door further and let him walk in. “What's up?”

“I, uh,” he paused and turned around to look at her. “I just wanted to see if you were alright.”

“Oh, yeah, I'm fine,” she returned his smile and closed the door.

“Then why haven't you gone to sleep?”

Sakura crossed her arms and looked at the ground. “Probably because of the stupid cookie dough.”

“You sure you're okay?” Deidara asked in serious tone that surprised Sakura. She looked up at him and walked over to her bed to sit down. He sat down next to her hesitantly and waited for her to reply.

“I have nothing against vampires, but you all know that,” she started. “It's just… I forgot how deadly you all are. Between all of the pranks and craziness here I just forgot that you guys are built for killing.”

“Yeah,” he said. “But at least most of us aren't how we used to be.”

Sakura pulled her legs up onto the bed and wrapped her arms around them. “I'm not gonna lie, sometimes looking at Kisame's teeth makes me wanna piss myself.”

Deidara laughed and shook his head. “You definitely don't have to worry about him.”

“I know,” Sakura said defiantly. “If I was scared of you guys I would have demanded a new room assignment the day I found out I'd be staying here. Especially after that little stunt Hidan pulled the other day.”

“If we're being honest here, I'm surprised he didn't take the chance,” Deidara said in a low tone.

“Why?”

“It's on his bucket list or something to drink a witch's blood.” Deidara rolled his eyes. “Kinda stupid if you ask me.”

Sakura shoved him playfully. “What, do I taste like rotten eggs?”

“No,” Deidara shoved her back. “It's the fact that most witches would kill him if he tried.”

“True,” Sakura said. “My mom once put a vampire in the hospital for trying to cut her arm. What's up with that anyways?”

“You guys apparently taste amazing or something,” he shrugged. “I've heard rumors that witch's blood is so good that after you get a taste you can't ever go back to human blood. On the other hand I've also heard it tastes so bad that you won't be able to drink blood for a week.”

Sakura couldn't help the nose laugh that came out. “So I'm either a gift from God or Satan’s butt hole?”

“Pretty much,” he said.

“Hasn't anyone tried drinking witch blood?”

“Yeah, that's where the ideas came from. Dunno why they're two extremes, though. Could have just been altered when passed down to newer vampires.”

“Hm,” Sakura hummed and scooted up on her bed so she was laying with her head on the pillow. “Deidara, how old are you?”

“Rude,” he said while mimicking her movements and laying next to her on the other pillow.

“Oh come on, I want to know what kinds of things you've seen.”

“Well it hasn't been much. I'm about a decade away from two hundred.”

“Damn,” Sakura whispered. “Was Lincoln a good president?”

Deidara laughed and nodded. “Yeah he was cool. Hella tall, though. Like, goddamn man, you did not need that extra top hat.”

“You've gotta tell me about some of that stuff later,” Sakura said and rolled over to look at him. “The other day you said you guys could get multiple degrees. Have you gotten other ones before now?”

He shook his head. “No, none of us really have. This school only opened a few decades ago and before that we never thought it'd be necessary since we were in the Akatsuki.”

“What do you guys even do? Like, Ino was expecting propaganda and resistance flags all over the place when she came over the other day.”

He laughed again and propped himself up so he was half sitting against the headrest. “Well, honestly Madara, Pein, and Konan are the ones with the big master plans for equality and peace. We're all here as helping hands more or less.”

“You guys don't believe in equality?” Sakura furrowed her brows and sat up, too.

“No, no, we do. We aren't only here for money. Well, Kakuzu probably is… But the rest of us do agree with the idea of peace between everyone.”

“Oh, good,” Sakura said. Her eyelids were starting to get heavy and she had to shake her head to stay alert.

“Tired or something?” He teased her.

“Shut up,” she nudged him. “Watch one day I'll come up with a spell so I'll never have to sleep again. Then it'll be my turn to bug you guys forever.”

“Can't wait,” Deidara said. Sakura moved so she was lying down on the bed again. “You want me to head out?”

She shook her head. “Nah, keep talking. Tell me about what it was like living in the 19th century.”

He smiled and laid down as well. “Alright, well… First thing's first, shitting in a hole everyone shared was hell. Not only did it smell but after a while you had to bury it and go dig another shit hole yourself. I only had to do this for the first few decades of my life but it was nasty as fuck and if I'm thankful for anything it's plumbing. I had also never thought water could get so clear. You have no idea how much better it tastes...”

Sakura listened to him talk until her eyes slid closed and she fell asleep. His voice was soothing and perfect for fighting off the sleeplessness. She made a mental note before slipping away to ask the other members about their lives in the past as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so when I initially wrote this chapter the thing was, like, 10,000 words because I was an idiot and added stupid filler stuff that didn't really need to be in here. This is another 6,000 and some change. I dunno how I'm cranking out such long chapters but hey whatever I'll take it.
> 
> I was re-watching some Akatsuki arcs from the show to get a better feel for how these guys act and in my binging I found out that there was apparently a video game that showed how (spoiler? kinda? idk how far y'all are) it showed how Pein and Obito formed the Akatsuki. Like gathering all the people up. I forgot Hidan was the newest member lmao I had always thought it was Deidara just cause he's so young. Weird, bruh.
> 
> Please be sure to review and let me know how you all are liking how this is going. Rest assured, the romance is coming, and a lot faster than expected. In my outline this was supposed to be like chapter seven. So, soon, lovelies. Just stick with me a bit longer!
> 
> Side note: reading through my notes for this story is making me laugh like an idiot. Snorts and everything.
> 
> I love all of your faces and I'll see you next chapter!


	5. Chapter 5

Sakura awoke the next morning to the smell of pancakes and bacon. She rubbed her eyes and looked at the clock to see it was nine in the morning. Not being one to sleep the day away she threw her covers off of her and stretched. It felt like Deidara had just been talking to her a few minutes ago. She didn't even remember falling asleep.

The blood soaked vampires, now those she remembered.

“Whatever,” Sakura told herself. “What's done is done and I don't need to worry about anymore scares this weekend.” She nodded to herself and remembered the savory smell that had woken her up. She opened the door and walked to the kitchen.

Itachi was standing in front of the stove flipping pancakes while Sasori transferred already-made ones onto a plate. He walked to the dining table and saw Sakura standing in her doorway.

“Good morning,” he said and put the plate down. “Sleep well?”

“Yeah...” Sakura said slowly. “What are you guys doing?”

Sasori leaned against one of the chairs. “We wanted to apologize for last night.”

“So you made me breakfast?” Sakura walked over to the table and saw a plate of bacon next to the pancakes.

Itachi scooped some more pancakes onto a plate and brought them over to the table. “Yes,” he said. “We know we upset you last night. Next time we'll be sure to check before rushing in like that.”

Whatever their reason, Sakura was definitely grateful for the free hot breakfast and smiled at them. “You guys are really sweet, you know that?”

“It was actually Tobi's idea,” Sasori said.

“It was?” Sakura hadn't seen Tobi out here and did a quick double take. “Where is he?”

Sasori rolled his eyes. “At the store. When he realized we didn't have ingredients for things like blueberry and chocolate chip pancakes he flipped out. He's buying fruit and chocolate now.”

“You guys...” she let out a whine and smiled even bigger. “You didn't have to do all of this for me, especially not over that stupid incident.”

“We want you to feel safe here no matter what,” Itachi said. “If you're to live with us we want you comfortable.”

Sakura put an arm around Sasori's shoulders and brought him over to where Itachi was standing so she could hug both of them. “Thanks. You guys are the best.”

The two men smiled down at her. A word of thanks was hard to come by here. It was a nice refreshment.

She let them go and looked down at the plates. “Should we wait for Tobi to come back with the stuff? I'd feel rude eating this when he's out getting more ingredients...”

“You could just have pancakes all day,” Sasori said.

“Don't tempt me,” she laughed. “If you're offering me all day pancakes with fruit you're going to have to deliver. Shapes and everything.”

For the moment Sakura was happy to sit and talk with the two of them while she enjoyed some of the best damn pancakes she'd ever had. Itachi could beat IHOP hands down.

It was nice eating breakfast with the two of them. They were the most level headed of the members here. Sasori could be a smartass but was calm and collected most of the time. They were also the only members that she didn't associate with some wacky memory. The bulk of memories concerning Itachi involved late-night trips to the kitchen for food. One of them would be in the kitchen and the other would walk in causing the first party to make up an excuse to leave immediately. Sakura shook her head and laughed at the humor of it all.

“What is it?” Itachi asked.

She looked up at him and shrugged. “I dunno. It's just funny remembering all those times we walked in on each other in the kitchen and now here we are. I'm eating a breakfast you all made as an apology. Honestly I still find it a little weird that I ended up rooming with all of you. Especially Deidara and Hidan. I never would have guessed I'd share a roof with them after all that stuff at the Uchiha mansion.”

“Walk in on one of Hidan's 'rituals'?” Sasori asked.

“Yeah, it was...” She paused and shivered. “Deidara just blew a hole in the wall while I was peeing.”

Sasori rolled his eyes. “And he calls that art.”

“Oh!” Sakura put her fork down and leaned closer to Sasori. “You said you'd show me how to make a vase or something this weekend. Are you still up for that?”

“Of course,” he said. “Whenever you're ready.”

Sakura was about to answer when Tobi came running through the front door holding up armfuls of grocery bags. “I have all the ingredients now!” He announced.

“Today is gonna be awesome,” Sakura said while looking over all the things he'd bought. She could see the chocolate chips and fruit but also saw things like whipped cream and something about red velvet.

“Aww, you already ate,” Tobi said sadly.

Sakura jumped up to help Tobi with the groceries. “Don't worry. We're making pancakes all day today. Whatever we don't eat we're just gonna freeze to eat later.”

Tobi's face broke out into a huge grin. “Really? Awesome!” He ran into the kitchen to put away his share of bags.

“Yeah, but first Sasori is going to show me some of his art stuff,” she said while putting the refrigerated items away.

“That's okay!” Tobi said. “I'll experiment with recipes while you're doing that.”

“I can't wait to see what you come up with,” she said. Knowing Tobi he was either going to create something extremely delectable or something that would put her off pancakes altogether for at least a month. Whatever the outcome she was excited to see what he'd come up with. “Just make sure you have some fruit ones. Those are the best.”

“Got it,” Tobi said. He started taking out the dry stuff and Sakura was curious what he'd do with a can of pumpkin. She went back out to the dining area and saw Sasori pushing his chair in.

“Wanna get started?” She asked.

“Sure,” he led her over to his shared room with Deidara. Sakura had expected to see Deidara in there but he was absent. Sasori went to a set of drawers and pulled out a large plastic bag with gray clay in it. “This should be enough.”

“Did you use your five finger discount to get that?” Sakura asked.

“I'll return it when we're done,” Sasori smirked and pulled out another bowl. “I just need to get some water.” He went to the bathroom to fill up the bowl. While he was gone Sakura sat down on one of the beds. She assumed it was Sasori's since that side of the room had more sculptures while the other side had what looked like, well, bombs. They were rectangular boxes with various wires coming out of the sides and going to others. Deidara really liked his explosions it seemed.

Sasori came back and pulled out the wheel for them to work with. “We'll start you with a smaller clump.” He set up the wheel with a chair next to it. “Get your hands wet in that bowl.” He motioned to the bowl and put the clump he had onto the wheel. When Sakura's hands were wet Sasori motioned for her to sit in the chair. She sat down and he sat across from her. “Okay put your hands on the lump like this,” he put his hands on the clay to show her. “And I'm going to have the wheel turn. We need to get it wet.”

Sakura nodded, “Okay got it.” She put her hands on the clay when he removed his. Her hands covered much less than his did. The wheel started spinning and she kept her hands on the mound.

“Now you're going to position your hands like this,” he moved his hands so the heels of his palms were pressed together against the clay. “And you'll push forward.” Sakura mirrored his hands and started to push forward with her elbows sticking out. Sasori got up and moved behind her, bringing her elbows in towards her abdomen. “Make sure you anchor your elbows against yourself. It helps.”

“Got it,” Sakura said. She tried to focus on just the clay but Sasori's hands were distracting her. He ran them up her arms to her hands and then to the clay itself.

After a few moments he nodded to himself, “Okay, we can start making this into a cone shape now.” He moved to kneel next to her and watched her form the shape with the tip at the top. “Now you're going to flatten the point with your thumbs, like this.” He put his hands on the other side and put his thumbs over Sakura's on the top and pressed down slightly to level out the top.

“This is one freaky looking bowl, I'll tell you what,” Sakura laughed. She wanted to distract herself from how, well, _nice_ his hands felt. They were much softer than she'd expected for someone like him.

Sasori rolled his eyes playfully. “It'll look better once we flatten it out. Now, take your left hand and put it against the clay like you did when you pushed it forward. Yes, just like that. Now take your right hand and put it on top of the cone while interlocking it with your left.”

Sakura moved her hands where he instructed. “Is this right?”

“Yes, perfect, now what you'll do is move your right hand down while pushing forward with the left,” he said.

“Uh, alright,” Sakura did as he instructed. The clay started to flatten out and soon a circular figure formed.

“Keep your left hand on the side here,” Sasori put his hand over hers and guided her left hand to smooth the edges.

Sakura continued to focus solely on the clay or else she knew she'd start blushing like a school girl. “Okay is this about low enough?”

“Yes, now we just need to mark the middle. He moved his hands to press his thumbs down in the middle to show where they'd start making the hole. “Go ahead and make a hole here but make sure to leave enough for the bottom of the bowl.”

“Aw, we can't just let everything drop out of the bottom?” Sakura said and started making the circle. “This is a lot more complicated than I thought it was going to be.”

“How did you think this worked?” Sasori asked.

“I dunno,” Sakura shrugged.

“Just pull the clay back to the edges now, be sure to keep your finger at the same level so the bottom isn't uneven,” he instructed.

She did as he said. “I thought you started with this sort of step. It's still fun though.” She smiled up at him and continued bringing the clay out.

Sasori smiled back watched her work. So far she was doing well for her first go. The bottom was becoming a bit uneven but that wasn't a big deal. He grabbed a sponge and put it in the water. When she reached the edge he took the sponge and ran it over the clay to make sure it was still wet enough. “Okay now run your thumbs across the bottom to make sure it's even.”

“Got it,” she said and ran them over the bowl. When the lump formed in the middle she plucked it out. Sasori handed her the sponge to pat the base.

“Now we're going to raise the walls up. Put your pointer finger inside with your thumb on the other side of the wall,” he said and Sakura did so. “Squeeze lightly. Make sure you're only using your fingertips.”

“Please don't fall over, bowl,” Sakura asked the clay. She could always start again but at least for her first time she wanted to get to the end without a big fuckup. If it didn't look pretty that was alright, as long as she could use it as a bowl.

“It'll be okay,” Sasori said. “Do you need any help?”

Sakura looked up at him and nodded; partly wanting help and partly wanting to feel his hands on hers again. Not that she’d admit it, even to herself.

“Okay,” he put his fingers over hers and squeezed. He pulled their hands up while running the sponge next to them. “Once more,” he said. “Do you think you can do this one?”

“Yeah,” Sakura nodded.

“Be careful not to use too much pressure since this is thinner now.”

“Okay,” she said and put her hands back at the base. She pulled them up just as Sasori hand showed her and made it to the top with no problems. “Any more? Or is that thin enough?”

“You tell me,” Sasori said. “Did you want the walls of your bowl thinner?”

Sakura studied the cylinder and shook her head. “No, this is good.”

“Next,” he took her hand in his and placed it inside the cylinder, “You're going to push against this.” He took her other hand and put it outside the cylinder opposite the first hand. “You'll support it with this one.”

Sakura looked up at him and smiled sheepishly, “Help me out with this too?”

Sasori smiled again, “Sure.” He pulled their hands out to give the clay a more bowl-like shape. Once it was pulled out nicely Sasori released her hands. “It looks good, just smooth out the rim and we can cut off the excess at the bottom.”

“Okay,” Sakura said and took a tool he handed her. She smoothed the rim while Sasori grabbed a wooden cutting tool. “My bowl is looking badass, seriously.”

“It's very good, especially for your first time,” Sasori said. He cut off the excess clay that was coming out of the bottom of the bowl. “All that's left is to trim the bottom for the bowl's stand.”

“How do we do that?” Sakura asked.

“We'll just trim off the excess clay around where we want it to be,” he said.

“Okay,” Sakura said. Sasori showed her how to trim off the parts of the bottom to leave the stand or “foot” of the bowl protruding. In the end it was mostly for aesthetic purposes as well as giving the bowl lift.

Once that was made the bowl was finished. Sakura picked it up and inspected it. “I think it looks pretty good.”

Sasori nodded. “Yes it's very good. All we need to do now is put it into a kiln. I'll take care of that for you.”

“Perfect!” Sakura said. “Let me know whenever it's done.” She looked down at her clay covered hands and headed to the bathroom. “Could you open the door for me? I don't wanna clay it all up.”

Sasori walked over and opened the bathroom door for her and she went in to wash her hands. Who knew clay was so messy? It was half way up her forearm. It took her a minute to get it off of her hands and arms. Then another minute went by while she scrapped the clay from under her nails. She was proud of her work. The bowl was a bit disfigured but she wasn't expecting perfection her first time. Naruto or Sasuke might have but she knew you weren't going to be perfect the first time you tried something new.

Once her hands were dried off she went to the bedroom again. Sasori was packing up the supplies. The bedroom door was opened and she could smell the obligatory pancake scent as well as mint, pumpkin, and… Were those oranges? She shook her head and sat down on Sasori's bed. “Tobi sure is going all out with the pancake marathon.”

“He still feels really bad,” Sasori explained. “You're going to be getting the star treatment for the next week at least.”

“How exciting,” Sakura said. “Seriously though you guys can chill. I'm not going to pee my pants at the sight of you.”

Sasori sat down next to her and shook his head. “You don't understand, you looked utterly terrified last night.”

“Well I was watching a horror movie before you guys thundered in,” she grumbled. “You guys are scary but don't give yourselves all the credit. Demonic jumpscares played a big role.”

“Either way, Tobi isn't going to stop until he thinks he's paid you back,” Sasori shrugged.

“Hm,” Sakura put a finger to her lips and looked at the ceiling in thought. “Well if there's no way around it I'll tell him to give me one big gesture instead of a few throughout the week. That way it's done. I mean Valentine's is coming up so he can just give me a box of chocolates as big as me and we'll call it a day.”

Sasori chuckled, “Yeah I guess that would work.”

Sakura leaned back on her elbows. “Do you guys even celebrate Valentine's Day?”

“If we have someone to celebrate with,” Sasori replied. “Otherwise there's not much of a point.”

“True,” Sakura nodded. “But, hey, if you like candy you can get in on those sales after V-Day.”

“I suppose so,” Sasori muttered. “I remember when giving chocolate and such first became popular.”

“You guys are so old,” Sakura teased.

“I think the last time one of us celebrated Harry Truman was president here,” Sasori mused.

Sakura thought for a moment before snorting with laughter, “That was in the forties!”

“Really? Seems like it was only a few decades ago.”

Sakura rolled her eyes. “Who was it?”

“Hm?” Sasori turned to look at Sakura who was still lying back on the bed.

She pushed herself up. “Which one of you celebrated it?”

“I believe it was Itachi,” Sasori said.

“Damn, how long has it been for the rest of you?” Sakura raised an eyebrow.

Sasori stared at her with a blank expression. “A while.”

“We gotta get you guys girlfriends. Or laid. Either one works from my experience.” Sakura thought back to high school. Specifically Ino. Sakura wasn't the only one who had pined for Sasuke. Ino had many ways to satisfy herself when Sasuke turned her away.

“I didn’t know you had any experience,” Sasori taunted.

Sakura felt a blush rising on her neck and shook her head quickly. “That's not what I meant! Ino's the one with the 'experience'. I've never even celebrated this stupid holiday.”

“You?” Sasori gave her an incredulous stare.

She shook her head. “Nope.”

“Were your boyfriends stupid?” Sasori chuckled.

Sakura returned the laugh and kept shaking her head. “No, because they never existed.”

Sasori stopped laughing immediately and gave her a skeptical look. “Really?”

“Yup,” she nodded. “In the human world it's a bit obvious why I didn't date.”

Sasori nodded in agreement. “True.” How could Sakura not have had a boyfriend? Obviously in the human world the risks of dating there were deadly, but what about in their world? She must have never been interested in dating. Or maybe she never liked anyone? It certainly wasn't because she was unattractive or had a bad personality. Sasori needed to know why or it was going to keep bugging him. “So why not when you went to school here?”

“Well,” she smiled but her eyes were somber. “I liked this one guy through most of middle school and all of high school. He didn't like me back. That's pretty much it.”

Her voice held a tone of finality at the end that told Sasori there wasn't anything else he'd get out of her. Not today at least. He didn't know what to say now, though. Feelings were never his strong point. A couple moments passed in awkward silence before he broke it with, “That's shitty.”

Sakura snickered. Something about the way he said that tickled her. She kept laughing for a good five minutes. She tried to stop but every time she looked up at Sasori she began laughing anew. The way he was looking at her like she was crazy kept making her sputter out another myriad of giggles. Eventually she was doubled over on the bed and leaning against Sasori so she wouldn't fall over on the floor.

“Are you okay?” Sasori asked her while she gasped for air.

“S-Stop l-l-looking at m-me-he-he-he!” Sakura tried to say through her giggles. She tried to take deep breaths but ended up sounding like a suffocating whale.

“What's going on in here?” Itachi's voice came from the doorway.

Sakura looked up to see Itachi giving her the same confused expression Sasori had and started laughing harder. She ended up locking herself in their bathroom for two reasons. One was that she’d never stop laughing with them giving her those confused looked. The second and probably most important was that if she didn’t stop laughing soon she was going to piss herself. She sat on the side of the tub and tried to take deep breaths. Once calm she leaned so her back was against the shower wall.

“I haven't laughed like that in years,” she mused to herself. She hadn't been around anyone she considered a friend since high school. It was hard to have a good time when you knew the slightest slip up could mean, well, death.

It was nice to laugh, though. She got up and stretched out her abdomen. It still felt like it was on fire.

She left the bathroom and went to the kitchen window to sit down. There were around seven plates with different pancakes piled up. The mixture of different smells was odd but still pleasant since pancakes always smell superb.

“What are all of these, Tobi?” Sakura asked.

Tobi had been facing the stove so he turned his head to look at her. “Special pancakes! They’re all different flavors.”

“Are those red velvet?” Sakura pointed to a stack of red pancakes that were in the shapes of hearts.

Tobi nodded. “Yes! We also have pumpkin, mint chocolate chip, cinnamon roll, cookie dough, and blueberry.”

“I smelled oranges earlier, did you make orange pancakes?” She asked hesitantly.

Tobi shook his head. “No not just orange. They also have pineapple and mangoes.”

“Then finish up your stack you have there and eat with me,” she said while pulling a plate of fruity pancakes to her. All that laughing worked up her appetite again.

While Tobi was finishing up Itachi came over and sat on her right. “What was all of that in Sasori's room?” He asked.

“Sasori just said something funny is all,” she said around her mouthful of pancakes. “These are great.”

“I really didn't,” Sasori called from the living room couch.

“Well I found it funny,” Sakura replied.

Once Tobi finished up his batch of pancakes he sat down with Sakura and Itachi so they could enjoy the first round. In twenty minutes they were ready for the next set. Kisame had joined them when the aroma had become enticing enough to lure him out of the bedroom. Suffice to say they needed a lot more this go around.

By evening Deidara and Hidan had joined them. Sakura was laying on the couch unable to move while the two of them cooked up some more stacks with Kisame in the kitchen. Sakura couldn’t believe she’d eaten so much. Two dozen pancakes had to be moving through her system right now. Even though the flavors were different Tobi knew what he was doing. Each kind was delicious. Though maybe that last stack of mint chocolate chip wasn’t the best idea.

“I think pancakes and I are gonna take a break for a few months,” Sakura groaned from the floor.

“Aww,” Tobi groaned from the loveseat. “But I still had some good ideas for this week!”

Sakura shook her head. “Nope. Can't do it. Like I told Sasori, just get me a huge chocolate heart for Valentine's Day and we'll call it even, kay?”

Tobi attempted getting off the couch but failed. He waved his arm in acknowledgment instead. “Hn, got it.”

“I didn’t know someone your size could eat that much,” Sasori remarked from the couch.

Sakura raised her head to look up at him. “Naruto trained me well.”

“You’re not really one to talk, Sasori.” Itachi smirked from the other side of the couch. “I lost count of how many you had.”

Sasori rolled his eyes. “Whatever.”

“Oh man,” Sakura groaned. “How did you all do it? I swear you guys ate twice as much as me.”

“I feel like you should have some sort of spell to help yourself right now,” Sasori chuckled.

“Can’t get up,” Sakura groaned pathetically. “Too full. Can’t move.” She wasn’t entirely lying. Her stomach had grown a few centimeters today that was for sure. The others all seemed fine, though. She supposed that’s what happens when you have super human everything. She had to wait another fifteen minutes until she could get up on the loveseat next to Tobi. Once she settled the three chefs came over to enjoy the last of the pancakes. Turns out they weren’t going to have leftovers after all.

Sakura eyed the stacks with caution. They had to be at least a foot tall each. Deidara plopped down on her other side and nearly splattered her with his stack.

“If you spill any of that on these couches, you’re paying for them,” Itachi remarked.

“Fuck you,” Hidan said while shoveling pancakes into his mouth on the other loveseat.

“If you have a problem with that, I can always call Kakuzu to come settle it.” Itachi smirked.

Hidan paused and glared at Itachi. “Fine, fine.”

“Who’s Kakuzu?” Sakura asked. “You mentioned him last night, Deidara.”

“He’s this asshole who’s obsessed with money,” Hidan said. “He’s a fucking heathen. Everything he does is for money. If he’s getting paid he’ll do whatever you want.”

Sasori rolled his eyes. “He’s our accountant.”

“Works for me,” Sakura shrugged. She picked up the remote and switched on the TV searching through the channels.

“Accountant or not, he’s still an ass,” Hidan said.

“Kinda, yeah,” Kisame agreed. “But, Pein and Madara think he’s a good worker so what can we do.”

By the time all the pancakes were finally – fucking _finally_ – gone, the sun was setting. Sakura had been searching through their basic cable package for forever now and couldn’t find anything. Everything was either news or infomercials.

“You guys aren’t ones for TV I’m guessing?” She asked.

“Sakura, we all literally grew up without electricity,” Kisame said.

“So, what, you guys don’t partake in TV or anything?” She asked.

“Not really,” Deidara said.

“What’s the point? It’s all stupid little ‘reality shows’ about people doing stupid challenges for cash or whatever,” Hidan said.

“Plus there’s that one weird show about a…honey badger?” Sasori shook his head and sighed.

“Sasori, I think you mean Honey Boo Boo,” Tobi said.

“Whatever,” Sasori rolled his yes. “It’s all stupid in the end.”

“There’s more than reality shows and Honey Boo Boo,” Sakura huffed. “There’s movies, dramas, documentaries, and a lot of other stuff. You guys are old, sure, but did you live under rocks?”

All of them were silent for a minute looking around awkwardly.

“Sort of, yeah,” Itachi said. “Until recently we lived in seclusion.”

“Yeah these assholes were the only interaction any of us ever got. At least until a few decades ago,” Deidara said.

“I think I saw a movie in the seventies or something,” Kisame mused. “Something with ‘Star’ in the name?”

Sakura looked at Kisame and tried not to laugh. “Do you mean _Star Wars_?”

“Yeah,” Kisame nodded. “I think that was it.”

“Well… That’s a good start,” she said.

“Movies are strange,” Itachi said. “You watch some story for an hour or two and don’t gain anything from it.”

“You’re joking right? It’s the same concept as a play, except with a movie you can watch it over and over again whenever you want,” Sakura stated.

“Every movie preview I’ve ever seen makes them all look the same,” Sasori said.

“Yeah,” Hidan chimed in. “It’s either something with guns, something with demons, something for kids, or some sappy love shit, seriously.”

Sakura propped her head up with her hand and sighed. “You guys are so uneducated.”

“Enlighten us, then,” Hidan challenged.

Sakura smiled and jumped up. “Glad you asked!” She skipped away to her bedroom where she grabbed her laptop and a cable for the TV. Skipping back to the living room, she sat down again between Deidara and Tobi while she looked through her video files. After getting so many DVDs Sakura realized she should just put the actual movies onto her computer for convenience. Best decision she ever made.

She held up the laptop and jokingly said, “Now class, this is what we call a computer. It’s more or less magic.”

Hidan threw a pillow at her face from across the room. “We know that much, dumbass.”

Sakura threw the pillow back and giggled. “Whatever. Now, should I give you something like Star Wars or something else…?” She searched through her movies pondering. Halfway through her search she smiled. The perfect movie! She hid the results from Tobi and Deidara’s prying eyes and went to hook her laptop up to the TV. She may be a bit biased with her choice, but she didn’t quite care. In their opinions they did owe her after all.

“What are you putting on?” Tobi asked.

“A classic. Trust me, keep an open mind and you’ll love it.” She finished setting up the laptop and sat back between Tobi and Deidara. She clicked play.

“Circle of Life” blared through the speakers,

“ _Nants injonyama bagithi Baba_

_Sithi uhm ingonyama…”_

While Sakura wanted to sing as loud as possible she knew letting them experience it sing-a-long free would be the best course of action. She settled for lip synching instead. And maybe mouthing along to some lines. Okay, most lines.

Scar was in the middle of turning hyenas into Nazi soldiers in “Be Prepared” when Itachi abruptly jumped out of his seat. He turned to stare at the front door. “Deidara,” he said in a whisper.

Deidara didn’t reply vocally. Instead he plucked the mouse out of Sakura’s hand and closed the movie out completely. He was staring at the front door as well. Sakura knew better than to protest. All of them were hearing something outside that she could not. She put her hand on Deidara’s arm to get his attention. When he turned his head to look at her she nodded to the front door. He put a finger over his lips and mouthed, “Tell you in a sec.”

It was a good five minutes until any of them spoke. Itachi looked over to Kisame. “Call Konan.”

Kisame dashed to the bedroom to place the call.

Itachi looked at Sasori and Hidan next. “Check the locks.” The two of them sped off to the bedrooms. Itachi turned to Tobi and motioned for him to follow them.

Sakura knew she shouldn’t make much noise but she needed to know what was going on. So, in the quietest whisper she could manage she asked, “What’s happening?”

Itachi turned to her. His face was contorted in an expression of rage. “Those idiots let the werewolves out.”

Sakura felt her stomach drop and her heart lurch. Her grip on Deidara’s arm tightened. How was it already a full moon? She didn’t say anything else while Itachi directed the boys. Hidan, Sasori, and Tobi were sent to check every inch of the house for any weaknesses that would allow the beasts in. Kisame finally came back out and looked just as pissed as Itachi.

His voice was a low whisper as well, “The damn holding cells were fucked with.”

Sakura’s eyes widened. She remembered Tsunade saying something about holding cells to Orochimaru when she’d bumped into them. She’d been too scared at the time to give it any thought.

“What are they doing to fix it?” Itachi asked.

“They have people out looking for them. All dorms are locked down and all houses are receiving calls to stay inside.”

“How many got out?”

Kisame lowered his head and lifted a hand to rub between his eyes. “All of them.”

“Shit,” Itachi turned around to look at Sakura. “Do you know any spells to deter werewolves?”

Sakura mentally rifled through her spell book. “I should have something in my book.”

“Kisame,” Itachi said.

“Got it,” Kisame headed to her bedroom. He was back in a second with the book and handed it to her.

Before she took it from him she knew it was useless. The main ingredient in any warding spell for werewolves involved wolf’s bane, also known as aconite. The thing about aconite is that vampires were also weak to this plant. Because of this the aconite was kept locked up on campus. Witches were not allowed to take it from the classroom or face punishment up to expulsion.

Sakura sighed and closed the book. “We don’t have the main ingredient,” she whispered. That was all that needed said. There was no way anyone was going outside right now.

Tobi came back into the living room. “Everything is secure,” he said. Sasori and Hidan entered not a minute after him.

“Konan will call back when she either knows more or the problem is dealt with,” Kisame said.

“Then we wait,” Itachi announced. “We stay in the middle here. Be quiet.”

Everyone complied. They all sat down and waited in silence. Sakura brought her knees up and wrapped her arms around them. If all the werewolves were out then that means Naruto was also out there. Right now she was more scared for him than for her own safety. When you looked at it that wasn’t too illogical. Sakura was surrounded by six experienced vampires while Naruto was outside with every other werewolf in the school. Someone was going to get hurt, she just knew it. What if Naruto is the one who gets attacked? What if he’s the one who attacks someone? Werewolves lose themselves when they turn, everyone knows that. It wasn’t absurd to think Naruto will end up killing someone tonight.

Sakura dug her nails into her legs to distract herself. It wouldn’t do any good to think about this. Whatever will happen will happen regardless of whether she worried or not.

_Naruto…_ She put her head down into her arms and shut her eyes tightly. They’d never punish him if he hurt someone tonight. They wouldn’t punish any of them. Not if it was someone else’s fault that they got out. But Naruto would never forgive himself if he hurt someone. She knew one of his close friends was also out there. Gaara was his name. What if Naruto ended up hurting him? What if he killed him? He’d never be the same.

Sakura’s mind was racing and she couldn’t stop it. Every time she tried to push the thoughts away new ones cropped up. What about their other friend Kiba? Or Chouji? Was Jiraiya out there too? If he was in the fray then there was even more to worry about. She couldn’t bear it if Naruto tried to pick a fight with Jiraiya. He would, too. And he’d lose.

Just the thought was making her eyes sting. She wanted to help him so much. This helpless feeling made her sick. If only she just had that stupid plant. The frustration was making tears start filling behind her eyelids. It was only a matter of time before she started crying. Again. She wiped her face on her upper arm and cursed herself. Wasn’t she done crying? She promised herself she was done with this.

An arm moved around behind her back pulling her towards a cold body. She looked up and saw Deidara. He gave her a wide grin.

“It’ll be fine,” he whispered and pulled her closer to him. He squeezed her shoulder reassuringly. She smiled back at him and wiped her eyes.

She was going to reply but was cut off when a high pitched yelp resounded from outside the front door. It was followed by a thunderous growl. Sakura couldn’t help it and let out her own quiet yelp at the startle. Two, or maybe more, werewolves were fighting just outside the front door to their home. She stared at the door terrified of who was out there.

Sakura made to get up but Deidara kept a tight hold of her. They couldn’t risk being spotted or heard. If any of the werewolves knew there was meat in here they’d break the door right down. Sakura knew this, too. In the end it wasn’t worth knowing if Naruto was out there or not.

Still, she couldn’t stand hearing the inhuman sounds. Werewolves were terrifying and knowing three of them were right outside their door was hell. They had absolutely no control when they turned.

Deidara noticed her discomfort and pulled her closer to him. Her head rested on his shoulder and she shut her eyes tight while curling up against him. Without her necessary ingredients she may as well have been a human right now. Being this close to a vampire was comforting right now.

_Especially Deidara,_ Sakura’s mind offered up for her. She pushed the thought away for now. It was not the time to be thinking like that. She knew he was only trying to comfort her. It was working, too. He put a hand over her exposed ear so the fighting sounds weren’t so loud. She would have focused on anything else if she could have. They had to be as quiet as possible right now. There were no other sounds to hone in on. Not even a heartbeat to fixate on. She couldn’t help the quick exhale of air through her nose in a quiet giggle.

Eventually the fight died down. According to Itachi they seemed to be safe for the moment. Kisame still hadn’t gotten the call from Konan. Sakura wanted to ask who that was. The name was familiar.

For now all that could be done was try to sleep. The fight had gone on for a long time. It was already 11 o’clock. Being on edge constantly was tiring Sakura out, too. Sleep sounded like a good idea, so she shifted to get comfortable against Deidara and let herself drift off. She knew it’d be a while before her bed would be a viable option.

Sakura couldn’t have been asleep for more than a minute. There was no way the sun was beaming straight into her face already. She cracked an eye open to be greeted with a bright ray of sunshine going straight to her pupil.

“Augh, headshot!” She hollered while sitting up straight in her bed.

“What the hell are you screaming about now?” Deidara’s voice came from beside her.

She rubbed her eyes and looked to her right. Deidara was propped up on his elbows rubbing the sleep out of his own eyes.

“What are you doing in my bed?” Sakura asked.

“Your bed? This is my bed,” Deidara replied.

Sakura looked around the room to see that she was in fact in Sasori and Deidara’s room. She looked back over to Deidara who was now sitting up straight next to her. “Oh,” she said.

Sakura couldn’t seem to get her mind to think straight. One minute she was falling asleep on the couch next to Deidara and now she was waking up in his bed. It was apparent that Deidara had dosed off as well. His hair was down and all mussed up. He also had sleep marks all down his arms and on the side of his bare chest.

_He’s even more attractive now,_ Sakura thought.

“Why are we in your bed?” Sakura asked.

“Because we didn’t want to leave you alone in your room last night,” Deidara said.

“Oh,” Sakura shrugged. “Okay, good. Just making sure we didn’t do any nefarious activities.”

“Well you are lacking pants,” Deidara smirked.

“What??” Sakura lifted the covers and saw that she indeed was not wearing pants. “What the fuck?!”

“Don’t look at me.” Deidara defended himself. “You’re the one who kicked them off. When I tried to stop you I got punched.”

Sakura put a hand over her mouth to hide her reflexive smile. “Oh shit, I’m sorry.”

Deidara shrugged and breathed out a laugh. “It’s fine.”

“Why are you in the bed, though?”

Deidara laughed again. “I figured it was alright to use my own bed to watch over you.”

“And,” Sakura poked his chest. “Your lack of clothes?”

“It’s more comfortable,” Deidara remarked. “Why? Do my male nipples offend you?”

Sakura hit him with a pillow and got up to find her pants. She supposed waking up to one of her roommates half naked wasn’t the _worst_ way she could have woken up. When she found her pants she saw her phone’s notification light was blinking. She turned it on and saw that she had a lot of missed calls from Sasuke. She dropped her pants and immediately called him.

He picked up on the second ring, “Sakura?”

“Sasuke! What happened?? Is Naruto okay?!” Sakura asked louder than she needed to.

“He’s in the infirmary along with pretty much all the other werewolves.” Sasuke said and let out a quick chuckle. “He keeps asking me to call you because he knows you were probably worried sick.”

Sakura rolled her eyes. “I’m on my way!” She ended the call and pulled her pants on. “I’ll be back later, I need to go check on Naruto.”

“Have fun,” Deidara said and laid back down on the bed smirking to himself. Sakura had a nice ass.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the moderately late update. Yay for a bit extra long chapter? And shirtless Deidara? Eh?
> 
> I was moving this week and things are hectic and my personal life is just blah. This story is my only escape right now lol. I swear I'm still thinking about this story even if I'm not writing. I hope you guys enjoyed this one!
> 
> Hopefully the next chapter won't take too long to type up. It's gonna be a fun one, I'll tell you what...
> 
> I hope all of you liked this one! Please review and let me know what you guys thought. Reviews are beautiful and I love hearing everyone's opinion!
> 
> Until next time, see you my lovelies!


	6. Chapter 6

“Sakura, please calm down, I’m fine,” Naruto was trying to placate the frantic girl.

“You’re in the infirmary Naruto! You are not alright in any way!” Sakura retorted.

“I told you,” Naruto spoke to her like he was talking to a child. “There were a few scratches here and there but I’m fine now. You know how fast we heal.”

Sakura crossed her arms and looked to Sasuke for help.

“I’m not getting between you two,” Sasuke shook his head. “He’s not dead or dying and that’s good enough for me.”

“Weren’t you worried, though?” Sakura asked.

“Sure, but there’s no point in worrying now. He’s fine.”

“Listen to him, Sakura,” Naruto said gently. “I’m okay. I’ll even be able to go to class tomorrow.”

She sighed. He was right. The incident was over now. Naruto was alive and well by some miracle. Others hadn’t fared as well. A few of them were in critical condition, even with their rapid healing abilities. Most of those worse off had gotten deep cuts or bites. They’d lost a lot of blood, but thankfully everyone had survived the night. It was truly astounding that no one had died. Sakura had expected at least one less student today. This was good, though.

“Sakura!” Ino’s voice came from a few beds down.

Sakura turned around and waved at her friend. Ino was visiting a childhood friend of theirs, Chouji. She’d brought along Shikamaru as well, another old friend. Sakura turned back to Naruto, “Hey I’m going to say hi to Ino real quick. I’ll be back, okay?”

Naruto waved her off, “Please, keep Ino over there. I may not be dead but I do have a hell of a headache.”

Sakura rolled her eyes and walked over to her friend, “Hey, how’s everyone over here?”

“Good,” Chouji said. “Alive, so good.”

“There’s still no word on what exactly happened,” Shikamaru said to Chouji.

“I wish I could remember anything from last night,” Chouji replied.

Ino put her hand on his shoulder. “Don’t worry, they’ll find out how you got out.”

Sakura remembered what Itachi had said last night when she’d asked what was going on. “Itachi had said someone let you guys out.”

“What?” Chouji asked. “No way, no one but the head masters and certain teachers know the cell codes.”

Sakura shrugged. “I don’t know the specifics. We didn’t have a lot of time to talk.” She turned to Ino and hugged her. “Hey I was worried about you last night, you know.”

Ino hugged her back. “I wish I could say the same.”

Sakura pulled back. Ino had a point. She’d been in a dorm with other witches that didn’t have any way to create a warding spell. Sakura had been in a house of vampires ready to keep her safe.

“Were you guys all safe last night?” Sakura asked Shikamaru.

“Yeah, the dorms were sealed tight,” Shikamaru said. “No one got in or out.”

“Good,” Sakura smiled. With nothing else left to say at the moment Sakura bid her farewell to the three of them and returned to Naruto and Sasuke. It wasn’t long before Naruto was begging Sasuke to herd her out of the infirmary. It wasn’t that she was being a bother. Sakura had a knack of over worrying when it came to her friends. They would all benefit if Sakura went home and focused on her own needs. Eventually she agreed since she did have homework that still needed to get done.

She had planned on doing it yesterday but pancakes were a much more important activity. As was making that bowl with Sasori.

Sakura started walking down the sidewalk outside. She was excited to see how her bowl was going to turn out. Sasori had said it was good so hopefully she’ll have a nice personalized cereal bowl soon. It had been fun to make with him and she definitely wanted to try again. This time without the training wheels. Though she really hadn’t minded his touch. It had been sort of nice, actually.

Hell everything with these guys has been nice so far. Things like waking up next to Deidara and having shower fights with Hidan were just cherries on top. Sakura wouldn’t lie, she was sort of hoping Deidara was where she’d left him that morning. If she hadn’t been so concerned about Naruto she may have stuck around a bit longer that morning.

“Oh well,” she said to herself. What’s done is done.

Even so, she made a mental note to take full advantage of the next opportunity that came about. If one ever did.

“Wait,” Sakura stopped walking and stared at the ground. What did she even mean by that? Sure she was in college and experimenting was certainly on her to-do list but what the hell did she expect to happen if she woke up next to one of them?

Hidan was an obvious answer. She doubted there would be much she’d have to do herself in that case anyways.

But if it was someone like Itachi or Sasori? They certainly wouldn’t partake in anything too intimate. Would they?

Did Tobi even know what kissing was?

“Why am I even thinking about this?” Sakura asked herself. It wasn’t going to happen. She wasn’t going to wake up one morning in one of their beds and start fooling around with them. Perhaps before the semester is over she may wake up in one of their beds again, but they certainly wouldn’t be in it. And even if they were it’s not like any of them even thought of her that way. The entire scenario was silly and Sakura should stop thinking about it right this second.

.

.

.

But what if she woke up in Kisame’s bed? He’s so big that Sakura doubted he fit in his bed by himself. There was just no way. Half his legs must hang off the edge of the damn thing. How in the world did he even get so tall in the first place? Weren’t people shorter back when he was born?

“Still…why am I thinking about… _this?_ ” Sakura repeated. Why did she seem to want to be in these intimate settings with them? She shook her head and walked faster. These were not thoughts she wished to linger on at the moment.

* * *

Homework involving magic and spells could never, ever be boring to Sakura. She always loved reading what she needed for her spells and memorizing the ingredients and incantations. It was always better than remembering something like the quadratic formula because the more she remembered in this subject the more practical uses she had in her everyday life. Sure she could write out equations and solutions to math problems and get a good mark just fine, but when she was finished with that exam then that was it. There was no use for fractions or exponents in her daily life. Spells on the other hand were infinitely more useful. And fun.

With a spell you can see your progress right in front of you. The rewards are always so much better, too. Acing a spell means your life gets infinitely simpler in some way or another. You can use that spell for the rest of your life for whatever reason you need to.

Presently Sakura’s task was to take a seed and make it grow from a pot. The idea is simple but in fact making an organic material grow is exceptional. For her healing magic she will need to be able to regrow organic tissues. Basic applications would be healing and sealing flesh wounds. Advanced applications can even regrow things like fingers and toes. Powerful witches can regrow arms and legs.

For now Sakura just needs to grow a three inch bean stalk from the pot. The steps were simple on paper. Much more complex in practice. It’s easy to concentrate your magical energy on an object. The tricky part here was making sure it was concentrated on the small parts of the seed that needed it. Whilst doing this she needed to say the incantation, “Incrementum.”

Twenty minutes passed by with the seed staying in its present state. Sakura was getting progressively more annoyed at the stupid thing. She knew she was sending the energy correctly and saying the incantation right. So why the hell wasn’t it sprouting?

In a final determined action she pushed forth as much magic energy as she could without blowing up the seed. A leaf sprouted up from the soil and began to rise up. Sakura squealed in excitement. She’d finally done it. The seed was growing.

And growing…and growing…

“Oh shit,” Sakura mumbled. The plant continued to sprout up at a rapid rate. Soon it was touching her ceiling with branches sprouting out to the edges of her room. Sakura backed up to her door and looked around her room in a panic. The plant was wrapping around anything it could get a hold of. Sakura quickly stepped out of her room to avoid the green tendrils wrapping around her ankles. She slammed the door shut and put her hands in her hair.

“Oh fuck,” she said while staring at her door. This could be why the instructions had said not to overdo it with the energy. She looked over at the living room and saw Itachi eyeing her.

“Sakura, did I just see a forest in your room?” He asked.

Sakura laughed weakly. “Heh, maybe? Help me out here?”

Itachi got up shaking his head. He walked over to her door and opened it just enough to peek inside. He closed the door quickly and looked back at Sakura with an amused expression. “You sure are something, Sakura.”

Sakura rolled her eyes. “Look, the stupid seed wasn’t sprouting. I just gave it a little push. Now it won’t stop…”

“You should probably go get a teacher,” he suggested.

“Seriously?” Sakura groaned. “Oh man, this is gonna be interesting… Wanna go on an adventure?”

Itachi thought for a moment before accepting her offer. “Sure, why not?” In truth he should have been staying here awaiting a call from Konan about the previous night. Yet thought of Sakura needing to explain to a teacher that she needed assistance with an out of control beanstalk was too good to pass up in the end.

While they walked to the faculty building Sakura chattered away. When they passed by the building the infirmary was housed in Sakura asked Itachi about last night. “You said someone let them out… What did you mean by that?”

Itachi didn’t quite know how to answer that. It wasn’t like Sakura couldn’t handle the truth. She was strong and able minded. But did he really want to make her worry? She would keep asking either way so he might as well give her a watered down version of it. “Someone did let them out. The headmasters won’t release this news publicly anytime soon, though. All we know for sure is that all werewolves were in their assigned cells at the time of the first count. By the time the second came around they were all gone.”

“So they have no idea who did it?”

“Not yet.”

Sakura sighed. “Who would want to let them out in the first place?”

Itachi could think of a few people but decided to keep these suspicions to himself. There were some things she didn’t need to know.

When they entered the faculty building Sakura was able to find a teacher quickly. Most of them were gathered near the entrance. Sakura got the attention of the teacher that had assigned her the homework.

“Um, hello, Ms. Kurenai?” Sakura asked while walking around in front of the woman.

“Sakura what are you doing here?” Kurenai asked.

Sakura laughed nervously, “Heh, well, you see… I… Look I was trying to do the homework and grow that plant. At first it wasn’t working but now it’s about to fill up the entire house and I can’t stop it.”

Kurenai had to bite her cheek to keep herself from laughing. She nodded and motioned to the door, “Please. Lead the way.” On their way out she told one of the teachers she’d be back in twenty minutes, tops.

When the three of them got back Sakura found that the plant was starting to make its way out of her room by going underneath the door. It was a simple matter for Kurenai to wave her hand and dispel the plant.

“Thank you so much,” Sakura said.

Kurenai turned back to Sakura. “You really did all that?”

Sakura blushed and rubbed the back of her head. “Yeah. Like I said the seed wouldn’t grow at all but when I finally got it started it wouldn’t stop.”

“Does this kind of thing usually happen for you?” Kurenai asked.

“Well,” Sakura thought about it. “I mean usually I don’t have to push out that much energy when performing a spell. Normally I can use a little bit and it works just fine.”

Kurenai nodded, “I see. It seems like you have a lot of power, but haven’t mastered the precise control over it.”

“You’re telling me,” Itachi said from the couch.

Sakura frowned at him. “I’m trying.”

“I think I know something that could help,” Kurenai remarked while pulling a pen and a small notepad out of her pockets. She scribbled something down on it and handed it to Sakura. “There’s a book at the library called ‘Precise and Accurate’. It’s specifically for honing the accuracy of your magic. I think you have a fair bit of talent. You just need to practice.”

Sakura took the paper and grinned. “Of course, I’ll check it out immediately.”

“Might want to hurry,” Kurenai looked at her phone’s clock. “They close in about an hour on weekends.”

Sakura nodded, “Yes of course.”

Kurenai said her goodbyes and left. Sakura was out the door right after her. She hadn’t bothered to ask Itachi if he wanted to join her this time. If she could hone her magic she knew spells would come so much easier. Lucky her they still had the book on the shelf when she got there. She checked it out and immediately went home to read it.

After a few hours her eyes started to sting and she had to close to book. At least for a little while. She’d already learned so much, especially in regards to plant growing. According to the text one of the things she can do to practice with her control is trying to grow different sorts of plants. If she was really good she could alter the seed itself to grow whatever she wanted. For now, though, a simple summoning spell got her a dozen seeds or so of different varieties. There were long skinny ones, plump round ones, and little oval shaped ones.

One by one she put them into pots of soil – also summoned – and began growing them. Since Sakura didn’t know what each seed was it was interesting to see what would pop up. At first it took nearly an hour to grow one little daisy but soon intricate roses were sprouting up along with some other pretty plants she couldn’t place. One looked like a stem of flowers, the other was white with purple in the center, and some didn’t seem to have flowers at all. They were all very, very pretty though. Sakura smiled at her handiwork but knew the flowers weren’t going to last in these pots. She picked up two of them and headed out to the big trash can in the kitchen and dumped the soil and flower into the trash.

“Looks like you’ve gotten better,” Itachi remarked from the kitchen table.

Sakura smiled as she walked past him back to her room. “I have my own little garden in here.” She grabbed two more and came back out. “This really seems like a case of hard to learn easy to master.”

“You’re sure to be getting an A in that class,” Itachi said.

“I better. I’ve been practicing for the whole day,” Sakura said.

“I know,” Itachi chuckled. “I heard you yelling at the seeds earlier.

“Ah ha,” Sakura laughed shyly. “It helps me focus?”

Itachi looked back down at the textbook he was reading. “Whatever you say. They’re pretty, though.”

“Yeah,” Sakura admired the rose she’d sprouted. “Well if you ever need flowers, you know who to come to.”

Itachi glanced up for a moment and back down to his book. “Yeah, I do.” He smiled lightly.

* * *

Tuesdays had become one of Sakura’s favorite days of the week. Kisame’s company on her way to class was wonderful. He always got her bright and alert by the time they got to her classroom. He walked her there claiming it was on his way but Sakura knew better. She’d seen him turn right around and jog the other way on more than one occasion. Still, it was nice to have the company the whole way. Whether he meant to do it or not Kisame’s appearance kept her clear of the token odd student that would have otherwise pestered her and other students.

Out of all the Akatsuki Kisame was by far the most terrifying to look at. His face was defined yet slightly distorted. His cheeks sunken and eyes beady and slightly bulging. He had his teeth carved into sharp tools used for tearing and maiming. On top of all that his skin held a light blue tint that contrasted starkly with his black irises. His whole being screamed unnatural and frightening.

And yet she was becoming closer to him than most of the other Akatsuki. Perhaps it was all the alone time they spent together walking to and from school on these two days. You’d think someone like Tobi would be easy to bond with but something about his childlike demeanor and hyperactive nature made it hard to connect with him on a personal level.

Kisame was the oldest in the house. That made him exciting to talk to. Most days Sakura would ask him about different eras in history and what they were like. Kisame never seemed to mind. He always gave her lengthy and detailed answers when he was able.

“Honestly, you’re the only reason waking up so early doesn’t suck,” Sakura said when they headed out that day.

“I’m glad I could be of service,” Kisame replied. “I could say about the same for you.”

Sakura looked up at him as they walked down the sidewalk. “What do you mean?”

“Since I can get to class in about five minutes I don’t have to leave this early to get there. But it’s worth it to spend some time with you,” he smiled down at her, exposing a few rows of sharp teeth.

Sakura giggled, “Has anyone ever told you that your teeth and blue skin make you look like a shark?”

Kisame scowled. “At least once a month.”

“Aww, don’t go getting blue on me now,” Sakura said through more giggles.

“You really wanna play the color battle with me?” Kisame asked in a playful tone. “Then again you were dumb enough to enter a prank war with Hidan.”

Sakura whacked his arm jokingly. “I haven’t lost that one yet!”

Kisame shrugged her hand away after receiving the oh so painful blow, “You will if you don’t get him back soon.”

“Whatever,” Sakura mumbled. “I just hope he doesn’t strike back anytime soon.”

“Who knows, maybe he’ll take his chance,” Kisame mused.

Sakura nodded in silent agreement. For a while they walked together in comfortable silence. It was nice. Sakura looked at Kisame from out of the corner of her eye. Damn he was tall. She barely came up to his shoulder. On top of that he had to have been the most muscular of the Akatsuki. Well at least of the members she knew. All in all it made him look a big, blue – ‘ _sexy’_ – mountain.

Wait what?

Sakura shook her head.

‘ _Be gone, vile thoughts. Not right now.’_

She’d been getting them every now and then, even after the midnight incident. Hell she’d been getting them from day one here. These boys were all extremely hot and gave her a lot of positive attention. Something she’d always craved from a certain assbutt in high school.

But she had told herself she wouldn’t let all that get to her. No sir she was not about to give in to any guy that happened to be nice to her. So far most of them had just been friendly. Except Hidan. But Hidan’s an ass, so…

The last time she thought that a good looking guy being nice to her meant he might be interested, he broke her heart. Sure, Ino would probably say something like, “Who cares! Make a move on whichever one is sexiest. If they don’t kiss back, fuck them. If they do kiss back, _fuck them_.”

Sakura shook her head. Sure even a date with any of these guys would be fantastic but she wasn’t going to make a move unless one of them did. So far, it was looking bleak to say the least. Though she couldn’t complain too much. They were all becoming genuinely good friends with her. She always loved having a large amount of friends.

The two finally reached her classroom and Kisame said his usual goodbye but this time punctuated it with a bear hug. Sakura was surprised but hugged right back.

“See you in a few hours,” he said while walking “to class”.

Sakura sat down in her seat and waited impatiently for the class to begin.

When she got home that evening ‘Precise and Accurate’ was still laying open on her on desk and Sakura figured she should get back to reading through it. She sat down and began carefully reading through the text and writing down anything she thought was important. Which was nearly everything. She didn’t know exactly how much time had passed but eventually there was a knock at her door. She got up and opened it to see Tobi and Sasori’s smiling faces. They were holding a gigantic red heart that came up to Sakura’s elbows.

“What’s going on here?” Sakura asked looking at the huge red shape.

“You said you’d be fine with a giant red heart of chocolate,” Sasori said.

“So we got you one! Happy Valentine’s Day Sakura!” Tobi said cheerfully.

Sakura smiled looking from one boy to the other. The two of them had honestly gone to the trouble of getting her this behemoth? “Are you serious?”

“Nah, it’s actually just for us. We wanted to screw with you,” Sasori remarked sarcastically.

Tobi elbowed him in the side. “But we’ll certainly help you eat it if you want.”

“Hell yeah,” Sakura stepped out of her room and motioned to the kitchen table. “Just put it on here so we can take a look at – what the hell is this?” She stopped mid-sentence when she saw that the entire kitchen table was now covered in candy, cakes, and various other pastries. The other guys were all standing around the table.

Sasori stood next to her and rested his arm on her shoulder and leaned in towards her in a casual stance. “Well you said you wanted a huge heart. So we had to up our game to make sure we completely paid you back.”

“I hope you like strawberries!” Tobi announced. “Since you liked the fruit pancakes so much I thought maybe you’d like fruity desserts too.”

Sakura couldn’t stop smiling. “Yeah they’re delicious.” She put a hand to her cheek to try and calm herself down. This was so nice of them. She hadn’t actually expected them to go out and buy her anything. Hell she’d forgotten today was even Valentine’s Day

These boys who she’s known for barely a month went out of their way to buy her a plethora of candies and pastries for this holiday. Sure Naruto had always given her little cupcakes or bags of sweets but this was unbelievable. She’s never been treated this well on any holiday really. Tears of happiness began filling her eyes.

“Hey now,” Sasori moved his arm to put it around her shoulders and pull her closer. “There’s no crying today.”

“Sakura what’s wrong?” Tobi asked, almost sounding scared. “Do you not like chocolate?”

Sakura shook her head and wiped her eyes. “I’m sorry, it’s just… This is so amazing. Thank you.”

Sasori smiled gently and pulled her in for a hug. “Everyone picked out something for you. The big heart is from all of us.”

Sakura hugged him back tightly and buried her face in his shoulder. They had all gotten her something? This wasn’t all just a big conglomerate?

She took a few deep breaths and pulled back from Sasori to look up at the others. They were all giving her those stupid happy smiles that made her want to melt. “Thank you,” she spoke quietly.

“Here, try this, Sakura!” Tobi handed her a plate of cake.

She looked down at it. You didn’t have to ask her twice. Sakura was about to go at that thing with her bare hands but Itachi managed to get her a fork before that happened. There were strawberries between the cake layers ad they were so fresh and delicious.

“Don’t eat too much, you still have to try the rest,” Deidara said. “Mine’s totally the best, though.”

“Fuck no, I got the best one,” Hidan retorted.

Sakura looked from Hidan to the table and back up to him. “Which one is yours Hidan?”

He smirked and pointed at a large cake. “That one.”

“Mhmm,” Sakura pursed her lips. “Right so I’m not touching that one until someone else cuts it for me.” She narrowed her eyes at Hidan. “I’m not getting a face full of cake.”

“Tch,” Hidan walked over to the cake himself and cut a piece. “I told you, that’s weak shit, seriously. Like I’d pull that.” He handed her the plate but she continued to eye it skeptically. “You don’t want me to start feeding you.”

Sakura thought about it for a moment and decided he was right. Something about Hidan putting objects in her mouth didn’t seem…well…rated E for everyone. She took the plate and tried his cake as well.

“Ohf mah gawf,” Sakura said with a full mouth. “Deficiouth.”

Hidan looked at her like she was crazy. “Wha?”

“She said it was good,” Kisame filled in for Sakura who nodded.

“Awesome,” Hidan smirked.

Sakura didn’t even know what to eat next. That huge chocolate lava cake? The gigantic sundae as big as her head? The cookies piled high with ample frosting? Or perhaps the chocolate covered fruit arranged in a pretty flower pattern? Ah hell, she’d just start with what was closest and work her way to the other end. So, the lava cake was up first. And she should have known who would choose a lava cake. Something that looks like a volcano. Something that explodes. But she didn’t even think about it. No one did. Not until Sakura’s face was covered in warm chocolate. In hindsight Sakura knew she should have been more wary about Deidara’s cake exploding than Hidan’s.

She picked her head up to glare at Deidara and found him just inches away from her face. Her glare faltered when he used a finger to scoop some chocolate off of her cheek and eat it. She couldn’t help giggling and mimicked the movement herself.

“Hot damn that is some delicious chocolate,” Sakura commented. After cleaning off her face she used the ample chocolate from the lava cake to adorn some of the other desserts she still had yet to try. These boys knew how to do desserts. Or maybe they’d gone somewhere that had helped them pick these out. Either way Sakura was ten cookies, three pieces of cake, and probably about a pint of ice cream into her sugar binge. It wasn’t long before Kisame and Hidan had to collectively pull her away from the table and settle her down on the couch.

Sakura spent the rest of the evening in the living room with whoever came and went. Some of the guys had to go do homework but some stayed out with her. Presently she was sitting so that she was leaning against Deidara with her legs outstretched over Sasori’s lap.

The boys had said they’d let her watch whatever she wanted that night. In the spirit of the holiday she picked a romance, of course. But it had to be something good. Not just some random thing that came out ten years ago that she saw once. It had to be big.

So she made the boys watch the three hour long heart wrenching tragedy that is Titanic. Sadly because she’d spent a good portion of her afternoon practicing magic she’d gotten tired. Rose and Jack hadn’t even gone down below deck to dance before her eyes threatened to close.

“Hey, don’t go falling asleep,” Sasori said from the end of the couch. “You’re not leaving us to watch this alone.”

“You love it and you know it,” Sakura said.

“You said there were boobs in this,” Hidan complained from the loveseat.

“Soon, my dear, soon,” Sakura grumbled. The only way Hidan would sit and watch a romantic movie was if Sakura had promised there’d eventually not only be breasts but also a sex scene. She failed to mention these did not happen at the same time.

“Why the hell would a girl like her even trust a guy like him?” Hidan asked. “I mean how does she know he wasn’t just gonna take her down below deck and screw her brains out?”

“He saved her from killing herself, you dumbass,” Deidara said. “That’s why.”

Hidan waved his hands. “Nah, nah, that just means you want her alive. Doesn’t mean you’re in love with her.”

“This was also during 1912.” Deidara replied. “People were a bit more trustworthy then.”

“Can you imagine Kakuzu watching this?” Sasori asked. “He’d storm out of the room the minute she showed signs of hating the fact that she has money.”

Deidara laughed behind Sakura. “He’d break the damn DVD.”

“Blasphemy!” Hidan mimicked what Sakura figured was Kakuzu’s voice. “She’s rich and she doesn’t want to be rich? Completely unbelievable plot. Why would they waste money on this? Who thought this was a good idea?”

Sasori and Deidara laughed at Hidan's impression. Sakura couldn't help giggling along. “He sounds like an ass.”

“He’s okay,” Deidara said after calming down.

“Seriously though, when’s the sex?” Hidan asked.

Sakura groaned. “They don’t have sex until around when the stupid ship hits the stupid ice berg. Just watch the movie.”

Hidan huffed but stayed quiet. Surprisingly he remained out in the living room until the end of the movie. Sakura thought she saw some water works from him but decided not to bring attention to it. She had other matters to attend to. Her leaning post was getting up to leave.

“Aw, come on,” Sakura whined when Deidara and Sasori both got up. Not her foot rest too! She had been so comfortable...

“Sorry,” Deidara smirked and patted her head. “Homework.”

"Uh huh," Sakura hummed sarcastically. "The vampires who don't require rest need to go do homework right this second."

Sasori chucked. "When they procrastinate until the night before they do."

Sakura shook her head and smiled. "You guys are setting a bad example you know."

"I think we'll live," Deidara said before slipping into the bedroom with Sasori following after.

Sakura sat forward uncomfortably in a silent protest. She sighed dramatically and recevied a pillow straight in the face for it.

"Was that really necessary?" Sakura asked Hidan.

"Dunno. Was the sighing necessary?" He retorted while flipping through channels on the TV.

"Well, yeah, I'm hot as balls right now and my hot air conditioning just left." Sakura giggled at her ironic play on words. She saw her opportunity and took it.

"So, what, you're just going to complain all damn night until he comes back out?" Hidan asked.

"It's a possibility," she said. Hidan didn't reply. The room was quiet for a good minute before Sakura began her dramatic sighing once again.

"Oh my fucking Jashin," Hidan cursed and got out of his seat. Sakura was expecting him to storm out but he made his way to the couch and sat behind her then pulled her back to lean against him. "Is this better?"

Sakura blinked up at him in surprise. This was rather uncharacteristic of him but Sakura wasn’t one to look a gift horse in the mouth. She smiled. "Yes, thank you very much." She settled in and got comfortable next to him.

"Good, now be quiet. I'm trying to catch up here," Hidan motioned to the program playing on the TV.

“Mhmm,” Sakura hummed in acknowledgement. She was interested to see Hidan’s reactions to the show anyhow. He had decided to give Breaking Bad a try. The pat two nights he’d been up watching the episodes nonstop. Sakura was impressed. Not needing to rest or eat made it much easier to binge watch.

Soon she found her eyelids weighed twice what they usually did. It was becoming more and more difficult to keep them open and focused on the TV. Hidan was notably more comfortable than she’d expected. With a bit more muscle there were less sharp bones that pokes out against her spine as was the case with Deidara. She let herself begin to drift off. Hidan could take carry her into her bed when he realized she was asleep. Or not. Sakura found she didn’t care whatever happened. She knew she could get a good sleep in this position or in her bed so whatever he decided she’d be happy.

So she let herself drift off to a light sleep. She was briefly aware that she was being carried after a while. When her back made contact with a bed she felt the cool being next to her pull away. Not wanting to relinquish the comfortable chill she held fast until she drifted off into a deeper slumber.

* * *

Even in the half-asleep state Sakura was in she could clearly tell it was morning. The light bombarding her eyelids was bright and warm, contrasting starkly with the ice being pressed flush against the length of her body. Why was she cuddling ice? Why does the ice feel like it’s breathing? Whose bed was she in this time?

Sakura’s arm was draped over what felt like a stomach with her other wedged between herself and the other body. One of their arms was snaked around her back.

Sakura pondered whether she should open her eyes or pretend to be asleep until they left. Since whoever she was lying next to hadn’t left by now the latter option probably wasn’t viable. Still, how did she end up in bed with another of the Akatsuki? The last thing she remembered was falling asleep on the couch with Hidan.

‘ _Ah_ ,’ Sakura thought. ‘ _Okay this makes sense now_.’

Still, what was she supposed to say? “Hello, good morning, would you like some toast”? Is this more or less awkward than a normal “the morning after”? Why had he even stayed in here? Did he come in sometime in the middle of the night? Did he stay here all night after putting her to bed? If so, why? Whatever the answers were Sakura could feel her cheeks beginning to flush.

Not a week ago did she – albeit jokingly – tell herself she’d take full advantage of the next “opportunity” that presented itself. Ideas of how to do so raced through her mind. She couldn’t help it. Their current position was all too intimate. Well, intimate for Sakura. When she’d woken up in Deidara’s bed she had thought she was alone until he appeared out of the maze of blankets. This was… Their legs were even intertwined for fuck’s sake!

Sakura couldn’t take anymore. She had to do something before her will power diminished. Opening her eyes confirmed she was at least in her own bedroom. Gently she asked, “Hidan?”

“Hm?”

“Why the hell are you in my bed?”

“You asked me to be.”

“No, really.”

“You asked me.”

Pulling herself away from him she sat up. “Now why in the world would I do that?” She looked back at him still lying down. The sight of him lazing about in her bed in the morning light made her stomach do a flip.

Hidan shrugged. “I don’t know. When I brought you in here you wouldn’t let go. Kept asking me not to leave.” He sat up with her and smirked. “How could I say no to that?”

That devilish smirk would be her undoing one of these days. It didn’t help that those violet eyes were inches away from hers again. Sakura could feel her composure waning. There was something about Hidan that made her entire being turn to soup. She could feel the blush rising to her cheeks as the warmth crept across her face. Hidan’s smirk grew.

“You’re looking a little feverish there,” Hidan spoke in a low voice and leaned closer to her. Her mouth went dry and her palms began to sweat profusely. He was driving her mad and he knew it. Hidan reached up to take her chin between two fingers. He leaned in closer and Sakura closed her eyes, unable to look at the smoldering violent any longer.

Chills ran down her spine to her toes as she felt his breath ghost over her face. She kept her eyes shut, waiting. She sucked in a breath when his weight moved forward towards her. Cold lips pressed to her forehead gently and then retreated along with the hand.

Sakura pried open her eyes to stare at Hidan who was wearing the smuggest expression she’d ever seen. The smirk on his lips nearly reached his ears. Sakura blinked and let out her breath. “I… What?”

Hidan got up and motioned to the bathroom. “Take a cold shower. Should cool you down enough.” He opened the bedroom door and peeked at her over his shoulder. “And get rid of those impure thoughts.”

Before Sakura could reply Hidan closed the bedroom door. What the hell just happened? Sakura lied down on her back and stared at the ceiling. Her heart was racing and her stomach was doing acrobatics. She glanced at her clock. There were still two hours until she had to get ready. Still she wasn’t going back to sleep. Not now. So she got up and headed to the bathroom. Maybe a cold shower would be nice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off I am oh so sorry for the late update. This month has been a helluva trip for me. Plus this chapter kept giving me sass/I had to take a hacksaw to the outline because what was supposed to happen here ended up being completely stupid. It belonged in a crack fic honestly. I like this version a lot better. Either way she was gonna wake up next to another member. And of course it's Hidan. Sneaky little Jashinist.
> 
> Next chapter should be getting things really going. I'm excited to write it. Don't be shy, leave a review! I love hearing people's thoughts on this.
> 
> I'll see you all next time!


	7. Chapter 7

Sakura let her hand hang out of the car window as Ino sped down the road. The radio was blasting music loud enough that conversation wasn’t possible. That didn’t matter. Both girls were singing at the top of their lungs and dancing in their seats. Of course Ino only let herself get carried away at stop lights. When the song ended Ino handed her phone to Sakura.

“Here, pick something.”

Sakura took the phone and looked for something upbeat and fast. They had time for one more song before arriving at their destination. Ino had asked Sakura for a night out together. They hadn’t been able to actually go out and hang out together since starting school. Sure they saw each other in between classes but it wasn’t enough. Sakura happily agreed. She missed her friend and really wanted to spend time with her for more than ten minutes.

After scrolling for a minute Sakura found the perfect song. “A Thousand Miles.”

“I can’t believe you have this,” Sakura said and selected it. Ino was about to ask what Sakura was talking about when those first light notes flittered through the speakers. The both of them broke into loud off-key singing.

When they parked at the local mall the song still hadn’t finished so they continued singing until it ended. Ino turned the music off before the next song could begin. She knew the two of them would be trapped in an endless musical if she didn’t nip it in the bud now.

“I haven’t been here, I don’t think,” Sakura said while they headed to the entrance.

“I could have sworn we went here once.” Ino replied.

Sakura shrugged. “Either way I’m glad you asked to chill tonight. I needed to get the hell out of that house.”

“Do tell,” Ino purred. She knew something was up with Sakura and her boy toys. It went further than the Valentines she’d gotten. When Ino picked Sakura up she saw that blush that dusted her cheeks when they passed by Hidan. She’d get it out of Sakura by the end of the night.

“It was – I mean it’s nothing,” Sakura shook her head.

“It was what?” Ino smirked. “Come on, you know you wanna tell me.”

“There’s too much testosterone in that house.” Sakura said.

The two of them walked through the automatic doors and Ino led them off to the right to a shoe store. “You sure that’s it? Looked like something was going on between you and Hidan.”

Sakura walked ahead of her into the store. She made a b-line to the women’s shoes and picked up the first cute pair she saw. “You should totally try these on, they’d look good on you.”

Ino laughed and took the shoe from Sakura. “Fine, you don’t have to tell me now. I’ll get it out of you later.”

“Why can’t you be a normal person and ask about school work?” Sakura asked.

“Because that’s boring,” Ino replied in a tone that said it was clearly the most obvious answer.

“Not if you can grow your own flower garden.”

“Really?” Ino raised her eyebrows.

Sakura nodded. “Yup! I didn’t even tell you yet, did I?” She giggled. “I turned my room into a rainforest the other day because the bean plant was pissing me off.”

Ino put a hand over her mouth and snorted. “How the hell did you manage that?”

“I put too much power into it. I had to have Itachi come with me to get Kurenai. She fixed it in a second.”

“Oh my god, that’s amazing.”

“Thankfully I didn’t get in trouble. Actually Kurenai gave me a book to learn how to better control my magic.”

“And?”

Sakura sat down with a box of flats to try on. “It worked. I can grow almost any simple flower or plant. It’s really fun, actually.”

With the subject changed to magic and schoolwork Sakura let herself breathe. She wasn’t sure why but talking to Ino about what happened with Hidan felt weird. She herself wasn’t even sure what it all meant. She knew Hidan wasn’t trying anything weird and that made everything all the more strange.

Disregarding Hidan’s motives, Sakura was still confused about her own feelings. It had only been three days since then so whenever Hidan was near her she would get flustered and jumble her words. It was downright pathetic in her eyes. He wasn’t acting any different. She should be doing the same. Nothing happened that night. Unlike the occasion with Deidara, they’d both had all their clothes on this time. Well, their normal amount anyways.

Perhaps it was the way it had happened. In the case with Deidara he was in there to protect her from a dangerous threat. She’d also not even known he was there for a few minutes. With Hidan she woke up _cuddling_ with him. And the reason he was in her bed was because she wouldn’t let him leave. According to him, at least. The whole thing made her stomach flip and flop.

Hidan was attractive, Sakura would admit it. Hell he was downright hot. Sakura would be lying if she said she’d never thought of him – or any of them, really – in an intimate way. On top of that he was funny and seemed to care about her at least a little bit.

There was the whole, “Ominous creepy goat ritual” thing that she’d walked in on that one time, but so far she hasn’t seen any goats in this house. She should probably ask him about that one day. Seriously what the hell was up with the body paint?

“This place doesn’t really have anything interesting,” Ino said while looking over the selection. “Let’s head a bit further down. There’s a nice shop with some really cute dresses.”

Sakura stared at Ino like she was insane. “Ino, how can you say there’s nothing interesting in here? This place has shoes with flames on them.”

Ino rolled her eyes. “Sakura isn’t that a bit middle school?”

Sakura walked over to a display shoe that had flames flickering on the side of it. She picked it up and held it out to Ino. The flames licked at Sakura’s fingers but all she felt was a comforting warmth. “Do you see this? I don’t care if it screams middle school. This is tight shit.”

Ino laughed and took the shoe from Sakura to put it back. “You always were a dork. Still, come on,” Ino took Sakura’s hand and led them out of the store. “We need to get you a dress. I know for a fact you’re lacking in that department.”

“Ino you know I don’t have money to spend on clothes,” Sakura said while trying to keep up with her energetic friend. “I came here to window shop.”

“Then I’ll buy it for you,” Ino said simply.

“Ino no way –“

“Nope!” Ino cut her off and turned her head to smile at Sakura. “I’m buying you stuff today. That was always the plan. I didn’t tell you because if I had you wouldn’t have come.”

Sakura sighed exasperatedly but smiled. Ino was always doing these kinds of things. Her family wasn’t rich per se but they were definitely upper middle class. Sakura on the other hand was at the lower end of middle class. Her family could afford necessities but it left little room for material items. That’s where Ino came in. Ever since middle school Sakura would get presents from Ino whether she wanted them or not. In the beginning Sakura would insist she didn’t need the item. If the item was extravagant enough she’d even try to return it to the store. This never worked, of course. Ino never gave Sakura the receipt for the item.

Eventually Sakura gave in. It wasn’t like Ino bought her things every week. At most Sakura received her gifts once a month. The sparse nature of her purchases allowed Ino to slowly increase the value of her gifts. At first it would be a shirt and some earrings. Soon it was a couple dresses with matching shoes. Now it was rare that Ino wouldn’t heave a trunk-full of bags into Sakura’s room with the poor girl insisting it was far too much.

“Just don’t go overboard, okay?” Sakura asked.

“Pft,” Ino scoffed. “You’ve been gone for over a year, cherry blossom. We’ll be lucky to fit in the car.”

Sakura wanted to be upset. She wanted to break into a million protests. She wanted to point out that Ino was in college and needed to save as much money as she could. She wanted to. But that smile on Ino’s face sealed her lips shut. She was lucky to have a friend like her.

The dress shop Ino wanted to visit didn’t peak either of their interests and so they headed out and down the line of shops. It wasn’t long before the two girls were enthralled in conversation. Before they knew it the two of them were surrounded by washing machines and other appliances.

“When did we walk into Sears?” Sakura asked her friend.

Ino shrugged. “Hell if I know. I mean I love you and everything but I think a dishwasher is a bit out of my price range.”

Sakura faked a pout. “But Ino! You know it’s all I ever wanted!”

“How about a dish towel?” Ino held up a package of brightly colored towels. “I mean, close enough right?”

Sakura the back of her hand to her forehead and tossed her head back dramatically. “It’s like you don’t even know me!”

The two girls giggled while finding their way out of the store. When they found the exit they were greeted with a store that made Ino grin.

“Victoria’s Secret?” Sakura asked right before Ino headed to the bright pink abyss.

“Don’t tell me you don’t want a bra from here,” Ino said. “Every girl needs a bra from here. At least one.”

“Ino you’ve already bought me one,” Sakura reminded her. “Back in like tenth grade.”

Ino paused in front of a display mannequin and looked down at Sakura’s chest and then back up at her. “Trust me. You need a new one.” She walked off towards another mannequin that was sporting a very cute yet sexy pink bra and panty set.

Sakura looked down at her chest and pursed her lips. They hadn’t gotten that much bigger. Had they?

She went over to Ino who was already flagging down a girl. She insisted that Sakura should be measured again before they went diving in. To her surprise Sakura had in fact gone up a cup size. Sure she was still on the smaller end of that scale but she’ll take it.

With the little ego boost this discovery gave her Sakura decided she’d indulge herself. She’d allow herself one of the more expensive bras as well as one of the cheaper ones from the bargain bin.

Ino wouldn’t hear of any of this.

“Sakura I told you, we’re going all out today,” Ino took the discount bra out of her hands and flung it back into the bin. She led her friend over to the front display where a cute yet sexy night dress was displayed. It was white with little purple hearts adorning the fabric in an organized pattern. Ino took the hem of the dress in her hand. “You need something like this.”

Sakura crossed her arms and gave Ino a knowing look. “Ino you know if I wore something like that I’d be confined to my room in embarrassment.”

“Or,” Ino smirked and let the dress go. “You wear it anyways and get to enjoy those boys staring at you.”

Sakura shook her head. “No way. I’ll wear anything underneath my clothes. But there’s no way I’m parading around in something like that in front of them.” She smiled slightly. “It’d be too cruel.”

Ino laughed. “Fine, but remember you asked for it.”

Sakura couldn’t honestly say she regretted asking for it. The items that Ino ended up finding for her were beautiful. One set had a white base with black lace tangling around the edges of the cups in a floral pattern with the same lining the panties. The second was a baby blue lace covering a white base with black straps. She was so excited she considered running to the bathroom to at least put on a bra. Though her common sense told her to wait until they’ve all been washed.

“Now when you let Hidan unwrap you he’ll get an even sexier present,” Ino said nonchalantly as they walked down to a clothing store.

Sakura recoiled back from Ino in surprise. She sputtered for a good few seconds before regaining her composure. Clearing her throat she returned Ino’s smug stare. “I am quite sure I have no idea what you are blabbering about.” She walked ahead of her friend and entered the store.

Ino skipped up behind her. “Oh yes you do,” she sang. “Just imagine it. A sexy birthday present. Probably the best one he’s gotten. And that’s saying something since he’s, like, a thousand.”

“He’s not _that_ old,” Sakura defended. “He’s barely over two centuries. They all are.”

Ino hummed while she looked through some shirts. “That’s still a lot of birthdays. I’m sure he’d love to unwrap you to find those little accents.”

Sakura acted as casual as she could. Ino was vying for another reaction and she wasn’t about to give it to her. “Well that would be a bit difficult seeing as I have no idea when their birthdays are.”

At this Ino stopped her perusing and stared at Sakura slack-jawed. “You? Sakura Haruno? You don’t know their birthdays?”

“Uhh, no?”

“The same Sakura Haruno who always threw us the best birthday parties?”

Sakura shrugged offering up a feeble excuse. “It just hasn’t come up?”

“Sakura,” Ino drawled out in a discontented tone. “One of the first things you asked me was when my birthday was. You made sure to celebrate it with me.”

“Ino, we were eight when I asked you,” Sakura reminded her friend. “But I guess you’re right. It would be fun to throw parties for them all.”

“And let them unwrap you,” Ino added on.

Sakura swung her pink bag in Ino’s direction. “Oh shut up,” she giggled.

Sakura hadn’t ever thought to ask them about their birthdays. They didn’t seem like the type to celebrate. At least not now. Perhaps some of them celebrated their double digit birthdays but it was doubtful any of them cared for the triple digits. After a hundred years of life she imagined it wasn't that big of a deal to have lived one more year. Most of them haven't even reached middle age yet. That's normally around the five hundred mark.

Still, Sakura knew she'd love to throw parties for the boys if she'd known when their birthdays were. Perhaps it would be a good idea. Of course she'd make sure they were all fine with it before whipping out the cake and balloons.

“Vampire parties gotta be fun, though,” Sakura said.

“The amount of alcohol they can down is astounding. That is if my memory serves me correctly. Remember that party we all went to at the end of our senior year?” Ino asked and Sakura nodded. “Yeah, well, I'm pretty sure Sasuke was on his sixth or seventh shot of vodka or something before I had even finished one wine cooler.”

“They are so paying for their own drinks,” Sakura said.

It wasn't too long after that they decided to head back home. Sakura needed to work on some homework and Ino needed help with something in her mortal studies class. According to Ino Sakura was now the all-knowing library on humans.

“I told you already. I don't know absolutely everything about their society. I'm still confused on some things,” Sakura said on the car ride back to her place.

“You at least have to know how they act around people like us,” Ino insisted.

“I dunno,” Sakura shrugged. “They really don't think we exist. From the TV shows I watched all I can gather is they'd either kill us on sight, scream a lot, or think it's the tightest shit ever. All depends on the person.”

“Would they tell others about us?”

“Sometimes, I think… But in the episodes they would always end up in some nut house for thinking magic is real.”

“That's so crazy,” Ino shook her head and sighed. “They really hate anything different from them, don't they?”

Sakura nodded. “Yeah they do.”

Ino pulled up to the curb outside the house. She grabbed a large backpack from the backseat while Sakura collected her shopping bags. They headed up the walkway to the front door. Before Sakura had the chance to even unlock the door she heard yelling coming from inside. Whoever it was sounded livid.

She opened the door and heard a few of her housemates yelling.

“This info has to be wrong.”

“What the fuck why would he do that?”

“Pein you can't be serious!”

All her housemates were gathered around one side of the dining table looking down at a laptop that was facing away from Sakura. A voice came from the computer but Itachi signaled for the speaker to be silenced.

“Sakura,” Itachi said in a higher volume than necessary. He stood up from his seat. “Welcome home.”

“Uh, thanks,” Sakura said. “Ino and I are just gonna, uh, be in my room.” She smiled and herded Ino towards her room. When they walked around behind everyone Sakura did her best to nonchalantly peek over Deidara's shoulder to get a look at whoever they had been talking to. She'd heard them say the name Pein when they walked in. They'd mentioned this man before, specifically in a way that connoted he was in a leadership role. Suffice to say she was curious. She managed a decent look at him as well as someone else that looked like a woman.

The one she assumed was Pein had bright orange hair with what had to be piercings all over his face and ears. The womanly figure behind him was in a shadow. All Sakura could make out was short blue hair and what looked like a white flower adorned above her ear.

Not wanting to intrude, she promptly headed into her bedroom with Ino and shut the door tight. She couldn't tell what they had been talking about, but it sounded important.

“They usually do that?” Ino asked.

Sakura shook her head. “No, not that I've ever seen.” It had struck her as odd that they hadn't been having meetings like this, actually. They were known as this rebellious organization bent on equality and peace and known for having a large impact upon their world. Naturally they'd need to have a family meeting here and there to keep up to date with everyone.

Perhaps they did in fact have their little rebel meetings but waited until Sakura was asleep to start up. Whatever it was, Sakura would admit she was damn curious as to what they had been talking about. The only thing she could think of would be the werewolf incident. Last she inquired, Itachi said they still didn't know who did it. Perhaps they found them? Or perhaps someone in their ranks did something they really weren't supposed to? Sakura was dying of curiosity but knew better than to attempt spying on a group of vampires. She was powerful, but not that powerful.

Ino sat down on Sakura's bed and pulled a notebook out of her large purse. “So. Do you know anything about the psychology of humans?”

Sakura slumped down into her desk chair. “All I know is some dude named Freud or something thinks every man wants to fuck his mom.”

Ino blinked and looked from Sakura to her notebook. “I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that may not be what my teacher is looking for.”

“Then read the textbook,” Sakura said and spun around to face her desk. Ino groaned but took her textbook out of the bag as well. The two girls read in silence for a while, only speaking when they needed help clarifying a statement or to ask a question. Soon the both of them got through their required chapters for the weekend and were able to finish up what little homework they'd had. Now they could spend the entire weekend relaxing.

“Are you and Sai doing anything?” Sakura asked.

Ino shrugged from her position on the bed and then laid down on her stomach. “I dunno, maybe. Could be fun to go to a park or something like that.”

“Yeah, have a picnic or something,” Sakura suggested.

“That's actually a good idea,” Ino said. “What about you?”

“Hm,” Sakura put a finger to her lips and thought about it. “The boys still haven't seen Back to the Future so maybe I'll have a movie marathon with whoever wants to join me.”

“Sounds like fun,” Ino said in a mock excited voice.

“You never did like good ol' Marty McFly did you?” Sakura teased.

“It's just so stupid,” Ino sat back up and threw out her hands. “Why in the world would you not make yourself rich with a time machine? Or change important things in history so the world would be better? I mean did Doc really just make the stupid thing to see 'beyond his years'?”

“Basically,” Sakura said.

“But, a delorian?” Ino deadpanned. “Like. Seriously?”

“Those doors are dope, though,” Sakura said.

Ino narrowed her eyes and pursed her lips, “You win this one.” She glanced down at her phone and smiled. “Speak of the devil. Sai wants to hang out, is it cool if I head out?”

Sakura smiled back. “Of course it is. Lemme know if you all do that picnic.”

Ino got up and started packing up all of her things. “Will do.”

Sakura walked her out to the front door. Ino said her hello's and goodbye's to the boys that were out there and then her farewell to Sakura. Before she turned to leave Ino managed to say in a voice louder than necessary, “And you're welcome again for the thongs and matching bras!”

“Oh my god.” Sakura put her hand to her forehead and groaned.

Ino smiled and waved before turning around to head for her car. “Love you!”

Sakura shut the door and shook her head. “You'd think having a boyfriend would keep her from trying to get _me_ laid, but oh no,” she mumbled under her breath. “She has to act like a 15 year old.” She headed towards her room but was stopped when she heard her name called from the couch. She turned around and walked over to where Itachi, Kisame, and Sasori were sitting. “What's up?”

“We apologize for earlier,” Itachi said while standing up to face Sakura. “Normally we conduct those sorts of conferences when we know you won't be disturbed.”

Sakura waved a hand dismissively. “Don't worry about it. I know what you guys are about. It's cool.”

“Still,” Sasori said from his seat on the couch, “We'll make sure that sort of thing is dealt with in a way that's considerate towards you.”

“It's gotta be weird to come home to,” Kisame added.

Sakura smiled slightly. “Well maybe a little bit. But I'm serious it's okay. If you guys are ever doing that sort of thing again I'll just head to my room until you all finish. It's no biggie.”

“It shouldn't happen again,” Itachi said. “This was an urgent circumstance.”

“I'm guessing you can't tell me what it was?” Sakura asked hoping for even a hint.

Kisame laughed, “You don't want to know, trust me.”

Sasori stood up and walked over to Sakura. “If you ever need to know anything we'll tell you.”

Sakura nodded in understanding. “Alright, I trust you all.”

“Now that you know the gist of our day, how was yours?” Sasori asked with a ghost of a smirk.

“Oh it was fine,” Sakura said and sat down on the empty love seat, stretching out to take up all the space. “Though Ino wouldn't let me get these neat shoes at the mall with flames on them.”

“How dare she,” Kisame said.

“I know, right!” Sakura threw up her hands. “It was madness I say!”

“Didn't you have flame shoes for a while there in the seventies, Kisame?” Itachi asked.

Kisame smiled proudly. “I sure did. They'd even change color if I put certain stuff on them.”

“How did I miss those?” Sasori asked.

“You were in Vietnam, remember?” Kisame said as if he were talking to a child. “Fighting commies.”

“Oh yeah,” Sasori said. He seemed as if he genuinely forgot. “I forgot about that.”

“How could you forget you served in a war?” Kisame asked.

“The same way you could forget you were there the night Abraham Lincoln died,” Sasori quipped.

Kisame smiled sheepishly and rubbed the back of his head. “What can I say? It was a good play.”

“Kisame.” Itachi said flatly. “You were literally in the booth next to him. Booth pushed you out of the way when he ran.”

Kisame shrugged. “Honestly I think I was still hammered from my party.”

Itachi chuckled. “Your birthday was a month before he died.”

“My statement still stands,” Kisame said smiling.

“Oh yeah,” Sakura remembered her conversation with Ino earlier. “When exactly are your birthdays?”

“Well mine's in March,” Kisame said.

Sakura gasped. “No way, me too. When?”

“The eighteenth.”

“Mine's literally ten days after,” Sakura said. “What about you two?”

“June,” Itachi said.

“November,” Sasori said.

“Aw, I was hoping they'd be sometime this semester.”

“Why?” Sasori asked.

“Well I was thinking that if you guys were cool with it we could throw some badass birthday parties.”

The three boys took in the statement and thought about it. It had to have been at least a century since any of them had a decent birthday party.

“Sign me up,” Kisame said. “Sounds like this year might be fun.”

Sakura smiled and stood up. “I need to start planning then. We only have a month until you turn… How old?”

Kisame put a hand to his chest and gasped. “You should never ask a lady her age!”

“Five hundred. Got it.” Sakura nodded and went to start on the outline for the party. Before she closed the door she heard Kisame say, “Seriously though, you were there for four _years_ Sasori! How do you keep forgetting?!”

Sakura sat down at her desk and let herself ponder the fact that Sasori had served in a war for what she assumed was the USA. Either it was so dreadfully boring that he couldn't be bothered to recall the details or he was forgetting on purpose. Sasori was a tough cookie but Sakura hoped it was the former option. She made a mental note to ask him about it whenever she got the chance.

For the moment she had a party to start planning. Presently all she knew about Kisame's interests were that he liked swords and obviously enjoyed drinking. These two things wouldn't do well mixed together. Focusing on just one would probably get her further. And since she knew next to nothing about swords it looked like drinking was the big winner. Easy as pie. She started looking up ideas online and before she knew it her clock was in the AM half of the day and she was trying her hardest to keep her eyes open. Reluctantly she saved what she had and started getting ready for bed. She was out before her head hit the pillow.

~Drip. Drip. Drip. _Crash_.~

Sakura knew she was dreaming. While it was normal to be on a morning jog in the rain it was not normal for the rain to be gently falling from right in front of her. The sideways rain wasn't harsh and there was barely any wind, yet there it went. She wondered idly if this horizontal rain had any important meaning or if it was saying something about her recent thoughts, subconscious or otherwise. Eventually she figured that, no, it had no significant meaning and it was just weird to be weird.

After what had to be another five miles of running in weird rain Sakura wondered if she could change up the dream to at least give herself some sunlight. When she commanded the clouds to clear they began to inch away and reveal sunlight. Right as it was about to fully envelop her in warmth the clouds crashed back together in a thunderous clap and rained down upon her a waterfall of horizontal, ice cold water.

Opening her eyes Sakura sat up straight in her bed to find that she was not only soaked but so was her bed. And the water was still coming. She screamed and pushed herself off of the bed then looked up to see that a pipe had burst right above her bed and was spraying water. She leaned forward again to grab her phone that had managed to escape a direct hit by being underneath her pillow. Quickly she scanned to see if anything else had been in the firing range. Lucky for her no expensive items – of hers – were ruined. However the mattress was taking on a ton of water. It began spilling over the sides onto the floor. The pipe was also spraying all over the wall opposite of her computer desk. While she was happy for this lucky break she was also witnessing her dresser being doused with its own torrent of water.

Realizing she could easily salvage the clothes after the pipe had been taken care of she ran to her bedroom door and flung it open. To her surprise Tobi and Deidara were already coming over to her room. She pointed back to the pipe.

“Fix it, fix it, fix it, fix it, fix it, fix it!” She yelled.

“I'll go get someone,” Tobi said before sprinting through the front door.

Sakura put a hand to her forehead while she stared at the disaster that was her room. She walked backwards out through the door in a state of disbelief. “This isn't happening,” she muttered.

“It's okay,” Deidara put a hand on her shoulder. “All of your stuff will be fine.”

Sakura ran a hand through her hair and turned around to face Deidara. She was at a loss for words. Her room was slowly turning into a swimming pool and the sun wasn’t even up. On top of that she was starting to shiver. Tobi had left the front door open on his run out and the cold air was blowing in. The ice cold air on her legs reminded her that she was not wearing pants – a normal part of her sleeping attire.

“Hey, do you have anything I could put on?” She asked Deidara. Presently she was far too cold and tired to care about her half-exposed cheeks.

“Of course,” Deidara said and ran over to his room.

While she waited for him to return Sakura turned back to face her bedroom. The water had started seeping through the carpet. It was making its way closer to the doorway. Before it got more than a foot close the pipe suddenly stopped ejecting water.

“You look like shit.” Sakura turned around and saw Hidan leaning against his door frame. His eyes wandered down to her chest and he smirked. “Well maybe not all of you.”

Sakura crossed her arms and scowled. She was not in the mood for this. “Bite me,” she said in a hard tone.

Hidan ignored her and gestured to the bedroom. “What happened?”

“The house is trying to drown me,” Sakura said.

“Okay, I got you something,” Deidara returned from the bedroom and gave her a shirt and some sweat pants. “They're a little big but you can tighten the waistband on the pants.”

Sakura took them and smiled. “Thank you, really. I'll go put these on.” She turned around and went to the bathroom. When she came back out Tobi was talking to Deidara and Sasori.

“What's the status?” Sakura asked.

“There isn't anyone there right now,” Tobi explained. “The administration building isn't going to be open for another two hours.”

“Why can't we just call a plumber ourselves?” Deidara asked.

“Because then we'd have to pay for it,” Sasori said. “The school is supposed to pay to fix this sort of thing.”

“So then why did the pipe stop?” Sakura asked.

“I was able to turn off the water valve,” Tobi said.

“You mean until someone comes to fix it we can't use any water?” Hidan asked.

“Yup,” Tobi affirmed. “We should dry off your things, Sakura.”

“Okay,” Sakura agreed. When they walked into the room they saw that the majority of the water fell over the bed, her dresser, and bookshelf. Quickly Sakura ran to the shelf and grabbed as many books as she could. Arms full, she pushed her way to the bathroom. The books were thrown down in haste and Sakura returned to the bedroom to gather the remaining texts. Her textbooks issued by the school had all survived on her desk. These sopping wet piles of goo came out of her own pocket. When she had all the books laid out on the floor she retrieved her hair dryer from under the sink.

“Hey Tobi,” Sakura called into the bedroom. “Could you dry off these books with this?” She held up the device.

“Of course!” Tobi nodded and took the hair dryer from Sakura’s hold.

While he worked on the books Sakura began taking her clothes out of the dressers. She got halfway through the contents when the laundry basket was full. She lugged it out to the washing machine and dumped the items in. With that going she knew she’d at least have to lay out the rest of her clothing items.

Since most of her room’s surfaces were soaking wet Sakura had to bring her clothing out to the kitchen table. She would have used her hair dryer to dry them but her books were a bit more important right now. Hell, she’d like to have that hair dryer pointed straight at her body. Sakura wrapped her arms around herself, shivering. The clothes Deidara had given her were terrific but they didn’t stop her hair and underwear from being freezing cold. Sure she could forgo the panties but something about having her bare vagina on her roommate’s sweat pants didn’t sit well with her. At least she could put her hair up.

After getting all her clothes laid out she made a b-line for the couch. To her (dis?)pleasure Hidan was taking up half of the three-person piece of furniture. Sakura stood in front of him and spoke in the kindest voice she could manage. “Hidan, could you pretty, pretty please get up so I can take a nap until my clothes are dry?” Maybe if she was nice he’d give her what she wanted.

Hidan spared her a quick glance then gestured to the love seats. “Use one of those.”

Sakura’s stare veered off into a glare for only a moment. “Hidan. Those are too small for me.”

“Sucks to be you,” Hidan smirked.

_‘_ _Fuck this,_ _’_ Sakura thought. She plopped her ass in the middle of the couch and laid down with her legs on Hidan’s lap.

“What the fuck?” Hidan asked.

“Shh,” Sakura silenced him. “Sleep time.”

“Tch,” Hidan leaned back in his seat and focused again on the TV. “Mortals.”

It didn’t take her long to fall asleep. It felt like even less time when she was being gently shaken.

“Sakura,” she heard Deidara’s voice say softly. “Sakura. Your clothes are done.”

“Nyeh,” Sakura groaned and cracked her eyes open and saw Deidara looking down at her. “Already?”

He nodded, “Yeah. And the administration is sending someone over soon.”

Sakura made to sit up and realized her legs were still on top of Hidan’s lap. She swung them off of him and stood up. “Thanks for letting me sleep.”

Hidan waved her off. “Don’t mention it.”

Sakura smiled to herself. Hidan could be a huge prick but he could also be nice when he wanted. By now the TV had been shut off and Hidan seemed to have been staring off into space while sitting down. He could have gotten up at any time and shoved her off of him but he let her sleep. A blush began to creep up to her cheeks as she recalled the night she’d spent sleeping next to him. She turned and headed for the dryer before she could dwell long enough to turn the same shade as her hair. “Okay, well, I’ll go get the stuff out of the dryer.”

“They’re actually on the kitchen table,” Deidara said. “I would have put them in your room, but I figured that’d be a bit counterproductive, hm.”

“Oh,” Sakura looked over at the table and saw the basket sitting there. She shrugged and emptied the basket onto the table to begin folding the clothing. Against her better judgement she’d put all of her undergarments into the first load. She had reasoned that this way she wouldn’t have her panties laying out in plain view on the kitchen table. She’d forgotten that now she’d need to fold them up out here. If she’d wanted she could go into the bathroom or something but that felt excessive for simple laundry folding. So instead she tossed the undergarments into the basket to be folded later. Who cared of they got wrinkled right now?

After getting everything folded she picked out an outfit for the day and went to the bathroom to change everything. She stuck the dirty clothes in the corner of the laundry basket and set that in a dryer area of her bedroom. It wasn’t long after that that the man showed up. Sakura wanted to be the one to talk to him about her room but she knew that nothing the man said would sink in right now. She’d had barely any sleep that night. Instead, Itachi spoke with the man while Sakura sat down on the couch. It wasn’t long before Sakura contemplated taking a quick power nap.

Just as she was about to doze off Itachi sat down next to her, “So they’ll have the pipe fixed by the end of the day…”

Sakura was glad to hear this but knew by the tone of his voice that wasn’t all that needed said. “But…?”

“But it’s going to take a week to make the room livable again.”

Sakura put her fingers to her forehead and rubbed small circles. “A week?”

“It would be sooner but they can’t get anyone out until Monday,” Itachi said slowly. Sakura was obviously not happy. It wasn’t surprising but definitely understandable.

“You can stay in one of our rooms until yours is okay again,” Tobi said. “We don’t sleep so it’s okay.”

Hidan stood up so fast Sakura didn’t catch it. One second he was sitting down minding his own business and the next he was screaming and flailing his arms around. “Fuck no! She is not taking my fucking room _again!_ ”

“She’d only be sleeping in there,” Tobi reassured. “Our room is the logical option since it connects to the same bathroom.”

“No fucking way!” Hidan shook his head and waved his arms side to side. “She’s already slept in Deidara’s bed, let her sleep there!”

“Hidan, she’ll sleep in my bed, okay?” Tobi said. “Will that work?”

“Tch, fine.” Hidan conceded. “But I better not find you on my side,” he pointed at Sakura trying to seem threatening.

“Kay,” Sakura said and headed into the room.

“Where the hell are you going?!” Hidan asked. He’d expected her to retaliate in some form. Call him stupid for thinking she’d purposefully go to his bed. Something.

Sakura stopped and turned back to Hidan. “I’m going to bed. I got all of three hours of sleep last night. Normal mortal bodies need around eight. And it’s Saturday. People who are up at 6am on Saturday are people who are sad.” Before Hidan could say anything else Sakura went into their room. Not knowing which bed was Tobi’s she laid down on the closest one. She had a 50/50 shot at getting it right after all. If it ended up being Hidan’s then she would walk over to the other one. Something told her she would have to do just that in a few hours. As she snuggled up to the pillow she recognized the scent that was distinctly Hidan. She was soon dead to the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One: I am so, so, so, so x100 sorry for the SUPER late update. I am so so sorry but things have been blah here. For two weeks I wasn't even home and for a week of that I wasn't even in my state lmao. And half of the other days I was dying of dog allergies and the other half I didn't have motivation to finish this. Agh.
> 
> Two: Oh I guess I didn't have a two... Ha. Well if you all notice it's been a while since I updated then I don't mind if you nudge me along! Seriously just don't be rude about it! You can totally either message me here or on my tumblr [ .com]. Tbh talking about my fics gives me motivation to do them lmao.
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed this one and I swear I still want to write this. I'm just having some difficulties actually doing it. I know what I want to happen I just don't know how to put it to paper. Don't worry though. This will be "complete" one way or another. I won't abandon this one! Even if I have to write a 20k final chapter to wrap it all up!
> 
> As always review lovelies! Your thoughts are always great to hear! I hope to see you very, very soon!


	8. Chapter 8

Sakura rubbed her eyes sleepily and looked up at the screaming man standing next to her. She couldn’t process who it even was for a moment. His identity became clear when he began raving and ranting about her being in “his” bed. Frustrated Sakura shoved the pillow over her head to block out his voice. It worked for all of two seconds before he ripped it from her grip.

“I let you take my room, but there’s no fucking way you’re getting my damn bed!” He continued. “Seriously I need something that’s still mine. I’m not gonna go spoon Tobi. Go get in his damn bed!”

“Hiiidaaan…” Sakura whined and covered her head with the sheets. “You’re a vampire. You don’t even sleep.”

“No but I do sit, now get up.” Hidan grabbed the sheets and pulled them down. Sakura winced at the loss of warmth. “It’s noon for fuck’s sake. You can’t sleep all damn day.”

“Already?” Sakura sat up and ran a hand through her tangled hair. “Damn I was hoping I could get a bit more sleep.”

“Then get in Tobi’s bed.”

Sakura stood up and shook her head. “With you in here? No way.” She stretched her arms up and made an obnoxiously loud groan.

Hidan rolled his eyes. “You’ve literally slept next to me. I’m not gonna do anything, seriously.”

“That’s not what I meant,” Sakura snapped at him. “It’s weird sleeping when someone else is in the room.”

“Then why did you sleep in the living room earlier?” Hidan asked.

“Exhaustion, for one,” Sakura said and then yawned. As much as she wanted to go back to sleep she knew it was time to wake up. “Is the water back on yet?”

“They just fixed it like five minutes ago,” Hidan nodded in the direction of her bedroom.

“Sweet,” she went to her room and grabbed some clothes out of the laundry basket and brought them into the bathroom to change into after nice hot shower. Her hair was still slightly damp from her rude awakening at dawn so she was still pretty cold.

Sakura started up the water and while that heated up she undressed and then set up her phone to play some music. Warm bliss accompanied by happy music sounded like heaven right now. On top of the pipe incident she was also stressed out about her classes. Sure she was doing fantastic with her magic but her anatomy classes were starting to weigh on her. She kept mixing up werewolf and vampire parts and pieces. Most nights she had her nose stuck in a textbook trying to learn the difference between werewolf and vampire immortality. The basic idea is easy to grasp but the little details are where she always has trouble.

Sakura shook her head and got in under the warm water. It was Saturday and all her homework for the weekend was done. She didn’t need to think about school right now. She was prepared for all tests that have been announced and completed all projects that needed done. This weekend was going to be nothing but relaxation and chill.

As she let herself soak her phone continued to play on shuffle. Sakura made sure this set of shower songs were upbeat and fast. Sure it probably wasn’t the best idea to dance in the shower but that didn’t stop her. The idea of her roommates on the other side of near paper-thin walls also didn’t deter her from singing at the top of her lungs. It was the perfect way to perk up in the morning when coffee wasn’t available. Her favorite songs were actually ones her mortal friends introduced her to. They were all so much different from the music in her own world. Some she’d say were actually better. They had more of a fun, cut-loose vibe to them than ones here. Most of the music in her world was stuck in past centuries. Suffice to say she felt like a bit of a rebel listening to some of this music.

“I’m talkin’ bout everybody getting crunk, crunk. Boys tryna touch my junk, junk. Gonna smack him if he getting too drunk, drunk,” Sakura sang as she squeezed conditioner on her hands to lather into her hair. As she ran her fingers through her hair she swayed her hips to the beat.

“Now, now we gon’ ‘til they kick us out, out. Or the police shut us down, down. Police shut us down, down. Po-po shut us – What the fuck?!” Sakura screamed when she heard one of the bathroom doors slam open.

“Don’t stop, make it pop,” she heard a male voice continue the lyric while they walked across the bathroom to the toilet. “DJ, blow my speakers up. Tonight, Imma fight, ‘til we see the sunlight.”

“Hidan!” Sakura screamed and instinctively covered her chest even though she knew there was no way he would have been able to see her. “What the literal _fuck_ are you doing?” She screeched in a high pitched voice.

“Taking a fucking piss,” he answered. “I haven’t been able to since you broke the water.”

“Then why didn’t you go before I got in the shower?” Sakura asked, frustrated.

“Didn’t have to.”

“There’s another fucking bathroom!” She hollered.

“It’s in fucking use,” Hidan retorted, getting frustrated as well. “Fucking shit chill out, seriously.”

“I most certainly will fucking not!” Sakura replied. She wondered if she should risk a peek out to give him a death glare to emphasize her point. When she heard liquid hitting liquid outside of the shower she decided that, no, she didn’t need to risk that. “ _HIDAN!”_ She screamed again.

Before he could reply to complain about his now blown out ear drum the other door slammed open and she heard a couple voices coming from it.

“Hidan what the fuck are you doing in here?”

“Put your fucking dick away, hm!”

“Sakura are you alright?”

Sakura rubbed her temples. All she wanted was a nice relaxing shower with fun music. Oh right, the music. She reached her arm out from behind the curtain to shut her phone off so the room wasn’t being blasted with party music.

“I’m fine, but why does everyone insist on being in here while I’m showering??” Sakura said. At this point she may as well continue. So, while the boys argued mere feet away Sakura grabbed her body puff and soap and started to wash her ripe armpits.

“Can’t a guy fucking piss in peace?” Hidan asked.

“Not when someone is taking a shower in that bathroom,” Kisame’s voice said.

“We do it all the fucking time,” Hidan defended.

“Yeah when the other person also has a dick, hm,” Deidara said in an exasperated tone. Sakura could imagine the eye roll that earned him from Hidan.

“Come on,” Kisame said and Sakura heard his footsteps go in the direction of Hidan.

“Fuck you I’m not done,” Hidan said.

“Yeah, you are,” Kisame said in a tone of finality.

“Get off of me!” Hidan called out.

“I will when you get out of the damn bathroom,” Kisame said sounding strained. Sakura could hear heavy footfalls and grunting. After rinsing off the suds she decided to peek around the curtain to see just what was going on.

Kisame had his arms wrapped around Hidan’s torso, pinning his arms down. They were facing away from her as Kisame attempted to push Hidan out of the bathroom. Deidara was standing to the side out of Kisame’s way.

Just as Kisame got to the entryway Hidan kicked his legs up so his feet were against the doorframe. He pushed back as hard as he could to catch Kisame off balance. It worked and Kisame stumbled backwards towards the shower and Sakura. Thankfully she was standing to the side and had the sense about her to pull the shower curtain close to her body.

Kisame crashed backwards into the tub and caused the pole holding up the shower curtain to fall down. The curtain was half stuck under Kisame and half covering up Sakura. Hidan had managed to escape just in time and had already made his way back to the toilet.

Sakura stared dumbfounded in Hidan’s direction. He couldn’t seriously think that was still a good idea?

_Zip!_

He did. He thought he could still get away with this incredibly ludicrous and shortsighted act. Well, he’d just have to learn the hard way not to fuck with Sakura Haruno’s relaxation time.

“Hidan, you pull that dick out and I swear to God I will rip it off,” Sakura said in as even a tone as she could manage.

“I’d like to see you try,” Hidan turned his head to smirk at her.

The courts will see that the victim antagonized the defendant and clearly invited her to act in any fashion she saw fit.

Sakura yanked a good bit of the shower curtain out from under Kisame before it ripped. In one swift movement she got the curtain off the pole and wrapped around her body. She focused her magic into her fists and then ran full force at Hidan. Not expecting her to take the offensive so quickly he was caught off guard but still managed to move out of the way of her fist before it made contact with his face. Expecting him to dodge Sakura turned on the ball of her foot and let her other fist swing around. Hidan was quick but Sakura managed to clip his chin before he was totally out of range.

“Shit!” Hidan hollered and held his face. “What the fuck?!”

Sakura was too busy holding her almost-broken hand to hear him. “Fuck! Is your face made of diamonds?!”

Kisame came over quickly to look at Sakura’s hand while Deidara laughed his lungs out behind them.

“She fucking decked you! Oh my god I wish I had recorded that, hm,” Deidara hollered.

“Shut up you idiot,” Kisame called back to Deidara then took Sakura’s hand in his own to look at it. “Does it hurt when you move it?”

Sakura hesitantly opened and closed her hand then shook her head. “No, it’s just a steady dull bunch of ow.”

“Did you keep your thumb on the outside of your fist?” Kisame asked.

Sakura nodded. “Yeah.”

“You should be okay then,” Kisame assured.

“Can I rinse my hair now?” Sakura asked and pulled the shower curtain closer around her body.

“Uh, yeah, sure,” Kisame got up and grabbed Hidan’s arm. “Come on, dumbass.” He looked over to Deidara. “You too.”

Deidara stood up and took a deep breath. “Right, coming.” He shut the door behind him leaving Sakura in the now peaceful bathroom.

“Idiots,” Sakura muttered then threw the shower curtain aside and pulled the pole out of the tub. Everything was put in a corner and she finished her shower without incident.

“I suppose I should thank Kisame,” Sakura said to herself while blow drying her hair. Sure he was unsuccessful getting Hidan out of here but he still tried. And he didn’t try looking down her makeshift dress unlike a certain artist. She’d be sure to let Deidara know he wasn’t as slick as he thought.

Sakura vaguely wondered how Hidan’s chin was doing. Her own hand was still throbbing but the feeling was dulling minutely over time. With her current understanding of vampiric healing abilities she wouldn’t feel bad even if she’d broken his jaw. As far as she could tell an injury like that would heal by the end of the day. Though if she’d caused that much damage she wouldn’t have walked away with her hand intact.

It would’ve been worth it.

Once fully dry and ready for the day Sakura headed straight for the kitchen. All this commotion had made her hungry. On her way there she passed by Sasori. He held up his hand for a quick high-five which she gladly granted him.

“What was that for?” She asked.

“Hidan needed a good punch,” Sasori said and walked off to sit on the couch.

“Makes sense,” Sakura said then made her way into the kitchen. While she rifled through the fridge for anything that wasn’t red she heard footsteps walking towards her.

Sakura looked to her left out of the corner of her eye. Kisame and Deidara looked down at her crouching form.

“Sup,” Sakura nodded up to them.

Deidara was covering his mouth trying to hide giggles of pure glee. Kisame elbowed him in the side, “Shut it would you? It’s not that funny.”

“It’s the best thing that’s happened all semester,” Deidara said.

“What?” Sakura stood up.

“You put Hidan in the fucking hospital, hm,” Deidara began laughing again.

“I – what?” Sakura was genuinely surprised. She hadn’t hit him that hard, had she?

Kisame elbowed Deidara again. “It’s not as bad as it sounds. The nurse said he’ll be fine by tomorrow.”

“Did I break his fucking jaw or something?” Sakura asked and closed the refrigerator door.

“Nothing like that,” Kisame shook his head. “You just gave him a hell of a bruise.”

“He almost looks like Zetsu,” Deidara pointed out.

“Damn, Sakura,” Sasori’s voice came from the couch.

Even though the boys were all taking this lightly Sakura couldn’t help the feeling that she’d fucked up in a huge way. It was not possible that Hidan wouldn’t get her back for this. And she was sleeping in his room now.

Sakura grabbed the edge of the counter to steady herself. Hidan was going to be so pissed. She was going to die tonight. Better go get her affairs in order. Say goodbye to her friends and family. She was a goner.

“Hey, are you okay?” Deidara stepped forward and put his hand on Sakura’s.

“He’s going to fucking kill me,” Sakura muttered. Flashbacks of that weird ritual in the Uchiha mansion flooded her mind. “My blood’s gonna be the stuff covering that whacked out body paint now. He’s gonna put my head on a spike or something.”

Deidara moved his hand up to rest on her shoulder. “Sakura, Hidan’s not going to kill you.”

Sakura looked up at him wide-eyed. “Are you sure?”

“Trust me,” he made a face of disgust. “Killing you is definitely not on his agenda.”

Sakura knit her brows together and tilted her head to the side. “Then…what’s with the face?”

Deidara forced a smile and patted her shoulder. “You don’t want to know.”

Sakura did in fact want to know. Unfortunately Kisame cut her off before her interrogation could start, “Look we want to apologize for everything that happened. Let us make it up to you somehow.”

Sakura looked between the two boys not really sure what to say. How exactly do you make up for an incident like that? It’s not like she could give anyone a taste of their own medicine and there wasn’t anything to replace or compensate for. Well except for her hand and mental scaring. Sakura wasn’t 100% sure, but for a moment she thought her virgin eyes had been defiled. Normally in court something like that is paid off. She laughed despite herself. Yeah, that’s how they’d make it up to her. Pay her off.

“What’s so funny?” Deidara asked.

Sakura waved her hand. “Oh, nothing. I just deserve some sort of compensation for this mentally scaring incident,” she said in a sarcastic voice. “I mean how else am I supposed to push it out of my mind except with material objects?”

“Alright,” Kisame leaned back against the counter and shrugged. “That works.”

Sakura turned to him and then looked around, confused. “Uh. I was just joking.”

“Yeah but I’m not. Look if you want we’d be happy to take you to get a TV or something,” Kisame said.

“Okay a TV’s a bit much,” Sakura said.

“Then a hair dryer,” Kisame offered up.

“I already have one?” Sakura joked. “Look it’s okay. Hidan got punched in the face, that’s all I needed.”

“Oh come on Sakura. It would be fun, hm,” Deidara said.

“You two wanna go shopping with a girl?” Sakura raised her eyebrows. “Seriously?”

“Is there something terrible about that?” Deidara asked genuinely unaware of how modern females normally shop.

“It’s just… Most guys would rather jump off of a cliff than go shopping with a girl. Even if they’re married.” Sakura explained.

“They must not like their wives then,” Kisame said.

“Yeah, come on, you need a day out, hm. You’ve been in your room studying nonstop. I haven’t seen you leave except for school and that one day you went out with Ino,” Deidara said.

“Exactly, I already went out with Ino. She bought me some stuff. It’s okay,” Sakura assured. Being doted on by your best friend is one thing but these two? No way.

“Sakura,” Sasori’s voice came from the living room again. “You need to get out of the house.”

“You know what?” Sakura crossed her arms. “Make me. If you guys are so desperate to make me get out then – Hey!!”

Kisame picked the girl up and hoisted her over his shoulder. “You heard her. Sasori, get the keys. Your car’s the only one out there.”

Sakura rested her elbow against Kisame’s shoulder blade and placed her head in her hand. “Is this necessary?”

“Yes,” Kisame said.

“But I’m still hungry,” Sakura complained.

“We’ll get something at the food court,” Sasori said as he walked past them with keys in hand.

“Food court?” Sakura asked. “Where the hell are we going?”

“The mall, of course,” Sasori said.

Sakura started squirming in Kisame’s hold. “I thought you guys would just take me to Walmart and buy me a mug! We’re not going to the mall!”

“I do believe we are,” Deidara said from behind Kisame. Sakura glared at him. He flashed her a smirk as they walked out of the house.

“So why am I the one driving?” Sasori asked and unlocked the car.

“Because Itachi and Tobi took their car to go to some family shindig or whatever,” Deidara explained.

“And what about yours?”

“Shit’s broke,” Deidara said.

“Is it still your brakes?” Kisame asked and opened the backseat door. He placed Sakura down on the ground and gestured for her to get in. Knowing she’d never make it to the house before him she complied. Kisame went around and started to get in on the other side but stopped. “I’m not fitting back here.”

Deidara got out from the passenger seat. “Here, I’ll sit back there.”

“Thanks,” Kisame got in the front passenger seat. Because of his gigantism the seat had to be as far away from the dashboard as possible. This left no leg room for Deidara so he had to sit in the middle seat in the back right next to Sakura.

“Hope you don’t mind,” Deidara said.

“Nope,” Sakura replied trying not to get flustered. If she let her mind wander this ride would be very uncomfortable – for her at least.

Deidara looked forward again, “And, yeah, Kisame it’s still the brakes. The damn thing won’t stop like it’s supposed to.”

“Get it towed,” Kisame said.

“One day,” Deidara said.

“It’s almost been half a year,” Sasori said. “That thing’s gonna need more than brakes when you finally get it up to the mechanic.”

“Meh,” Deidara shrugged.

It wasn’t long until they were pulling into a parking lot at the mall. Sakura had come up with a fool proof plan on the way here to deal with the boys. If they wanted to buy her things then she’d simply not say she wanted anything. They’d window shop and look at clothes and shoes and she’d take forever trying things on only to discard everything and move on to the next store. It wouldn’t be long until they were looking for any excuse to go back home.

As they walked through the entrance Sakura was greeted with the delicious aromas coming from the food court. Her plan could wait until her stomach was full. Without notice she veered off and made a b-line for Chinese food place. As she looked through the menu she reached down instinctively to check how much money she had on her. When her hand found no purse hanging off of her body or a wallet in her pocket she groaned.

“Forget something?” Kisame asked from behind her.

Sakura turned around. “You did that on purpose.”

Kisame pointed to himself. “Me? Do what? Make sure we’ll have to pay? Nonsense.” Sakura pouted but Kisame simply laughed and nodded up to the menu. “What do you want?”

Sakura crossed her arms fully prepared to go on a hunger strike. However her mind and her stomach were on two different wavelengths. Not even a minute passed when Sakura walked forward to get in line for her food. “Idiots,” she mumbled.

“Heard that,” Sasori said.

Sakura stuck her tongue out at him. “Shouldn’t you guys get some food too? Or blood or whatever?”

“We did this magical thing called eating lunch at home,” Deidara said. “You should try it sometime.”

“That sounds fantastic,” Sakura drawled out. “If only I hadn’t been dragged from the kitchen.”

Kisame looked at her like she was crazy. “I have no idea what you’re insinuating.”

Sakura pretended the three of them weren’t there as she ordered her food. Once she was handed her food she walked off and let one of them pay for the order. When they all settled down at a table Kisame and Sasori continued to nag Deidara about his screwed up car. That coupled with her hunger made Sakura eat as quickly as she could without choking. When her plate was cleared she dumped it into the garbage and headed off in whatever direction tickled her fancy. Her plan to act as obnoxious as possible whilst shopping was still in play. She walked into the first clothing shop she saw and was glad to see it was a reasonable size.

Sakura looked back at her groupies and smiled sweetly. “This might take a while.”

“We have all day,” Kisame replied with an equally sweet grin.

“Whatever you say,” Sakura sang. Slowly she made her way through the selections pretending to weigh her options. Halfway through she realized the items in this store were actually really cute. Why hadn’t Ino and her come through this store? The jeans alone were to die for. Nonchalantly Sakura glanced down at her first price tag of the day. She was just curious, of course. Definitely wasn’t considering a new pair of jeans. No way.

When she saw that the pair was $50 Sakura dropped the price tag as if it burned her. No way. If she was going to let herself slip and treat herself it was going to be with something under $15. The only spot she’d find something of that price would be the clearance rack. She made her way over to the small selection. Sometimes she’d find a gem in here but more often than not the clearance rack had atrocities that should never have seen a sewing machine. Sakura made a face at the rack, cursing other girls for buying up all the good things from the previous line of clothes. When she finally found something that spoke to her it was two sizes too small. Sakura only had to hold the shorts up to her waist to know that her thighs would never fit into the small holes. Upset, she put the hanger back on the rack.

“Why are you looking at this stuff?” Deidara asked leaning against the rack.

Sakura crossed her arms. “Because.”

Deidara gestured with his hand to continue. “Because? Are you seriously going to look at the reject clothing when you have a free pass to get whatever you want, hm?”

Sakura nodded. “If you all want to buy me things, fine. But it’s not going to be a pair of jeans that’s fifty freakin’ bucks.”

Deidara smirked. “Oh so that’s your plan? Well then…” He looked around the store until his eyes fell on a particular section. “You keep looking around here,” he told Sakura. “I’ll be back in a sec.”

Sakura didn’t try to protest. She knew he’d be across the store before she could. “What’s with them…?” Frankly she couldn’t figure out why in the world they were all going to such lengths to treat her like this. Sure this morning wasn’t the best she’s ever had but did that really mean she deserved hundreds of dollars’ worth of stuff? She didn’t think so. “Why are you guys so determined to buy me off?” She asked Kisame who was trying to figure out why the hell a pair of jeans was full of holes.

“You deserve nice shit,” Kisame said looking up from the article of clothing. “And to be honest this is the best idea any of us had. I had no clue how to let you know we were sorry for what happened.”

“Say sorry?” Sakura suggested.

“Shut up, you know what I mean,” Kisame said.

“Okay but why are you guys so okay with spending a crap ton of money? I mean you could have easily bought me a mug or whatever and that would have done the trick,” Sakura said.

“Well, we have a “crap ton” of money lying around collecting dust in our bank accounts. It’s been sitting there for decades.”

“Then buy yourself stuff?” Sakura suggested, confused. Why would they ever want to spend all that money on her instead of themselves?

“Sakura,” Sasori cut in. “I’m over three centuries old. Do you honestly think I haven’t bought myself everything I’ve ever wanted at least once in my life?”

“Okay but this is also the 21st century,” Sakura said. “Go get a laptop or an iPod or whatever. Get Deidara a new car for Pete’s sake!”

“He’d just break it again,” Sasori said.

Kisame walked forward and put a hand on Sakura’s shoulder. “We’re fine with buying you this stuff. We have plenty of money. The organization pays for our schooling. Act like a normal person and be selfish for a day.”

Sakura chewed the inside of her cheek while she thought about what they were saying. Part of her wanted oh so badly to throw sensibility to the wind and go insane with their money. That part of her wanted to go to the most expensive shops in this mall and buy herself the things she’s always longed for – clothing or otherwise. She wanted to, but the part of her that learned to never take friends for granted was screaming at her to not let them shower her with material objects.

Then again why was she so against them wanting to do this stuff? Obviously they really were fine with it or else they wouldn’t have dragged her out here. They wouldn’t have continued to tell her over and over again that it was fine. They wouldn’t be trying to convince her over and over. Deidara wouldn’t be off buying her who-knows-what at who-knows-what-price. On top of all that they did seem to have a larger-than-normal amount of money stashed away…

Before she could finish her contemplation Deidara came back with a small bag and handed it to her. “Here.”

Sakura took it hesitantly and looked inside. There was a small square velvet box. She took it out of the bag and looked up at Deidara confused. “Uh…?”

“Open it dummy,” Deidara said.

Sakura opened up the little box to see a ring with a metal backing and a colorful band. “Deidara?” She looked up at him confused. Why the hell was he giving her a ring?

“Sasori was telling me about those flame shoes you wanted. I figured your taste was a bit more…eccentric than normal, hm,” Deidara explained.

Sakura took the ring out of the box and examined it. The colorful band was swirling and slowly going from one color to another. There was only one kind of ring that made those particular patterns. She put the ring on her right hand and watched as it went from multi-colored to a deep purple and smiled. When she was younger Sakura had wanted this silly little trinket but her parents didn’t think it was worth spending money on. Her mother had said, “You know how you feel. You don’t need a ring to tell you.”

Still smiling, Sakura jumped forward to give Deidara a bear hug. “Thank you! It’s awesome!”

He laughed and hugged her back. “You’re welcome.” Sakura missed the look Deidara gave Kisame and Sasori.

Kisame crossed his arms and glared down at Deidara. “Well if that’s the kinda stuff you’re interested in I know the perfect shop for you.”

Sakura turned back to Kisame. “Yeah? Where?”

Kisame grinned. “Follow me.” The four of them walked out of the shop and down the long stretch of mall until they reached an escalator. Up on the second floor there was a little shop nestled in between a large men’s wear store and a salon. From the outside it didn’t look like much but once Sakura started looking at the individual items inside she couldn’t stop her excitement from boiling over.

Since most shops in this mall had stores that were found in the human world they didn’t have magical items for sale. This shop was nothing but magical knick knacks and baubles. It took Sakura an hour to look at each item and figure out what it did. It took her another half hour to figure out what items she wanted since she’d already forgotten half of what she’d looked at. Whenever she found an interesting item it was pushed out of her mind by the next amazing piece of magic.

By the end of her excursion to this shop she had armfuls of bags. Sensibilities be damned, she needed a shirt that had whales and turtles literally swimming on it.

“Think you have enough?” Sasori joked while watching Sakura try to walk out of the store with her bags.

“I dunno, man, you may need to bring me back here,” she said. “I mean they have stuff I never thought would exist. A book full of spells that will cook for me? The ocean shirt? This shop is the tits.”

“You need any help there?” Kisame asked.

Sakura shook her head. “No, and anyways you have enough yourself.” She nodded to the bags adorning Kisame’s arms. She hadn’t been the only one to treat themselves. “But we should get this stuff into the car.”

“You know we’re not done here, though,” Deidara said.

“Seriously?” Sakura asked. “How much more money did you all want to burn?”

“We haven’t even scratched the surface,” Sasori said.

“Besides it’ll be funny when Kakuzu sees all the shit we’ve bought, hm,” Deidara said.

Kisame laughed. “I didn’t think of that. It’ll be great.”

Deidara lowered his voice to mimic what Sakura assumed was Kakuzu’s voice, “Why are you buying frivolous things when you could be _saving_?!”

Kisame lowered his voice as well, “You spent less than 1% of your money! What the hell are you thinking?! You’ll be broke in no time, dumbass!”

“Just tell him Hidan did it,” Sasori said.

“We don’t need to go on a Hidan-scavenger hunt again, hm,” Deidara said in his normal voice.

“Remember last time?” Sasori recalled. “He put Hidan’s ass on his head.”

Sakura’s eyes widened and she made a face of horror. “Did he break his fucking back?!”

“What?” Sasori looked over to Sakura. “Oh, no…” He trailed off and rubbed the back of his head. “He… Ah… You probably don’t want to know, honestly.”

Sakura nodded. “You know what, I agree.”

Once the bags were all stowed away in the trunk they headed back inside. On the way Sakura heard what had to be a wolverine growl in Kisame’s stomach. She looked at him and laughed. “Hungry or something?”

“I could eat,” Kisame grinned.

“I thought you guys were all knowing and ate before we got here,” Sakura teased.

“Another magical thing happens called digestion,” Sasori teased back. “Let’s stop real quick to get something.”

“You guys can do that, hm,” Deidara said. “I need to go get some supplies.”

“What kind of supplies?” Sasori asked skeptically.

“Just art stuff,” Deidara defended himself. “I swear,” he said when Sasori gave him a look that clearly said he wasn’t convinced.

“I’ll watch him,” Sakura offered. “Make sure he doesn’t buy C4 or something.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Kisame said distracted. He headed straight to the blood concession stand. Sasori followed right behind him, giving Deidara one last warning look.

Deidara and Sakura headed off to the art shop and Sakura asked Deidara if she should be worried about him blowing up the house.

“Of course not,” he reassured her as they entered the shop. “I never blow up the place where I live, hm.”

“Just where your friends live,” Sakura pointed out.

“What do you mean?” Deidara asked.

“The Uchiha mansion,” Sakura reminded him. “When you blew up the bathroom wall? When I was peeing?”

Deidara covered his mouth, laughing. “Oh shit, that was you?”

“Do you know any other girls with pink hair?” Sakura asked.

Deidara pulled his hand down to his chin in thought. “Well there was this one smoking hot chick…” He said jokingly. “Had green eyes and shit too, hm.”

“Must be my twin,” Sakura joked in return.

“That would explain the smoking hot adjective. Oh hey, just what I was looking for,” Deidara trailed off and headed over to a display of paints near the back of the store.

Sakura followed after him, trying to keep a cool head. Had he just called her hot? No way. It was obviously just for the sake of humor. Guys didn’t find her hot. It just didn’t happen. Especially not ones as hot as Deidara. Shaking her head she brought herself back into the moment. “What are you making?”

Deidara shrugged. “Dunno yet.”

“Then how do you know that’s just what you needed?” Sakura asked.

“Just do,” Deidara said. “It’s an artist thing. You wouldn’t understand.”

“Oh I see, you’re a deep and enigmatic soul,” Sakura teased. “I could never possibly understand the inner workings of such a sophisticated intellectual.”

Deidara whacked her arm gently, “Oh shut it.”

Sakura whacked him back, a hair more forcefully, “Make me.”

Deidara looked down at her and grinned, pushing her shoulder lightly, “Don’t test me.”

Sakura smirked up at him and pushed him back. “Do you really want to tango with me after seeing what I did to Hidan?”

“He wasn’t prepared,” Deidara said.

“And you are?” Sakura questioned.

“Of course I – “

Sakura didn’t let him finish. Catching him off guard she was able to get his arm behind his back and hold it there for a fraction of a second. Deidara easily wormed his arm out of her grip and pinned her arms to her side while pushing her back up against the wall.

Pouting, Sakura conceded, “Alright you win that one. I’ll get you one day, though.”

“You sure about that?” Deidara questioned.

Sakura nodded. “Of course. By the end of the semester I’ll know everything about your body and your weak spots.” She regretted the words the second they left her lips.

Deidara smirked and loosened his hold on her arms. Slowly he brought his right hand up to rest against the wall right next to her head. “If you need any help with that, don’t be shy, hm.”

Sakura screwed her face into what she hoped looked pissed and fearsome. It would have worked had the blush not been dusting her cheeks. “You know what I meant.”

“I know what you thought you meant,” Deidara said.

“Huh?” Sakura tilted her head to the side.

“You thought you meant it a certain way but be honest with yourself,” he leaned in closer and Sakura could feel his breath fan across her mouth and chin. “You wouldn’t have worded it like that if you hadn’t been thinking about something else, hm.”

Sakura swallowed hard trying to focus on anything that wasn’t the chill of his skin touching hers. “S-So what?” She mentally slapped herself for stuttering. “You started it with the comments about physical appearance.”

“It was true,” Deidara said in a low tone. He was so close and even though his being was enveloping her in an ice cold aura she felt like she was burning up. The intimacy of their positions was doing strange things to her stomach. Her heart felt like it was going to pound out of her chest.

“I could say the same thing about you,” she replied in a soft voice, her previous thoughts bubbling up to the surface in the form of eloquent word vomit.

For a fraction of a second Sakura thought she had said too much. Deidara didn’t back off or continue. All he did was look at her, puzzled. His eyes darted across her face, trying to read her. Once gathering whatever information he was looking for he smiled slightly. Slowly his right hand moved from the wall to her shoulder, then her neck, and then moving down her jawline until his thumb ghosted across her lower lip. Sakura looked down shyly. His stare set her on fire and she didn’t think she could take much more.

Deidara put his fingers under her chin to pull her head back up to look at him, his other hand trailing down her arm to rest finally at her waist. His hold on her chin was firm but not so much that she couldn’t turn away if she wanted to.

She didn’t.

Deidara moved his hand back behind her head and tangled his fingers into her hair. He moved his head forward a slow pace. Sakura let her eyes slide shut.

When his lips finally met hers it was for only a moment. A light brush making sure that this was okay. When Sakura didn’t turn her head or push him away Deidara kissed her again. This time pulling her waist closer to his body and letting himself kiss her fully. Sakura brought her arms up to wrap around his neck pulling him more into the kiss.

Sakura was rusty but Deidara was patient, helping her along and taking it slow. It didn’t matter to her, though. The feel of his kiss and his hands was already driving her mad. She wasn’t sure if it had just been that long since she’d touched another person like this or if Deidara was _that_ good at kissing. She decided that it was pointless it question it. It was heaven either way.

Deidara’s hand wandered across her waist and Sakura let hers get tangled in his hair. Bringing one hand forward she moved his bangs out of his face and then rested it on his neck. His entire body was ice and yet his lips were almost a normal temperature. She wondered… Would his tongue be warm?

Sakura poked at his bottom lip asking silently to let her in. It wasn’t a hard decision. When her tongue entered and prodded around she found that, yes, his tongue was very warm. And skilled. When his tongue entered her mouth she felt butterflies explode in her stomach. He knew what he was doing and Sakura loved it. She could have spent the rest of the day kissing him but her lungs were screaming for air. She brought a hand down to push gently against his chest. When he pulled back Sakura took a slow deep breath and opened her eyes to look up at him.

“Wow,” she whispered.

“Yeah,” Deidara said.

“Yeah.” A voice came from Sakura’s left. She turned her head and saw Kisame and Sasori standing there with their blood cups.

Sakura’s eyes widened and her face flushed in embarrassment. Her mouth opened and closed as she tried to figure out how the hell she was supposed to explain the situation. In the end all that came out was, “H-Hey guys! Uh… B positive right? Good choice! Ha, ha.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay! Finally got some kissing action in here! Woo! Well, again, sorry for the late update, but I'll let you all in on a little secret. The next chapter is close to finished sooo... It should be out soon!
> 
> I'm going on a family vacation starting Wednesday and I won't be back until the next Monday (or maybe even Tuesday). So! The next chapter should be out soon.
> 
> Let me know what you all thought of this one! I'm eager to hear your thoughts :D
> 
> And tell me in your review: Who's your favorite Akatsuki X Sakura pairing? I'd love to hear your all's thoughts!
> 
> Until next time, lovelies!


	9. Chapter 9

This was, without a doubt, the most awkward moment of Sakura’s life. She didn’t know what could top it. And it went deeper than Kisame and Sasori finding her sucking face with Deidara. The looks on their faces made her feel like she’d just pissed on the Pope’s hat – and they weren’t even looking at _her_.

Sasori’s face was twisted into a furious frown while Kisame had a look of anger mixed with utter confusion. Both had their eyes fixated on Deidara who seemed nothing but annoyed. There was total silence for a good minute before Sasori broke the silence.

“Just what do you think you’re doing?”

“Kissing Sakura, duh. Did you somehow become blind in the past ten minutes?” Deidara replied.

Sakura bit her bottom lip and squirmed out from between Deidara and the wall. Whatever was going on here, she knew it’d be more comfortable outside of his intimate hold.

What was going on here, anyways? Why in the world would they be this upset finding her and Deidara together like this? It was obvious why Deidara was pouting, but the other two? It didn’t make sense.

“Why are you guys so mad?” Sakura asked them all. “What in the world is going on here?”

Kisame and Sasori pulled their death glares away from Deidara to look at Sakura, taken aback. They didn’t know how to answer that.

Deidara smirked leaned against the wall with his arms crossed.

“Yeah guys, what’s wrong?” He asked, obviously enjoying this.

Sasori pursed his lips and looked around trying to find the right words. Kisame kept opening and closing his mouth trying to figure out what to say.

Sakura took in their expressions, trying to figure out why they suddenly seemed so awkward. The only thing she could think of was that they were somehow jealous of Deidara. But that was impossible. Right?

They wanted a piece of _this?_ Sure she was fairly attractive but had they seen themselves? Sakura knew for a fact that vampires could totally see themselves in the mirror. She’d caught Hidan admiring himself enough times to be sure of that. So, obviously they had to know how totally and utterly breathtaking each of them were in their own ways. Why in the world would they be jealous of Deidara for what just happened?

Sakura couldn’t even count how many girls stared and nearly drooled over the boys today alone. Most of which she’d admit were much more attractive than herself. So why in the world would either Kisame or Sasori be jealous of Deidara? It had to be they were jealous of him getting action. That had to be it. Girls never came to their place unless Sakura invited them over.

And yet, Sakura knew that wasn’t it. The way the boys were all looking at her screamed it was something else.

Sakura let out a quick laugh and said, as lighthearted as she could, “What, do you guys like me or something?”

Sasori crossed his arms and averted his gaze from her while Kisame put his hands on his hips, looking anywhere that wasn’t Sakura.

Sakura’s laughter died out. Their nonexistent answer coupled with their body language told her everything she needed to know.

Yes. They liked her. And they were jealous of Deidara. Because he got to kiss her.

Sakura suddenly felt lightheaded. Her lips contorted into a weird smile that she couldn’t make go away. Her stomach felt like a thousand angry butterflies were set free. These three extremely attractive men were attracted to _her_. They, apparently, wanted to _kiss_ her. As complicated as that statement was, Sakura couldn’t help the senseless giggling that spewed from her lips. She was a little girl in school again who’d just been told someone had a crush on her.

“Are you okay?” Deidara asked coming up from behind her.

Sakura nodded. “Yeah, fine,” she managed through the laughter. “It’s just… This isn’t what I expected to happen today.” Or ever, but she didn’t think that needed said.

“You and me both,” Kisame muttered.

“Well, what now?” Sakura asked. “I’m guessing we’re done shopping now.”

Sasori turned to leave. “Yeah, let’s head out.”

The four of them went to the car and all got in. Kisame squished himself in the back because he and Sasori agreed that Deidara was _not_ allowed to sit next to Sakura on the drive home. They knew they were being petty but they also didn’t care. He’d had enough of her today.

Once back at the house Sasori pulled around back where some parking spaces were. They all got out and grabbed as many bags as they could each. Thankfully they were able to collect all the bags. Sakura was the last to gather them up and so was in the back of the pack mule conga line. She was still close enough to hear Kisame enter the home and say as loud as he could without actually yelling, “Deidara fucking kissed her.”

Sakura knew she should have been embarrassed, even mad at Kisame for blurting that out, but found all those emotions were lost on her when she saw both Hidan and Tobi running out of the house at top speed directly towards Deidara. He was knocked to the ground by the both of them who were yelling different things at varying levels of anger.

“What the _fuck_ , man?!” Hidan yelled while having a firm grip on the collar of Deidara’s shirt. “What the fucking shit?! I fucking told you I’d do her first!”

Sakura put her head in a hand. She hoped Hidan meant something more PG rated than what she was thinking.

It had only been a second before she picked her head back up. When she did Hidan was standing up, yelling down at the ground, and Tobi was on top of Deidara taking his turn to yell.

For the first – and probably only – time Sakura was genuinely afraid of Tobi. Not only was he holding Deidara down with one hand but he also had Hidan held back with his other. All the while he was firing questions at Deidara a mile a minute. The poor guy didn’t have a chance to answer even one.

“What happened?!” Tobi yelled. “Did you take advantage of her? Did you hurt her?! Where were Sasori and Kisame?!”

“Tobi,” Deidara said in the calmest voice he could manage. “Tobi, please get off, hm.”

Kisame and Itachi had to come over to try and get them off of Deidara. After a minute Sakura knew this was going to take a while. Knowing she couldn’t do anything to help she picked up most of the bags and brought them inside. Not having an actual room to put them in, she set the bags on the dining table.

Admittedly she felt bad that she was cluttering up the shared space like this. The bags took up most of the table space. Thinking she could perhaps make it all more compact she began taking everything out of the bags and stacking them in the smallest pile she could. Sure she could even take the stuff to her temporary bedroom but Hidan and Tobi may not appreciate her cluttering up a private space like that either.

This was conundrum, indeed.

Or at least, Sakura thought so. She had to do something while the boys wrestled over her honor or whatever outside. She was already causing them physical distress. It’d be rude to give them more problems to deal with.

By the time she’d finished and began fiddling with her new items Kisame and Itachi had dragged Hidan and Tobi into the living space. Deidara walked in holding his shoulder and grimacing. Sakura noticed the beginnings of a bruise, but knowing it’d be gone within the day she didn’t rush over to assist.

This reminded her of Hidan’s well-deserved bruise that she’d given him that morning. Sakura hadn’t had the mind to examine his face for bruises while he was attacking Deidara. She looked over and saw that it was already beginning to fade.

“You almost broke my fucking shoulder, hm!” Deidara called over to Hidan.

“So fucking what?” Hidan retorted. “You deserve it.”

“For what?” Deidara threw his good arm up in the air.

Hidan got up and gestured in Sakura’s direction. “You know damn well what!”

Deidara rolled his eyes and went to the freezer to look for ice.

Tobi came over to sit in the chair next to Sakura.

“Sakura, are you okay?” He asked looking genuinely concerned.

Sakura nodded, “Yes of course. Everything is fine, nothing bad happened.”

“Good!” Tobi smiled. Sakura had expected him to make a bigger fuss.

No one broke the silence for ten minutes or more after Tobi spoke. None of them knew what to say or how to start what was obviously a much needed discussion. Sakura started to get annoyed after another five minutes of silence dragged by.

Sakura let out a quick breath through her nose and stood up from her chair. Crossing her arms she looked around at everyone. “So? What’s going on here? Did a bunch of pent up sexual tension just get unleashed in one huge wave or something?”

More silence.

Sakura rubbed her temple. “You guys can’t keep quiet on this. I mean seriously what the hell? You guys are getting physical with each other over _me?_ ” She gestured to her body. “I’m a damn six at best and you all are at least elevens. Easily.”

“Oh my god, Sakura,” Hidan groaned from the couch. “Shut up, you’re way fucking hotter than you give yourself credit for.”

Sakura gestured to the front door. “Okay but have you _seen_ the girls on this campus?! There are so many of them! And so many are so much more attractive than me! Why in the world would you guys get so protective over plain me? No one’s ever even liked me! Except maybe Lee…” She muttered the last part to herself.

Itachi walked over to stand behind the chair to Sakura’s right. “Sakura, I find it hard to believe you really believe that. My brother told me that he and Naruto had to practically drag boys off of you in school.”

“That would be Lee,” Sakura nodded.

“And that they’d constantly hear about boys falling for you,” Itachi added. “In obvious ways, too.”

“Okay, but that’s guys like Lee and Kiba and whoever,” Sakura reasoned. “Not…” she gestured around the room to emphasize her overstated point of them being attractive.

“Oh stop, I’m blushing,” Kisame joked.

“It’s true, though,” Sakura said. “I’m just trying to understand here. You guys are quite obviously out of my league. And there are girls ten times more attractive than me who seem to literally drool when you walk by. So…” She trailed off, not sure what else to add that hadn’t already been said.

“You’re not weird,” Tobi said. When Sakura gave him a blank stare he continued, “All those girls are weird about vampires. Even if they are ones. Or they find out who we actually are and run away as fast as they can. You didn’t run.”

Sakura laughed and took her seat again. “I wanted to when I first got here.”

“You didn’t though,” Sasori said. “You’re the first person in a long time that stuck around long enough to get to know us. Female or otherwise.”

Sakura shrugged. “It’s just who I am, I guess. Also, not everything Sasuke told us about you guys was bad. Plus I saw you guys around the Uchiha mansion sort of regularly. I don’t know, it was just easy to get to know you guys when I didn’t think you’d kill me. You do have a bit of a reputation.”

“What did the little shit say?” Hidan asked, ignoring the quick glare Itachi shot in his direction.

Sakura leaned back in her chair so that only two legs were on the ground. “Stuff about the organization mostly. Clarifications about whether so-and-so really did kill so-and-so or not. But I guess you meant the positive things. Well, they weren’t really so much positive as they were…” Sakura searched for the right words. “Humanizing. For example he’d tell us these really stupid stories about what he’d found you guys doing in the mansion.” Sakura giggled remembering some of the better ones.

“Share with the class whenever you want,” Hidan said impatiently.

Sakura cleared her throat and sat her chair back down on all four legs. “Well there was the one with you,” she nodded to Hidan, “Being trapped in the bathroom because you’d run out of toilet paper.”

Kisame barked out a laugh and Hidan threw a pillow at him. Kisame threw it back and looked to Sakura, “Please continue if it’s the last thing you do.”

“He was apparently flip flopping between asking for help from anyone who walked by and then screaming obscenities when they refused to assist,” Sakura said.

Hidan sat back and crossed his arms. “Sasuke was one of them, too.”

Sakura noticed Itachi nod just slightly in what she thought could be praise. Or maybe he was just acknowledging that his little brother was in fact a little shit. It was hard to say with the stoic man.

“Those are the sorts of things that made me realize even before I got here that you guys weren’t bloodthirsty – well not in a murderous sense,” Sakura giggled at her own horrible joke. This time Hidan and Kisame both threw pillows at her. She giggled again and put one of them in her lap to hold on to. “So, my point is that you all could get to know, date, or whatever any girl you wanted if you could just talk to them first.”

“Tried that,” Sasori said sounding bored. “Still blew up.” A few of the others nodded in agreement.

“Didn’t your third girlfriend actually blow up, Deidara?” Kisame asked.

“Fuck off,” Deidara said, holding ice to his shoulder.

“Nah, nah,” Hidan waved his hand, “Remember that was my second.”

“Oh yeah,” Kisame said casually.

Sakura tuned the boys out so she could try and think. She was getting annoyed with their stubbornness. It was so easy for them to go after different girls so they wouldn’t physically go after each other. But no. Instead they seemed to be hell bent on settling on one girl. And it had to be her. What had her life come to? She sighed and rested her chin on the table.

“Are you okay Sakura?” Tobi asked, putting his head down on the table as well so he was eye level with her.

“This is all so confusing,” she said and turned her head so her right cheek was resting on the table and she was facing Tobi. “I guess you like me, too?”

Tobi shrugged. “Of course, but I don’t think quite like the others.”

“Really?” Sakura picked her head up.

Tobi nodded. “Yeah, you’re a really good friend and I’m happy with that!”

Sakura smiled. “Thanks, you’re a great friend, too.” One less weight, apparently. It was a weird mix of feelings. Happy there was one less thing to worry about, but also that pang of rejection. Sakura quickly pushed it aside, knowing the thought was nothing but a knee-jerk reaction.

Sakura still couldn’t help the sudden giggle at the idea that popped into her head. First Sasuke, now Tobi? She didn’t mix well with Uchihas did she? Then again, Itachi still seemed taken by her. Either way she found the minor situation hilarious. Thankfully Tobi had entered into the current conversation going on between the boys and hadn’t noticed her laughter.

When Sakura brought her attention back to the boys she realized most of them had completely gone off track from the main situation. She was about to say something but Deidara beat her to it.

“Are you guys seriously going to get side tracked so easily over a subject you literally attacked me over, hm?”

Sakura couldn’t have put it better herself.

“What do you want us to say?” Hidan asked.

“Sorry would be a fantastic start,” Deidara said, gesturing to his shoulder.

“Sorry you fucked up.” Hidan smirked.

“Oh, but if you’d been the first one to kiss her it’d be fair?” Deidara asked.

Hidan looked at Deidara like he was an idiot. “Well, yeah.”

Sakura slammed a hand on the table cutting off Deidara. Everyone looked over in her direction. “So, what? You called dibs or something?”

For once Hidan looked at a loss for words. He simply stared at her as if waiting for a bomb to go off.

Slowly Sakura stood up and took a deep breath to calm herself down. Shouting and getting mad wasn’t going to do any good for anyone. “I’m not a toy you all got for Christmas. It doesn’t matter who did what first. What matters is we all obviously have some strong feelings floating around and we need to figure out how we’re going to deal with them. Without getting physical.” She shot a pointed look to both Hidan and Tobi.

“You’re right,” Itachi said.

“But what did you have in mind?” Sasori asked.

Sakura sighed and walked away from her chair to pace in a small circle next to the table while she thought. Anything that came to her seemed ludicrous. Really the only sensible option was to say she was sorry but there’s no way they’d all be able to make some weird love heptagon work. Anything else would erupt into drama and someone was going to get hurt.

_It would make up for all the attention you were deprived of in high school_ , a voice whispered in Sakura’s mind. She shook her head, clearing it. No way, she couldn’t entertain the idea of letting this continue.

_But why?_ The voice asked.

That was obvious. Everyone would eventually be hurt. The best case scenario had her and one of them happy together forever, but that was it. There wasn’t any other light at the end of the tunnel.

_But they all know that. So what if it ended up in heartache? It’d be their own faults for allowing them to participate._

Participate? In what? Some polygamous relationship? No way, that only works if everyone’s happy with that situation. And no one – _except you_ – would be happy with that.

_Don’t let it be a committed relationship, then._

Then that would mean she’d be using them for affection. That was even worse. And yet, Sakura found her stomach a flutter thinking about the idea of each of them giving her attention in their own way.

_The attention doesn’t excite you. They do._

They do? It wasn’t a lie. If Sakura thought about Lee crashing through that door and joining in the butterflies fled for the hills. Even Sasuke left her feeling, well, nothing. When Deidara had kissed her earlier, the excitement came from the fact that it had been him doing it – not just that she’d gotten kissed. A real kiss, too. Not some sloppy make out session at a teen party that happened for the sake if kissing alone.

Sakura imagined that the rest of them would give her the same sort of attention – if they’re reactions were anything to go by. Kisame and Sasori had seemed so jealous, she could imagine how much they’d probably been wishing Kisame hadn’t stopped to eat. And Hidan when they got home… He was rough and brash but he obviously wanted something to do with her that was more than getting to score with the pink-haired girl. Itachi was hard to read, but the concern he showed her said that he really did care, too.

‘ _What would it be like to kiss each of them?_ ’ Sakura asked mentally before she could stop herself. It was too late, the thoughts were crashing through her mind like a barrier had been broken. Thoughts of running her fingers through Itachi’s long hair; being held in Kisame’s large arms; the amount of passion Hidan would have; wondering just what type of kisser Sasori was. Knowing how Deidara kissed made her thoughts of him all the more vivid and easier to dwell on. Knowing what’s on the surface her mind was begging to know what would happen if they kissed again. What other things she could get her hands on.

“Sakura?” Sasori asked and put a hand on her shoulder.

Sakura blinked and her eyes focused back to the present world. She hadn’t noticed, but her pacing had ceased and she was standing in the middle of the room. She looked around and all the boys were looking at her – some like she was a weirdo and others a tad worried.

“Oh!” Sakura turned her lips up into a smile. “What’s up, Sasori?”

“You’ve been staring off into space for five minutes straight,” he informed her.

“Oh,” Sakura said dumbly. “Well…” She put her hands behind her back and pursed her lips in thought. Obviously she wasn’t about to tell him that she’d been thinking about what it’d be like to kiss all of them. But she hadn’t quite finished her original thought anyways.

What was the thought again? All she could seem to focus on at the moment was Sasori’s lips.

She shook her head and rubbed her eyes, sighing. Sasori was so distracting all of a sudden. When Sakura looked away from him she found herself gazing in Kisame’s direction and her mind flew back to how it would feel to be held in his arms while they – no! She tore her eyes away and they settled on Hidan this time. Memories of him pinning her to the floor after she charmed his blood bags came flooding back suddenly. His fangs grazing her neck, that stupid one liner he’d delivered.

Sakura found herself wondering just what would have happened if she’d let him continue. A million different scenarios played out in her mind. Her face heated up at the thoughts.

Whenever she tried to bring her attention away from one of them her eyes settled on another. Even starting straight at the wall or floor didn’t help. She could feel all their gazes on her.

“You okay?” Sasori asked.

“You broke her, hm,” Deidara said jokingly.

“Sakura?” Kisame got up and walked over to her. “What’s up?”

Sakura looked up and tried to find the right words to say. She didn’t want anyone to get hurt, but it was clear that she’d never be able to tell them to leave her alone. Running her hands through her hair she groaned.

“Fuck it!” Sakura threw her hands up and walked over to the kitchen table to pick up as many items as she could. “You guys can do whatever you want,” she headed to the temporary room and pushed the door open with a foot and then turned around to face everyone. “There’s no way I’m going to be able to tell you to leave me be, so you guys decide whatever you want to do. Whatever you all choose I’ll honor and we’ll live peacefully together.” With that she turned around and kicked the door closed.

It wasn’t the most responsible decision on her part, but she knew what she wanted.

Sakura loved the idea of them showering her in attention – whether she’d admit it or not. She knew she would not mind most of them doing so. Her only qualm was that she didn’t want any of the boys getting hurt. So, they can do whatever they want. They’re all big boys, and they can make their own decisions.

Sakura nodded and dropped her armful onto Tobi’s bed. She began to go through the items to distract herself from the twinge of excitement bubbling in her stomach. This semester had just taken a very interesting turn.

Sakura couldn’t have imagined how well the boys took her decision – nor how loosely they interpreted her statement of, “Do whatever you want.”

For the rest of that Saturday Sakura had kept to the bedroom. Half because she wanted to continue planning for Kisame’s birthday and half because she felt like if she went out into the living space she’d forget how to use her legs. By the end of the day she’d gotten a pretty good outline of the party going. Simple club outing to a place nearby. The only thing left to do was wait.

So for the rest of the day Sakura read ahead in her textbook and practiced more with her magic. She was getting a lot better. Flowers were becoming much easier to grow and bloom as were other sorts of plants. Some still gave her a bit of difficulty so for the afternoon she focused on those.

By nighttime she was exhausted. It was only 9 o’clock but Sakura didn’t care. She changed into some PJs – making sure to include pants – and crawled into bed.

* * *

Sakura knew she was covered in at least two blankets, so why did she feel so cold? It hadn’t been this cold when she’d gone to sleep last night. Coming out of her half asleep haze she immediately recognized that she had a visitor in her bed – again. She knew who it was without opening her eyes.

“Hidan?”

“Hm?”

“Why?”

Sakura felt his chest rumble with a laugh. “You said I could.”

Sakura couldn’t come up with a good retort. Instead she shrugged and continued lying in her current position.

“You aren’t getting up?” Hidan asked in genuine confusion. He’s expected her to shove him off and storm out. This was a much better outcome.

“I’m still tired,” Sakura said. With that she let herself drift back off to sleep for a few more minutes, enjoying the unashamed cuddling for once.

The rest of the week Sakura found herself waking up next to someone. Without a specific bedroom for herself it was easy to find herself in a different bed each night. In her defense Sakura wasn’t actually the one to pick the bed. Sunday night she just happened to fall asleep in the living room and was taken to Sasori’s bed – she’d fallen asleep against him.

After Hidan had joked about waking up next to Sakura the other boys had wondered as well what it would be like to do the same. Sasori just happened to be in the right place at the right time to take his chance.

So each morning that week Sakura had woken up in someone else’s bed. On the surface it sounded scandalous but Sakura was sure that all the boys did was put her to bed and then scoot in next to her just before she awoke. She figured this was the case because one night while in Deidara’s bed she’d woken up in the middle of the night to pee and noticed he wasn’t in the room at all. However in the morning when she got up for class he was right there next to her.

So far that week had been the best of Sakura’s semester. None of them pushed themselves onto her. Heck none of them even kissed her on the lips. Sure Sasori and Deidara gave her sweet good morning kisses on the cheek, but that was it in that department.

Kisame and Itachi didn’t even try to kiss her anywhere. Monday night Sakura had made sure to fall asleep next to Kisame so that Tuesday morning they could wake up and go to class together. When she’d woken up next to him Kisame acted as her snooze button. Truthfully she hadn’t gotten much sleep the night before because she’d introduced him and a few others to a new show. She’d been up until midnight watching with them. So Kisame made sure to get her up just in time to leave. Unfortunately for Sakura she was being so stubborn getting up Kisame had to resort to tickling her awake. It worked.

Itachi was the last she woke up next to and that was on Friday. Sure she’d slept in Tobi’s bed but all he’d done was make sure she got up for her early class on Thursday. On Friday she didn’t need to be at class until noon. She had a lot of classes that day but it was worth it to be able to sleep in. Itachi gladly let her do so. When she woke up the first time he’d greeted her with a very, very small smile.

“Good morning,” he said just above a whisper.

“’Mornin’,” Sakura grumbled, eyelids heavy. Itachi’s bed was without a doubt the comfiest of them all. She already felt like she was floating but when Itachi began carefully trailing his fingers up and down her arm Sakura felt like she was melting. They spent around ten minutes like this in quiet peace. The only thing that drew Sakura away was the call of nature. Grumpy she got up and made her way to the bathroom for her morning routine.

While eating her cereal Sakura looked around at the boys who were here – Itachi, Hidan, and Sasori. She thought doing something like this would be some sort of strain on everyone. Maybe even make it awkward to be in the house together. However that wasn’t the case. Sasori and Itachi conversed as normal in the kitchen while Hidan threw in his own two scents every now and then. As far as Sakura could tell they were all as normal as could be.

_Bzzt! Bzzt!_

Sakura looked down at the table to see she’d gotten a text from Ino.

“ _Hey, meet up in the courtyard before class? I miss you!”_

Sakura smiled and replied that she’d be there in twenty minutes. Ino and she hadn’t met up since the trip to the mall. And boy did she have some things to share with her this time. Finishing up her cereal Sakura dumped her bowl into the sink and went to get ready. Ten minutes later she was saying goodbye to the boys and heading out the door.

When at the courtyard Sakura only had to wait a minute before spotting Ino’s blonde ponytail bouncing towards her. They hugged and said their hello’s before settling down at a table.

“How have you been?” Sakura asked. “Did you and Sai go on that picnic?”

Ino nodded. “Yeah, it was so much fun. Outdoor dates are the best.”

“It sounds romantic,” Sakura rested her head on a hand.

Ino smiled. “It really was. He made everything, too. I mean it wasn’t gourmet, five star dining, but it was still really good. He’s getting a lot better.”

Sakura smiled back. “That’s great.”

“What have you been up to?” Ino asked.

Sakura shrugged nonchalantly. “Oh nothing. Woke up in Itachi’s bed today, whatever.”

Ino did a double take. “You _what_?”

Sakura waved her hands around, laughing. “Not the way you think!”

“Then what way?” Ino asked obviously seeping with interest.

Sakura went on to explain what happened the morning after they’d seen each other last and the events that followed later at the mall and throughout the week. By the time she’d finished Ino looked like she was going to explode with pride.

“My baby girl is all grown up and participating in orgies!” Ino threw her hands in the air and giggled.

Sakura blushed but giggled bringing Ino’s hands back down. “I haven’t even done anything with any of them since kissing Deidara.”

“But you will?” Ino asked.

Sakura shrugged again. “I dunno, I mean… I guess? The whole thing is pretty much a big we’ll-see-how-it-goes.”

“Wow,” Ino put her chin on her hand and looked at Sakura in amazement. “Little Sakura practically dating the Akatsuki. I never thought I’d see this.”

“I’m not dating any of them,” Sakura said.

“Dating or not, I hope you know what you’re doing,” Ino shook her head.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Ino swiped a hand to the side dismissively. “Nothing, it’s just…” She paused and sighed. “Look I’m your best friend and I’m not gonna sugarcoat it. Interacting with that many guys in that way is tricky. I just don’t want to see you get hurt.”

“I’ll be okay,” Sakura assured her. “Like I said none of us have even done anything yet.”

“Alright…” Ino trailed off. “It’s just that they are kinda dangerous.”

“They’d never hurt me,” Sakura said in a serious voice.

“I know,” Ino said quickly. “But they still hurt other people. I don’t want you getting mixed up in all of that is all. Especially with all the stuff Orochimaru has been spouting lately.”

“Like what?” Sakura asked.

“Tch,” Ino rolled her eyes and scowled. “They’re saying he’s been harping on reintroducing segregation into the school. Starting with the dorm arrangements. Obviously it’s not going to get any traction without another headmaster’s vote. But he can still take control over individual cases.”

“What a dick,” Sakura said, scrunching up her nose. “He’s so backwards.”

“I know,” Ino agreed. “Didn’t you have a form put in to transfer out of the Akatsuki House?”

“Oh shit, you’re right,” Sakura slapped a hand to her forehead. “Shit, I need to take care of that.”

“Especially now,” Ino smirked.

Sakura threw a paper ball at Ino’s face, giggling. Her eyes caught movement behind Ino’s head and saw that Sasuke was on his way back to the dormitories. “Sasuke!” She called and waved her arms.

Sasuke turned and saw Sakura waving to him. He headed over and nodded in her and Ino’s directions. “Sup.”

“How have you been?” Sakura asked. “I haven’t seen you in what feels like forever.”

“Alright,” Sasuke shrugged. “College is college. What about you?”

Sakura smiled. “I’ve been doing really well.”

“I’ll say,” Ino smirked. Sakura kicked her leg under the table. “Ow! What was that for?”

“You know what,” Sakura gave her a warning look and glanced pointedly at Sasuke.

“What? You don’t want Sasuke to know that you got all cozy with his brother this morning?” Ino said, not realizing.

Sasuke looked down at Sakura. “What does she mean?”

Ino opened her mouth to speak and earned another kick from Sakura. That didn’t stop her this time. “Oh just that she’s been getting cozy in the Akatsuki’s beds this week.”

Sakura let her head fall into her hands and groaned. “Ino, why?”

“You’re playing with fire, you know,” Sasuke told her.

Sakura picked her head up and looked at him. “What?”

“Look I’ve lived with Itachi and by extension most of the Akatsuki for a long time. I know exactly what they’re capable of and getting romantically involved with any of them is honestly a horrible idea,” Sasuke said.

Sakura glared up at Sasuke. How dare he? “You don’t get a say in my love life, Sasuke. If you wanted that privilege then you should have been part of it.”

Sasuke put his hands up defensively. “I’m just saying they can be dangerous. Plus you know Naruto’s going to flip his shit when he hears about this.”

“Well Naruto needs to realize I’m an adult now who can do what and who she wants in her free time,” Sakura said and stood up. “I mean if one of them hurts me then sure grab a pitch fork and let’s storm the castle. But until then he can just chill.”

“I’ll be sure to tell him,” Sasuke said and turned to go. “I have to get back. There’s a paper due tomorrow.” He waved and they said their goodbyes. It wasn’t long before Sakura also had to leave for her classes and bid Ino farewell, too.

When she got home all Sakura wanted to do was sit down with her laptop and watch stupid cat videos or something. She was exhausted and her wrist hurt from all the notes she’d taken. Sure she had some homework to do, but that could wait. She set an alarm for later that night as a reminder. For the next few hours she laid down on one of the loveseats and watched videos with headphones. She was only disturbed when Itachi pulled the headset off of her head and pointed behind him. Sakura craned her head all the way back and looked behind him to see an upside-down Naruto leaning against the wall, looking bothered.

“Thanks Itachi,” Sakura got up and nodded to him then walked over to Naruto. “Hey! What’s up?”

“Nothing,” He looked around at the boys that were in the living space and then nodded to the front door. “Can I talk to you for a minute?”

“Uh, sure,” Sakura followed him out the door onto the porch.

They walked over to the far right side of the porch before Naruto turned to lean against the railing. He gestured to the house. “Seriously?”

Sakura motioned for him to continue. “Seriously…what?”

“Them, Sakura!” Naruto raised his voice. “You’re seriously sleeping with all of them?”

Sakura frowned and put her hands on her hips. “Who the hell said that?”

“Ino and Sasuke,” Naruto said.

Sakura rolled her eyes and shook her head. “I’m not sleeping with them like you think I am, Naruto.”

“Well then how?” Naruto asked.

“Like _sleeping_.” Sakura said curtly. “And even if I wasn’t what concern is it of yours?”

“I’m your friend,” Naruto said.

“So that means you get to dictate my romantic life?” Sakura asked.

“It means I’m going to try and protect you,” Naruto said in a calmer tone. “You know what these guys are like, how can you think I wouldn’t be worried?”

Sakura leaned back against the railing. “I do know what they’re like. I live with them. And trust me you have nothing to be worried about.”

“Yeah, I do,” Naruto insisted. “Sakura I was there with you since elementary school. You’ve never had the best of luck in the romance department.”

“I know, I was there,” Sakura said, getting a bit annoyed.

“It’s just… You can’t do a complete one-eighty like this!” Naruto said.

“Like what?”

Naruto sighed. “Sakura you’ve never even dated a guy before. You can’t go jumping into the deep end with _six_ – especially those six – before you’ve even had a real kiss!”

“For your information I have had a real kiss,” Sakura pushed herself off of the railing. “And it was fantastic! Anyways who are you to criticize me? You’re completely clueless when it comes to girls!”

“Exactly, which is why I’m not going off to date half a dozen of them at once,” Naruto said.

Sakura clenched her fists. “Face it, Naruto, you’re just pissed that it’s _them_. Why don’t you come back when you have a better argument than, ‘you’re a virgin’?”

“That’s not what I mean,” Naruto said in a soft voice.

“Then what?” Sakura asked.

“I mean you don’t have any romantic background. At all. It’s hard enough jumping into something like this after having multiple partners, but you haven’t had any, Sakura!” Naruto pleaded. “You have no idea what you’re walking into here.”

“And you do?” Sakura asked.

“I’ve at least had a girlfriend,” Naruto said.

Sakura turned her back on him and crossed her arms, fists still clenched. “Then I’ll be sure to ask the oh-so-wise Uzumaki Naruto for advice if I need it.” With that she walked away and back into the house. She knew she was being a sort of bitchy but he was now the third person in one day to tell her the reason this entire situation was ludicrous was because she hadn’t ever dated before.

Stomping through the house Sakura made her way to Hidan and Tobi’s bedroom. Opening the door she was pleased to find the room was empty. After closing the door much harder than necessary, she flopped down onto a bed and glared at the ceiling. Did her friends really have no faith in her? Sakura wasn’t stupid. She knew when she was going too far. That hadn’t happened yet. Honestly, they could do to give her a bit of support here. If they think she’s making such a huge mistake why not offer help instead of coming over to her home just to chastise her?

“Ugh!” Sakura groaned and whacked the wall with the side of her fist. You’d think her friends would have more faith in her. She wasn’t a helpless schoolgirl anymore. She knew how to handle herself.

The door swung open with Hidan striding through. “What the hell’s going on in here?”

Sakura glanced down without getting up. “I’m venting my frustrations.”

“Why are you using my wall?” Hidan asked, kicking the door closed.

“Would you rather I use your face? You looked better with a bruise.”

“Ha, ha,” Hidan said sarcastically. “Seriously though, why are you throwing a tantrum?”

“Because it seems all of my friends think I’m in way over my head with you guys.”

“Why?” Hidan asked seeming genuinely confused. As far as he was concerned sleeping in different beds each night seemed pretty easy.

“Half because, well, it’s you guys. Half because they still see me as a little girl who still thinks the stork brings babies,” Sakura breathed out a humorless laugh.

“From what Kisame tells me that seems unlikely,” Hidan said smirking.

Sakura lifted her head up to look at him more clearly. “Huh?”

Hidan sat next to her on the bed. “He was telling me about seeing you and Deidara at the mall. Sounds to me like you know what you’re doing.”

Sakura sat up fully now and blushed. “It must have been a while since he’s kissed a girl. I’m positive I looked like a flopping mess from the outside. My friends might be annoying but they are right. I’m not too experienced.”

“I can always help with that,” Hidan said through a wry smirk.

Sakura let out a quick laugh. “What, you’ll be my kissing coach?”

Hidan leaned forward towards her. “Free of charge and everything.”

Sakura licked her suddenly dry lips. He was obviously teasing her but she doubted he’d reject her if she took the bait at the moment. Naruto was right, after all, she was lacking in experience. And the only way to gain experience is to, well, experience.

She pushed a strand of hair behind her ear and nodded. “As a college student, I’ve got to jump on anything free.”

“Then come here,” Hidan reached forward not giving Sakura time to protest. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her over so that she was straddling his lap while he sat on the edge of the bed.

Sakura rested her hands on his shoulders, her heart hammering in her chest. “Right this second?”

“Unless you have some prior engagement?”

Sakura shook her head. “Ah, nope. I call myself a college student but look at me, no plans on a Friday night.”

Hidan lowered his hands so they rested just above her rear. “And now you’re going to kiss the sexiest man on campus.”

Sakura pretended to look around the room. “I don’t see Itachi in here.”

That earned her a quick glare from Hidan. “You’re gonna fucking pay for that one.”

“Bring it, bitch,” Sakura said. The grin she got in return made her stomach flip.

Hidan leaned forward so that his lips were at her ear. “Remember, you asked for it.”

Sakura wanted to reply but was distracted by his hands starting their treks across her torso. One hand stayed planted above her butt while the other came up in a flash to rest at the nape of her neck. He held her in a firm grip that assured she wasn’t going anywhere. His violet eyes smoldered into hers for just a moment before they both closed and their lips connected.

Like Deidara’s this one began lightly; unlike the first one, this kiss went from light to heated in a matter of seconds. Hidan brought her hips closer so that her body was pressed flush against his. In his usual shirtless state Sakura could feel the chill of his skin through her shirt. Everywhere he touched her she felt a chill that contrasted starkly to the heat that was erupting under Sakura’s own skin.

Sakura barely had time to focus on this. Hidan’s tongue was already making its way past her own lips to explore and tease. Just this was enough to make Sakura feel lightheaded. She brought one hand up to entwine in his hair while the other roamed down to his neck, shoulder, and then chest.

Hidan brought his tongue back and began nibbling on her bottom lip in between kisses. First tenderly and then slowly more and more rough until Sakura’s personal limit. She didn’t find the sensation unpleasant but wondered how he’d take her giving him the same treatment. When Hidan went in for another kiss Sakura caught his bottom lip between hers and started the same routine of nibbling lightly and then a bit more rough. From the way he squeezed her rear Sakura knew she was doing well.

Hidan took Sakura by surprise by thrusting his tongue back past her lips. He slowly coaxed her tongue out and past his own lips, encouraging her to do her own exploring. Hesitant at first Sakura let herself poke around and get a feel for the action. Just as she was getting comfortable Hidan started to nip and suck on her tongue earning a low sound emanating from somewhere in the back of Sakura’s throat. She didn’t care. The way he was kissing her took her breath away. Literally.

Pulling back Sakura took in a slow breath. That breath hitched when Hidan took the opportunity to explore the new territory that was her neck. Once again beginning with his lips ghosting across her neck and evolving into open mouth kisses. When Hidan sucked at a particular spot halfway down the column of her neck, Sakura found that sound making its way back out again. Still, she did not care. It felt amazing. She gripped his head tighter, bringing him closer to her neck, silently asking for him to do that again. When Hidan repeated the action with more force Sakura found her volume also increased.

Hidan was quick to bring his lips back up to hers and the room fell relatively silent once more. He let the hand that was at her neck drop down to mirror his other on Sakura’s butt, pulling her even closer to him. While biting at her lip again Hidan let one hand come up just a bit so his fingers could rest underneath her shirt on her waist. When he went to move his other hand up as well Sakura’s phone suddenly went off and blared through the room.

Without breaking the kiss Hidan picked Sakura’s phone out of her pocket. He put it into her hand and Sakura pulled her head back to look down to see just what the hell was interrupting her.

“Shit,” she grumbled looking at the very large message of, “STUDY TIME.”

Hidan looked down and read the message as well. “Seriously?”

Sakura shrugged. “I set it when I got home.”

Hidan retracted his arms and leaned back on his elbows. “I guess that completes lesson one.”

“Lesson one?” Sakura gave him an incredulous stare. “What in the world is lesson two?”

Hidan’s eyes pointedly roamed down and back up what was visible of her. “You’ll see.”

Sakura shook her head but got up quickly to hide the blush flaring up on her face. She could think of a thing or two that Hidan would be happy to “teach” her next time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just woke up like, fifteen minutes ago. I forgot to fiddle with this last night. So, here's and extra super long chapter that has not been proofread in the slightest!! Woo! (If anyone finds any spelling/grammar mistakes feel free to let me know in the nicest of ways! When I upload the next chapter I'll fix anything that needs fixing.)
> 
> I'll be gone for a while after today. Family vacation and then I gotta go do something else for like a week after that. I hope these almost back-to-back chapters make up for it!! (Also the kissing -wiggles eyebrows-)
> 
> This chapter actually has two chapters from my outline smushed into one. By themselves they weren't long enough... So here we go! Super long!
> 
> Now, I am off to finish packing for muthafuckin Disney World.
> 
> (Y'all don't even know how excited I am. I've been waiting more than a year for this day. Holy fucking shit.)
> 
> ALSO TODAY IS BACK TO THE FUTURE DAY! GET YOUR HOVERBOARDS AND TURN YOUR CLOTHES INSIDE OUT!!!
> 
> See you all next time!


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy SMOKES. So. It's been. It's been 5ever. I know. Whoops. Writer's block and moving and tons of stuff happened and WOWIES. Hopefully this two chapter update will make you all happy enough to forget I didn't update for an eternity? Eh? Yes?
> 
> Please enjoy either way!

Sakura rested her head on her hand and stared off into space while sitting at her desk. Her bedroom was habitable again and Sakura gladly secluded herself in there when plowing through homework. Being anywhere else in the house meant distractions were bound to happen. In here she was rarely bothered. Lately whenever Sakura had a free minute she’d spend it hanging out with her roommates – whether it be in a group or one-on-one. Suffice to say when Sakura willingly removed herself from their presence it was for a good reason.

Though lately homework wasn’t the only reason she needed breaks from the boys. While March had arrived, the warmth had yet to. Spending time with freezing cold bodies did nothing to warm Sakura up. Especially since certain roomies liked getting closer than necessary. You would think it would still cause some sort of body heat, but the only rise in temperature occurred in Sakura’s cheeks. And even that was beginning to fade away.

Over time you become numb to things that initially made you lose your mind. That’s not to say Sakura still didn’t get excited by the close contact. More so that she wasn’t as embarrassed by it anymore – especially around others.

Sakura liked the fact that her shyness was being slowly taken away. People like Deidara, Hidan, and Kisame were very good at helping with that. They really enjoyed physical contact, and yet they all went about it in vastly different ways.

Kisame simply enjoyed any sort of contact. He’d always sit next to her on the couch and hold her close. Unfortunately for the both of them they haven’t been alone together since Sakura woke up in his bed on Tuesday. There hasn’t been much time for them to experience any further contact but Sakura could tell he wanted more than cuddles on the public couch. She did too, after all.

Deidara and Hidan were both more forward with their contact; they were the only two to have gotten full out kisses from her after all. Even so, they were vastly different in the way they approached affection. For one Deidara was perfectly fine with public displays of affection while Hidan seemed much more comfortable keeping that behind closed doors. He’ll joke about it when he’s around the guys but Sakura’s lucky to get a hug from him when they’re not alone.

Deidara on the other hand gives zero fucks. While he’ll just give her forehead kisses in the morning when she’s waking up, during the day he’ll gladly kiss her full on the lips regardless of who’s in the vicinity. Truthfully Sakura doesn’t mind. The others don’t really seem to care either as they’re normally engrossed in their own tasks. Whenever Sasori or Kisame would catch them they’d make some sort of witty or sarcastic remark.

Whether she’s willing to say it out loud or not, Sakura sort of wished instead of joking about they’d just come over and kiss her already.

She knew they were trying to make sure she was comfortable with everything going on and didn’t want her overwhelmed, but come _on._ Were they waiting for her to make a move or something?

Well at this rate Sakura was perfectly happy to waltz into Sasori’s room, knock over his pottery wheel, and make out with him until her lips were swollen. That seemed like a pretty good idea, actually…

Sakura shook her head. No. She had to finish this assignment. She’d procrastinated all weekend. It needed to get done regardless of how difficult it was. Despite living with vampires she still had a difficult time grasping how exactly their bodies worked. Sure she knew they were immortal but it was the how that was stumping her. Creating a presentation for the subject was kinda hard when you didn’t know shit about the topic.

So of course Sakura’s mind happily wandered back over to Kisame. She really wanted to get comfortable with him simply because she thought it would make his upcoming birthday more memorable. It’s not like she’d fuck him or anything but being able to have some intimate contact would definitely improve the day. Ino’s implication of Sakura being a birthday present flitted through her mind.

“Wait,” Sakura blinked at her computer screen. “Present… Shit!” She hadn’t even thought about birthday presents! His birthday was just over two weeks away and she hadn’t even asked what the boy wanted.

Homework be damned, this was much more important. Pushing herself out from her desk Sakura got up and went to the living room. Looking around she found Itachi, Sasori, and Hidan, but no Kisame.

“Where’s Sharkboy?” Sakura asked.

“Room,” Itachi said.

“Thank you,” Sakura said and went over to the bedroom door. It was slightly ajar so she allowed herself to peek her head inside. “Knock, knock.”

Kisame was sitting on his bed surrounded by open textbooks. He looked up with an ecstatic expression, obviously happy for any reason to peel his eyes away from the boring paragraphs. “Hey, what’s up?”

Sakura entered and kicked the door back to its previously ajar position. “I needed to ask you something.” She took a seat at the foot of his bed. “I need a list of presents that you’d want for your birthday.”

Kisame let out a laugh. “Sakura, I’m going to be three hundred and twenty-seven years old. Don’t you think that’s a bit old for presents?”

Sakura shook her head. “No, Kisame, shut up. I don’t care how old you are, you’re getting presents. And your cake will also have three hundred candles.”

“Isn’t that a fire hazard?”

Sakura put her hands together and made a pouty face. “Come on, Kisame! Please? I love getting people presents.”

Kisame leaned back against the headboard and shrugged. “Fine, but I don’t know what I’d tell you to get. Present exchange was a bit different the last time I got one.”

Sakura pulled her legs up on the bed to sit criss-crossed facing Kisame. “How so?”

“The early 1800s were quite a different time,” Kisame said matter-of-factly.

Sakura’s jaw dropped. “You haven’t gotten a present in two hundred years?!”

“More or less.”

Sakura shook her head. “Unacceptable. No way. This is blasphemy. You are getting at least five presents this year, do you hear me?”

Kisame laughed again. “Sakura, if you really want to get me something, one is enough.”

“I’d get you two hundred if I could.”

“I know, but it’s not necessary. You’re already throwing a party.”

“And a party is incomplete without presents,” Sakura insisted.

“Fine, fine, but only one,” Kisame said.

Sakura eyed him for a moment before nodding, “Fine. One. But if that’s the case then I’m going to ask around. I don’t want you to have any clues as to what you’re going to get.”

So it was. Sakura inquired but the only one to give her good information was of course Itachi. The rest either didn’t really care or know what Kisame would want.

Itachi told her that the one hobby that stayed consistent with Kisame over the years had been swords. Sakura wasn’t surprised. Her first memory of him had Kisame swinging around a huge blade. Not only that, but his room had quite a few swords hanging up around his bed. Sakura asked what a college student on a budget could get for someone with such a hobby.

Thankfully Itachi said he’d go out with her to assist in getting the perfect gift. He had insisted that he’d buy whatever Sakura picked out, but naturally she wouldn’t allow him to spend a grand amount. In the end she decided on a rather pricey – but not too pricey – sword maintenance kit that Itachi assured her Kisame could use with nearly all of his blades.

Sakura even let him pay for a professional to gift wrap the present. Where the card was concerned Sakura insisted she’d buy it herself. It was a simple comedy card she was sure would get a giggle or two.

After the present had been bought and the party planned there wasn’t anything left to do except wait.

The following weeks came in two very distinct speeds. Either the days flew past in a flurry of studying and homework or crawled along due to either the boys and their affections or Sakura’s friends giving her lectures about this or that.

She could literally wake up in Hidan’s arms, kiss until her lips were swollen and she gasped for air, and then head off to class and get lectured by at _least_ three of her high school friends. Naruto especially. It was obvious when she’d been doing a lot of kissing that morning and he was sure to tell Sakura what he thought of that.

Eventually Sakura snapped in the middle of the court yard. He’d gotten onto some rant about how they were simply using her and of course at the end of the year she’d never hear from them again.

“What if I don’t care that they’ll do that?” Sakura asked in an even tone.

Naruto was taken aback. He recoiled almost as if he was hit, “Sakura, you can’t seriously mean that.”

Sakura shrugged. “I dunno…” She herself didn’t know where that statement had come from. She didn’t want her boys to get what they want and then leave right after. None of them knew how this whole thing was going to end, but certainly it wasn’t going to be with a one night stand followed by zero contact.

Truthfully, Sakura had just wanted to shut Naruto up. Where did he get off saying this stuff anyways? He didn’t know any of them. Especially not how she knew them.

“Where is your evidence for any of this bullshit?” Sakura asked him.

“What?” Naruto asked, confused.

“Where is the evidence that they’ll do all these things you say they will?” Sakura spelled it out for him.

“Have you ever seen them with a girlfriend?” Naruto said.

“No, but I haven’t seen you or Sasuke with one either,” Sakura said flatly. “You gonna use up Hinata and then leave her?”

“That’s different!” Naruto defended himself.

“She has a point,” Sasuke interjected. “I can’t speak for the rest of them, but I know onii-san remained single because he couldn’t be bothered with a relationship. I thought he was asexual this whole time, honestly.”

Sakura gestured to Sasuke. “See. They’re vampires, for fuck’s sake. After being alive for a few centuries I would get sick of that shit too for a bit.”

Naruto sat back in his seat and grumbled. “It’s still a bad idea…”

“You’re just jealous she didn’t pick you,” Ino said and then looked down at her watch. “Sakura, I gotta get going. Walk me to my class?”

The two of them left with Naruto’s incessant yelling bidding them adieu. Sakura gave Ino a look while they walked away.

“You still have half an hour until class,” Sakura informed her.

Ino shrugged. “I was sick of listening to him. You’re a big girl, you can do whatever you want with whomever you want.”

Sakura smiled, “Thanks.”

Ino was the only one Sakura could really tell about her relationship to the Akatsuki. If she tried explaining to Naruto he blew up before she could get into it. Because Ino let Sakura finish her stories she realized there was more going on here than fucking. Hell, she knew there still hadn’t been any. Naruto wouldn’t let Sakura get in a word in edge-wise to deny the sexual encounters he seemed to cook up in his mind.

Over time Ino warmed to the whole idea and even worked her way into the home more often. She figured getting to know the boys that were all over her precious Sakura would be a smarter idea than blindly hating them.

By doing this Ino found that each of them had their own quirks and definitely their own flaws, but none set off alarms in her head. Yes they were vampires. Yes they’ve killed not only humans but probably a witch or two in the past. But if any creature was good at changing with the times, it was them.

The only real danger Ino could foresee would perhaps be pregnancy. But that would have to be a complete fluke. Sakura had said multiple times they’d never gone that far.

But Ino knew these things weren’t a constant. Anything could sway her best friend’s opinion on when the best time for sex was.

Playing it safe, Ino insisted Sakura always carry condoms in her bag now. While the thought of doing this put a blush on her face, Sakura agreed.

Sakura would be lying if she said that the thought had never really crossed her mind. Especially when things really got going.

A few days prior Sakura had been entangled with Itachi in his room. The way his hands had slid over her skin made her shiver. His lips on her neck. The weight of his body over hers. That hard heat proudly pressed against her hip.

If it had been another one of the Akatsuki who knows how far that would have gone. But it had been Itachi showering her with affection, and he made sure not to go too far. It was clear Itachi had control over himself even if what they were doing was driving him crazy. It was one reason Sakura loved kissing him. She could let herself go with Itachi because she trusted him completely to judge the situation for her.

Things were much different with some of the others. Even Sasori would let things get pretty damn far before Sakura intervened. But when it came to Hidan she always had to be on her toes.

If Sakura simply found herself alone in a room with Hidan they’d be at it in seconds. However it wasn’t just Hidan who instigated their make out sessions. And while Sakura was always the one to end it, she did so later and later with each day. One day Sakura had told Ino that she had yet to remove her own shirt during their intimate moments. Ino had jokingly said Sakura should let him remove more of her clothing since it was only fair. Hidan paraded around shirtless all the time, so it was about time Sakura gave him a little bit, too.

“Maybe I will,” Sakura had said in response. It was a good idea and one Sakura found herself thinking she was ready for.

To Sakura’s surprise Ino elbowed her playfully while smirking. “That’s my girl.”

With Ino on her side Sakura’s life had gotten much less stressful. Still on their way to Ino’s class Sakura turned to look at her friend, “Hey.”

Ino turned her head, “Yeah?”

“Thanks,” Sakura said.

Ino smiled. “For what?”

“Not being a dick.”

“Anytime. Honestly I don’t get Naruto. Even Sasuke doesn’t seem to really care and his brother is mixed up in this fray,” Ino said.

Sakura sighed. “Yeah, but at least he’s talking to me again?”

“I guess. I want to know what beef he seems to have with them, though. Despite what I said earlier, I doubt he’s actually jealous of them,” Ino said. “It’s gotta be something to do with them specifically.”

Sakura thought about it. It wasn’t a surprise that Naruto would think this situation was silly, but over time he would have accepted it like Ino and Sasuke. So, why the hell did he still have a stick up his ass about it? Ino had a point, it was probably something to do with the Akatsuki themselves.

Sakura stopped walking and slapped a hand to her forehead. “ _Shit!_ ”

Ino raised an eyebrow at her friend. “Forget something?”

“ _Yes!_ ” Sakura ran her hand through her hair. “Oh god Ino, I just remembered why the fuck Naruto probably hates this whole thing.”

Ino motioned for her to continue. “Well come on, there aren’t any commercial breaks here.”

Sakura slumped her shoulders and put the hell of her palm against one eye. “In middle school… Oh god, don’t you remember what they did in middle school?”

“Who?”

“The Akatsuki,” Sakura shook her head. “Fuck I completely forgot. For some reason they had an issue with werewolves or something and they _tormented_ Naruto and the others. Especially him and that kid Gaara.” She walked over to a light pole and leaned her back against it.

Ino came over and put a hand on her shoulder. “I forgot about that, too… But, I do remember Chouji telling us about it. He said it wasn’t too bad, though. Since they were so young apparently they weren’t too mean to them.”

Sakura shook her head. “They were nice to people like Chouji and Kiba because they kept their heads down and didn’t snap back at them.”

Ino breathed out a laugh. “Lemme guess; Naruto fought with them?”

Sakura tilted her head back against the pole. “So much. And… For so long. Shit, how did I forget about this? No wonder he’s so upset.”

Naruto had every reason to be upset, frankly. Being beaten nearly to death didn’t exactly make for good friends. While most of the other werewolves steered clear of the Akatsuki – and, frankly, almost every single other vampire in and out of school – Naruto made sure they all knew that if they wanted to fight a werewolf he was ready to go.

This had started in the beginning of middle school and didn’t end until Naruto flat out challenged an Akatsuki member in their second year of high school. When Sasuke had seen what happened he’d taken the issue up with his brother. Apparently by that time the vampires hadn’t had any more reason to go after werewolves so it was a simple matter to keep them away from Naruto.

Sakura didn’t know any of the specifics. Neither Naruto nor Sasuke would tell her. At this point it didn’t matter, but of course Naruto was pissed.

Sakura pushed off of the pole. “I have to talk to him.” She turned and ran back to the courtyard, yelling that Ino should head off without her.

Lucky for Sakura both Naruto and Sasuke were still sitting at a table. Naruto still looked pretty mad. Sakura felt like shit.

She walked over and gave a small wave.

Naruto looked over when she got closer. “I thought you had to walk Ino to class?”

Sakura took a seat next to him and shrugged. “She’s a big girl, she knows the way.” She fidgeted in her seat and looked over to Sasuke. “Hey, can I talk to Naruto alone for a minute?”

Sasuke gave a simple nod and got up. He waved and headed off leaving Naruto and Sakura alone.

“What is it?” Naruto asked, looking concerned.

Sakura rubbed her hands together nervously but kept Naruto’s gaze. She took a deep breath, “I’ve been a terrible friend.” Naruto gave her a confused stare, but remained quiet, letting Sakura continue. “I should have remembered what they did to you. I honestly can’t believe I forgot. I am so sorry, Naruto.”

The blond stared at her with a blank face for all of two seconds before breaking out a huge grin and laughing. “That’s what you think this is about?”

“Huh?” Sakura furrowed her eye brows together.

Naruto shook his head, “I haven’t thought about that stuff since, like, eleventh grade. The fucker that put me in the hospital isn’t even in that house.”

Sakura slammed her palm down on the table. “Then what the hell is your problem?”

Naruto rested his head on a hand, looking bored. “I’ve already told you. They could leave after they round home base.”

Sakura sighed. “Even if they do, that’s my problem. I won’t come running to you if it happens, if that’s what you want.”

“Of course I wouldn’t want that,” Naruto leaned forward suddenly. “You’re one of my best friends, Sakura. I don’t want to see you hurt again. After what happened with Sasuke…” He paused and shook his head. “I don’t want you to suffer again. That’s it.”

Sakura couldn’t help smiling. “I know, and I thank you for it. If any of them do hurt me, you can beat them up.”

“I’m a lot stronger than I was in high school,” Naruto pointed out.

“Then it’s settled,” Sakura said. “You’ll be the first I call and you can hulk out on whoever the poor bastard might be.”

“Fine, but I’m still gonna nag you every now and then,” Naruto said. “I still think it’s too many guys at once…”

Sakura felt her face flush. “I-It’s not… _All_ at once…”

Naruto laughed despite himself. It was good to hear. Sakura found herself laughing and joking with him within minutes. After what felt like only twenty minutes Sakura saw Ino fast walking on the edge of the courtyard toward her next class.

“What time is it??” Sakura jumped up and looked at her phone to see that two hours had passed since she sat down with Naruto. “Shit!”

“What’s wrong?” Naruto asked.

“I’m late!” Sakura grabbed her things and gave the boy a quick hug. “I’m so sorry, Naruto. We’ll continue this later, okay? Text me!”

Naruto waved her off and rolled his eyes. Whatever she was late for, he was glad to have spent some normal time with her.

Sakura sped through the campus and headed back to the house. How could she be so spacey? She’d told Itachi they’d study today at three o’clock and it was now five. He was not going to be happy with this. Not to mention Deidara had told her to be quick because apparently there was something going on tonight that they wanted her to join in on. Knowing them it was another TV show binge. Why did she give them access to her Netflix account?

Or perhaps it was more planning for Kisame’s party? It was tomorrow after all. Maybe they had some last minute ideas they wanted to bounce around. Either way, none of them were going to be too happy about her terrible late-ness.

She burst through the front door, panting, “I’m here! I’m here!”

“About time,” Hidan walked straight over to her and handed her a glass of green colored liquid.

Sakura took it and gave him a look. “The hell am I doing with this?”

“Drinking it,” Hidan said.

“Why…?” Sakura asked while taking her jacket off with one hand.

“Because I said so,” he leaned down to be eye level with her.

It was obvious Hidan was not going to move until Sakura downed whatever was in the shot glass. Bracing herself, she brought the cup to her lips and sipped it down, squishing up her face at the burning sensation.

Once finished she handed it back to Hidan. “What the hell was that?”

“Never you mind,” Hidan took the empty glass and gave her a new, full one.

“No way,” Sakura put her arms up in an ‘X’. “Not until I settle in.”

Hidan put the glass in her hand. “Drink that, and then you can go do whatever.”

Sakura scrunched her face up at the drink. “But it’s so nasty.”

“It’s not about the taste.”

Sakura shook her head. “Why the hell are you shoving alcohol in my face? Did you put something in this? Tobi, did he put something in this?”

Tobi shook his head, “No, we just wanted you to join in the party!”

“What party?” Sakura asked.

“Don’t people usually drink and shit for this holiday?” Hidan asked.

“Holiday…?” Sakura racked her brain and then remembered what today was. “Oh! St. Patrick’s is today, that’s right.” Well, that made more sense. She couldn’t see them randomly giving her alcohol on a normal day.

She took a closer look around and saw there were bottles of many shapes, sizes, and colors on the kitchen table. The boys that were out here had a glass of some sort in their hands; Sakura could tell just from looking that they’d been at this for a while.

She shook her head and handed the glass back to Hidan. “I should probably do my homework before I get drunk,” Sakura made her way to her room but was stopped by Tobi.

“Why? Next week is Spring Break.”

Sakura couldn’t bring up a good enough excuse. Truthfully she’d just wanted a moment to breathe before engaging in social activities.

“Come on, Sakura,” Deidara called from the couch. “Think of it as a test run for tomorrow night, hm.”

“Is drinking two nights in a row advised?” Sakura asked.

“When you’re off of school for two weeks,” Hidan handed the glass back to Sakura. “Come on, we gotta know if you need to be babysat tomorrow.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means we have to see what kind of drunk you are before we let you lose in a club,” Hidan said.

“For your own safety,” Deidara added.

Sakura puffed out her chest. “You don’t think I can take care of myself?”

“Have you ever had alcohol? Ever?” Hidan asked.

“Well…” Sakura thought about it. “There was one time at Ino’s…”

Hidan leaned towards her, “Do go on.”

Sakura smacked his arm. “It was after our graduation ceremony. Her mom just gave us some wine and we spent the night watching cat videos and other sleepover stuff.”

“Boring,” Hidan headed to the other couch to plop down and grab a glass on the coffee table.

“Not really,” Sakura sat down next to Deidara and smiled at the memory. “Hinata and TenTen came over eventually and the four of us stayed up all night. Sure the alcohol wore of eventually, but it was still fun. Especially when we took TenTen’s phone and texted Neji. You should have seen her face. She didn’t even realize what we did until we got Neji to agree to go out with her. She went from pissed to near dying in thirty seconds flat.” Sakura laughed remembering how close TenTen had come to literally killing them all.

“Devious,” Deidara said.

“Very,” Sakura brought the glass up to her lips and tossed it back. Through her grimace she managed to get out, “I’m going to have to eat something before I have anymore. I haven’t eaten since breakfast.”

After a bowl of ramen and a quick, albeit tipsy, shower Sakura was ready to party. She decided to pace herself, though. None of the guys were going to ease up until late in the night. If she wanted to keep up, she couldn’t pound back drink after drink like they did. A shot or two every hour was more than enough for her. By midnight she’d held off on drinking for about two hours. This didn’t go unnoticed by anybody. When the clock read one she was being handed a very strong smelling drink by Deidara.

She gave him a skeptical look but he reassured her. “Last one, promise.”

“You sure? ‘Cause Hidan said that about the last three,” Sakura said.

“I’m not Hidan, hm.”

Sakura thought about that. “You’re right.” She took the drink, downed it, and put the glass down. Her face scrunched up at the burn. “Jesus fuck, that’s fucking strong.”

“Yup,” Deidara patted her head. “Had to do just one more experiment tonight.”

Sakura glared up at him. “I’m not a Guinea pig.”

“No you aren’t. But like we said, we want to make sure you’re not some weird or stupid sort of drunk, hm.”

“Like what?” Sakura wobbled and leaned against the kitchen table. “You guys think I’ll go egg a house or something? Puh-lease. Waste of eggaroos.”

“You don’t seem like the egging type,” Deidara said.

Sakura waved the thought away. “Then what, y’guys afraid I’ll, like, get all touchy or somethin’? Don’ want me gettin’ all up on some guy at the clubs?”

Deidara took her chin between two fingers and smirked down at her. “As if you’d settle for anyone but us.”

Sakura made no point to hide her obvious visual perusal of Deidara’s body. “True. Then, what, wanna make sure I won’t get all touchy on you guys?”

Deidara leaned in closer so she could hear him – some of the guys had started blasting music. “I wouldn’t be opposed to it, hm.”

Sakura laughed, “Pfft, o’course you wouldn’. I bet you and Hidan were hopin’ I’d be a horny drunk or something. Sad for you, I think I’m just uncoordinated and laughy.”

“Maybe we just didn’t give you the right drink,” Deidara said and faked a contemplative look. “I hear tequila might be able to get the job done.”

Sakura swatted at his arm but giggled nonetheless. “If I fuck any of you, it’s gon’ be sober, thank you very much.”

Deidara leaned in and kissed her forehead, chuckling. “Promise?”

“Mhmm,” Sakura nodded and then yawned. “What time is it again?”

“Just past one, but there’s no way you’re going to bed now,” Deidara said.

“What, will you miss me?” Sakura teased.

“That, and you need to drink some water before you sleep or you’re going to have a hell of a morning, hm.”

“Oh,” Sakura nodded. “Right.” She pushed herself off from the table and made her way straight for the kitchen. Well, more like curved towards the kitchen. Once she got there it was a whole new challenge to reach up to the shelf with the cups. She had to stand on her tiptoes to reach, which was already precarious enough sober. After five minutes of struggling a hand reached up past hers to grab a large cup.

Sakura looked over to see Kisame laughing, “Here you go.”

She took the cup and smiled up at him. “Thanks,” she went to the sink and filled it as much as it would go. Before spilling any she took a few big gulps. “Oh god that felt so nice.”

“Done for the night?” Kisame leaned against the counter.

Sakura looked down at the cup. “Dunno.” She took another sip and threw another grin to him. “This is fun.”

Kisame chuckled. “Take a rest anyways. You don’t need to push your little mortal body.”

Sakura put a hand on her hip in mock anger. “Bitch, first off.”

Kisame barked a laugh. “First off what? You gonna challenge me to a drinking game or something?”

“Oh, hell no.” Sakura shook her head. “I don’t need to die before you even have your party. But, I took a near three hour rest already!”

“I thought you told Deidara that last drink was your last?”

“That was before I was challenged.”

“Challenged?”

Sakura nodded and put her water down. She walked over to the dining table and picked up a nearly half-full bottle. She held it up to look at what was inside. Whiskey. There wasn’t very much left, but just enough to pose a challenge. She turned around and held the bottle up for Kisame to see. “I bet you I can finish this in one hour.”

“Look out,” Hidan called over. “We got ourselves a wild child.”

Sakura stuck her tongue out at him. “Shut up, I know for you all this is a small shot, but my liver isn’t a super liver. Also I’m still a newbie.”

Kisame came out of the kitchen and motioned to the bottle. “And what if you do finish it?”

Sakura thought about it. “How about… If I win, y’guys have to do whatever I want and take me wherever I want on my birthday. But, if I don’ finish it, I gotta do whatever y’guys want on _your_ respective birthdays. Like if I lost then tomorrow I’d haf’ta do whatever Kisame wants, like take him wherever and stuff.”

“I’m in,” Hidan put his hand up, smirking.

“Of course you are,” Sakura said but held up the bottle. “Start the timer.”

She started out strong, taking swigs every few minutes. But the more she got down, the slower she drank. By the half hour mark Sakura was thinking this may have been a terrible idea. At this rate she was either going to blow chunks or pass out cold. Neither seemed like very good options. She allowed herself ten minutes to rest her liver, that wasn’t nearly enough time.

The last twenty minutes flew by rather quickly. Too quickly. Sakura had been sure she had good ten more minutes when Hidan had called time. She looked down at the liquid remaining in the bottle and frowned.

“Damn,” Sakura pouted.

The rest of the night consisted of typical drunken shenanigans – though Sakura refrained from anymore alcohol. Cup of water in hand, she hung out with the guys as they did, well, what they normally do. Only drunk.

Game of Thrones and The Walking Dead were oh so much more amusing when the audience was smashed. So they wouldn’t forget new episodes, they watched shows from the beginning until it bored them. At one point Sakura insisted that they spend time on YouTube so the guys could be well versed in the thrilling sagas that were Charlie the Unicorn and Llamas With Hats. Itachi had laughed so hard he started crying. Which in turn made Sakura laugh until her stomach cramped and she had to squeeze her legs together to keep from pissing herself.

Sakura had the brilliant idea to load up Surgeon Simulator on her laptop and let the guys take turns trying to preform heart surgery. It was hilarious and terrifying all at once. Sakura went from laughing to worrying for the safety of her laptop in a few seconds. She shrugged, they could buy her a new one if they broke it.

While they were busy she went to the kitchen to refill her water. She was starting to sober up, but she wanted to make sure she was good before going to bed. There was too much to do tomorrow to have a hangover.

The rest of the night passed in a bit of a blur. One minute someone was screaming about having gotten poked with the wrong needle in Surgeon Simulator, and then the next Sakura was pressed up against the fridge being ravished with kisses by Deidara. Then she was showing them Goat Simulator to try and ebb the immense frustration the previous game caused.

The next time Sakura looked at the clock it read five in the morning. By this point Sakura was sure she was good to go to sleep. She’d pissed probably her body weight in water and felt no bit drunk – just tired as hell.

Telling the guys goodnight she headed off to her own room. Waking up with one of them way always fun, but Sakura was too damn tired tonight. Whoever she’d have woken up next to would’ve been in for a grumpy surprise. Sakura needed her energy for tomorrow.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick note: if you have clicked on a link that sent you straight to this chapter, READ THE PREVIOUS ONE FIRST! I don't want anyone skipping anything D:

Despite her efforts Sakura still woke up with a minor headache. She chalked it up as a win for her nonetheless. This was nothing some aspirin couldn’t fix. She headed off to the bathroom to grab the medicine before properly greeting the world.

Sakura could remember the beginning and the end of last night with ease, but the middle was fuzzy. She could recall some sort of drinking challenge, but nothing awful came to her mind. Sure, there had been plenty of flirting. And she was sure at one point Deidara had pounced on her in the kitchen, but that was it.

“Not bad,” Sakura told herself. She had made out well for her first time getting properly drunk. Tonight would certainly go off without a hitch. If she as well as the guys could control themselves in the privacy of their own home then they could do so in public as well.

Truly the only thing Sakura was worried about was going too far too fast with any of them. Again, it’s not to say Sakura is against getting down and dirty with any of them, but not yet. And definitely not when they’re drunk to the point of not even remembering it.

Sakura will be damned if she doesn’t remember her first time getting dick. It’s like the first kiss you ever get from anyone. It’s special and usually makes for a good story. So, being able to clearly remember what happened is important.

Sakura knew she didn’t _really_ need to worry, but the anxiety was still there. Thankfully she had a pretty good line of defense. Ino had heard her discussing logistics with Itachi and nearly begged to come. Kisame said he didn’t mind, so Ino would also be accompanying them tonight. If anyone would work as a fantastic cockblock, it was Ino.

Strange to think of her like that, but it’s true. Ino may have been promiscuous in high school, but she did it with reason. Always sober, and always with willing parties. Even though they’d all be inebriated tonight – underage or not – Ino would be keeping her eye on Sakura. The main reason Ino wanted to come was to have a night of dancing anyways. Sai was not one for clubs and most of their friends weren’t really into it either. Sure Kiba and Naruto could party like there’s no tomorrow but going with only those two isn’t the night out Ino wants.

Sakura assured Ino they would be dancing and having fun together, but that she would need to give Kisame a good amount of attention, too. Ino didn’t have a problem with that and told Sakura she’d hang with Itachi or something. As long as she was with a buddy, Sakura was happy.

Once she was dressed and full of medicine she went for food.

“Look who’s finally up,” Hidan said when Sakura came out of her room.

Sakura didn’t even look at him and continued to the pantry. “Humans tend to sleep in when they stay up until sunrise.” She grabbed a box of cereal and sat on the couch next to Kisame.

“We have bowls,” Kisame said.

“Too hungry,” Sakura shoved her hand into the box and ate as much as her mouth would allow. She’d gotten only a few bites in when there was a knock at the door.

Before anyone could get up Ino waltzed in, smiling wide. “Afternoon, everyone.”

Hidan made a noise of recognition while staying focused on the TV. Kisame and Sakura waved and returned the greeting.

Ino came over and put her hands on her hips. “Sakura, did you just wake up?”

“…No,” Sakura said with her mouth full.

“It’s two in the afternoon,” Ino said.

“What?” Sakura turned to look at the nearest clock to make sure Ino wasn’t screwing with her. “Why didn’t you guys wake me up earlier??”

“You threatened bodily harm to us if we dared think of it,” Kisame informed her.

Ino walked over and nudged at Sakura’s shoulder, “Come on, we gotta get going if we’re gonna get you ready in time.”

Hidan turned to give Ino a confused look. “We aren’t even leaving for seven hours.”

“Well it wouldn’t take so long if – “ Sakura was cut off when Ino put a hand over her mouth.

“Uh uh,” Ino said and pulled on her shoulder again. “They don’t get to know until they see you there.”

Sakura stood up but kept eating her cereal. “Can’t I at least finish eating?”

Ino was walking over to Sakura’s room, “Bring it. You’re going to need all the food you can get today.”

Sakura followed slowly. “Why?”

There was silence until Ino came back with a pair of shoes and Sakura’s bag. “Because you are going to get hella turnt tonight, duh. Gotta have as much in your stomach as possible.”

Sakura put on the shoes and slung her purse over her shoulder. “If it’s anything like last night I think I’ll be fine.”

“Last night?” Ino raised an eyebrow.

Hidan let out a laugh, “Sakura, last night was nothing compared to what’s gonna happen tonight.”

Sakura raised her eyebrows and looked over to Kisame who didn’t make any move to deny what Hidan said. “Alright then…”

Ino shook her head and walked to the door. “Come on, you can tell me everything in the car. We have to get going now or traffic is going to be a bitch.”

“The hell are you going?” Kisame asked.

Ino smiled, “It’s a secret.”

When both girls were in the car Sakura asked Ino the same question, “Where the hell _are_ we going?”

“The mall, silly.”

“For?”

Ino glanced over to Sakura and turned the car on. “I am not letting you go out to your first club in anything that you currently own.” She put the car into gear and pulled out. “Don’t get me wrong, your wardrobe is adorable. But for tonight you need a bit more than adorable. Not to mention your underwear game could be upped as well.”

“You already bought me underwear!” Sakura said.

“Those were just cute,” Ino said with a gleam in her eyes. “Today I’m buying you something that is specifically for the person looking at you.”

“I thought you were supposed to be there to make sure I _didn’t_ boink anyone.”

Ino blinked and bit the inside of her cheek to keep from laughing. “Boink?”

“To make sure I don’t screw anyone.”

“Well sure,” Ino agreed. “But I imagine Kisame – and yourself – wouldn’t mind a bit of skin tonight. And why not make sure he gets you wrapped up in a sexy bow?”

“You’re buying me a bow?” Sakura asked, confused.

“It’s a metaphor.” Ino rolled her eyes. “But tell me it’s not a good idea.”

Sakura thought about it and supposed Ino was right. She’d been sure _something_ would happen tonight. Truthfully she’d been excited to see what would unfold; who knows what will happen if she takes Ino’s advice. She nodded and took another handful of cereal. “Alright, get me whatever you please.”

Ino raised her eyebrows in surprise. “Seriously?”

Sakura nodded. “Yup. You’re right, this is my first time at a club – or out at all – and I want to know I look damn good.”

Ino smirked. “You asked for it.”

* * *

 

Five hours and probably five miles later Sakura and Ino walked out of the mall with just three bags on Sakura’s arm – Ino had both her arms full, but Sakura wasn’t surprised.

The only things Sakura had needed were a dress, shoes, and the undergarments. Everything else like makeup or accessories could be found at Ino’s place. While Sakura was fine with looking as provocative as legally possible tonight, that didn’t mean she wanted Ino to break the bank.

The two of them sped back to Ino’s so they could have as much time as possible to get ready. Ino knew it wouldn’t actually take two hours if they went at a decent pace, but that was if Ino knew what exactly she wanted Sakura to look like. Sure she had the dress and shoes to work with, but there were a few hairstyles and makeup combinations she wanted to try.

Once they got to Ino’s they got to work. Her roommate was out for the evening so Ino told Sakura to just do away with her shirt while Ino did her hair and makeup.

She would be damned if all of her hard work was undone just because Sakura had to take her shirt off to put on her dress. That could be pulled up over her hips.

Sakura sat in a chair Ino dragged into that bathroom and held nearly still for an hour and a half while Ino worked. The only movement was from her mouth while they conversed.

“Remember, don’t leave your drink alone. Ever. If you do, or if you take your eyes off of it, get a new one,” Ino was telling her.

Sakura would have nodded but Ino had a hot curling iron centimeters from her scalp. “Right.”

“If you’re not with me, stay with one of the guys. I don’t care which one, but always be within arm’s reach of one of us. If you have to pee, come find me. Or have Deidara put his hair down and go into the bathroom with you.”

Sakura giggled. “Ino, don’t worry, it’ll be fine.”

“Even if you have to shit, you are to take one of us. If Deidara laughs at your bowels, I’ll kill him,” Ino said and removed the curling iron to let the strand bounce down next to Sakura’s face. It was a refreshing warmth in Ino’s freezing bathroom.

Sakura sighed, “Okay. Even if I have to shit.”

Ino stepped back and took stock of her work. After a moment she smiled and clapped her hands together. “Perfect! Let me get the hairspray.”

Sakura held her breath and closed her eyes while Ino doused her in the sticky spray. She coughed and opened her eyes when the air settled. “Now what?”

Ino took out her makeup bag. “I know we already did your makeup, but I want to do some touch ups real quick.”

“Alright,” Sakura rolled her shoulders around while she hand the chance. Sitting like this for over an hour was taking its toll.

Ino sat down in front of her on the toilet lid and took out some lipstick. “Also, if you have to leave the club for any reason, take someone. Even if it’s just a phone call. And if you outright need to leave and go somewhere either get me, or text me. If I can’t find you, it’s the first thing I’ll be looking for. I’ll be doing the same.”

Sakura made an, “Uh huh,” sound without moving her lips.

Once Ino finished with the touch ups she sat back and smiled. “Sakura, my dear, you are complete!”

“Finally,” Sakura groaned and immediately stood up to stretch her arms, shoulders, and neck. “Can I finally see myself?”

“Yup!”

Sakura walked over to the mirror and had to do a quick double take. The hair assured her she was indeed looking at her reflection, but the face was so different. And yet still obviously her.

Ino had not gone easy on the makeup. Yet it didn’t look clown-like. Her eyes were shrouded in a black, purple, and silver combination with the purple and silver dusting her lid above the black shadow. Her cheeks were contoured well enough with a very light red lipstick.

“Wow,” Sakura said in a quiet voice.

“Now, go put on your dress and whatnot while I get my sexy face on,” Ino said and pulled her bangs back to have easy access to all of her face.

Sakura went over to her bags in Ino’s bedroom and picked up the pink Victoria’s Secret bag first. Was she really about to put this thing on? She took a deep breath and nodded to herself. Hell yeah she was going to put it on. And she was going to look damn fucking sexy in it. Quickly undressing she put the set on without really looking down until she was covered. She went over to the full length mirror and looked at herself.

She was right. She looked sexy as hell. The black lace bra with nearly blood red accents made her breasts look amazing while the matching cheeksters made her ass look even better. Next up was the dress Ino had gotten her. This garment was simple, but still looked fantastic on Sakura when she’d tried it on. The bottom of it came to around her mid-thigh with the neckline dipping down in a deep v well into her cleavage. The top came up to clip behind her neck and Sakura was thankful Ino had the foresight to get her a bra that could be strapless. All that was left now were the shoes, but those were definitely not needed yet.

Knowing Ino wouldn’t be done yet Sakura grabbed her phone and made herself as comfortable as possible in the bed. She scrolled through Facebook until Ino came in with her hair and makeup completed and outfit of the night adorned.

“I knew that would look great on you,” Ino said smiling. “Come on, I have some necklaces that would look great with that.”

After another half hour in Ino’s closet Sakura was pronounced ready. Simple black and silver jewelry made great accents. Sakura had also inquired about some kind of sweater or leggings since it was supposed to be chilly that night.

“Trust me, it won’t be cold in the club,” Ino informed her.

This was probably true. All the dancing and combined body heat would make the room warm. Right now Sakura wished she was already there. The chilly air combined with Ino’s insanely cold dorm was getting to be a bit much.

“What time is it?” Sakura asked.

Ino looked at her phone. “Nine on the dot.”

“We should get going,” Sakura made to grab her bag.

Ino intercepted her. “You might want to carry something lighter.” Sakura made a pointed glance to Ino’s closet. The blonde headed over and grabbed a clutch for her friend. “This should work.” Ino handed it to Sakura but took it back quickly. “Wait,” she went to her nightstand and pulled out a square wrapper and stuck it in the purse.

Sakura blushed. “Ino I don’t need a condom!”

Ino handed her the purse. “Better to have it and not need it.”

Sakura grumbled and took the bag from her. She didn’t argue because Ino was right. At the moment all Sakura wanted to do was have fun with her friends, but who knew about later. So she put her phone and wallet into the bag and waited for Ino to gather her things as well. Since it was already so late Sakura texted Kisame that they’d just meet them at the club.

“I’ll get my things later tonight or tomorrow I guess,” Sakura told Ino.

“Works for me,” Ino replied.

The rest of the ride had the two girls singing along to whatever song came on the radio. They made a quick pit stop at a drive through when Ino’s stomach began to rumble. In their frenzy to get ready they’d forgotten to actually eat dinner. Quickly scarfing down a burger and fries on the road they were able to make it to the club in time to touch up their faces. You can either eat at a snail’s pace or screw up your makeup Sakura found.

The two got out of the car and went inside. There was a place in the front to store your coats and bags if you wanted so the two of them did so, got their little tickets to retrieve them later, and went inside. Sakura had made sure to stick her phone in her bra so she texted Kisame letting them know they’d arrived. He had already texted her nearly twenty minutes ago that they’d already gotten there.

She was halfway through sending the text when she heard a voice right next to her ear, “You finally made it.”

Sakura whipped around to see Deidara smirking down at her. When he got full look at her his smirk faltered for only a moment. “If it weren’t for that hair I wouldn’t have recognized you, hm.”

Sakura raised her voice to be heard over the blaring music, “Ino can do wonders to a person.”

Deidara nodded to his right, “Come on, we’re all this way.”

The two girls followed him up to the second level and to a large table that seated all but one of the boys. But only barely. They really had to squeeze in together. Sakura was practically sitting in Kisame’s lap, not that she minded. In fact she pushed herself closer against him to try and get some sort of body warmth. As cold as these guys were, they absorbed some of the heat in the club and Sakura was eager to suck it up. It wasn’t like he needed it.

“You look great,” Kisame leaned down to tell her. It was quieter up here, so he didn’t have to yell to be heard.

“You don’t look so bad yourself,” Sakura returned the compliment. “Where’s Sasori?”

“Getting the fucking drinks. Or at least he’s supposed to be,” Hidan said. His leg was bouncing impatiently.

“He’s only been gone five minutes,” Deidara said to Hidan.

“He left to get them when we got here,” Hidan said.

After the burger Sakura was fine to wait on the drinks. She glanced over to the bar and was able to spot the redhead in a second. His hair stood out almost as much as her own. He was clearly speaking with the barman. He should return soon.

“He better hurry up,” Ino said from next to Sakura. “I want to dance already.”

“Same!” Tobi said. “If he takes much longer one of you can have my drink.”

“Dibs,” Kisame called out.

“So,” Hidan called over to Sakura, “Where did you two end up going today anyways?”

“The mall,” Ino said vaguely.

Hidan gestured to Sakura’s dress, “Well, obviously.”

“Oh you know, La Blanc, Mezzian’s, Victoria’s Secret, Sapphire, some Forever 21-esque places,” Ino said.

Sakura gave Ino a blank stare. Doing this made her miss the quick glance both Kisame and Hidan directed to Sakura’s chest. Well, maybe not so quickly for one.

Hidan sat back and didn’t say another word. A moment later Sasori returned with a large tray filled with different colored drinks. He placed it in the center of the table and sat down. “I spoke with the manager. They’ll be coming by and refilling our refreshments every so often.”

Hidan grabbed a glass and threw it back. “How long is every so often?”

His question as answered when a waiter brought another tray full of more glasses of different shapes and sizes. Being so near the school grounds the employees here were well aware of the types of patrons that would come through. Knowing they were serving a large party of vampires the bar made sure to frequently bring by strong drinks.

Sakura made the mistake of grabbing a stronger glass and spent a good thirty seconds trying not to choke on the burning sensation. She was sure that it had to have been straight alcohol. Not vodka or whiskey but just flat out alcohol. With these guys she wouldn’t be surprised.

“You gotta give it a sniff first,” Ino leaned over and told her. “If it burns your nose it’s gonna burn your throat.”

“Got it,” Sakura grabbed another and gave it a sniff. After a few more sips and shots she felt ready to dance. For good measure she took another shot though.

Those who wanted to went down to the first floor to start dancing. At first Sakura stuck next to Ino like glue. She had no clue how to dance like the rest of these people. It took some time but Ino got her to start moving like she knew what she was doing. It took another trip up to the table to get another shot or two before Sakura looked confident in her movements.

Now, just because she was confident in her moves on her own that didn’t mean she was at all prepared when she felt a body come up behind her and start dancing against her. Startled was a bit of an understatement, but when she heard Hidan’s familiar voice she relaxed. A bit.

Her movements faltered as she felt his hands running up and down her stomach. Hidan didn’t miss the change. He would have loved to keep teasing her to see her reactions but it would be much more fun to get her acquainted to dancing with a partner. Then perhaps they could have a bit more fun.

He came around to her front and they continued dancing, Sakura’s movements returning to their fluidity. With each song Hidan let himself get closer and touch her more until their torsos were nearly touching. At the end of a song Sakura mentioned she wanted to go up and rest for a minute and get something to drink.

She went up and sat down next to Sasori who was obviously well sauced already. The way he looked at Sakura when she sat down made her cheeks flush. She took a few gulps of water that had been brought to the table along with the alcohol. Dancing was hard work and she’d be damned if she became dehydrated tonight.

After finishing a glass she found Sasori passing her something that was definitely not water. Knowing he’d never do anything underhanded Sakura took a sip from it.

“Mmm!” Sakura said and took a few more big sips. “This is so good.”

“I thought you’d like it,” Sasori said and slid over to where their arms were touching. “Something sweeter.”

Sakura nodded and smiled. “Thanks. All these bitter as fuck drinks work, but they’re not too fun to down.”

Sasori simply hummed in agreement. “You look fantastic tonight.”

“Thanks,” Sakura kept smiling at him. “Ino knows how to shop, doesn’t she?”

“Yes,” he leaned closer to Sakura. He may have been around her height when they stood, but while sitting Sasori was taller than her. He loomed over her and she looked up at him with flushed cheeks.

“A-Are you having fun?” Sakura asked trying to distract herself from his intense gaze.

“Now that you’re up here,” Sasori said.

Sakura giggled at the clichéd response. What more could she expect from a hazed mind? “I had to get away from the noise for a bit. This is fun and all, but I can’t do it constantly like some of the others. Plus if I didn’t make my exit when I had the chance I have a feeling Hidan would have had me dancing until my feet bled.”

Sasori lifted a hand to move some of Sakura’s hair out of her face. “Do what you please tonight. It may be Kisame’s birthday but we all want you to have fun as well.”

“Don’t worry I’m going to be doing whatever I feel like, when I feel like it tonight,” Sakura assured him and scooted towards him, closing the space between them.

Sasori’s hand rested on her neck and his thumb rubbed against her skin. Sakura put her hand up behind his head and tangled her fingers in his hair. She pulled his head down to kiss him drunkenly. It wasn’t the most graceful kiss she’s ever had, but it still felt great to do. Sasori was right, she could do whatever she wanted tonight – within reason. And she wanted to know what it was like to kiss a drunk Sasori.

It started messy but they figured it out after a minute. Her hand stayed entangled in his hair while his ran down her neck to where her dress began. He followed the outer line of the dress. His hand trailed down to her waist and wrapped around her back to pull her closer. Any closer and she’d need to straddle him.

Her tongue was in his mouth and the way he sucked on it made a moan escape Sakura’s throat. If it wasn’t for his keen hearing Sasori wouldn’t have heard her. It made him want more. He broke off from the kiss and made his way down to her neck where he kissed and sucked and nibbled ever so lightly until she was biting her lip to keep quiet. Despite her best efforts moans still made their way to the back of her throat. These did not go unnoticed either.

He made his way back up to her mouth and while he nipped at her lip his hands came around the side of her torso and slid up just below her breast. Thankful that the table was near the back of the room Sasori continued and let his fingers ghost over the exposed skin just above her cleavage. He knew she must have put on a pushup bra because normally Sakura never had a chest this large.

Sakura broke away momentarily to catch her breath. Sasori brought his head back just far enough to take in her expression. Her face was flushed and her eyes were partly closed. She was almost panting and it made her chest rise and fall in such an inviting way.

As drunk as she was, Sakura didn’t miss his eyes glancing down at her breasts. It was a satisfying thought that she, for once, had cleavage for a man to look at. And damn straight she wanted him to look at it. That was the whole point of buying this push up. Sakura shifted so that she puffed out her chest a bit further, trying to make herself look sexier.

The action was subtle but Sasori noticed it. Any other night he would have taken this opportunity to go as far as she’d let him. But not tonight. He smiled slightly and slid another of those sweet drinks her way. Tonight was one of the few nights a particular member of their group could have all of Sakura’s affections to himself. If Sasori went ahead with what he’d like then who knows how that would affect events later that night.

Sakura pouted and Sasori chuckled. “Save this for Kisame. We can continue another day.”

Sakura blinked slowly and nodded when the works sunk in. She took the drink and started sipping it. Her mind was very hazy and Sakura knew she should be slowing down on the drinking for right now. When the drink was only half done she got up and told Sasori she was going back downstairs. Perhaps more dancing would work the alcohol through her system faster.

Once on the first floor Sakura made her way into the fray. She danced her way past solo drunken people, couples dancing provocatively, and groups of girls doing the same sort of provocative dance with each other. She found a semi empty spot and claimed it as her area.

A pair of hands wrapped around her waist for the second time that night. Sakura was about to scold Hidan for sneaking up on her again, but blond hair fell into her peripheral vision.

Deidara didn’t say anything as they danced together. He didn’t need to. His hands moved over her hips, her stomach. She was pulled back near flush against his chest. His head bent down for his lips to ghost over Sakura’s ear. Still he remained quiet. The breath on her earlobe made her shiver and she felt him laugh.

Deidara’s hands were ice cold even through the fabric. Everywhere he touched he left goose bumps. Yet Sakura felt as if she were on fire. Why couldn’t he _touch_ her? He’d move over her hip to the hem of her dress and then retreat back up. His hands ghosting over her chest made sure to avoid the skin that was centimeters away.

They danced together not saying a word for a song or two. The quiet between them left Sakura time to think. And think. And think. It gave Deidara more time to rile her up. The shallow pressure being applied to her belly, her hips, everywhere was maddening. She knew what those hands could do. She knew what he wanted to do. She knew what _she_ wanted him to do.

And he did, too.

The chuckle in her ear sent a spark straight between her legs. The deep baritone rumbled through his chest. She wouldn’t have felt it if she hadn’t been pressed against him.

“You’re such a tease,” Sakura said.

Another laugh. “For enjoying the innocent act of dancing with you?”

Sakura turned her head enough to catch sight of him. “There’s nothing innocent about the way you’re touching me.”

“You like it, hm.”

Sakura remained silent. Of course she did. She wouldn’t deny it. But that was exactly the problem. The damn artist was a wizard and he was doing barely anything to her. If he kept this up Sakura would have to resort to rather… Unladylike acts.

Deidara, finally, gave her more. Not much, but his hand over her breast gave a pleasurable squeeze. It was quick, and then he was gone. The cool expanse of his chest disappeared. Before Sakura could turn around a larger body replaced him. The color of the hands on her body told Sakura who it was.

She smirked, “Well if it isn’t the birthday boy. Guess Deidara’s turn was up.”

“Not really,” Kisame leaned in so she could hear him. “I just really wanted mine.”

Sakura leaned back against him, “You can have whatever you want today.”

“Anything?” Kisame’s voice was low. Sakura barely caught it.

She turned around and stood up on her tiptoes to kiss him. It was quick. A preview. She pulled back and looked up at him. “Anything. Within reason,” she let herself laugh. “I can’t get you a jet.”

“I’ll live,” Kisame leaned down to return the kiss.

They were upstairs in their hidden booth before the song ended. The rest of the party had the wits to leave when the two had come up the stairs. Kisame had sat as far back in the booth has he could. Sakura invited herself to swing a leg over his legs so she was straddling him. While surprised, Kisame didn’t protest their position. With her legs spread like this Sakura’s dress rode high up on her thighs. It gave Kisame a wonderful view of her long thighs. He didn’t spend long staring, though. With the way Sakura was staring up at him he couldn’t neglect her.

His arms wrapped around Sakura’s waist while her arms went around his neck. She bit at his bottom lip and then ran her tongue over it. Kisame took her tongue into his mouth and she gladly followed. He sucked on her tongue and Sakura couldn’t help grinding her hips against his.

She hadn’t expected him to moan back when she did so. Curious, she repeated the action and got the same result. Smirking, Sakura lowered herself to add more pressure and found a bulge growing under the apex of her thighs. If she hadn’t been drunk Sakura would have had the sense to be embarrassed. But that was not the theme tonight. Sakura let her weight settle on his erection and continued her ministrations in unison with their kiss. Her teasing soon backfired spectacularly when the friction against her sex started to feel just as good. The moan she let out against Kisame alerted him to her status change.

He didn’t miss a beat. One hand slid down to squeeze her ass and pull her hips closer to roll against his. The pitch of her moan changed and Kisame smirked. A quick thrust up from his hips sent her head back exposing the length of her neck. He noticed a hickey on her neck.

Sakura wasn’t his. But today, his day, that mark offended him. So he latched onto that spot and gave it a few light kisses before sucking at the area. Whoever had left this mark must have known what they’d been doing. When he sucked Sakura bucked her hips and let out another moan.

She was so goddamn sexy right now. Her chest heaved with each breath she took. Anywhere he touched she was on fire. His free hand went to her upper thigh and it was just as hot. He pushed his hand up further. All the writing Sakura had done caused her dress to ride up further. Even in the dim light Kisame could see her panty clad sex working against his jeans.

His hand slid further until his fingertips brushed the band of her panties on her hip. He followed it down as slow as he could manage.

“Ki – sa – me,” Sakura moaned. She knew what he was doing. Her only problem was he was going too damn slow. “Stop teasing me.”

Kisame paused, pulled his head back from her neck, and looked up. Her face was flushed with her eyes half closed and mouth parted as she took in shaky breaths. His length strained against his jeans and he instinctively ground up against her. The face she made when letting out that moan was the last straw. He leaned forward to whisper in her ear, “Let’s head back to the house.”

“Yes please,” Sakura breathed out and swung her leg over his lap. They were out of the booth and on their way to the exit, but not after Sakura took another three or maybe four shots of whatever she could grab – there was no more alcohol at the house and she wanted to be sure this buzz would last.

After getting her bag they headed outside. Sakura went to hail a cab but Kisame grabbed her and threw her around so she was on his back.

“What are you – “

“This is quicker,” Kisame cut her off and started running.

Sakura forgot for a minute there that Kisame had this ability. She was thankful for it. Being this aroused in a cab with him would have been agony. Plus they got home in only a few minutes this way – Sakura was extra thankful for this as her stomach had started doing summersaults. At the front door Sakura fumbled with the house key while Kisame stood behind her, kissing her neck and grabbing wherever he could. Just as his hand moved down to her thighs the door unlocked and Sakura threw it open.

Kisame kicked the door closed behind him and Sakura did quick work of removing her shoes. It was the only thing she herself was able to take off. Kisame had her in his hold as soon as she threw the second shoe aside. Sakura pushed up at the hem of his shirt and Kisame pulled it over his head and threw it behind him. Their lips met in a flurry of biting and tugging. They slowly made their way towards Kisame’s bedroom. That tingling in Sakura’s stomach grew along with the heat in between her legs. It seeped out and through her whole being until she felt as if she were suffocating on the heat. Her dress was suddenly far too tight so she unclasped the clip behind her neck. Kisame felt the top give way and pulled the garment down and away from her hips while Sakura kicked it off the rest of the way.

Sakura’s hands went to Kisame’s belt buckle and undid it, pushing them down leaving the two of them clad in nearly nothing. Kisame lifted Sakura up and pressed her back against the wall they’d made their way to. She wrapped her legs around his waist and pulled him closer. That same bulge from earlier pressed against her once more. Without the thick jean fabric Sakura got a much better _feel_ of Kisame. He ground against her just right and she let out a low moan. She wanted to grind back against him but her position prevented her from doing so. All she could do was kiss him back – and even that didn’t last.

He pulled back to kiss and suck at her neck again, leaving her mouth free to call out his name. Sakura let her head fall back against the wall. She grasped at his shoulders and shut her eyes. His fangs ran across her pulse and down to the top of her breasts. He reached around behind her and rubbed his fingers across the clasp of her bra.

Sakura understood the question and undid the clasp herself. Kisame was quick enough to take the straps off and drop it next to them. He wasted no time and closed his mouth over a hardened nipple. As much as he wanted to savor the sight of her like this he wanted to hear her moan his name again.

When a fang ran across her nipple Sakura shuddered against him. She arched her back to push herself closer to him while trying her best to grind her sex against his. His name fell from her lips in a mantra when he sucked and bit down on her.

“Kisame,” she breathed out, “Please.”

He gave the bud a nip and another suck before releasing it and lifting his head to look up at her. “Please what?”

Sakura rolled her head against the wall in frustration. That was a good question. She had no idea what she wanted, but it was more than what he was doing. “More. Please, I need something more.”

“Alright,” Kisame said in a deeper tone. He put his hands around her to hold her steady and pulled her away from the wall.

That feeling of her stomach twisting returned for a moment but vanished when Kisame laid her down on the bed and climbed on top of her. He gave her another kiss, this time much more gentle. He pulled back and looked down at her, using the pause to take in the scene before him. Kisame had not thought he’d have this girl in his bed, nearly naked, begging to be touched. But, here he was. And he would be damned if he didn’t make her scream by the end of the night.

Kisame took the other nipple in his mouth and tweaked the other with his left hand. The other ran down her side until he brushed the band of her panties again. Sakura squirmed underneath him and bucked her hips up. She was not going to allow this teasing bullshit now.

“Please,” she breathed out again. “Kisame, please,” she bucked her hips again for emphasis.

Kisame let her breast go and looked up at her. “Please what, Sakura?” His voice was so deep, it vibrated from his chest through to her stomach.

That queasy feeling returned but in her hazy state Sakura could only focus on one sensation at a time. Right now she desperately wanted to feel what Kisame could do to her. She focused on the fingers poking just under the band of her panties. “Please, touch me Kisame. I need you to touch me.”

“Well, since you asked so nicely,” he smirked and returned to her breast. His tongue flicked over the nipple but he kept his eyes on her face. He wanted to see her face during this.

Kisame’s fingers continued forward and Sakura’s heart lurched into her throat. Even being this drunk her mind had the wherewithal to get nervous. Her stomach flipped again but she kept her eyes looking down at his.

His fingers brushed over the bare skin underneath the fabric and traveled lightly over her slit. That alone made Sakura grip the sheets with one fist and entwine the fingers of the other in Kisame’s hair. Her stomach flipped again and she felt like it had jumped into her throat. She swallowed and shifted her legs to give him better access. His finger continued teasing her slit and Kisame smirked at the wetness he found there.

He was sure he could push his finger in and come out covered in her. He tested this by pushing the tip of his middle finger just past her outer lips. It was covered instantly.

Sakura continued to squirm underneath him. She tried to push her hips up against him but his weight kept her in place. Kisame pressed himself against her make sure she stayed put – she’d get what she wanted if she was patient.

The feeling of him pressing against her would have been fine if her stomach hadn’t suddenly reacted to it. That feeling of her stomach lurching into her throat came again and Sakura snapped her eyes open. She tried to swallow again but the feeling was not going away.

“Kisame.” Sakura said in a startling even voice.

He looked up and when he saw the sickly look on her face Kisame pulled himself up and put his hands on either side of her to hold himself up. “What’s wrong?”

Sakura blinked slowly and finally closed her eyes to try and fight the nauseous feeling. Her hand over her mouth was a clear message to Kisame what was going on. He moved to get off of her but was not quick enough. Sakura snapped her eyes open, sat up, crashed her head against his, scrambled around him, and ran into the bathroom just in time to release her dinner into the toilet. Kisame was right behind her, holding her hair back and rubbing comforting circles on her back while trying not to laugh.

When done Sakura rested her head on the seat and slapped a hand to her face. “Good fucking going, Sakura,” she groaned. “Fucking cockblocked yourself.” Kisame was about to say something but Sakura sat up straight again and grabbed the sides of the toilet. “Lord, please, not again.”

Kisame couldn’t keep the chuckle to himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If I don't update within, let's say, two months, you guys are free to come pester me either on here or on my tumblr. I go by the same name on there. And I say two months because this month is full of 21st birthdays among myself and my friends. So... There's that. lawl.
> 
> Things should be getting steamier now, I do reckon. Lemme know what sorta stuff you all want to see happen. Honestly it could give me inspiration for chapters. Back in my golden days that's how I got a lot of ideas for chapters - from reviewers. Just like you!
> 
> I mean I still have a general story line written out, but "filler" has to happen, right? Right.
> 
> I hope to see you all before Mother's Day. Bye!


	12. Chapter 12

Sakura is dying. She must be. Trying to move causes her head to explode in pain. Her eyes are closed and already it’s too bright in here. There’s someone in the kitchen closing the fridge and that’s too loud. Groaning, Sakura tries to push herself up and crack an eye open.

The first thing she noticed is that she is not in her own room. It took much longer than she’s willing to admit for Sakura to realize she was in Kisame and Itachi’s room. Why was she in their room? Did she fall asleep studying?

If that was the case then this migraine wouldn’t be pounding away behind her eyes. She put a hand up to her head and shut her eyes to block out the light.

“What the hell happened last night?” She could remember going to the club with Ino and meeting up with the guys. Then the drinks came. And she went dancing… Eventually her and Kisame were at their table drinking and then they… Came back here…

Sakura gasped and covered her mouth. A blush spread across her face as she remembered what happened when they got home. Suddenly she was very aware of the fact that she was only wearing a night shirt of hers and her panties.

“What the hell happened last night?” She asked again to the empty room.

“You passed out,” The empty room replied.

“What the – “ Sakura snapped her head up to see Kisame standing in the doorway. He looked like he was trying to hide a smile. “I what?”

Kisame came in and shut the door behind him as quietly as possible. “You passed out. Not before puking your guts out, though.”

Sakura slapped a hand to her forehead. “Oh. So that’s why I feel like death.”

“Here,” Kisame handed her a glass of water and a pill of some sort.

Sakura eyed it. “What is it?”

“Sakura I’m not going to roofie you the day after,” Kisame laughed. “It’s a special medicine. It should have you feeling more like yourself in a bit.”

Sakura shrugged and took the pill. She also downed half the glass of water. Her dry throat didn’t make itself known until the water hit her lips. She put the cup on the nightstand and began to massage her temples. “Where is everyone else?”

Kisame nodded to the door. “Here.”

Sakura sighed. “Shoot.”

“What?”

She let out a small laugh. “I was hoping to walk to my room without them all seeing my ass.” Shaking her head, Sakura threw the covers off of her and swung her legs over the side of the bed. “You found the tops of my PJs, but not my pants?”

Kisame smirked. “Sure.”

Sakura glared over at him and hit him playfully. “You jerk. Jokes on you, though.”

“What do you mean?”

Sakura got up and headed to the door, making sure her shirt was hiked up just enough to show her ass. “Once they get a load of this, I’ll be a very busy girl.”

Kisame laughed. “Worth it.”

Sakura rolled her eyes and opened the door. Her hangover left more of a terrible migraine than anything else. She figured eating would be the best thing to do right now. And in her current state she didn’t give many fucks about her nudity.

At this rate they were all at least going to see her ass, right?

Besides. Teasing them just a bit sounded like a fantastic idea.

On her way to the kitchen she passed by the couch and Deidara held out his hand for a fly-by high-five. It was a good one. Good contact. Loud, solid sound. Today would be a good day.

When she sat down at the table to eat Hidan slid into the seat next to her. His shoulder brushed up against hers and when Sakura looked up she saw the smug expression on his face.

“What?” She asked through a mouthful of toast.

“Well?”

“Well. What?”

He nudged her. “How was it?”

Sakura hid her mischievous smile by taking another bite of toast. “How was what?”

Hidan rolled his eyes. “Come on, shark boy won’t tell us anything.”

“If I said nothing, what makes you think Lavagirl is going to?” Kisame called from his room.

Sakura’s eyebrow twitched up for a fraction of a second. So Kisame hadn’t mentioned anything? She supposed that was a good thing. The others didn’t need to know about what she was sure was a fantastically terrible end to a rather amazing night. And this gave Sakura the chance to really fuck with Hidan. He deserved it after all the shit he’s pulled, after all.

“Well,” Sakura set down her toast crusts. “If you really want to know…” She folded her hands in front of her, looking over at Hidan. “You’ll just have to come see for yourself.” She took a second to take in his expression and then collected her dishes and walked to the kitchen, making sure to sway her hips just a bit more. She was so happy in this moment that Kisame had forgone pants for her.

Hidan remained silent but smirked after her, unashamedly staring at her rear. He’d be sure to take her up on that.

Once in her room Sakura saw all of her things from the previous night on her bed. She wondered if Kisame or one of the others picked all of that up. Either way she shrugged and sat down at her computer desk and flipped on her laptop. The second she was on Ino was calling her via video chat.

Sakura clicked accept and was met with Ino squealing with glee, “My Sakura is all grown up!! She’s going home with men from clubs and everything! You have to tell me everything that happened!”

The next ten minutes consisted of Sakura typing out what actually happened while vocally retelling something she was sure she saw in a porno. When Sakura sent the message wrapping up her night with Kisame, Ino couldn’t stop laughing. Lucky for Sakura she used headphones so if she kept the volume low enough the boys wouldn’t hear it.

“Oh my god, Sakura. I am so sorry but that is the best. I’m sad though! I want to know what would have happened if you hadn’t spewed.”

Sakura smirked. “I think I know what would have happened.”

Ino gasped. “Really?!”

Sakura laughed and shrugged. “No, I have no idea. But, hey, I’m sorry I left you there last night. Were you alright?”

Ino nodded. “Of course! I found some girls I chatted with for a while. Then Itachi came over asking if I’d seen you. I checked my phone to see if you texted, which you didn’t.” Ino gave a pointed look. “But then I asked if he knew where Kisame was. He said no, and I told him obviously y’all were off fucking somewhere.”

“When did you all leave the club?”

“Not too long after you did. The boys stayed a lot longer than me, though. I felt bad leaving Sai alone so when I realized you were with one of yours, I went to go be with mine.”

Sakura nodded. “Good, I’m glad you had a good night, too.”

Ino smirked. “What was it like, though?”

“What was what like? Ino you’ve done everything I did.”

“I’ve never been with a vampire, though,” Ino said.

Sakura blinked back her surprised. “Wait really? I thought that guy in eleventh grade…”

Ino shook her head. “Nope.”

“Huh, well,” Sakura thought about it and then turned to her keyboard and typed out, “Don’t want the boys to hear this: what Kisame and I did wasn’t very far off from normal making out. But. Ino. The fangs make a difference.”

“What kind of difference?” Ino asked.

“Well,” Sakura continued vocally. “First of all, neck kisses?” She bit her lip and closed her eyes. “Fucking nice. And then when he’s like, licking your nipples and shit?”

Ino put the back of her hand to her forehead in mock fainting. “Oh sweet lord.”

Sakura nodded. “Yeah, it’s hot.”

“What about oral?”

Sakura glanced back towards the door. “Haven’t had the chance to experience that yet. I’m sure my first time will be fucking great, though.”

“Wait. Do you mean you’ve never had it done period? Or just with them?” Ino asked.

At this Sakura blushed. “Uhm…”

“You’ve never been eaten out?!” Ino yelled into her mic.

“Shhh!” Sakura waved her hands around and turned to her door. She lowered her voice. “If they hear that then I’m never going to sleep tonight! I already screwed with Hidan earlier.”

“Honey, it’s spring break.” Ino continued to say loudly. “You don’t need no stupid sleep and, you need your pussy ate!”

Sakura slapped a hand to her forehead. “Ino, go get yours. Or go suck a dick. One of those. You’re going to get me jumped, I swear.”

“You want it,” Ino said, quieter.

Sakura sat up straight and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Ino laughed. “Honey, I can see right through you. I have known your pink butt for over a decade. You want nothing more than for one of those boys to come into your room, slam you on that bed, and – “

“THANK YOU INO,” Sakura shouted and ended the call. Ino simply sent a happy face, a heart, and logged off.

Sakura sunk down into her chair. Thank goodness for whatever Kisame gave her. The headache was nearly gone, but this conversation would have been much worse with a migraine.

She wouldn’t lie to herself, however. Ino was totally right. But she had some studying she should get to. She may as well spend one day of her vacation being a nerd. For the first time that day Sakura looked at a clock and saw that it was four in the afternoon.

Sakura jumped up from her chair, screaming and ran to throw open her door. “Why did none of you wake up me up earlier?!”

“What are you talking about?” Sasori asked.

Sakura pointed back at her laptop clock. “It’s four P.M!! I had to of woken up at like three-thirty!”

“We figured you needed the sleep,” Sasori replied.

“Especially after last night,” Deidara added with a wink.

Sakura let out another yell and ran forward to pummel the lot of them.

* * *

In hindsight, two weeks of spring break did leave her a lot of time to right her sleep schedule. Then again, she didn’t really need to start for a while. Right?

The next few nights Sakura stayed up until the cows came home. Sunrise was a good natural way for the world to say, “Go to bed you idiot.” Until then, she stayed up and screwed around with whoever wanted to do shit.

There was many a Netflix and chill marathon that week. They finished and caught up on quite a few series, which Sakura was happy about. She could now talk to them about her favorites - but they could now also argue over  _ everything _ in the series.

In the middle of one heated debate over the houses in Game of Thrones, Sakura wrangled away the least heated person so she could be taken to get food. Deidara happily obliged and the two of them went off to get Taco Bell. They tried to get the other’s attention to see if they wanted anything, but to no avail.

“So sad, too bad for them,” Sakura said as she got into the car.

“Yup,” Deidara agreed and started it up.

“Praise 24 hour drive thrus.” Sakura said when the restaurant came into view. “How did you all live before this stuff?”

Deidara gave her a funny look. “Uh, the world is kind of a 24 hour drive-thru for us.”

“Oh yeah,” Sakura tapped a finger to her chin. “Slipped my mind.”

“Did you break into the old green-colored liquor?”

Sakura pursed her lips. “Anyways, I want a smothered burrito and some nachos.”

Deidara laughed and shook his head. “You can at least hold off for another week.”

Sakura raised an eyebrow. “A week?”

“Yeah. Get even more hammered than at Kisame’s birthday.” He laughed again. “Usually your first time going that hard should be your own birthday, yeah?”

Sakura crossed her arms and smiled. “Ino tell you?”

“She reminded us, yeah. Said she’d skin us all if we didn’t do something nice for you,” Deidara replied and pulled up to the speaker to order. When he was done they pulled up behind a few cars and waited.

“So, what are you guys gonna do?” Sakura asked. “I mean. I figure you have some kind of plan if you haven’t asked me.”

“It’s a secret,” Deidara said.

“Is it a surprise party?” Sakura asked.

He shook his head. “Nah, nothing like that. It’ll be a surprise, but not a surprise party.”

Sakura whined. “Now I want to know! Did Ino give you ideas?”

Deidara shrugged and grinned.

She paused and thought about what Ino may tell them. “Hmm… She’d either tell you something actually sweet and insightful…”

“Or?” Deidara asked as they pulled up to the window to pay.

“Or she just told you guys I need some dick,” Sakura laughed.

Deidara’s expression didn’t change from the mischievous grin.

Sakura pointed at him. “It was dick wasn’t it!”

He looked out of the side of his eye at her while pulling up to the second window to get their food. “Maybe a little of both.” He took the bags from the woman in the window, thanking her and then handing them to Sakura.

She took them. “What did she say?”

Deidara kept quiet as he drove forward and then out – in the opposite direction of home.

“Uh, Deidara?”

“Hm?”

“Home’s the other way.”

“We aren’t going back with all this food, hm. The guys will just whine and try to steal it.”

Sakura nodded in agreement. In only a few minutes they were in an abandoned parking lot. Sakura started taking out what was his and handed Deidara his food.

“So. What did Ino say?”

“Uh-uh,” Deidara shook his head. “I’m not giving away the surprise.”

Sakura grumbled and opened her food up. “Just tell me what she told you guys, please?”

“Like you said,” Deidara took a bite of his taco. “You need some dick.”

“Yes, but what exactly did she say? Like… How did she say it?”

Deidara chuckled. “Why are you so curious? She just said you wanted more than you were telling us.”

Sakura rolled her eyes. “Ugh, Ino, I swear…”

“But, personally, I didn’t think she had much say in it,” Deidara said.

“What do you mean?” Sakura asked and took a bite of her burrito.

“Well,” Deidara munched on his taco while thinking of the right phrasing. “Even if that was true, I’d want to hear it from you. I mean, can you imagine how bad it would be if all of a sudden I’m trying to, say, go down on you and you start to freak out? Talk about a mood killer, hm,” he finished his statement with a laugh.

“Is that why none of you have really touched me since the party?” Sakura asked.

Deidara leaned back against the seat. “For me, I was fine waiting for you to come to me. The others, at least most of them, are also worried of scaring you off.” He took another bite. “See… We’ve been alive for a while. A really long while. We’re used to almost everything that comes with being with someone. It’s not strange or uncomfortable for any of us, so we aren’t totally sure what’s going too far for you.”

Sakura let out a soft laugh. “Trust me, if you guys were doing stuff I didn’t want, you’d know.”

“But it’s like I said. Most of us don’t want to try going another step and scaring you, hm.”

“Most?”

Deidara waved his hand in front of his face. “Hidan’s a special case.”

Sakura laughed again. “How about I make this conversation easier?” Deidara looked up and cocked an eyebrow. Sakura put a hand on his shoulder. “Just do shit. If I don’t like it, I’ll say so. But…” She bit her lip, thinking. Making sure she wanted to say her next statement. “But, I don’t think I’ll be saying no anytime soon.”

Deidara smirked and nodded down at her lap. “Eat your burrito.”

Sakura sat back in her seat and mumbled, “I’ll eat your burrito.”

“Heard that.”

“Good.”

Deidara lowered his taco and chuckled. “I could make the same joke, ya know.”

Sakura looked at Deidara’s hand and laughed out loud. “We got the perfect midnight snack.”

“Midnight?” Deidara pointed at the clock. “It’s almost sunrise.”

Sakura put a hand to her mouth and gasped over dramatically. “Quick! We have to get you home! Your precious vampire skin can’t be touched by the –“

Deidara cut her off by pulling her forward into a hard kiss.

When they pulled apart Sakura couldn’t help giggling. “You almost knocked my food over, you ass.”

“What a tragedy,” Deidara replied.

Without the conversation, they were able to finish up their food in less than fifteen minutes. The garbage was all packed into the bag and carelessly thrown into the back seat.

“Come on,” Sakura reached behind her to grab the bag. “Don’t use your car as a garbage can.”

Deidara breathed out a laugh. “Why do you care if there’s garbage in my car?”

“Well, what if you have a lady caller?”

“Lady caller?”

“Yeah! She’d never let you get your rocks off if it’s in a dirty car.”

“She wouldn’t?”

Sakura shook her head. “No, she wouldn’t.”

Deidara looked at the backseat. “Well, thanks to you it’s nice and clean now.”

Sakura smiled. “And you won’t have a problem getting a girl back there now.”

Deidara stared at Sakura for a second before getting up and climbing over the seats to make his way to the back.

“What are you doing?” Sakura asked.

Deidara leaned back against the seat and motioned for her. “C’mon.  You can’t keep dropping hints.”

Sakura was going to reply. She was going to protest. Really. But that smirk was too cute to pass up. She followed his path and clambered into the back seat unceremoniously. Deidara helped maneuver her so she was straddling his lap. She leaned forward and pressed her lips to his while running her fingers up and through his hair. Immediately a moan rumbled in her throat. When was the last time she’d kissed Deidara like this? The last time they’d been anywhere near intimate was at the club. And he’d simply teased her.

Deidara wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her close to him. His other hand ran up her leg to where her short shorts ended. He squeezed her thigh while she sucked on his tongue. That earned her a low rumble in Deidara’s chest. She did it again and the arm around her waist pulled her forward and down onto him.

Sakura rocked her hips just so slightly over his and was greeted with a louder moan from the blond. She smirked and did it again while nipping at his lip. Her hands ran down his neck to his back and then forward to his chest. They continued down until Sakura could slip them under the hem of his shirt. The cold still a stark contrast to her own heated body.

When she pulled back to breathe Sakura let her head roll to the side, giving Deidara easy access to her neck. He took full advantage and began to nip and suck at the exposed skin.

“Mmm,” Sakura moaned when he kissed a certain area.

The hand on Sakura’s thigh moved up underneath her shirt and up to her chest. Deidara smirked when he found there was nothing underneath the article of clothing.

Sakura felt the exhale of a laugh against her neck. “I didn’t think a bra was needed to get tacos.”

Deidara didn’t reply. His fingers found what they were looking for and rolled the hardened bud between them. The reaction was instant – Sakura’s hips rolled harder against his own and she put a hand on the headrest of the front seat for support.

Deidara leaned back and used both his hands to push up her shirt. Sakura let her arms extend above her and Deidara happily took the invitation to remove the clothing. Once off, Deidara allowed himself a good amount of time to just stare.

While fine with the way things were going, Sakura still found herself slightly embarrassed. She blushed and moved an arm to cover one side of her chest. When Deidara gave her a confused look she laughed.

“It’s fine, it’s just that… Heh, when you’re drunk and the lights are out, it’s easier to not be embarrassed,” she said.

Deidara reached up with one hand to circle a thumb around her right nipple. “You know they say alcohol dulls senses during sex.”

Sakura laughed. “Okay, and?”

Deidara shrugged. “Just saying. Since you’re a lot more sober, this might feel a lot better.” Sakura didn’t get the chance to reply. Deidara wrapped one arm around her to hold her steady and then leaned forward to kiss between her breasts. Sakura placed a hand behind his head and tangled her fingers into the hair that wasn’t in a ponytail.

Deidara trailed light kisses down to where her breast rose from her chest. Teasingly he kissed only the creamy skin surrounding her distended bud. Sakura arched her back forward and ground down onto him again in an attempt to tease him back.

When he felt her move against him, Deidara used the arm around her waist to pull her tight against him. Unable to move, Sakura could only sit and wait for Deidara to make the next move.

She huffed and Deidara looked up at her. “Is something wrong?” His voice held concern, but Sakura knew better.

“You’re teasing me again.”

Deidara’s free hand came up to rub circles around her breast. “I have no idea what you’re talking about, hm.”

Sakura laughed and shook her head. Glancing outside she saw that the sun had started peeking over the horizon. “We should probably get back.”

Deidara followed her gaze. “Yeah, probably.” His hand came up to Sakura’s chin and turned her to face him again. He kissed her slowly on the lips and then gave her a quick peck on the nose. “We can finish this later.”

“Finish? You know how to do that?” Sakura asked as she swung her leg off of him and climbed back into the front seat.

“Sakura,” Deidara climbed into the driver seat. “Don’t test me. We may not get home until noon, hm.”

Sakura looked over at him and flashed a small smile. “I’m sure you’ll have plenty an opportunity to prove that.”

The rest of the day Sakura was forced to stay awake so that she could finally get back to a normal sleeping schedule. When she questioned Sasori about why they were torturing her he replied that she’d find out tomorrow.

“But I’m so tired,” Sakura whined from her spot in the living room. They had her standing up so that she wouldn’t doze off on the couch – she’d already done it twice.

“You’ll be fine,” Hidan said.

Sakura’s eyes drooped and opened over and over as she tried to focus on Hidan. “That’s easy for a vampire to say. Have you guys ever actually been tired like this?”

They all shook their heads.

She raised her middle finger to them. “Then fuck all y’all.”

“Y’all?” Sasori asked.

“I’m too tired to say it all.” She pushed herself up from the wall and headed to the bathroom.

“Where are you going?” Sasori asked.

“I’m not sneaking off to bed,” Sakura called back. “I need a cold shower. It’ll wake me up.”

“I know something else that will wake you up,” Hidan called after her.

“Later,” Sakura called back. “You put me on a bed right now, I’ll fall asleep before you get my pants off.” With that she closed the bathroom door and got into the cold water.

* * *

As it turns out, the following day did not actually require her to get up at a decent time. Itachi had simply thought righting her sleep schedule well before her birthday would have been better than doing it the day before.

“So, why do I need to be up early on my birthday?” Sakura asked.

Itachi ignored her with ease.

“Itachi,” Sakura poked his cheek. “I-ta-chi,” she poked him at each syllable. Still, he remained quiet. “Oh, come on! Just give me a hint.”

“All you have to do is wait two more days and you’ll find out for yourself,” Itachi replied.

“But it’s so far away,” Sakura whined and threw herself over his lap. He’d been reading on his bed so Sakura had plenty of room to spread out.

She splayed herself over his legs and rested her head on his stomach. “I’m not leaving until I at least get a hint.”

“Nope,” Itachi flipped a page.

“’Nope’,” Sakura mimicked. “Since when do you say nope?”

Itachi lowered his book and peered at her over the top of the pages. “You really won’t leave.”

“Nope,” Sakura smirked.

Itachi gave her a measuring look but soon brought his book back up. “You’ll have to eat or do some human thing eventually.”

“I wouldn’t talk so big if I were you,” Sakura said.

“Oh?”

Sakura’s fingers went to the hem of Itachi’s shirt and pushed it up a few centimeters. “I’m in prime raspberry territory right now.”

Book lowered. “Sakura, honestly, you’re an adult and – “ Book flies across the room. “Sakura!”

Too busy blowing air onto Itachi’s stomach to reply, Sakura instead looked up with eyes as innocent as she could muster. She pulled back and smiled. “Come on!” She inched closer to his stomach once more. “If you don’t tell me, I’ll be forced to do it again…”

“Do that again and you won’t be going,” Itachi scolded.

Sakura raised her head. “You’re bluffing.” Itachi remained silent. Sakura then got a wicked idea. She put his shirt back down but instead of sitting up she pushed herself further down his body. “Perhaps you’d prefer a different area?”

Itachi willed himself to not roll his eyes. “Sakura, you wouldn’t do that simply for a hint about your birthday.”

“You obviously don’t know how much I like to know things.”

Again, silence.

Sakura pulled herself up so that she was face to face with Itachi. “But I want to know!”

Itachi sighed. “Water.”

Sakura blinked once. Twice. “Water?”

“That’s your clue.”

Sakura smiled and kissed him. “Thank you! Is it a beach? Water park? Water gun fight?”

“Ah-ah. Only one clue.” Itachi said.

Sakura conceded. “Fine.” Rolling onto her side, she laid down next to him on the bed. She picked up the forgotten book on the bed and handed it to him. “Here ya go.”

Itachi took it and nodded down to her. “Thank you.”

She spent the next hour or so lying on the bed with him. Her hand placed oh so perfectly at the hem of his pants. If Itachi noticed this, he said nothing.

* * *

On the morning of Sakura’s birthday she woke up to a body dive bombing into her bed.

“Time to wake up, Sakura!” Tobi’s voice came from above her.

Sakura groaned and pulled the covers up over her face. She had no idea what time it was, but it felt early. Damn the lot of them for not having to sleep.

“Tobi,” Sakura grumbled, “Why?”

“It’s time to wake up!!” Tobi bounced off of her bed and pulled her covers off.

Sakura curled into herself and glared up at him. “What if I’d been naked?”

“But you weren’t,” Tobi replied, smiling. “Come on, you have to get ready. We’re leaving in half an hour.”

Sakura sat up. “Only half an hour? How long are we going to be there?”

“Two nights. We’re leaving the morning of the third day.”

Sakura looked up at him. “You all didn’t even let me pack before now. How am I supposed to pack for three days and get ready in half an hour?”

“We packed for you. Your stuffs in your room,” Tobi said.

“Oh,” Sakura stretched. “Thank you for that. I’ll go ahead and get ready.”

Before Sakura could stand up Hidan barged in through the door.

“What the hell, Tobi? I was gonna wake her up!” Hidan bellowed.

“If you’d gotten her, she’d never be ready in time,” Tobi said before scurrying out of the room.

“He’s totally right,” Sakura said and walked past Hidan to the bathroom. “We’d be in that bed an hour before you let me get up.”

Hidan smirked after her. “Never heard you complain.”

Sakura paused in the doorway and looked back at him. “Well, will we have any sort of free time where we’re going?”

“Yeah, it’s kinda the point of the place.” Hidan said.

Sakura smirked. “Well, we have almost seventy-two hours ahead of us. Pick one of them.”

Hidan returned her smirk but said nothing as she closed the door behind her and began to get ready. In half an hour she was ready and they were heading out in two cars. Sakura sat in the backseat and let herself continue to sleep after hearing it’d be about two hours before they got to their destination. She unbuckled herself and laid down across the seat, resting her head on Sasori’s lap.

After what felt like twenty minutes Sakura was being woken up. She sat up in her seat and stretched her arms up above her head, bending her elbows so her hands didn’t whack the roof. “Where are we?”

“Look outside, maybe?” Deidara said while getting out of the driver’s seat.

Sakura stuck her tongue out at him but looked out the windshield to see what looked like tropical vegetation and a sign reading, “Sandstone Springs.” Her eyebrows shot up and Sakura broke into a huge grin. “A hot spring?”

“Yeah,” Sasori said. “Ino mentioned you’d always wanted to go to one.”

Sakura let out a squee and leaned over to hug Sasori. “Remind me to thank her.”

Sasori let out a chuckle and hugged her back. “Will do.”

When all of the luggage was extracted from the cars and all the boys got hugs the party went inside and got their room keys. Just like back at the house they were split into three rooms. Sakura decided to dump her stuff in whatever room was closest - they were spread throughout the entire resort. 

“Let the birthday celebration begin,” Sakura said to herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last little chunk there was totally rushed, I am so sorry. I finally got my computer back in working order after it decided to be all upset at me. (It's okay, computer, I love you still.)
> 
> I don't wanna be "that author" but guys if you suggest stuff that you wanna see, it'll really help me get chapters out faster! That way I'm not just like trying to think of stuff for Sakura and a guy (or two?) to do by myself, ya know? There's only so many things that one can think of alone. And please, safe for work, and not safe for work ideas are all happily welcomed!! And if you for some reason don't wanna comment with a suggestion, message me! I promise as long as it's not, like, someone having sex with an eye socket I will probably put it in.
> 
> With that said, lemme know what you guys think! I love to hear your input!


	13. Chapter 13

After what happened at Kisame’s party Sakura made sure to go easy on the drinking the night of her birthday. In hindsight, she didn’t mind the thought that she may have gotten laid. No, that wasn’t it. If she happened to have birthday sex tonight Sakura would fall asleep and wake up a happy woman.

The thing that worried her where drinking was concerned was not wanting to ruin another steamy night by being a lightweight. Kisame may have been nice about the situation but Sakura can only imagine the embarrassment that would ensue if the same incident occurred with someone like Hidan.

Another reason to party light tonight was Sakura wanted to enjoy her day tomorrow. Sure Kisame had that fancy pill she could take, but she wanted to wake up somewhat coherent and not wanting to die.

With these thoughts in mind, she was glad that while opening presents no one handed her any liquids. Well that and she got some seriously amazing gifts this year.

While she ate from over overfilled plate – the package they’d gotten came with unlimited food and drink – she gazed at the small pile of presents next to her. They’d gotten her a good variety of things from a card game called, “Superfight”, to extra herbs and new spellbooks, to fucking  _ jewelry _ (which Sakura of course just had to say was too much but later tonight will totally put on and feel fancy as fuck).

She was pulled from her thoughts when Kisame sat down next to her. “Glad to see you’re taking advantage of the all you can eat,” he leaned over and stole some dumplings from her plate.

Sakura swatted at him but didn’t manage to rescue her precious dumplings. “Well of course I am. Who wouldn’t?”

Kisame passed her a drink. “Here, it’s your birthday night and you’re barely buzzed.”

Sakura eyed the drink and then glanced up at Kisame. A slight blush dusted her cheeks. “I, uh, was sorta going easy on the alcohol tonight. Because… Well, you know...”

Kisame barked a laugh and put the drink down next to Sakura’s plate. “You’ll be fine this time. Just don’t drink as much.”

“Easy for you to say,” Sakura downed the drink anyways. “You’re not the one being handed drinks every five minutes.

“We just want you to enjoy yourself.” Kisame popped a dumpling in his mouth.

“No,” Sakura took another bite. “ _ You _ want me to enjoy myself.  _ They _ ,” Sakura gestured around the room, “Are watching me like a hawk, waiting to swoop in and recreate your birthday night.”

Kisame opened his mouth to protest but found he couldn’t. “I won’t lie, they’re curious.”

“What did you end up telling them anyways?” Sakura asked.

“Nothing,” Kisame shrugged. “If they want to know what goes on between you and I, they’re gonna have to join in.” He ended the sentence with a smirk.

Sakura couldn’t help the renewed blush. She reached for the nearest shot and slammed it back. “How about we focus on getting me all the way with someone before we go two on one?”

“That can be arranged,” Sasori’s voice whispered into her ear from Sakura’s other side.

“Holy fuck!” Sakura jumped and pressed a hand to her chest. She took a deep breath and glared at Sasori. “Don’t sneak up on me like that! You’ll end up needing to fuck a corpse. Shit, man.”

Sasori laughed at her and settled back into his seat next to her. “I may be into some things, but necrophilia doesn’t make that list.”

Sakura chewed on her cheek, wondering if she should take the obvious bait. Not two seconds passed before she opened her mouth. “And what things do make that list?”

Sasori shot her a devilish smile before getting up to walk away. “It’s better to show than tell.”

Sakura shook her head. “You’re terrible,” she called after him. Despite her words, Sakura was curious. Normally Sasori was so cool and calm. What the hell sort of shit would he bit into? Sakura tried to come up with something but found her sexual knowledge ended at pretty vanilla acts.

Sure she could think of the “edgier” things like bondage, but what else was there? You tie a girl down or vice versa, but what else? Sakura looked over at Sasori finding that she  _ really _ wanted to know what else there was.

“Wha’cha thinkin about?” Hidan’s voice appeared to Sakura’s right. She turned to see that Hidan had taken Kisame’s seat and was smirking down at her.

Sakura narrowed her eyes at him. “What’s with that look?”

Hidan nodded his head in Sasori’s direction. “Picking your next victim?” Her silence was his answer. Hidan laughed. “Get that experience in now, because when my day finally comes, you’re in for it.”

“Your day?” Sakura tilted her head.

“My birthday? Duh,” Hidan said.

Sakura’s eyes widened and she broke out into a smile. “When is it?”

“April second,” Hidan told her.

Sakura’s eyes grew bigger. “Th-That’s in five days!”

Hidan smirked. “Yup.”

Sakura thwacked him over the head. “How the hell am I supposed to plan for a birthday in five days, you dumbass?!”

Hidan let out a roar of laughter as he rubbed his head. “You ain’t gotta plan for shit. I already told you what I want to do.”

Sakura blinked at him and then made the connection in her head. It was her turn to smirk. “I would have thought you’d want to be the first.” She took a sip of a drink.

His grin faltered and he shrugged. “First or not, it doesn’t matter. In the end you’ll be coming the hardest with me.”

Sakura coughed and choked on the liquid in her throat. “HI-HIDAN!”

Once again Hidan laughed, but this time he got up and walked off, giving a small wave to her. “See ya around.”

Sakura glared after him and stuck her tongue out. Teasing her or not, she knew there was truth behind those words. The room had suddenly become very hot.

“Shit,” Sakura leaned back and shook her head. Even though this place was supposed to be relaxing, Sakura found she was more wound up than ever. She couldn’t get her mind off of what Hidan and Sasori had said, so she got up and headed to the door.

Itachi called after her, “Where are you off to?”

“Hot spring,” Sakura turned her head and called back, still walking. “I wanna try it out before I get too tired.” She didn’t wait for a response and left, making her way to her room to grab some things.

The guys had actually reserved a private spring for the group. Sakura had gone to take a look earlier and it wasn’t huge, but it was a nice size. It also had only one spring with no dividers. Sakura knew it was better to go in the nude but at the moment she didn’t feel like having any of the guys walk in on her like that. No, right now she wanted to actually relax.

She grabbed her swimsuit from her room, changed, and went to the spring. After a quick rinse she let herself sink under the warm water until her lips were submerged. Sakura let out a sigh through her nose and felt her muscles start to relax. The warmth was satisfying; Sakura didn’t realize just how much she needed this.

As fun as it was to be surrounded by the boys, Sakura was still immensely stressed out. Most of that came from her classes, actually. The better part of her days was spent either going to class, studying, or working on some project. While it was true that Sakura almost thrived off of this stress, that didn’t mean she didn’t need a break every now and then. This was one reasons she loved having the guys around.

Lately if the guys hadn’t seen her leave her room for a few days at a time one of them – usually Hidan or Deidara – would intercept Sakura on her way to get food. They’d learned that barging in randomly was not likely to get a positive response, but if Sakura exited her room it meant she was done with a current section of studying. These interceptions had the highest probability of positive response. But even then she wouldn’t stay for long.

Sakura had come to this college for a reason, after all. Sure she had a harem of drop dead gorgeous vampire men wanting to lavish her in attention, but becoming a skillful medic and healer is still number one on her list of things to do.

A vampire just happens to be number two.

Sakura stared out at the water and watched the moon’s reflection ripple as she made waves with her hands. Another sigh escaped her lips.

School hadn’t been the only thing on her mind these past two weeks. She thought about her conversation with Deidara quite a few times; about how the guys weren’t making the first moves because they were afraid of scaring her off. Sure Sakura had told  _ Deidara _ that the lot of them could do whatever and she’d just let them know it was too much, but the rest of the guys obviously didn’t know this.

For the most part after Kisame’s party, Sakura had been cooped up in her bedroom studying so any time she spent with her roommates ended up being watching TV or what have you. It was fun and honestly Sakura couldn’t have asked for a better spring break, but…

Sakura honestly wished the guys would just come at her because while Sakura knew she was mentally ready to participate in the fun, she knew she didn’t have the confidence to initiate it.

Sure she could go back in there, walk up to  _ any _ of them and say, “Fuck me,” and they’d happily run off to her bedroom and go at it till morning. But, at least for her first time, she’d prefer to go with the flow.

If one of the guys walked through that door, butt naked, and started kissing her Sakura knew she’d be fine letting him go about as far as he’d want – she was sure that despite her preparedness, anyone of them that would want sex would have been smart enough to bring a damn condom. Hidan included.

Sakura looked up at the twinkling stars. Of all places to get freaky, this was certainly a classy one. The only sounds came from a small fountain on the other side of the pool and various animals. The hot spring itself was far enough from the city that there were no sounds of cars and you could actually see the night sky.

It was beautiful.

All her life Sakura had lived in either large cities are good sized towns. Being out this far, she was finally able to get a good look at a natural night sky. It was like pictures she’d seen during random Googling sessions, but it was also completely different. The colors were richer and mixed together in a beautiful way. The light from the moon was the only bright source besides a sconce next to the door heading inside.

No wonder these places were so relaxing.

Sakura turned to reach for her phone to take a picture but froze before her hand made it halfway to the device. His face lit up by the light, Sasori was standing in the doorway wearing nothing but a small towel and an oh-so innocent smile.

Sakura swallowed and grabbed her phone, then turned back and unlocked it so she could snap a few pictures.

Without a word Sasori walked forward and lowered himself into the spring, towel discarded next to where Sakura’s phone had been. Trying to keep her composure, Sakura focused on pointing the camera at just the perfect spot and playing with the lighting settings until she was able to snap a half dozen good pictures. Once done, Sakura continued to distract herself by posting the best one to any and all social media she could think of. When she opened the third app Sasori scoffed.

Sakura glanced to the side at his face, taking in his expression. He was looking down at her phone and had an expression of annoyance. Sakura rolled her eyes.

“You old people really need to get with times. Or at least deal with the fact that the youngins use these here interwebs,” Sakura said while applying a filter to the picture that would bring out more of the blue hues.

“It seems like such a waste of time,” Sasori replied. “Why take the time to post a picture of the sky to every single outlet you know of? Everyone knows what the sky looks like.”

“Because, grandpa,” Sakura clicked the post button and turned her head to fully look at him, “I want to share my experiences with friends that aren’t here with me. Also, not all of us are as old as you. I know most of my witch and werewolf friends have never seen the sky like this. We were never alive when electricity wasn’t a thing.”

Sasori kept her gaze. “But can’t your friends use the same internet to simply look up a picture of the same subject matter?”

Sakura pursed her lips and set her phone down. “Well… Yeah… But posting it also gives you a bit of bragging rights. It’s half to share the experience and sorta half to say, ‘Hey look at what I got to see!’ You know?”

“Hmm,” Sasori put his arms up on the rim of the pool and leaned back. “I suppose that makes sense.” He paused and looked forward. “Still stupid, though.”

Sakura sighed and leaned back as well. “Can’t teach an old dog new tricks, I guess.”

They both sat in silence for a few moments, enjoying the sounds of the night. Forgetting his current state, Sakura even scooted closer to lean against the vampire. For once she didn’t have to be engulfed in a cloak of ice when touching him. It was pleasant until he spoke.

“You know, normally people don’t wear bathing suits in the springs.”

Sakura tensed and couldn’t stop a quick glance down at the water – one that Sasori thankfully wouldn’t have been able to see. The steam fogged her vision but she could make out vague shapes. Sakura tore her eyes away and stared straight ahead.

“Well how would you have chosen to dress if you’d thought someone like Hidan would waltz in at any moment?” Sakura asked.

Sasori contemplated that thought. “I suppose you’re right. But I know for a fact he won’t be coming by any time soon.”

“How would you know that?”

“Him, Tobi, and Kisame are having a drinking contest. Tobi’s gonna go out in the first round for sure, but Hidan will be busy there for a while.” Sasori chuckled. “Even if he manages not to pass out, he’d never make it all the way over here.”

Sakura laughed at the idea and shook her head. “What about the other two? I’d love to see Itachi play a drinking game.”

“They’re the judges.”

“You can judge a drinking game?”

“Well, they aren’t so much going to judge as they’re responsible for keeping the room tidy and making sure the three idiots get to  _ their _ rooms.”

Sakura nodded slowly. “Mm, yeah that makes sense. Hidan would just love the excuse to get into my bed.”

“Wouldn’t we all,” Sasori said while his fingers played with the tie of Sakura’s bathing suit behind her neck.

“Mm, that is sort of the point of this arrangement.”

Sakura sucked in a quick breath as she felt extra heat pool on her cheeks and in her abdomen. She lightly smacked his chest. “Stop that, you don’t want me overheating.”

“Ah, right. You do still technically have a human body. How unfortunate, I had even considered continuing our earlier conversation. But, after seeing how flushed you’d gotten then… Perhaps here isn’t the best place,” Sasori said, all the while still tugging at the knot.

“From where you left off, it doesn’t seem like we’d need to speak to continue,” Sakura said.

“True,” Sasori pulled at the knot and Sakura felt him loosen it, but not completely do away with it. “But I don’t think you’re quite ready for that.”

Sakura laughed half in humor and half from nerves, “What, do you like fluffy pink handcuffs or something?”

Sasori had to stop himself from laughing. “Fluffy and pink, no. But handcuffs, yes. Among other things.”

Sakura sat up and looked over at him. “What else even is there?”

“Remind me when we go home and I’ll happily show you,” Sasori said.

With the way he looked at her, Sakura knew he was completely serious even if his tone was still teasing. She let out another nervous laugh. “Like I told Kisame, let’s get me just plain old laid before we start doing weird kinky things.”

“Just say the word,” Sasori said.

Sakura sighed but kept smiling. She leaned back against the wall with her arm brushing his arm. “And like I told Deidara, you guys can actually do things with me. I’m not gonna explode if someone touches my boob. If I don’t like what you guys are doing, I’ll say something.”

“He mentioned something about that one night,” Sasori said. “But I’m not sure if he told anyone else. Truthfully I think we all knew anyways. But with all of your studying I figured you’d like to keep a clear head.”

Sakura nodded slowly, “I appreciate that. But...” She looked up at him. “I’m not going to be doing any studying for the next forty-eight hours. Especially not with all the alcohol you guys have given me.”

“Well it’s your birthday. Drinking is sort of mandatory,” Sasori said.

“Nuh-uh,” Sakura shook her head, “cake and presents are mandatory.”

Sasori rolled his eyes but kept smiling down at her. “Alright, but you still have fun drinking, don’t you?”

Sakura paused and then nodded. “Well, I mean, yeah.”

‘ _ Except that one time you almost vomited on the guy you were about to probably bang,’  _ Sakura thought to herself.

Sasori shrugged. “That’s why they’ve been giving you drinks.”

“Oh so it’s  _ not _ to try and fuck me?” Sakura asked.

Sasori was quiet. After a second he leaned down and brushed his lips against her shoulder, “Maybe a little.”

Sakura shook her head but smiled anyways. “Just a little?”

Sasori only responded with an affirmative hum before he moved forward, leaving feather-light kisses on her skin as his lips came to rest against her neck. He let his fangs graze her skin and in her muddled mental state, Sakura didn’t have the sense to stifle a small moan or keep from craning her neck.

Taking the opportunity, Sasori put a hand on her hip and pulled Sakura over so she was straddling him. With the easier angle Sasori bit and sucked at Sakura’s neck, eliciting low moans from her. One hand stayed on her hip while other kept tugging at the knot.

Without a word Sakura reached up and pulled the knot free, then reached around to undo the knot behind her back. Sasori grabbed the top and threw it to the side before bringing her lips down to his. Sakura let Sasori’s tongue push past her lips and when she sucked on the muscle, he let a moan slip out.

Sasori’s hands ran up and down her back, one hand settling on her rear and the other coming around to knead a breast. Sakura arched her back in a silent plea for more. Being in a generous mood, Sasori brushed a thumb over her nipple and then rolled it between two fingers. On instinct Sakura’s hips pressed down and she gasped when she felt the shape of his erection against her heat.

Pulling back to suck in a proper breath, Sakura panted out, “T-That’s new.”

“Mm?” Sasori didn’t halt his actions and brought his lips back down to her neck.

Sakura shook her head, “I-It’s nothing.”

Knowing this was a lie, Sasori kept his arm around her waist to hold Sakura still as he pressed himself up against her. Another low moan left her lips and Sasori smirked.

Once before Sakura had felt something akin to this, but with Kisame they’d both still had some sort of fabric on. Here, all either of them would have to do is move her bathing suit to the side…

Sakura ground against him, needing something to relieve the pressure building within her. However feeling his hard length against her only made fire hotter. Despite being the smallest stature wise out of her roommates, Sasori didn’t feel lacking in any way beneath Sakura. Going on only feel, he wasn’t nearly as grand as Kisame, but Sakura still found herself wanting to know how Sasori would feel inside of her.

A thought occurred to Sakura and she breathed a chuckle in between the moans. When Sasori hummed inquisitively Sakura asked, “Does public sex make that little list of yours?”

Sasori paused for a split second, surprised, and recovered just as fast. “And if it does?”

“Uh,” Sakura didn’t know why she thought he wouldn’t retaliate with something, but she still found herself taken by surprise. “Well… Unless you’ve got some latex hidden in that towel, I don’t think it’ll really matter.”

Sasori chuckled and tilted his head in a quick nod. “For some things, sure.”

Sakura pulled back and raised an eyebrow. “Some things?”

The hand on Sakura ass skimmed forward along the line of her bathing suit until it was at the hem in front of her. Sasori’s lips quirked into a devilish grin. “Just because I can’t fuck you doesn’t mean I can’t touch you, right?” His fingertips dipped just past the hem of Sakura’s bottoms making her suck in a breath.

‘ _ Oh,’ _ she thought.  _ ‘Hidan’s got his work cut out for him.’ _

The thought made her breathe a quick laugh. Sasori raised an eyebrow and Sakura just started to giggle more and shake her head.

“A-Aha, it’s nothing. Just… Something about what Hidan said earlier.”

Sasori’s silence was an invitation for her to continue. Swallowing hard, Sakura looked just to the right of Sasori’s head so she wasn’t looking him right in the eye, but she also wasn’t totally avoiding his gaze.

“Uh, well, he was just… Just going on about how he’s so confident he’ll be making me come the hardest.” She let out another laugh. “And I was just thinking that so far he’s uh… He’s go this work cut out for him.”

Sasori returned the laugh and smirked. “I agree.”

“That confident in yourself?”

“Well yes, but that’s not what I mean.” Sasori didn’t wait for Sakura to ask him to continue. “It’s always a treat when you think you’re home alone, you know.”

Sakura finally had the sense to blush when the words sank in. “Oh god. Oh no. You… I didn’t… You… heard?”

“I don’t always go on the hunts with them,” Sasori explained. “I’ve been wondering for a while now what sort of faces accompany those cries.”

Sakura almost gave into her knee jerk reaction to blush and look away but decided against it. Instead she pressed down on Sasori and said in a low voice, “Why don’t you find out?”

Sasori ground out a low, “Fuck,” and suddenly Sakura was being lifted out of the water and scenery was flashing by her with wind blowing her hair every which way. When the sensation ended she was in her room, on the futon, with Sasori looming above her. Lust clouded his eyes and his hands slid down to her waistband and tugged down until he was able to toss the bottoms aside. Sakura swallowed again, aware they were now both completely naked.

A quick impulsive glance down Sasori’s form made Sakura shudder and almost wish she had some sort of protection with her.

Sasori didn’t miss the look but kept his thoughts to himself. There were more important matters to attend to. He leaned down to press his lips against hers once again but this time in a much more tender kiss. At the same time his hand reached down between her legs to glide over the slit. Despite the water, Sasori could still tell how wet she was.

Lifting her hips, Sakura pressed against Sasori’s fingers and pulled away from the kiss, huffing a curt sigh. “Sasori, please. I can’t take anymore teasing.”

“Whatever you say,” Sasori said and pulled his head back further to watch Sakura’s face as he pressed a digit into her core.

Even though it was only one slender finger, the feeling of someone other than herself entering her made Sakura moan low and long, grasping at Sasori’s shoulders. Happy with this reaction Sasori started pushing in and out of her at a steady pace, enjoying her expressions.

As good as the feeling was, Sakura craved more. She opened her eyes and looked up at Sasori. “More… please.”

Not missing a beat Sasori pushed a second finger into her and quickened his pace. When Sakura’s moans started to take on a higher pitch he slowed down to almost a stop and slowly pushed in and out of her, curling his fingers at random points.

“Ah… Sasori, please, oohhh… Don’t stop. Keep go –  _ ooohhh... _ ” Sakura was cut off as Sasori pressed against a certain spot inside of her.

“You were saying?” He taunted.

“Do that again,” Sakura ran her fingers through his hair, pulling him down to kiss him.

Sasori ran his tongue over her lips as he curled his fingers against the spot once more. When Sakura bucked her hips he added a third digit and made sure to brush against that same spot each time he’d thrust in and out of her.

The pressure built in her core and Sakura arched her back off of the futon. She moaned into the kiss and let one hand grasp Sasori’s shoulder while the other gripped his hair. It wasn’t long until her lungs were crying for air and Sakura pulled back.

While catching her breath Sasori busied himself with biting at her neck in just the right spots. Feeling his fangs press in against her skin brought the pitch of Sakura’s moans up a few octaves as well as cause her to clench around Sasori’s fingers. He let out his own low, quiet moan that Sakura wasn’t able to catch.

As much as he’d love to satisfy himself and take her right there, Sasori still got the sense that Sakura wasn’t completely ready. She may be fine with this, but he wanted her to be absolutely sure before him or any of them actually went all the way. So, for tonight, he would happily focus on her and give her probably one of the best birthday nights yet.

Sasori trailed his fangs down her neck to her chest, leaving bright red marks weaving down between her breasts. With his hand keeping a steady pace, Sasori moved so he could take a pert nipple between his lips and bite down, then soothe the pain with a lick.

At that, Sakura bucked against his hand and groaned low, moving her hand from his hair to rake her nails down his back. Another moan slipped past Sasori’s lips but this time Sakura caught it – the feeling vibrated against her chest.

When Sasori nipped at the bud again he accompanied the action with his thumb brushing against Sakura’s clit. The reaction was instant; her nails dug into his shoulder blades and she cried out a chorus of yeses and his name.

Sasori ran his thumb over her clit again at the same time he pressed against her sweet spot and he felt her tightening around him. He kept his rhythm up while lightly rubbing against her with his thumb.

It was so much sensation at once but not  _ enough _ .

“Sasori, please, I’m so close,” Sakura panted out.

“Whatever you say,” he mumbled against her skin.

Sasori angled his hand so he hit her just right with each inward thrust. At the same time he pressed his thumb against her and let the motion of his hand provide him with the friction Sakura was craving.

It wasn’t long until Sakura’s breaths were coming quicker and more shallow. Her moans were low cries, Sasori’s name making up half of the words coming from her mouth. When she began to only wantonly moan and cry out Sasori quickened his pace and pulled back to look at her pleasure-contorted face. Her eyes were shut tight, cheeks flushed, and lips parted just enough to take in quick breaths.

She looked beautiful like this and Sasori could only wonder how she’d look with more than just his fingers inside of her. For now he stowed that thought away and resigned himself to taking in the full experience of her coming undone beneath him.

One, two more thrusts of his fingers and Sakura arched off of the futon, lips falling further apart as she called out wordlessly. Sasori took in everything: the way her face worked into such a lovely contortion; how her voice rang in his ears; the way she clenched and tightened around him as she rode out her orgasm.

He couldn’t wait until the next time he was able to see her like this again.

* * *

When Sakura woke up the first thing she noticed was that her head was  _ throbbing _ . The second was that she’d never been thirstier in her entire life. The third thing was probably why she was awake right now: the very obvious voices of Hidan and Tobi were shouting about something just outside her door. She didn’t really give a crap about what they could possibly be talking about, but she did hear Sasori’s name.

After a few seconds the voices faded away down the hall and Sakura willed herself to fall back asleep but alas. Her body was screaming at her to either get some goddamn water right this second, or go pee. Either one would do, but it had to be done right now.

Annoyed, she sat up and cracked an eye open, expecting to see daylight seeping in through her window but from what she could see it was still dark out. Suddenly afraid she slept for nearly twenty-four hours, Sakura scrambled around her futon to try and find her phone. Panic started to set in when she finally flung up the sheets and heard no telltale sound indicating her phone fell from them.

Sakura forced herself to sit and take a deep breath. Granted the migraine, thirst, and urge to pee wasn’t calming, but she knew that the device wasn’t going to be found if she only panicked. So instead she forced herself to relax and retrace her steps.

When was the last time she’d used it?

“I’d used it at the party to send Ino a picture… And then I went to the spring… I took it there… And I took some pictures of the sky when Sasori came in – oh.”

Sakura felt the blush spread over her cheeks remembering where the redhead and herself ended up. The embarrassment surprisingly didn’t last long and Sakura was instead starting to realize just what Hidan and Tobi may have been yelling about. She began to giggle from both the hilarity and the relaxing thought that of course her phone was still back at the spring. Being private and all, she doubted anyone but an employee or her friends would have found it.

With this comforting thought in mind, Sakura finally got up to start remedying the ailments she awoke with. First thing was first: she had to fucking pee.

On the way to the bathroom Sakura was suddenly aware of the fact that she was wearing one of the resorts robes and upon reaching her destination discovered she even had underwear on. The last Sakura could remember, she’d been bare ass naked. Which meant that either she’d managed to dress her drunk self – unlikely – or Sasori had insisted.

She smiled.

Next on the itinerary was definitely water. The migraine could be fixed once her mouth didn’t feel like a desert. While Sakura could easily grab one of the bottles in the fridge in the room, her stomach was also starting to grumble.

Knowing everything was already paid for, Sakura decided to go to the cafeteria and find something to eat. On instinct Sakura glanced up at the actual clock in the room – why didn’t she just look at that earlier – and saw that it was half past three in the morning. The cafeteria would surely still be open even at this time. The resort did accept supernatural beings after all.

Tightening the robe’s tie, she slipped on some shoes, grabbed her room key, and headed out down the hallway.

Sakura thought this resort was gorgeous and definitely a place she didn’t even imagine she’d go to on her birthday. But it had one draw back. Her room was nearly as far from the cafeteria as could be. While this might be nice during the day when Sakura could see the foliage and enjoy the sunshine, right now walking in the dark, hungover, was not ideal. She almost thought about calling out for Tobi or someone just to see if they’d hear her and come running to piggy back her to food. But, not wanting to wake up anyone who actually needed sleep, she decided against that.

The line was actually much longer than Sakura would have thought it would be at nearly four in the morning. She let out a small whine and leaned against the wall. Good thing she’d already peed. Because the universe seemed to hate Sakura in that moment, the line was also full of mostly drunk patrons who were so sloshed that picking between pasta or salad took three times as long.

A girl about five people in front of Sakura finally decided on pasta but then put it back, turning to her friend and asking in a slow drawl, “But what about the carbs? Is butter a carb?”

Sakura pushed her head back against the wall and grit her teeth. If this line didn’t pick up soon she’d just say fuck it and go find Kisame and his magical migraine fix. If she’d known the line would be like this she would have done that first. But, looking back at the people behind her, Sakura knew it was best to just be patient. Still, she could whine to herself about this.

“This is totally  _ not _ how I should be waking up after my birthday,” Sakura grumbled and glared at the floor. She continued muttering to herself when she heard the person behind her in line speak up.

“Happy late birthday,” they said.

Sakura pulled her gaze away from the white tile up to the man who’d just spoken. She cleared her throat, embarrassed that he totally had been able to hear everything she was mumbling, and croaked out a quick, “Thanks.”

“What’s the lucky number?” He asked.

“Twenty-one,” Sakura let out a laugh through her nose, “I mean, obviously. Can’t you see the hangover?”

The man chuckled.

He looked sort of familiar but Sakura knew she’d never seen this man before in her life. His eyes were purple and had several rings coming from the pupil. His black hair was also a surprisingly long length, reaching down to around his knees. No, if Sakura had ever met this man before she’d know it.

“I assume your party guests are all passed out back in the room?” He asked, followed by a head tilt indicating they needed to move up in the line.

Sakura took a step forward and shook her head. “Nah, they aren’t the type.”

The man cracked a lopsided smile. The fangs the poked out when he did so told Sakura he was hip to her verbal jive. “Then why in the world are you braving this hell alone?”

“Because I  _ am _ the type and they probably got bored waiting around for me to get up,” Sakura said with a genuine laugh. She would have liked to wake up with Sasori next to her but she also understood that waiting for someone who sleeps for around eight hours to wake up can get boring.

He looked at his watch and nodded. “Hm, yes, people like you are usually asleep around now.”

Sakura rolled her eyes in the direction of the next two drunken idiots who couldn’t decide whether they wanted waffles or pancakes. “If that were true we’d have our food by now.”

He hummed in agreement and the two of them waited in comfortable silence long enough to move up two spaces. Eventually he spoke up again, “So, discounting this moment, are you enjoying your overall stay?”

Sakura looked back at him and nodded. “Yeah it’s been great. My friends surprised me by bringing me here and it’s been nothing short of fantastic,” she paused. “Up until now.”

“I assure you the wait is well worth it,” he said.

“I’ll hold you to that,” Sakura replied. “So, why are you staying here? Vacation?”

“I wish.” He laughed. “Business.”

Sakura returned the laugh. “Well, I can’t speak for everyone, but I’d love to work somewhere that sends their employees to a hot spring.”

He kept a warm smile on his face as he said, “Oh no you don’t.” Sakura didn’t get the chance to reply as it was her turn to begin piling her plate. The knowledge that food was only minutes away threw the thought of the man from her mind.

By the time she got to the end of the line her stomach was nearly screaming at her. She’d gotten a big plate of pancakes, half a dozen strips of bacon, and a bottle of water bigger than her forearm. After she plopped a pudding cup on her tray and left the line she suddenly stopped and whirled around to face the man.

“Oh, thank you for the conversation,” she held out her hand to him and gave a warm smile. “My name’s Sakura, by the way.”

He returned the smile and the handshake. “Madara, and the pleasure was mine.”

~

Stomach full, Sakura bussed her tray and walked out of the cafeteria, starting the long walk back to her party’s cluster of rooms. Now that she’d gotten food in her stomach, Sakura’s head was feeling better, but not quite gone. She opened her water bottle and took a swig before closing it and pressing it against her head.

She’d taken so long eating the bottle was starting to border on room temperature. Pulling it from her head, Sakura pressed her fingers to it, mumbling a quick incantation. When she pressed it to her forehead again she sighed at the chill. It soothed the pounding.

The rest of the way to the room Kisame was staying in was punctuated with satisfied moans and sighs as Sakura ran the bottle from one side of her forehead and back again. Every now and then she’d press it to the back of her neck as well.

When she came up to the door Sakura reached forward to knock but noticed the door was ajar. Right now Sakura was not inclined to wait and pushed the door open while calling out, “Hey, Kisame, where’s that headache stuff? I’m dying over...” she paused, seeing four pairs of eyes trained on her. “...Here. Uh, hey?”

Kisame got up and gave her a quick wave before going to his bag to rifle around. Deidara and Hidan gave her a hello that seethed out past smirking lips. Sasori mumbled a, “Hello,” but had his eyes trained on the wall in an angry glare. Sakura couldn’t be sure but she thought she saw a pinker hue to his cheeks.

“Here you go,” Kisame handed her the familiar pill which she downed immediately.

“Thanks, I really needed that.” She glared over at the other three. “At least put some water in me before I pass out, alright?”

“Yeah, Sasori,” Deidara said and nudged Sasori’s shoulder. “You’re slackin, hm.”

Sasori rolled his eyes in response.

“And you,” Sakura pointed at Hidan. “Do you gotta be so damn  _ loud _ around people who are asleep?”

Sasori thwacked Hidan’s arm, “See? You did wake her up.”

“Tch, not my fault you can’t put someone in a proper sex coma,” Hidan replied nonchalantly.

Sakura blinked slowly and looked over to Kisame. “Have you guys been teasing Sasori?”

Kisame gave her a blank look in response. “Uh...”

Sakura bit her cheek to stop from laughing. To hide the obvious quirk in her lips she strode over, knelt know next to Sasori, and draped herself over his back. “Aww, poor Saso-baby, are they being mean to you?”

“Don’t ever call me that again,” Sasori ground out but made no move to push her off.

“That’s fair,” she replied then looked at Hidan. “After what you said earlier you have no room to be teasing him. Or could it be you’re trying to get ahead of the game by getting insider information?”

“Even if I was, it’s not like he’ll give anything up. He’s just as bad as Kisame,” Hidan nodded towards the blue man who finally came to sit on the floor again.

Something tugged at Sakura’s heart. She smiled a soft smile and squeezed her arms around Sasori just a bit tighter. “You guys are great, you know that? Well, maybe not you,” she shot at Hidan with a jovial tone.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Hidan asked.

“It means she doesn’t appreciate you wanting us to talk about her behind her back,” Deidara said.

Hidan scoffed. “First of all, don’t be a little bitch, you ask just as much as me. Second of all,” he turned to look at Sakura. “The more I know, the better it is for you, dumbass.”

Sakura, again, simply blinked before sitting back off of Sasori as she took in the words. Another small smile came to her lips.

“Have you never had sex?” Deidara cut through her thoughts.

Hidan glared at him. “Of course I have, dumbass! Have you? Obviously Sakura’s going to like different shit than that girl you somehow took home in the seventies.”

Unable to think of a good comeback, Deidara resigned himself to glaring back at Hidan. The damn bastard had a point and it was infuriating.

Sakura kept the soft smile and scooted forward to give Hidan a quick peck on the cheek. “You’re more than just a horny idiot, aren’t you?”

Hidan flashed her a large grin. “Glad you finally noticed.” For a moment they were able to sit content silence, but, of course, Hidan had to break it. “You still never said if you went down on her.”

Sasori, mid drink, coughed and shot daggers at Hidan with his glare. “No but I did tell you to  _ shut up _ .”

Despite herself, Sakura laughed. She also decided something then and there.

“You know, if you guys are keeping quiet for my sake, you don’t have to,” she said while glancing from Sasori to Kisame. “I mean… There’s  _ some _ things I don’t mind you withholding,” she gave Kisame a longer glance, “but overall I don’t really care if you guys talk. As long as it’s not how fraternity dudebros talk about their most recent one night stand.”

They were all quiet for a second when Deidara broke the silence by asking, “Are you sure?”

Sakura nodded. “Yeah, I mean…” A flush started creeping up her neck and down her ears. “I kinda… I mean… I assume we’ll all… Ahem… I mean eventually….” The words seemed caught in her throat. Sakura was getting frustrated with herself. She knew what she wanted to say, so she should just be able to  _ say _ it.

She cleared her throat and looked from one pair of eyes to the next. “If I’m going to be sexually active with more than one person at once, it stands to reason that those persons should be able to discuss said sexual encounters amongst themselves. Right?”

Silence once more. Then, “You sound like a fucking textbook, you know that?”

Again Sakura started to laugh but this time the rest of the guys joined in as well. The five of them were soon doubled over, holding their stomachs. Sakura was slumped against Hidan’s shoulder and every time she thought she was done she’d look at one of their faces and break out laughing again.

One by one they died down until Sakura was the only one still giggling.

“I wish Itachi had been here for that,” she said between breaths. “I would have loved to see him lose his shit… Where are he and Tobi anyways?”

“Business stuff,” Sasori informed her.

Sakura took that as a good enough answer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg I am so sorry for the wait but also I have excuses this time. I legit had no internet for. Like. A week or so and then before THAT I was moving to another state and that took the better part of a month to finagle. And I'm trying to do life stuff and... Blargh, basically.
> 
> Please, send in stuff you guys are interested in seeing happen, be it nsfw or funny. I love hearing what you guys have to say. And I hope to see y'all before fall LOL... <3


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One: Holy shit what? I'm alive? And posting? It's a miracle
> 
> Two: Oh my god yall are awesome. I need to say a big BIG thank you to tumblr user gabb-yeet for helping me with this chapter. I cannot thank you enough, you beautiful soul. I also want to thank tumblr user starbucksscaresme for messaging me and giving me all of your kind words. I said I'd update last week but i mean. One day late isn't too bad, yes? 
> 
> Please accept this nonsense as retribution for disappearing for so long. And please enjoy!

When Itachi and Tobi had returned from their ‘business stuff’ they walked in on… a sight.

A Monopoly board laid out in the middle of the room with everyone around it in varying states of distress. Sasori was lying on his back, staring up at the ceiling, eyes glazed over and he was mumbling something about railroads. Kisame was the closest to the door and when he saw Itachi and Tobi enter he whispered a quiet, “Help us.”

Hidan was sitting on Deidara’s back, straddling him, pulling at his hair and screaming about hotels or something while Sakura tried her best to pull Hidan off of Deidara.

“What in the world…” Itachi trailed off.

“Deidara wouldn’t give up B&O Railroad,” Kisame explained. “It just… Escalated.” He gestured over towards the pile of bodies.

Itachi put his hand to his forehead and sighed. “Hidan, get the hell off of Deidara. You know  _ he _ won’t like it if you spill blood on one of his properties.”

Hidan, somehow, managed to hear Itachi’s curt tone over his own wailing. He stopped mid-sentence, considered something, and released Deidara. “Whatever,” he muttered as he pushed past Sakura to sit back in his original seat. “Not worth it.”

Sakura looked from Hidan to Deidara to Itachi, perplexed. “What… I… How did you….?”

“Fear works wonders.” Itachi looked down at Sasori. “It went fine, by the way.”

Sasori gave a quick nod. “Okay, good to know.”

“Sasori, are you okay?” Tobi crouched next to him.

“They’re just…” Sasori brought his hands up to his face. “So  _ stupid _ .”

“Rude,” Sakura stretched her leg out to kick him.

“Not you,” Sasori said.

Sakura grumbled as she brought her leg back to sit criss crossed. “Better not be.”

“Are you feeling okay, Sakura?” Tobi asked as he came over to sit next to her. “You drank a lot at dinner.”

Sakura smiled and nodded. “Yeah. I woke up a little while ago with a killer headache, but Kisame helped. It wasn’t nearly as bad as after Kisame’s birthday.” She winced at the memory.

“Yay!” Tobi hugged her. “Which means you can drink more again tonight! Drunk Sakura is fun.”

“What about sober Sakura?” Sakura asked with mock offense.

“Different sort of fun,” Tobi assured.

Sakura hummed in consideration. “Alright. I accept that.” She hugged him back. “What sorta business stuff were you all up to exactly?”

Tobi waved his hand dismissively. “Boring stuff.”

“Immensely,” Itachi said as he sat down.

“Happy to not be there,” Hidan said.

“Yes, Kakuzu was wondering where you were,” Itachi said.

Hidan groaned. “ _ He’s _ here??”

“He was,” Tobi said.

“They left when we were finished,” Itachi said.

“Thank Jashin.” Hidan ran a hand through his hair. “I do not want to deal with that asshole right now.”

“He must be such a lovely person,” Sakura said. “You should definitely introduce me, Hidan.”

Hidan shot her a glare. “Woman, don’t make me come over there.”

Sakura put up her hands and gestured for him to come to her. “Bring it, boy. Or did you forget how this ended last time?” She gestured to her mouth and stuck her tongue out. “I could always remind you.”

Hidan’s glare melted into a smirk. “Do  _ I _ need to remind _ you _ how that ended?” 

“Return of She-Hulk?” Tobi asked.

Sakura was about to say something but Hidan interrupted her, “I was thinking of something a bit different.”

Sakura puffed out her cheeks in a pout. “That was playing dirty and you know it.”

Hidan’s smirk grew. “Hell yeah I do.”

Sakura threw her hands in the air and shot Deidara a glare when she heard him snickering. “Don’t you dare say anything.”

“What happened?” Kisame asked.

“Hidan was an ass,” Sakura supplied.

“Ah,” Kisame said as if everything now made sense.

Itachi rolled his shoulders and looked around the room. “Is there anymore of that green bottle left?”

“Yeah,” Sasori pointed to a corner of the room. “Should be over there unless Kisame took it.”

Itachi mumbled a thank you and asked if anyone else wanted him to grab anything from the large group of bottles. Mostly everyone asked for him to bring something over, but when Itachi looked to Sakura she shook her head vehemently.

“No, no way,” she said. “I’m still dehydrated as heck. If I drink anymore I’ll have to go to the hospital.”

“Suit yourself,” Hidan said as he took a bottle from Itachi. It was still more than half full, but if Sakura were to guess, it would be empty in about two hours. She still couldn’t comprehend that they could drink so damn much.

Sakura watched them all begin their new round of intoxication and decided this would be the perfect opportunity to fully enjoy the hot springs --  _ without _ interruptions.

The memory from only a few hours ago brought a flush to her face and Sakura looked over to Sasori with a small smile. Well, another interruption wouldn’t be so bad. Still, she barely had time to enjoy herself last time.

Also she really wanted to get her phone back.

With a huff she stood and stretched, making a sound that was probably louder than it should have been. “Guys, I’m gonna head off to the springs again while you all,” she gestured around the room, “do whatever.”

“Aww,” Tobi whined. “You won’t stay with us?”

Sakura laughed and shook her head. “Being the only sober one is never fun. And I kinda left my phone there anyways.”

“We’ll hang out later, right?”

“Of course,” Sakura promised.

She picked up her overly large water bottle and headed out the door, saying her goodbyes. She went straight for the hot spring and didn’t bother taking her clothes off in the designated changing rooms. Instead, she let a trail of fabric follow her to the edge of the pool and then she slid in, letting the warmth seep into her.

The plan had been to relax, to let her mind drift and mellow out into white noise. But instead of wandering to nothing, she kept thinking back to the group of men getting wasted inside. How they’d made this one of the best birthday celebrations ever, even if it wasn’t even halfway done.

Hopefully Kisame’s birthday had been almost as amazing for him, but Sakura was determined to make it up to everyone else. They deserved it.

“Oh, right,” Sakura murmured. Hidan’s birthday was in less than a week, he’d mentioned that…

Sakura clicked her tongue and rolled her eyes. Of course he’d wait until the last minute to actually tell her. He’d have to know by now how much she loved throwing birthdays, right? What was he expecting would happen now that she had zero planning time?

Even Sakura herself had to laugh at that. She knew what he was probably expecting. And yet… Somehow she knew he’d be happy with a Netflix marathon or even her letting him talk about his religion for a few hours. She smiled. That would be nice.

Other things would be nice, too, though.

Sakura was already flushed pink from the spring, but she knew she was blushing. Her thoughts had a mind of their own right now it seemed. It was too easy to imagine exactly what she’d be actually  _ happy _ doing with him then.

Bodies flushed pink, quick gasps, writhing hips… Sated smiles, afterglow giggles, now-warm body pulling her close, her eyes drooping as he let her nod off for a bit.

It all brought a grin to her face but Sakura still found herself groaning in irritation because  _ what else was she supposed to do, though?! _

“Hidan, you utter dunce!” Sakura shook her first at the pale sky. It was just starting to turn a pale gray, the stars slowly blinking away.

The door inside slid open then followed by someone asking, “What did Hidan do now?”

Sakura turned to see Itachi standing there, closing the door behind him. His hair was down from his usual ponytail and he had nothing but a towel hanging loosely over his waist.

Sakura squashed the initial knee-jerk reaction to turn away and instead shot him a pout. “Hidan told me his birthday is in, like, five days -- well, four now.”

“Hn,” Itachi padded forward. “And that’s bad?”

“Terrible!” Sakura threw her hands in the air, honestly uncaring of her nudity in the moment -- Itachi made it easy to do; his eyes stayed easily on her face. “He’s given me half a week to prepare his birthday!! Do you know how long it took to do Kisame’s?”

Itachi breathed a laugh and moved to undo his towel -- Sakura politely directed her attention away from him, conveniently taking that moment to pick up her phone.

“Hidan wouldn’t want anything as flashy as that,” he said as he lowered himself into pool.

Sakura turned on her screen and saw she’d gotten a good number of texts. She began to look through them while she kept talking to Itachi. “True, but still. I wanted to repay all of you for this.”

“You don’t have to do that,” Itachi said in a tone that said there was no arguing.

“Yes, I do,” Sakura replied easily. Itachi was surprisingly not as prickly as Sasuke. It was easy for Sakura to handle him, truthfully.

She shot off replies to happy birthday texts and comments from Ino about the pictures she’d posted. The phone wasn’t even back on the ground before she saw that Naruto had replied. She laughed to herself. It took a few back and forth messages to assure him she was doing fine and everything was going great before he relented and told her goodbye.

“Sorry about that,” Sakura said and looked up at Itachi sheepishly. “Naruto likes to take the roll of my mom sometimes.”

“It’s no problem,” Itachi replied. “You really don’t have to repay us, though.” He reached out to run his fingers down her arm. “We’re doing this because we want to.”

Sakura smiled and hummed. “And you should know how much  _ I _ like planning parties. Hadn’t Sasuke ever mentioned all the parties I threw for him?”

Itachi looked off to the rippling water, a small smile on his lips. “Yes. He did.”

“Then you know!” Sakura laughed. “So, whether I need to pay you all back or not, you’re getting them. All of you.”

Itachi kept the smile but returned his eyes to look at her. “I look forward to it.”

They sat like that for a while, comfortably quiet, with Itachi’s hand traveling up and down Sakura’s arm at first, and then up to her neck and into her hair. Sakura hummed happily and leaned her head back into it.

“Hey,” she murmured with eyes closed.

“Hm?”

“Why’d you come out here?” Sakura asked. “I thought you were going to get shitfaced.”

Itachi hummed. “I only needed enough to take the edge off after the meeting.”

“Ah, yes,” Sakura scrunched up her face. “Business things. Sounds icky.”

Itachi laughed. It was more of a small chuckle, really, but Sakura knew a laugh from Itachi when she heard one. “It was very icky. But everyone else had other plans and I didn’t fancy being around my inebriated housemates.”

“At least not when you’re also drunk, right?” Sakura asked. “I saw you last night, you were having a great time with them.”

“Yes, but as you pointed out, I was also drinking. Being around them sober is…”

“A headache?”

Itachi nodded. “A bit, yes.”

“Do you guys even  _ get  _ headaches?” Sakura asked. “I mean… There’s no blood, so…”

“You tell me, doctor,” Itachi said.

Sakura dropped her jaw in mock aghast. “Was that  _ sass _ , Uchiha?”

“Perhaps,” Itachi drawled. “Or, it was the couple shots I did in fact do before coming here.”

Sakura laughed so hard she ended up snorting. “There are a few things I don’t expect to hear in my life, and Itachi Uchiha saying he did shots is absolutely one of those things.”

Itachi’s fingers moved from the back of Sakura’s neck to wrap his arm around her shoulders and pull her closer to him. “I’m sure there are a few things you’ve done lately you didn’t think you’d ever do.”

Sakura didn’t bother hiding the blush on her cheeks, even when Itachi’s lips quirked into the tiniest smirk. “My best friend’s older brother is definitely high up on that list.” Then, without thinking, she said in a near whisper. “I mean, that’s not to say I hadn’t  _ thought about it…. _ ”

Itachi’s eyebrow twitched up. “What was that?”

Sakura chewed on her cheek before answering. “Itachi, I slept over at your house.  _ A lot _ . I knew well before this year that you enjoy going shirtless more often than you’d admit.” Itachi was giving her a look that could almost be called smug and Sakura huffed. “Don’t give me that look. You pranced around that house shamelessly even when my young and impressionable eyes were present.”

“...Pranced?”

“Pranced.” Sakura nodded. “So of course my young and curious mind conjured up miscellaneous ideas.” Itachi kept his eyes on her and Sakura knew he was waiting for her to continue. With a deep breath she glanced down and trailed her fingers along the top of his thigh under the water.

“Well, since you asked  _ so nicely _ ,” she responded sarcastically to the silence, “I didn’t have a very good idea of,” she cleared her throat, “measurements… So…” She found it was easier to stare down at their laps than look him in the eye right then. “You’re a lot… More. Than I’d imagined.” She waited for a reply but when he made no noise she looked back up.

Sakura was surprised to say the least when there was a light red coloring Itachi’s cheeks and even his neck. She mused to herself that he must have had more than alcohol to drink….

Then, another thought occurred to her.

“Itachi?”

“Hm?” He hummed and flicked his gaze back to her; Sakura bit her lip and made herself not recoil under the weight of his stare.

“You… Can get headaches after you feed, can’t you?”

There was a quiet pause and Itachi furrowed his brows together. “I… Yes, that is correct.”

Sakura trailed her hand higher up his thigh, just brushing the crease that joined leg and body. “Which means you can get other things after feeding, too…”

Itachi caught on quickly. He sucked in a quick, albeit quiet, breath. “Yes.”

Sakura subconsciously started biting her lip for the nth time that morning. She was completely sober at this point so the thought of going as far as they could was still nerve wracking, but… Other things didn’t sound as intimidating.

“Itachi?” She asked and was answered with a hum. “Um… May I?”

He swallowed and nodded slowly. Sakura might have giggled at his obvious nerves if hers weren’t just as bad. It was nice, though. Everyone else had been so confident and sure in what they were doing while Sakura was trying to swallow down nervous babble.

But here was Itachi --  _ Itachi frickin Uchiha _ \-- who was nervous and goddamn  _ blushing _ . It helped. Weirdly, it helped Sakura take that last step and reach forward, ghosting the tips of her fingers over him. 

Now she let herself stare more unabashed and took a quick second to remind herself that yes, wow, she was very wrong about her own preconceived notions. And no, she wasn’t at all upset about this.

Sakura gently wrapped her hand around him, just  _ feeling _ and it earned her a quick breath from Itachi. Off to a good start. That was good because Sakura suddenly realized that she had absolutely no idea how to actually proceed. Ino had told her a few things over the years -- ‘ _ Just in case!’ _ \-- and Sakura was wishing she’d paid more attention.

“Shit,” she whispered to herself, stupidly thinking Itachi wouldn’t hear it or notice.

“Are you okay?” He asked in a voice much too even for the situation.

“I…” Sakura stumbled over her words, restarting her sentence a few times.

Itachi took pity on her, though. He reached up to thread his fingers through her hair and fix her with a serious stare. “Sakura, if you’re uncomfortable, we don’t have to -- “

Sakura shook her head. “No! No, that’s… Not it.” She groaned. “I have no idea what I’m doing,” she said in a rush.

“Oh,” Itachi said. 

“Y-Yeah…” Sakura grumbled but still kept her hand in place. “I want to… But I’m not really sure  _ how _ …”

Itachi cleared his throat and looked to the side. “You’re -- It’s -- I’ll… Tell you if something is, ah, not ideal.”

Sakura nodded, “Yeah. Okay, that’s… Yeah that works.” She pursed her lips for a whole three seconds before she let herself giggle.

Itachi looked back at her. “Sakura?”

She waved a hand in front of her face. “It’s nothing, it’s nothing. I’m happy is all.”

“Oh?”

“Mhmm,” Sakura hummed as she shifted, swinging a leg over his lap so she could look at him face to face. “Here’s Mister Uchiha, the cool and oh-so-suave older brother to the boy everyone liked or envied in high school, and he’s stammering almost as much as me.” She giggled again. “Can you, like, stop being better than my imagination?”

Itachi chuckled. “Sorry?”

Sakura leaned in, pressing her lips to his. Instead of replying she continued moving her hand over the hardness between them.

It wasn’t rocket science, of course. Sakura knew she could make it feel  _ good  _ but what if it wasn’t good  _ enough _ ? 

She tried emulating things she’d seen online, worried that it might even end up hurting, but then Itachi was forcing down a moan and his hands came up to grip her hips. His head tipped back and Sakura took advantage of the fact to press her lips to the column of his neck.

When she bit on where his pulse point would be, Itachi hissed out a sound that may have been her name. Another bite, another suck, and Sakura was happy for Itachi’s sake that there wouldn’t be any marks left behind -- the poor man was more shy than he seemed.

Itachi’s hands smoothed around her waist and started moving to her legs and around her thighs. Sakura tsked and used her free hand to grab one of his while moving her lips up to his ear.

“Just let me for now,” she breathed against him. Whatever retort was on the tip of Itachi’s tongue came out as a low moan when Sakura slid her hand up his cock and pressed her thumb over the slit. “You can do what you like some other time. I wanna take care of you right now.”

It seemed to take a lot of focus for Itachi to nod. Sakura hummed happily and nipped at his ear.

Yeah, Sakura decided, she was happy to let all the focus land on him right now. He deserved it -- they all did. Itachi just so happened to be one of the ones who would be more humble about it.

She repeated the action from before and the grip on her hips tightened. Instead of keeping his head tilted back, Itachi sat forward and shifted them so he plant open mouthed kisses to Sakura’s neck.

Sakura’s ministrations stuttered for a quick second and then she was back to drawing muffled groans from the man underneath her. Every now and then Sakura would do something with her hand that would make Itachi press further into her, muffling any sound, but also pressing his fangs against her. The sharp prick got no where near piercing skin, but the light pressure still sent a tingle down her spine.

Heat began to flicker in her abdomen, but she wasn’t able to think long on that. Itachi was reaching over to halt her with a panted, “Sakura, wait, I’m -- “

Sakura halted and ran her free hand up his arm. “That’s kinda the point, you know.”

Itachi looked up at her. His voice was strained but steady. “Not in the water.”

Sakura blinked back at him and then it clicked. “ _ Oh! _ Right.” She looked around and saw a few lounging chairs not far off from the pool. She pointed. “Go lay on one of those.”

Itachi followed her gaze and nodded. They both settled in about the same position but this time Sakura stalled, looking down at him.

“Sakura?” Itachi asked.

She licked her lips -- an action that did not go unnoticed by Itachi. “Can I… Try something?”

“Try what?” Itachi brushed the hair from her face.

Now the blush she was sporting was even more visible. “I want to… Use more than just my hands.”

Itachi’s face wasn’t nearly as red as Sakura’s, but it was getting there. “If -- If you do, I may not… I won’t last long.”

Sakura shook her head. “I don’t care about that. As long as it feels good, right?”

Itachi’s shoulders relaxed a bit. “Yeah, that’s right.”

She gave a reassuring smile and scooted down his legs so she was straddling his knees now. “Same as before, yeah? Tell me if I’m doing anything wrong.” She leaned forward, butterflies exploding in her stomach.

Itachi reached forward to brush her hair out of her face and Sakura felt her heart stutter. Of course that simple gesture is the thing that  _ actually _ flusters her and not the cock she’s gently wrapping her fingers around again.

She looks down at him for a moment before leaning in and giving a tentative lick to the head. Itachi’s hand tightened in her hair and he back another groan.

So far so good.

This time she was bolder, swirling her tongue around the head and then pressing into the slit -- in this moment she was oh so glad for the Internet and the plethora of porn on it. Otherwise she’d have no idea what she was doing. But Itachi looked and sounded like she was doing the right thing, so she pressed on.

She leaned in and licked a stripe up from the base of his cock to the head and then pressed it past her lips. With barely more the head in her mouth she gave a tentative suck and Itachi grit out a quick, “ _ Shit. _ ”

Sakura preened and continued the motion. She bobbed her head slowly, minding her teeth and hollowing her cheeks. Her hand followed the motion and soon she found her rhythm. It went on for almost a minute before Itachi was tugging at her hair, warning her he was close.

There were a few things she was up to trying today, but there were also many more things she’d rather not do. At the warning she pulled off of his cock with a wet pop and was immediately pulled back to her original position.

Itachi’s lips found hers and Sakura let him kiss her as he pleased as she continued her quickened pace. A quick gasp was the only warning and then Itachi was moaning long and low as something warm hit across Sakura’s stomach and hand.

They sat there for a while, Sakura running her clean hand through his hair. The both of them listening to each other’s breathing.

Itachi broke the silence with a chuckle.

Sakura returned the laugh. “Oh come on, I can’t have been bad enough to  _ laugh _ !”

Itachi shook his head and gave her another kiss. “No, it’s not that,” he paused for only a second then continued, knowing Sakura would press him. “It usually lasts longer than that is all.”

Sakura rolled her eyes and gave a half hearted smack to his arm. “Don’t you even. I told you, all that matters is that you enjoyed it.” She crossed her arms. “You did enjoy it, right?”

Itachi nodded and looked down between them. He grimaced. “We should get you cleaned up.”

“Probably, but first.” She leaned in again until she felt his lips against hers once again. This time the kiss was slow and gentle, but it still made her stomach flutter. 

When they pulled away from each other Sakura started stretching her legs out while Itachi grabbed one of the many clean towels scattered around. He dipped it into the water and walked over to stand behind her, bringing his hands around so he could press the cloth to her stomach and also nuzzle into her neck.

Sakura had to cover her mouth to keep from giggle-shrieking. Now that her senses weren’t interpreting everything as pleasurable, her ticklish nature returned. She wriggled in his grip, nearly screeching for him to stop between giggles. Itachi kept assuring her he had no idea what she was talking about. He was only trying to help her clean up!

In the end the both of them were entangled in some strange tickle/wrestling competition when Sasori and Deidara came by. Sakura tried to bribe them with freebee spells if they helped her hold Itachi down so she could tickle his feet.

Itachi countered by threatening to purge their room while they were at class.

Itachi won.

* * *

“That’s a stupid idea,” Hidan said with what he hoped was finality.

Sakura disregarded his tone. “It is not!”

“It absolutely is. There’s only one reason anyone ever plays it and every one of us can kiss you whenever we want. Also it’s boring.” Hidan nodded to himself.

“Truth or dare is  _ not _ boring. Ino and I played it all the time in high school!” Sakura defended.

“Fuckin’ stop the presses everyone! Teenage girls played truth or dare! Sakura, how could you have not told us before? Seriously, this is groundbreaking. Do tell, what scandalous acts did you get up to? Frozen bras? Whipped cream on people’s faces?” Hidan rolled his eyes. “Give me a break.”

Sakura crossed her arms and was about to retaliate but Itachi spoke first.

“I do not have a heavy opinion on the game itself, but I can say that if your games with your friends were anything like the ones you played with my brother…” Itachi trailed off and seemed to see a memory rather than Sakura’s face. “Deidara never started a fire nearly as big…”

“Excuse me?” Deidara leaned in. “You told me I did a helluva lot of damage that time I blew up the bathroom.”

Itachi nodded. “Indeed. And four months later the western quarters experienced something worse.”

“You said you were remodeling,” Kisame said. He was staring at Sakura with an odd mixture of awe and perhaps terror.

Sakura smiled sweetly and shrugged. “We were going over attack spells that week and one thing led to another. My point is,” she pointed at Hidan, “truth or dare  _ is _ fun! And the stakes are better now that alcohol is involved.”

“How?” Tobi asked.

“Well can’t you decide to take a shot instead of do a dare or answer a truth? As a sort of punishment?”

“Sounds fun,” Deidara said. “I’m game.”

“Same,” Kisame came to sit in the circle.

“Yeah!!” Tobi chimed in, bouncing in his seat next to Sakura.

She looked over to the other three with a pouty face and puppy dog eyes.

Itachi cracked first, coming over and taking a seat silently. Sasori grumbled something unintelligible but walked over as well.

“Oh,  _ fine! _ ” Hidan threw his arms up in the air and plopped down next to Deidara. “Maybe I can at least fuck with some of you.”

“Who asks first?” Deidara asked.

“Why not the birthday girl?” Kisame looked to Sakura.

Oh, she’d hoped they’d pick her early on. She grinned, trying to keep it sweet. “What? Little ol’ me? Well if you insist!” She put a finger to her chin and hummed, pretending to think. “How about…” She pointed straight to Hidan.

He rolled his eyes. “What a shocker.”

“Truth or dare, bitch?” Sakura asked.

Hidan smirked. “Fucking dare me.”

Sakura clapped her hands together. “Fantastic. Now… Whatever could it be?” She put her hand to her chin again. “Oh, I just have no idea! Whatever could I possibly pick?”

“Just hurry up, damn.” Hidan gripped.

“I dare you to kiss Deidara.”

“ _ Excuse me?” _ A pair of voices rang out.

Kisame had to slap a hand over his mouth to keep quiet and Itachi was obviously biting down hard on his cheek to keep from smiling.

“What?” Sakura asked innocently. “You’re the one who said this was the point.” She looked to Deidara and mouthed ‘sorry!’

Deidara recovered quickly and shrugged. “Could be worse.”

Hidan glared at him. “Oh really??”

“Yeah,” Deidara said like it was obvious. “Am I worse than tasting literal ass for a week?”

“Hell yeah!” Hidan shot at him.

Deidara put the back of his hand to his forehead. “I am wounded.”

“Come on, you idiot.” Kisame nudged Hidan. “It’s that or you’re taking a shot from that bottle that smells like a zoo.”

Hidan groaned and turned to Deidara then looked back at Sakura. “Wait, how long?”

“However long a good kiss lasts,” she told him. “I know that must not be something you’re familiar with, but I know Deidara can help you through it.”

Deidara couldn’t hide his smug grin.

Hidan grabbed the collar of Deidara’s shirt with one hand and pointed at Sakura with the other. “You must have had too much to drink. But don’t worry, I’ll be over to give you a reminder of how fucking amazing I am once I’m done here.”

Sakura hummed and gestured with her hand. “Stop stalling.”

Evidently Deidara was also tired of waiting. He clicked his tongue when Hidan still didn’t move and grabbed the back of his head, pulling him in. 

Sakura joined in with the rest of the guys in cheering them on. She couldn’t help a quick excited giggle that slipped past her lips -- the whole situation was sinking in and it all felt surreal. Fucking Hidan and Deidara were making out because of a dare of Sakura’s and she was cheering them on.

And on top of the whole strangeness of the situation, Sakura found she did not mind the sight in front of her one bit.

...That would be a thought to revisit another time. Sometime when the two men weren’t parting and Hidan wasn’t turning to fix Sakura with wild eyes.

Sakura barely had time to swallow and then he was on her, his hands rough on the back of her head. The kiss was still rough but Sakura felt the underlying care when their teeth didn’t clack together and he didn’t crush them together with a bruising force.

Sakura let him take control, letting Hidan press his tongue past her lips to slide against her own. She tightened her grip in his hair and nipped at him -- it earned her a pleased groan that still sent shivers down her spine even if she was surrounded by people.

And yet… Sakura should be embarrassed -- she should be pushing Hidan away and firmly reprimanding him. She should say this large amount of PDA is unacceptable but… The urge isn’t there. In its place is a pooling warmth that may or may not be  _ because _ of the eyes on her.

Another thing to think about much, much later.

Just as Sakura’s lungs were beginning to burn for air, Hidan pulled away. There was a split second where his expression was just as dazed as hers but it easily melted back into the cocky smirk he loved to wear.

Sakura huffed. “Yeah, yeah. Gold star for you.”

Hidan laughed. “Awesome.” He leaned in to press a chaste kiss to her forehead and then he was going back to his spot. “My turn to ask now, right?”

“Uh, yeah,” Deidara said.

The game, from there, dissolved into what Sakura would categorize as chaotic nonsense. Sure, Sakura played some pretty stupid fucking games of truth or dare, but this was ridiculous. One would think these guys had never actually played this game and were getting out the stupid, idiotic things they would have taken care of in their teens.

To their credit this game probably didn’t exist when any of them were teenagers, but that’s beside the point.

Sakura, whether she wanted to or not, knew a  _ lot _ more about her boys now. 

At one point Kisame was asked just what the hell kind of piercing he’d gotten in the seventies. There was a lot of stalling and when he’d finally said the name, the meaning flew over Sakura’s head. Deidara had to explain that basically he’d had metal in his dick.

“Kisame,  _ why? _ ”

“I was drunk and Suigetsu made a good argument,” he explained. 

“It’s not still…” Tobi asked and glanced to Kisame’s lap.

Kisame shook his head. “No, god no. Hell no.” He shook his head and took a sip from the cup next to him. “Never again.”

“Who the hell is stupid enough to  _ do _ that?!” Hidan hollered from his position laying on the ground. There were tears in his eyes from laughing.

Kisame gave Hidan an unimpressed look. “Like you haven’t done anything stupid.”

“Not  _ that _ stupid!”

“Truth or dare, Hidan.” Kisame said.

Hidan wiped his eyes and sat up. “Oh no, how scary. Dare.”

“Tell us about that girl from 1867.”

Hidan’s pale face went whiter. “You son of a fuck.” He weighed his options for two seconds and then grabbed the bottle to drink from when you forfeit a turn.

“Are you serious?” Sasori stared at him warily.

Hidan took a swig straight from the bottle. He coughed and groaned for a bit. “We’re not digging that up, no way. No how. Nope. Fuck all of you.”

Sakura raised an eyebrow. “Now I want to know more.”

Hidan glared. “Never.” He pointed at Itachi. “Your turn, pretty boy.”

The game started to wind down after that and Sakura was planning on heading off to bed after Hidan’s next turn.

Everyone really liked picking on Hidan, it seemed. Sakura had only had a handful of turns and none had been horrendous. 

“Dare, obviously.” Hidan said.

Deidara grinned. “You still got the ‘emergency’ credit card on you?”

“Yeah…?” Hidan answered warily.

“Excellent,” Deidara reached for his phone. “I dare you… To…” He paused and opened something on his phone. “Ah! Here we go.” He turned the phone to show Hidan. “I dare you to buy this with that card.”

Hidan’s mouth pressed into a straight line. “You want me to buy a fucking fifty-five gallon drum of lube with  _ Kakuzu’s _ card?!”

“Yes, exactly.” Deidara smiled.

Hidan looked from the bottle to the phone and back again. His face changed expression from pissed to confused to what Sakura could only categorize as fear. But then he was throwing his hands in the air and bringing them down to snatch Deidara’s phone and take out his wallet.

“I hate all of you.” Hidan grumbled.

“Hey!” Sakura whined.

Hidan glanced up and winked at her. “Okay, not you.”

“That’s more like it,” Sakura said.

Hidan went back to the phone. “Definitely hate the rest of you, though.”

“He’s gonna kill you,” Sasori said in a bored voice.

“String you up by your thumbs, probably,” Kisame added in.

“How much is it?” Itachi asked.

Hidan grit his teeth. “¥156,800.4”

“It’s half off!” Deidara defended.

“He will skin you alive.” Itachi said.

Hidan pressed hard against Deidara’s phone and then flung it across the room. “There. Done. Happy?”

“You have no idea,” Deidara said, smiling even as he went to his probably cracked phone.

Hidan huffed a sigh. “Fine, fuck, okay next -- “ Hidan’s phone rang. “Already?! How?!!” He pulled out his phone and glared at the name.

“Better answer it,” Kisame said. “Or he’ll come here himself.”

Hidan rolled his eyes and swiped to answer. A voice boomed through the speaker and Sakura decided right then and there that Kakuzu was not high on her to-meet list and it had been nice knowing Hidan.

“We’ll give you a lovely funeral.” Sakura said.

Hidan got up and flipped them all off as he exited the room, screaming back at the phone. “Blame Deidara! He’s the fuckass who thought it was a good idea! … Shut up you old fuck, it’s fine. … It hasn’t even been  _ shipped! _ ” Hidan threw his free hand up. “It’s called a refund you complete fucking dumbfuck!!”

Sakura didn’t try to hide her laughter. No one could hear her over the rest of the boys laughing anyhow.

With Hidan gone to be scolded, the game fizzled out. Sakura scootched over to Deidara and leaned against him, hiding a yawn behind her hand.

“Thanks, and sorry,” Sakura told him.

Deidara absentmindedly brought his hand up to run through her hair. “Hm? For?”

“The kiss, obviously.” Sakura sighed and leaned into the touch.

“Please,” Deidara said with a click of his tongue. “It was hilarious.”

“He  _ is _ the one that said truth or dare was for kissing,” Sakura said and stifled another yawn. “Shit, I should get to bed. I mean it’s already -- “ she looked at her phone, “ -- shit it’s already midnight?! How??”

“Time moves forward,” Deidara said.

Sakura rolled her eyes and stood up. “Well, this human needs sleep.”

Deidara stood up, too. “I’ll walk you there. I gotta get something from the room.”

“Okay!” Sakura smiled and said her goodnights to the rest of them.

On the way back to the room Sakura slipped her hand into Deidara’s and made a point not to let go when they reached her room.

When he gave her a puzzled look she said, “If you don’t have anywhere to be, I’d kinda like a cuddle buddy. At least until I fall asleep?”

Deidara smiled down at her. “I’d love to.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed this. Was the smut worth it? Well. It will be going forward.
> 
> I can't guarantee when I will update again because of a bunch of reasons, some personal and some just being that oh my god I have so many ideas in my head for so many stories.
> 
> I love all of you and I thank you for staying with me.
> 
> Come yell at my at my [tumblr](http://ailarii.tumblr.com/)


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! My name is Nina and I'll be taking over this story for a little while. I'm not sure exactly how many people are still subscribed to this story, but I have a good three chapters already written, so I'll update weekly. I hope the change in writing styles isn't too noticeable/distracting. Please do leave constructive criticism either here or on my tumblr (miss-fandoms-shakespeare) if you have any comments. Please enjoy!

Sakura woke when she felt the sun on her face and could see brightness outside of her eyelids. The very next sensation she was aware of was the feeling of cuddling ice that signified cuddling with a vampire. Yes, that’s right, she’d been cuddling with Deidara before she fell asleep. He’d been telling her about some of the time he spent in New York. Apparently, he’d been in the city around the time Ella Fitzgerald had started performing. Sakura remembered one of her human roommates had liked the jazz singer. She wondered what that girl would think if she knew that Sakura’s current roommate had met the woman. So the ice block behind her was Deidara, got it. “Morning?” she asked, not quite sure what time it was.

“Yeah. How are you feeling?” his voice was gentle in the morning, Sakura remembered. It had been a few weeks since she’d woken up next to him, with all the time she spent studying she’d gone back to sleeping in her own bed as soon as she could.

“Fine. I didn’t drink much yesterday, the first day had wiped me out.” she chuckled softly. Sakura felt a breathy laugh come from Deidara.

“That’s very true, hm. We aren’t leaving until later this evening.” He informed her. Sakura gave a sigh of relief. She didn’t quite want to leave yet. _After all, I still haven’t even been eaten out…_ What? Since when did that become a goal? Ino. Nevermind, Sakura knew exactly when that thought had been put in her head. She couldn’t help but let out a soft giggle, knowing that as soon as she got back she’d have to go out with Ino so she could tell her best friend all about what happened. Deidara made a curious sound.

“What’s so funny?” he asked, lips brushing right underneath her ear. Sakura shivered slightly and concentrated on answering.

“I was reminded of something Ino said.” she answered, a light blush growing on her cheeks. Deidara chuckled and Sakura felt his breath fanning over her skin. The color on her face got darker. Damn, she couldn’t handle sexual things this early in the morning.

“Was it that Ino told us that while you’d love to go to a hot spring, you also need dick? Is that what you were thinking about?” Deidara’s voice was low and right next to her ear. Sakura let out a quiet, embarrassed hum. Then she fought the urge to tense when she felt cool lips on the column of her neck. And then there were hands, one brushing along her collarbone, her head pillowed on that shoulder, and another very lightly stroking over her hip. Sakura relaxed back into the touches, but she could feel her body’s interest in the touches starting to warm and coil in her stomach.

“What are you getting up to?” Sakura asked teasingly, shifting to face Deidara. There was a small smirk on his lips and he was watching her with soft blue eyes.

“Some morning fun.” He answered before leaning in to kiss her. It was like their first kiss in the mall, starting slow and light and very slowly evolving to something dirtier. Sakura’s lungs were burning for air when Deidara pulled back and moved to press wet kisses along the edge of her jaw. She was still sort of amazed when she felt how warm their tongues were. Despite being walking freezers, vampires were certainly hot where it counted if how Itachi had felt was any indicator.

All thoughts of Itachi were immediately driven from her head when she felt fangs scraping along her collarbones. Sakura thinks that she might have let out a pleasured sound, but honestly the haze that usually accompanies someone’s hands on her was starting to settle in. Deidara hummed against her skin and she felt a hand move down her spine to cup her butt. His other hand was gently tracing the slope of her neck, driving her a little crazy. Just when Sakura was nearing enough pleasure to moan, Deidara was pulling back and she made a sound of frustration.

“Is it even possible for you not to tease?” she huffed out, eyebrows drawing together as she took stock of how warm her insides were. Deidara chuckled fondly and pressed light kisses all over her face in apology.

“Sorry. You’re always so enamored with Hidan, I was just trying to imitate his brand of asshole-ness.” Deidara replied jokingly. The comment made Sakura scowl and blush in the same minute. Then the world was moving and she found herself seated upon Deidara’s hips. “We can have more fun like this” He explained at her questioning look. Sakura found no fault in his logic and leaned in, pressing her mouth to his, tongue poking at his lips. A warm sound came from the back of Deidara’s throat and his mouth opens to let their tongues battle. Their kissing continued and Sakura was vaguely aware of light touches along her spine, up her sides, along the curve of her ass, fingers inching up her stomach. But when a cold hand gave a solid squeeze to her breast before the same fingers found a bud and rolled it between them. Sakura was suddenly _very_ aware of the light touches, such contrast to the sharp pleasure she had just felt. A gasp escaped her lips and it was swallowed by Deidara’s mouth. The hands were retreating and Sakura whined, the coil of want now at full blast. Deidara chuckled and pulled back from the kiss. Sakura pouted and lightly smacked his shoulder.

“I hate you! You’re such a tease…” she complained and Deidara raised a brow.

“I was just about to take your shirt off, hm. But I can drag this out…” he smirked and Sakura shook her hands, despite how cute his smirk was.  

“Don’t you dare!” Deidara just smirked back, but true to his word he slid his hands up her side and her shirt was on the floor.

“You still don’t wear anything underneath?” He questioned, eyes hungrily taking the sight. She didn’t cover herself, though her cheeks did go red.

“I was sleeping!” Sakura protested, tugging at the hem of Deidara’s shirt. “Take yours off as well?” she asked. Deidara quickly complied and then, before Sakura had a chance to really look, Deidara had his lips over where her heart is, slowly making their way down, leaving a trail of wet kisses. Sakura gasped and threaded her fingers in the blonde hair not in his ponytail. Fangs pricked the sensitive skin around her buds and Sakura felt a spark of heat flare between her legs. Fingers played with the other bud and Sakura’s hips ground down sharply, causing Deidara to let out a low groan against her chest, and several choice curses. Sakura giggled and repeated the motion, making Deidara hiss out a sharp “shit.” Then the lips were moving lower, just an inch or so. Sakura was a little confused, but pleasure was still ringing through her system so she just let out a soft noise and move her hands to grip at Deidara’s shoulder. He pulled off her skin and looked up at her, lips twisting into a mischievous grin and he let out a dark chuckle. Sakura blinked and found herself on her back staring up at Deidara. She made a sharp noise of surprise, but then he was kissing her and her hands were roaming his back and all was good. Then a hand was tugging off her sleep shorts and underwear together. Sakura broke the kiss.

“Deidara?” she asked breathlessly. He stopped instantly and met her eyes.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t ask.” He started to pull her pants back up but she stopped him with her cheeks blazing.

“It’s fine, I was just surprised, keep going. Please” she responded pushing her own bottoms off of her hips. She was suddenly very aware of the hard heat pressing into the top of her thigh. Sakura blushed even redder, but was particularly pleased to see the tips of Deidara’s cheekbones also turning pink. She went to reach for his pants but he stopped her hand.

“Just relax and enjoy the ride.” He said and started a trail of kisses down her torso, heading south. When the direction of the kisses finally caught up to Sakura’s hazy brain she could feel every inch of skin heat up. And then there were cool hands massaging at her thighs and she gripped Deidara’s hair and moaned. _Ino was right_ , Sakura decided as Deidara nosed her bellybutton. This felt amazing and the fangs added an extra layer of stimulation. Then there was a hot tongue and sharp fangs right at the apex of her legs and all of Sakura’s thoughts left her mind, because fuck fuck fuck that felt _good_. She heard a chuckle from down there and Sakura realized with growing embarrassment that she had said that out loud. But before her embarrassment could get to far teeth and tongue and hands were moving again and Sakura felt her eyes roll back into her head.

 

Deidara was having trouble not grinding into the mattress. Sakura was flushed and sweaty and her breathing was shallow and quick and just so responsive. So he focused his mouth on her clit and inserted a finger. A loud moan of “Deidara” fell from her lips and he did the same motion again. Her muscles were already tensing, she was closer that he’d expect. Deidara added a second finger and rocked them, searching for that spot. He sucked on her clit and Sakura cried out, almost loud enough to be classified a scream. Then his fingers brushed something deep inside her and she cried out again, this time a “yes!” followed by a string of garbled curses and his name. He tried not to smirk too largely as he aimed to constantly thrust his fingers against that spot and worked his tongue and lips around Sakura’s clit.  Deidara felt her muscles clench and then with a chorus of yeses and his name and little cries Sakura rode out what was one of the most intense orgasms shes had.

 

Sakura could hardly breathe when stars whitened the back of eyelids and she felt the world go fuzzy. _Ino was definitely right, the fangs make it better._ Sakura thought, feeling her body winding down, her senses coming back to her. When she opened her eyes she saw Deidara kneeling above her, licking his lips with a contented sigh. Sakura mad eye contact with the blonde and noticed his cheeks were red and there was a very defined tent in his pants. Deidara looked her in the eyes and croaked out an “excuse me for a second…” before he walked out of the bedroom and Sakura heard the shower turn on. She fought back a loud string of giggles

 

* * *

****

 

Sakura doesn’t know who suggested they all go into the hot springs together. It was after lunch, and the group was sitting in one of the rooms just chatting and laughing and bickering. Mostly bickering. If Sakura had to guess, it would be that Tobi made the suggestion. No one had been drinking today, and as she looked around she couldn’t fight a wide smile. Everyone was wearing bathing suits since the guys didn’t want to make her uncomfortable. At first it had been relaxing, but then Sakura had accidentally splashed Hidan. So Hidan made a huge wave that drenched Sakura and Deidara and it all devolved from there. Now a full-out water war had broken out and Sakura was having more fun than she’d had in a very long time. Itachi had made an alliance with her and Kisame while Hidan had talked Tobi into an alliance. People were hiding behind rocks and had commandeered buckets to use as weapons. Sakura scooped water up in a bucket and crept around the rock she knew Hidan was hiding behind. With a shriek, she dumped the whole thing on his head. Hidan whirled around and pointed a finger at her

“You! You’re going down, bitch!” He shouted, already starting to move towards her. Sakura laughed brightly and took off in the other direction.

“Bring it, bitch!” She taunted over her shoulder as she ran.  Only to run directly into Tobi’s arms.

“I’m very Sakura.” Tobi said sincerely, looking truly apologetic. But he held her still as Hidan stalked forward and doused her with water. As soon as Hidan turned the bucket over Kisame came out of nowhere and tackled Hidan to the ground. Everything was chaos. Sakura ran and took cover while she caught her breath. She looked to her left and saw Sasori holding a cup of water. Sakura held up her hands in a surrender gesture.

“Sasori, let’s talk. You know, I never got to give you something back for two days ago…” Sakura knew she was blushing a bright red, but she was already drenched and she was trying to keep a little dignity. Sasori smirked and raised an eyebrow.

“That’s true, but you can’t talk me out of this with the promise of sex. Sorry, Sakura.” He gave her an honest smile and dumped the can of water onto her head. Sakura squeezed her eyes shut and ran around Sasori so he couldn’t strike more than once. Squealing, Sakura ran toward Itachi, hoping he’d give her some protection. She was a foot away when the door opened and the man she’d seen in the cafeteria two days ago came out. And every single creature stopped moving, Sakura included.

“Madara.” Itachi intoned, walking around Sakura to bow his head in greeting. “I had assumed you left with the others after our meeting.” Sasori and Tobi appeared next to Itachi and Hidan came up Sakura to wrap an arm around her waist protectively.

“More information came up and I was still close.” His ringed purple eyes scanned the hot spring and fixed on Sakura. She shivered and subtly curled more towards Hidan. “So these are your friends, Miss Haruno. Quite a small world.” Madara nodded towards her and then gestured to the three in front of him. “Let’s go inside, I’ll tell you what I gathered and then leave for good.” Madara turned and walked away. Itachi shot a warning look to Hidan, Kisame, and Deidara before leading Sasori and Tobi after Madara.

When all four were inside Sakura felt Hidan exhale sharply. “How did he know you?” He asked, quiet but sharp. Sakura felt her cheeks redden.

“After I...after I did _things_ with Sasori and woke up I went to get food and he was in line behind me.” She explained, eyes on the floor. “We talked for a little.” She saw Kisame nod.

“Leave her be, Hidan.” Kisame said gently. “Come on, let’s go inside. We need to start packing anyway.” Deidara nodded and went with Kisame towards inside, but Sakura didn’t move.

“Wait up. Who the fuck was that guy?” She asked, very confused. Hidan snorts and doesn’t answer, crossing his arms.

“Uchiha Madara, Itachi’s like great uncle or something. But he holds a lot of power in the Akatsuki.” Kisame replies, sending Hidan a look Sakura couldn’t quite read.

“Does this means he knows about the werewolf thing?” Sakura asked, instantly curious.

Kisame shrugs. “I wasn’t at the first meeting. It’s possible, but there’s a lot of things he could be informing us about. Itachi and Tobi usually deal with him since they’re all family.” Kisame explained. Sakura nodded, thoughts taking her to an entirely different planet.

“Don’t think about it too hard, hm.” Deidara says, putting a hand on her shoulder and squeezing. Sakura looked at him and he smiled widely at her.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Sakura was just about finished packing. She knew that Itachi was currently getting the car. She took one last look around and smiled softly to herself. This really had been one of the best birthdays she’d ever had. The guys had all been so nice and well, she had experienced a few nice, very new things. Feeling all the blood rush to her head and between her legs, at the thoughts she shrugged them off. After one last check to make sure she wasn’t leaving anything Sakura left the room and heard voices down the hall. It was Hidan and Deidara. Sakura was about to call out when she heard her name. She stopped walking and listened, feeling guilty about eavesdropping, but desperately curious.

“So you finally got around to third base? Heh, I think you’re the last.” Hidan’s voice, teasing. Sakura pursed her lips.

“Don’t be an ass, Hidan. You haven’t been there either. It sounds like only Kisame and Sasori have. Itachi won’t tell, but he’s always been polite like that.” Deidara, reprimanding. Sakura blushed, a little pleased that someone was, as Ino would phrase it, “defending her honor.” Deciding she’d had enough of the conversation, Sakura rattled the door, alerting them of her presence.

“Hey, boys!” She gave a small wave. Deidara started a little but Hidan gave her a wide smirk.

“Heard you were getting in some experience before my birthday. What I said still holds true.” he said, voice pitched a little lower than normal. Sakura instantly flushed and scowled at him, flipping him off.

“You won’t get any if you’re ass.” She teased before gesturing to the exit. “Is everyone ready to go?” Deidara nodded.

“Yup, we were sent in to show you to the car. So how was your birthday?” Deidara asked cheerfully, picking up her bag. Sakura smiled widely and looked at them both, meeting their eyes.

“It was the best one so far. Thank you all so much, I really loved it.” Hidan smirked, but it was more subdued and Deidara practically glowed.

“Good.” Hidan said before walking out to the car. Deidara and Sakura looked at each other before chuckling and following him.

 

Sakura let out a contented sigh on the drive home. She was happy, relaxed and the upcoming week would only get better, Hidan’s birthday included. Besides, now she totally _had_ to meet up with Ino, if only because Sakura knew her best friend would grill her in the hallways if she didn’t make time for it.


	16. Chapter 15.5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know I promised weekly updates, but that just isn't possible. So expect an update about once a month. Also, I updated the chapter count. After some more discussion with the coauthors, it looks like we're just starting the climb to the climax. Which means there's a lot more for you all to be excited for! Thank you so much for all the lovely comments and kudos, it really puts a smile on my face. This was meant to be a full chapter but writer's block hit me hard and then I was prewriting for GenRai week so this is just 100% self-indulgent fluff. Enjoy!

Sakura rang the bell on the door to Ino’s dorm. Her roommate was staying with a boyfriend so the girls would have the place to themselves.  _ Good. _ Sakura thought, she didn’t really want anyone else hearing accounts of what she got up to for her birthday. It’s not that she regretted any of it, oh God, no, every single second had been amazing. And not just the more R-rated moments, everything was just so perfect. Sakura sighed happily and the door opened. 

“Sakura!” Ino shouted and pulled the girl into a hug. Sakura laughed and returned the sentiment. “So,” the blonde continued once they had closed the door. “Did you finally get some dick?” Sakura choked on air. 

“No.” she replied, still recovering from the directness. “Also, thank you so much for telling them about how much I had missed hot springs and wanted to go to one. It was such a good birthday.” Sakura gave her friend a wide smile and Ino returned the expression.

“Babe, I’m glad you enjoyed it, but seriously, have you done  _ anything _ ?” Ino asked, arms waving around in exasperation. Sakura fought back a smirk and gave a small nod. 

“I’ll tell you more when we get out of your entryway. I mean damn, is Sai not satisfying you?” Sakura teased, and Ino blanched before grinning wickedly. 

“You really don’t want me answering that. Unless you like hearing about other’s sexcapades? Have all those sexy vampires turned you into a voyeur?” Ino teased back, lifting a brow and tossing long blonde hair over her shoulder. Sakura shuddered and violently shook her head.

“You are very right. Do not answer that question. Ever. But seriously, I’m no blushing virgin anymore.” Sakura tried not to giggle as she watched Ino’s face move from teasing to shocked to delighted. 

“Well come on then! Tell me every single detail!” Ino tugged Sakura into her bedroom and sat cross-legged on the bed. Sakura followed and assumed a similar position. Ino tugged on Sakura's arm. "So come on, spill it. Exactly how far did you go? Have you been eaten out yet?!" Sakura tried her hardest not to blush like an idiot. 

"Yes..." she admitted softly. "Jesus fuck, the fangs. It makes such a difference." she had to close her eyes to combat her mortification. It was just Ino, but still, these were very personal details. 

"Yeah, go on. Who did it? I bet Hidan" Ino had heard all about the intense sexual tension between Sakura and Hidan. Sakura herself found that out of everyone, they did get along the most spectacularly in bed. Well, with what they’d done so far. Which wasn’t much. And that’s not to say that she didn't get along with the others, but Hidan had a certain, well, he had a certain passion for things. Sakura wondered how many girls he had slept with. Probably a hundred. She was about to conjecture further, but Ino interrupted her thoughts. "Forehead? You in there?" 

Sakura jolted. She hadn't meant to get lost in her thoughts. She waved Ino off. "Yeah, sorry, I was thinking." 

"I can tell. So, who was it that makes you drift off like this?" Ino asked, obviously very curious, and if Sakura looked closer, she could see some protectiveness in Ino's eyes. She wanted to make sure Sakura was okay and was taken care of. The thought made Sakura's heart swell. 

"It was Deidara, actually." She said, willing her cheeks not to turn the color of her hair. "And he was the last person to do anything." Ino's eyes went wide. 

"So who else 'did anything'?" She teased lightly. Sakura blushed as she thought of Sasori first, the heady heat and rush of it all, how sitting in the hot spring had felt and she knew she was slowly going more and more red. 

"Well, Sasori was first. We were sitting in the hot spring, pretty soon after I posted all the photos of the sky actually, and then we were just kissing, and it is a hot spring so he was, you know, naked, but I was wearing a swimsuit, and one thing led to another and...." Sakura trailed off, not quite sure how she wanted to word this. Ino groaned. 

"He did what? Ate you out? Fingered you? Fucked you until you couldn't walk?" Ino prompted impatiently and Sakura covered her face with her hands.

"The second one. Not in the hotspring though. We went back to my room." Sakura answered, voice muffled slightly by her hands. Ino let out a low squeal.

"My best friend, all grown up and getting handled! Was that it?" Sakura pulled her hands away to glare at Ino. 

"No, that's not it. I... I also...I mean, I..." Sakura took a breath and worded things how she had at the springs, clinical and scientific. "I engaged in oral sex with Itachi, him receiving the act and myself giving." She finally spit out. 

Ino gasped, eyes widening and she looked so absolutely ecstatic that Sakura felt scared for a split second. "You gave Uchiha Itachi, the hottest vampire alive, a BLOWJOB?!" Sakura felt her face turn the color of her hair. Then she heard a smooth, dark voice hiss from behind her. 

"You did   _ what  _ with my brother?" And Sakura felt her soul leave her body from sheer mortification. Ino looked like she was trying her absolute best not to just burst out into mad laughter. She also looked a little apologetic. But mostly amused to no end. Sakura swallowed and then very slowly turned to face Sasuke, who looked like he was having an existential crisis. 

"Sasuke! What are you doing here, it's past your bedtime."Sakura said awkwardly, her voice several octaves too high. Sasuke blinked slowly and focused on her.

“Sakura, I’m a vampire, I don’t sleep.” He responded and Sakura felt her body temperature get hotter, if that was even possible. Maybe she had a fever? Who knows?  And then, to make everything about twenty trillion times worse, she hears a very familiar voice. 

“This is NOT a conversation I thought we'd have at the beginning of this year. Sakura-chan, did he force you to? Are you alright?!” Naruto sounded embarrassed and very, very upset. Sakura moved her eyes to him, trying to ignore the very unlady-like sounds coming from Ino as she  _ slowly lost her shit _ . 

“Naruto! NO, no, no! It was...well you see… oh damn it all! It was my idea!” Sakura finally shouted, and the anger faded a little from Naruto’s features.

“Oh, cool. I really didn’t want to have to fight teme’s brother.” Naruto admitted, more than a little sheepishly. Although he still looked a little confused. Speaking of Sasuke, Sakura noticed her was still frozen still. Deciding to face the music, Sakura coughed slightly, elbowed Ino hard in the side to get her to  _ shut the fuck up and stop laughing _ before hesitantly speaking up.

“Sasuke-kun? Are you alright?” Sakura asked, more than a little scared of the answer. 

“I didn’t even know my brother would want sex? He’s never shown an interest in anybody? Now he’s doing it with my best friend?” Sasuke asked, sounding very unsure of it all. When Sakura gave a very embarrassed hum of agreement, he just shrugged and his face went back to it’s usual composure. “Okay then, just be safe and stuff. Itachi will be safe, and I imagine he’ll watch over you with the others to make sure you aren’t forced into anything.” Sasuke said reasonably, seeming to have adjusted to the idea.

Naruto, on the other hand, while no longer mad seemed confused still. "But Sakura-chan was such a nerd in highschool?" he muttered to himself, even if Naruto's muttering was usually at the volume of a normal person's speaking voice. "And even though she studied abroad, Sakura-chan's just really into school. And now she's sucking vampire dick?" Ino snorted very loudly and pulled Naruto from his thoughts. Sakura was a brilliant red now, her entire face, neck, and ears all a darker red than her hair. 

"If that's all you think she's been doing then you’re dumber than I thought” Ino deadpans, and watched Naruto splutter. Sakura kinda wanted the ground to swallow her whole. She should really learn a spell for that. Before he could answer, Sakura derailed that conversation with a very obvious subject change. 

“Hey, what are you two even doing here?” She asked, and Naruto’s face lit up as he picked up two boxes from the floor, totally falling for it. 

“It’s a mini-birthday party. Ino said you were coming over so we arranged to stop by. You always threw the best parties, and we wanted to give you our gifts! Right, teme?” Naruto explained, and Sasuke gave a nod. Sakura gasped quietly. 

“Guys… that’s really sweet.” She said, and she gave a gentle smile to her three companions. “Thanks. I’m always really happy when I spend time with you all” Naruto beamed like the sun and ran forward to hug her.

“Sakura-chan! I’m happy to spend time with you too!” he cried out and flung himself upon her. 

“Ooof! Naruto! Don’t just jump on me like that!” Sakura screeched, punching Naruto in the arm, sending him staggering back a few feet. 

“Ow! Don’t be mean like that Sakura-chan!” Naruto exclaimed, rubbing his arm with a pout. Sakura gave him an apologetic smile as Ino giggled and Sasuke smirked and made a pleased-sounding “hn.” The four spent a few hours together, talking and making jokes. Naruto had gotten her a gift certificate to the local ramen shop and a necklace with a sakura blossom charm. She had laughed, made fun of him, and then instantly put the pretty thing on, refusing to take it off. Sasuke had been surprisingly thoughtful in his gift, it was a stethoscope, with red tubing and a little Uchiha crest fan on the back of the bell. She had teared up a little at the gift, especially because it meant he thought of her as family. 

“The fan can mean Itachi too, I guess” Sasuke had said with a light blush when she opened it, and Sakura knew he was feeling generous because he had let her rise up and hug him tight as thanks. He had a warm, small smile on his face. Sasuke was always a little distanced so something so personal from him was a rare treat. She blinked back tears and held him close, happy when she felt his hands on her back, giving a light hug back. Sakura thought she saw Naruto pout. Ino had bought her a sleeveless blouse that had a wrap-around front and a pink chiffon skirt-like hem. The top was red with white trim and had a white circle on the back.

"Of course teme makes you all sentimental and shit." the werewolf huffed and Sakura let go of Sasuke to give him a long hug too 

"Better?" She asked and Naruto grinned widely and nodded.

Ino had bought her a sleeveless blouse that had a wrap-around front and a pink chiffon skirt-like hem. The top was red with white trim and had a white circle on the back. “It’ll go with your hair nicely!” Ino had said, and Sakura hugged her friend tight. The boys left after some cake and the girls chatted for a little while longer before tucking themselves into Ino’s bed and drifting off. The last thought Sakura remembered having was  _ I have the greatest friends. _

  
  
  
  
  


Hidan’s birthday was tomorrow and the tension was killing Sakura. No, not the tension of waiting for what’s to come, Sakura has figured that all out and knows exactly what she’s doing as a party. It’s the  _ sexual _ tension that’s slowly killing her. Because, despite being a generally intelligent woman, Sakura Haruno can also be a complete, blithering idiot. This whole mess started two days ago, when Sakura returned late in the morning after staying over at Ino’s. After Sakura showered and did some light magical textbook reading she emerged from her room and found Itachi, Sasori, and Hidan in the living room. She grabbed a quick snack of some belvita biscuits and sat down next to Hidan on the loveseat. Sasori scanned her from head to toe and jerked his chin at her throat. “What’s with the cheesy necklace?”

Sakura blushed faintly and brought up a hand to gently caress Naruto’s gift. “Sasuke and Naruto surprised me at Ino’s with gifts and cake. They wanted to make I had a birthday with them too.” She smiled fondly at her lap, remembering the night. Sasori hummed in acknowledgment, Hidan grunted, and Itachi raised a brow.

“What did my little brother get you?” Itachi sounded genuinely curious so Sakura answered honestly. 

“A red stethoscope with the Uchiha clan symbol on the bell.” Sakura said with a little smile. “He said the fan could mean either of you…” Sakura trailed off as she remembered the conversation that had preceded  her opening the gift. “But, um, well you see, Sasuke mightknowwhathappenedatthehotspring.” she rushed out, cheeks flushing to the color of her hair. Itachi merely raised a brow, although his eyes did find a spot on the wall behind Sakura. 

“Oh. I see, well, I suppose I should message him and ask to talk. I don’t wish for any bad blood between us.” Sakura breathed a sigh of relief with how well Itachi was taking this. In fact, she was so relieved she almost forgot that Hidan and Sasori were in the room. Almost, until Sasori cleared his throat.

“Itachi, you were also ‘lucky’ at the hot springs?” the redhead asked casually and both Sakura and Itachi choked on air and blushed. Itachi made a strangled sound and stood up, quickly making a weak excuse and fleeing the room. Hidan grunted in amused satisfaction and turned his intense eyes to Sakura. Sakura gulped and shot a quick glare to Sasori, who shrugged and then left the room, heading down the hall towards his door. 

Now alone with Hidan, always a dangerous thing really why hadn’t the rest of the guys set up a patrol or something to make sure they didn’t spend too much time alone together, Sakura met his gaze and raised a brow. “Got something to say? Or are you just going to waste oxygen by saying something lewd?” she shot off, starting to feel the cold-hot aura of  _ intense sexual frustration _ that Hidan seemed to give off around her nowadays. He rolled his eyes and picked at his anild casually. 

“You’re a real smartass, you know that?” Hidan asked, voice heavy with dry sarcasm. Sakura blinked before smirking.

“Objectively I’m extremely smart, I doubt it has anything to do with my ass, though. Even if it is exceptionally nice.” She teased back, pulling his gaze towards her.

“I thought you would have learned your lesson with the prank war, pinky. Don’t mess with me.” he warned, partially joking, completely self-satisfied and smug. Sakura colored pink again  _ god dammit all to hell I hate how easily he makes me blush _ . Nevertheless, she crossed her arms in clear challenge. 

“Really? I won that war, easily. What were you expecting me to learn? That you were a vain idiot?” Sakura shoots back, feeling only a little proud that the comment makes Hidan do a double take. But then the shit-eating grin is back and Sakura feels like punching him. Why on earth is she going out of her way for him tomorrow? 


End file.
